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Steal the Briefcase!

I decide to irony the hell out of it and trap you in a block of butter.
Then I realise I can't take the briefcase from you now since you are stuck in butter, so I pick the chunk of butter with you inside, and place it on a pedestal in the Karpiverse
 
I chase Kaben and Madeleine with a bag of magikarps and throw it at them, grabbing the briefcase and using my Hades kid powers to transport to the Underworld.
 
"Where did you get these?" I ask, suddenly behind you holding the Magikarp Bag "You hurt my people, now you die"
I push you into the Styx and take the briefcase
 
(Its been a year since I've read The Last Olympian.. don't you dare misjudge my mythology knowledge. That will get you ignored. DON'T. YOU. DARE.)

The Furies grab me from above and I summon hoards of skeletons who maul and scream in your ear, giving me time to snatch the briefcase.
 
"Thats not how the Furies work" I sigh "Mythology Fail Much?"
I put on earplugs and then poke one of the skeletons, causing them all to fall over like a game of dominoes. I snatch the Briefcase back
 
I sigh and give up, returning to my house to read mythology books, RWBY memes, and Rick Riordan books. I grab SVTFOE scissors and cut through the air, and the briefcase comes flying into the portal.
 
A glimmer shines in the sky, and I appear. Falling at a massive speed and wearing a helmet made of a hollowed-out watermelon half, I burst through the roof of DaVioletAce's house, snatch the briefcase, and continue my fall, breaking through the floor. I pull out an Acme Hand Drill™ and begin escaping through the ground.
 
I jump down from below Mr Fishykarp with a smirk and throw some gas at him. As a result, he becomes dizzy and eventually falls asleep. I grab the briefcase with headphones playing I'm The One and twisting a Stygian Iron sword around.
 
You forget that I never took the briefcase from the Magikarp, who are currently swimming away. The decoy briefcase in your hand explodes and the sound wakes me up. I take the briefcase and make another decoy, give one to the Magikarp and take the other, then we go in opposite directions. You can only chase one
 
I smiled, chuck my case at you, and they both explode. Meanwhile, another Magikarp has the REAL real briefcase and has placed it in the Karpiverse
 
I pause and suddenly my good friend Carrie encases me in a water bubble, so the bomb won't hit. I follow Kaben and Madeleine with the gem, and bring out a bow. I shoot the gem into Kaben and Madeleine's Gyrados, with a bow tied to the back of the gem. I snatch the briefcase from it and tumble down to the core of the Earth.
 
After the ordeal of digging a drainage ditch for the tunnel, I proceed to send out Sandshrew. She digs down to the Earth's core, and returns to the safety of her Pokeball.
I emerge from the tunnel, wearing my helmet and holding a Horsea like a water pistol.
"This Horsea has the Sniper ability. Give it up."
 
"I would never.." she said slyly. "Not very nice of me." she grabs BlackSocks's arm and throws it backwards, making it let go of the Horsea as it tumbled downwards more.
 
Meanwhile, I'm outside the Karpiverse looking in at all the frozen Magikarp
"no" I mutter "NOOOOOO!"
I see you begin the battle, and realise that you have the gem.

I ride in on a Gyrados with my remaining Magikarp Forces following me to free their frozen brethren
 
(Credit to @Sciencewars for the original!)
Basically, how this works is one person steals a briefcase, and then someone else steals it from them. Simple! But be creative. Don't just steal the briefcase, steal it in a certain way. I'll start.

In another timeline (from the original StB), I see a man waiting for his plane in an airport. For some reason, I feel like I should steal his briefcase. I do this, and he runs after me. I use a Pocket-Teleporter to teleport out of the airport, and to an underground base about 50 miles away. I hide the briefcase in a highly secure vault.

(It doesn't have to be that long ;))
 
I smile as I watch from afar, again it has begun. I open a Magikarp portal inside the vault and enter, setting up a barricade of Magikarp to defend me and the Briefcase (vaults being notoriously hard to break into so they make good defensive points)
 
I use my Pocket-Teleporter and teleport right on top of the briefcase. The P-T breaks, though, so I cannot use it again. I call for my Whiscash army to clear a path in the Magikarp barricade, and escape with the briefcase.
 
I appear in front of you again with two Magikarp (because dimensional portals) and the first one tackles you in the face, knocking you back and causing you to drop the briefcase. The Second launches you back again and I grab the briefcase, running away
 
I fire a cannon at the dragons, they drop the briefcase, and I grab it. I hide it in the most obvious location possible, because it's so obvious that nobody would ever bother to look there.
 
I enter a room and see the breifcase. I pick it up, and randomly decide to steal it. I take out my grappling hook and shoot it at the ceiling lamp. I push one of the ceiling tiles out of place and climb up into the ceiling.
 
I take a Pokéball off my belt and call out my Ninetales. It distracts you while I sneak up from behind and take the breifcase out of your hands. I jump on Ninetales' back and he jumps out of the window. I take out my dimensional scissors (SVTFOE refrence <.>) and travel to Saturn. I hide the breifcase on one of it's many rings and go back to Earth, acting like I had never left.
 
The breifcase lands on Earth in front of me, creating a smoldering crater. I climb down into the crater and pick up the breifcase. I call out my Fearow and climb on it's back. I fly away with the breifcase in my arms.
 
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