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sWo BADFIC CONTEST 2014!

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by KoL, May 27, 2014.

  1. KoL

    KoL FPS Guy
    Staff Member Moderator

    [​IMG]
    ...because thanks to the Creative Corner, the quota for shitfic has increased tenfold. In order to truly excel this year, and earn the right to call yourself Badfic Champion, you will need to harness every ounce of fail and lose within you, and create a work of fiction so awful, so terrible, so horrifically bad that it'll mentally scar those unfortunate enough to read it for the rest of their miserable lives.

    I'm sure you know the rules by now, but for those that don't: The objective is simply to write a chapter of fiction, and the entry deemed the worst will win the ultimate fail prize. Remember that terrible spelling, overuse of smilies and flashing, multicoloured text will only get you so far - for the fic to be truly awful, its very core, its story, narrative and characters must be utterly abominable in comparison to anything ever seen or written before in order for you to be truly worthy of being called Champion.

    So, with that said... we're here. Get to writing.
     
    Whimsical Totodile likes this.
  2. Teapot

    Teapot Virtual Duck Enthusiast
    Staff Member Administrator

  3. KoL

    KoL FPS Guy
    Staff Member Moderator

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Dwayna DragonFire

    Dwayna DragonFire 2014 Little Cup Champion

    my nam issparcle twilite(not my reel nam but stil awsome bcuz its namdafter teh ponie butbacwords incase ur all idoots lol :@nd this is wut my chara looks likm <.>http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk192/crazy_anime_freak_13/girlwithcross.jpgmypokemond linup fer klaos iz 1moonty(kreselia w/ sycoshit aroara beansykic + moonblaujst 2) deeer zernees w/ horn lech otrag clos cumbat +miostty terain3(ribonss silvoen wdrianin kiss litescrenmooonbladt fary wnd& qik atk 4 fliwer floet w\ petl danssoolar baem moonblast + magikal leef megan 5_gardviorwit megastoon (so seh can bcommegaafrom rofl) n has confusen sikik futer site &stoerd powre n6) last pokemin ios arcees hwo has evry move (bcuz hehaz isthe dog ofall pkoemno nerdz roflmao>_< newyanow thats ovr wirt iwill regal uwtih my awsumstori im teh wurld chamoof the whol kalsoreefgn cuz thtas how te storu geos i wuznorml traner whne arcues came dwn formhet cluods n sed 'ur destind fer gratenes" nd jion as 1st partmenber all u pertendres cant evn cumpare 2me cuz i hav arseus n u dont>=O also ask ketchun n gray oak isin luv w/me &i do thigns witthem leik fernch kiss:love: (gety it cuz wer in the kalos regoin witch is basd on frans gooogle it bithces >:Dooopssorty 4 sweerin:'| n eway evn tho u desrv it 4 nit bien az awsom I cn defeet all of unetime ;)u can PN me 4 frendcod so ican proof it cuz my mom tld me not to givout persnal info on intrenet im olny 12yrs oldbut ican still beet u n e day of the weak foolz8):up::up::up:
     
    #4 Dwayna DragonFire, May 28, 2014
    Last edited: May 28, 2014
  5. Shiny Lyni

    Shiny Lyni 2016 Singles Football

    Pory-Z and Priscilla the Queen of Dunsparce met 1 day and omg the dokidokis from Pory-Z in their first meeting made it blush so much the planet ex-ploded from the heat kyaaaa~

    Priscilla how-ever was tsuntsun and as queen was able to survive the explosion but when she saw that Pory-Z had dyed due to the explosion it made she cried and cried so hard "Pory-Z nooo why you do this I never got to tell you... tell you daisuki" she said while crying but then Pory-Z's beak pecked her fin and she was so happy Priscilla started emitting sparks but she discharged so much she dieddddd

    So Pory-Z by itself in the destroyed world swore that it would stay alive forever so that Priscilla's memory could live on forever the end

    Porylla-Z is my otp!!!!! Priscilla is my original character do not steal!!!
     
  6. Shiny Lyni

    Shiny Lyni 2016 Singles Football

    WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THEY HAVE BABIES! AND THE BABIES ALL DIED IN THE EXPLOSION TOO D:
     
  7. Dwayna DragonFire

    Dwayna DragonFire 2014 Little Cup Champion

    rolfmoa u posr u cant geton my lvl witch iz 100 biloin all teh way threw :@>=O
     
  8. Mi nam is blaze hawthorne and am 12 yers old (i lok lyk dis http://www.mgsrvr.com/84fa67814415988411fab9c4a37448dd.jpeg cool rite >_<;)8):up:) nd dis iz hw i becme te champyon of the kato regeon. i strted alon aftar ma parints die in te drk a pkemn cam to meh it ws darkcry he kil ma prents so i pnch hm in da bals bcoz im nt a wmpy btch nd stufed hs ass in a pkebal. he obay me i mde hm kll evryon at ma scool bcos thy ar al butfaces. i bttled te stoopid gim leders thir wek pkemn wer no mtch fr darcri. he pt tem al to slep thn blstd dem al to pices. pkmon blud nd gut wur evrywher thn i kll the stoupid jim leedrs wth ma badas sword o darkness!!!!! in vitri rod arseus tied t stup us bt i thrugh ma swurd at hs fce nd klld hime (god r so wek). notin culd stup meh nw but ma prints ghst cme bck nd tld mi tht im scretli de prnce of di pkemn wold. me n drkcai klled eleet fur nd chamon. nce a bcme chamion i riled ova duh pokamen wurld. evry1 becme mi slav or i wld kil thm. aniwa y u listnin to mi sory u shuld beh doin mh bidin bitch!!!! or u wnna fite, ull los bcoz im strngest in wurld u stoopid n00b >:D>=O:@
     
  9. tere Ws upn a tim long ago wen pkmn livd in da plnt earth wth humns. <.><.><.><.><.><.>it ws SPER AWESOM.<.><.><.><.><.> i had a pkmn, it was the f****ng :angel:arceus:angel: & i can control it. i ruled over everibodi bcos i was da best.;);););) bcos of that :D:D:Di WINNED EVERI PKMN LEAGUES8) AND BCAME DA CHAMPION F :up:DA PKMN>:D UNIVER:arr:SE BCOS IM GREAT:\=|::\=|::\=|:[​IMG]
     
  10. Alice walked down the streets Neo Tokyo Watashi Kawaii City, swaying her curvy hips from side to side. Her platinum blonde hair absolutely shined in the sunlight, and people near her basked in the utter glory that was Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime, pushing against each other to get a glimpse at true beauty. She scoffed, pulling out a mirror to look at herself as she meandered through the streets. Even moved around her, respecting the first rule of Neo Tokyo Watashi Kawaii City: Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime is the Queen. In fact, she was the Queen of the town, but she let all her scores of fans do her work for her. Satisfied with her makeup highlighting her gorgeous sky blue eyes, She put away her mirror and reached her destination: Neo Tokyo Watashi Kawaii City Pokemon Cool Battle Gym.
    But all was not well in Neo Tokyo Watashi Kawaii City Pokemon Cool Battle Gym! When Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime set foot within its hallowed walls, she saw her favorite yet less popular than her employee lying on the floor, with ketchup all over their body. She ran over, making sure to accentuate her generous breasts before taking Bess into her hands. Bess looked up at Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime. "Oh, Alice-chan! I only wish I could be here longer to further appreciate your...face..." With those last words, she closed her eyes and fainted, like a Pokemon would. Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime stood up and looked towards the sky, determination in her eyes. "Don't worry, my unpopular friend! Your sacrifice will not be in vain! I will punish those who dare harm the people I hold dear!" She paused, and turned dramatically, eyes shining as she looked towards the beautiful bust of herself, now lying crashed on the floor next to Bess. "And you have gone too far! To even touch a sculpture of me is an offense to the highest degree! Neo Team Rocket X, you will pay for this!" She cried out.
    Alice arrived at Neo Team Rocket X's headquarters, flawlessly knocking out the guards by running a hand through her hair, causing them to swoon and faint at the sight of such poise. She flipped three times and performed an axe kick, busting the door open. "Neo Team Rocket X Leader Sakura Haruno! You will pay for your crimes!" As she uttered these words, however, she gasped in extreme distress! Before her was a horrible scene. Her boyfriend, Makoto Tachibana, was tied up above a boiling pot of extremely hot soup! If he fell in, he would get a horrible tan! And next to it was Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime's arch-nemesis, Neo Team Rocket X Leader Sakura Haruno. The evil organization head laughed in a capitalist way, shouting "Haha, you are too late, Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime! I have already started my evil plan that is so incredibly evil, and there is nothing you could do to stop it!" She said, but she ended up looking like an idiot because Sakura is dumb.
    "No! I challenge you to a Madoka Pokemon Battle, Baka-Sakura!" Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime screeched out in response, casting a worried glance to the rope holding her one true love with rippling abs, Makoto Tachibana. He seemed safe for now, so Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime took out her Pokeball. "Go, Kyuubeytwo!" From the pokeball came out a flawless man with a Mewtwo tail, Kyuubey ears, and red eyes. He was dazzling, casting off blinding rays of justice, forcing the dumb Sakura to hide her eyes in shame at her stupidity.
    "You think it's going to be that easy? Go, Sayakialga!" Sakura shouted back, throwing out a pokeball of her own. From it came a generally average blue haired girl who was dumb, but she had Dialga's armor on. Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime tensed up, she knew this was going to be a tough battle.
    "Secret Ninjutsu Art! Free Ninja!" Makoto cried out, and Alice Nicole Anne-Marie Katniss Hime looked up in awe as her boyfriend used his ninja skills to get out of the rope and land safely at her side. He swooped up his girlfriend and lay a gentle kiss on her cheek, causing her to blush. "Don't worry," he said. "I'll save you from this fiendish and hideous woman!" Upon saying that, he ran forward, while Sayakialga ran to face him. The two clashed, and a large explosion occurred, causing the two girls to gasp in horror as they waited for the smoke to clear...
    END OF CHAPTER F1RST
    WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ALICE? WILL SHE EVER GET HER NAILS DONE? WILL SHE BE ABLE TO SAVE THE DAY WITH HER FRIEND SONIC THE HEDGHOG? WILL PIKACHU BE ABLE TO GET TO NEO TOKYO WATASHI KAWAII CITY HIGH ON TIME? TUNE IN NEXT TIME ON "SUPER KAWAII BATTLE SHOW-DESU"!
     
    Shiny Lyni likes this.
  11. Linkachu

    Linkachu Hero of Pizza
    Staff Member Administrator

  12. 1s APoN a t:angel:iem, dere wuz a litTlE pOKemoN traiNEr namEd Paul. Paul wuz veary xcited two get his 1st pokeman from Proffezzer SiCKAmoR. After da heariNg dat the Proffezzer lived fars aw;_;ay, dis mayed Paul sad. PaUL asked hiz mommY if see could fiND himZ a pokeman. Paul's moMMy loo[​IMG] ked. Later SHE had one. Wut poke[​IMG] man iz dat?. Paul thaWT. Pauls mom waLk:)Z up to da house. OpeNz da door. Steps inside.

    Paul loOKeD @ da shyknee red pokeball. In hiZ mom's hand. Wut iz it mom? Hiz mom grin[​IMG] Ed. It t00K I and Raichu to fINd A weak enuff Pokemanz. For u Paully. HeRE U g0. Wow! A Wooper! Your wElLcUM Paul.:up:I well nAme it.... Wuzzbyzz! :x:Byez mommy. I gonna b a pokemon trayner!

    HOw will PAUl adju[​IMG] st to hiz nu frieNd Wuzzbyzz? Iz he ReaDY for wUt KaLOz can ThR0 @ hIm? FINe 0Ut neX ePIs0de of "PoKmun Kal0z AdDvenchURE"! :love::D
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  13. KoL

    KoL FPS Guy
    Staff Member Moderator

    An awful effort from you all, truly.

    Judging shall commence sometime next week, so if you have yet to unleash the true horrors of your fic writing, you don't have much time left.
     
    Whimsical Totodile likes this.
  14. KoL

    KoL FPS Guy
    Staff Member Moderator

    OK ladies and gents, it is judging time!

    All results will be spoiler'd to add suspense, so without any further ado...

    Dwayna Dragonfire
    I'm seeing a lot of random letters and not much else, certainly nothing resembling the English language. Twilight Sparkle and Megatron were there and some Pokemon showed up too I guess... and you're an anime girl with crosses. Whoop-de-fucking-do. I don't really know what else to say beyond "I can't read any of this, and quite frankly do not want to."

    Fail Points: 82/100

    Kyubeon
    Did you just use doki-doki in a sentence? Shame on you. And the planet explodes from blushing because tsunderes destroy worlds with their chronic overuse or something. Then some awful melodrama happened and the end. Fuck this crap, you should be ashamed.

    Fail Points: 95/100

    Alexxander
    It looks like Dwayna's fic except more coherent. And more is less in this game unfortunately. Your fic still sucked major balls however.

    Fail Points: 80/100

    AitorLucasPunto
    I have to say I was quite amused by your work and your image. Unfortunately, amusing me results in less fail points since it means I enjoy your awful work to some ironic extent.

    Fail Points: 67/100

    Tangrow
    [​IMG]

    Fail Points: 91/100

    Linkachu
    I don't know why you even bother trying at this stage. No-one on the internet will ever heed that kind of message anyway.

    Fail Points: 0/100

    Whimsical Totodile
    What the fuck did you even do here? Is that a person's legs in the middle of that mess? It's simple but god-damn it's shit like you wouldn't believe. Don't quit your day job.

    Fail Points: 90/100

    ...and without further ado, the results are:

    3rd place goes to Whimsical Totodile with 90/100 Fail Points
    2nd place goes to Tangrow with 91/100 Fail Points
    1st place goes to Kyubeon with 95/100 Fail Points

    And to celebrate another year of awful shit courtesy of the lot of you, here's Ed Miliband's bacon sandwich again:

    [​IMG]

    See you all same time next year for more awful garbage than even dA and FF.net can muster.
     

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