I'm Completely New at This. Help.

[NickiMinaj]

Alright. I read the guide up above, and I'm trying to put together a good, decent team. Unfortunately, I feel as if everything that I'm doing is complete crap. Here are my Pokemon...(This is kind of a Hoenn Team...)

Sceptile @Leftovers
Overgrow
Timid (+Spd, -Atk)
Leaf Storm
Energy Ball
Focus Blast
Dragon Pulse?

Swellow @Wacan Berry
Guts
Adament (+Atk, -Spec. Atk)
Facade
Aerial Ace
Steel Wing
????

Alakazam @Focus Sash
Synchronize
Timid (+Spd, -Atk)
Psychic
Focus Blast
Calm Mind / Shadow Ball / Recover
Calm Mind / Shadow Ball / Recover
***Need help. Too many options with Alakazam.

Flygon @Choice Band
Levitate
Adament (+Atk, -Spec. Atk)
Earthquake
Dragon Claw
Stone Edge
Fire Punch / U-Turn
*Sadly...I'm not completely familiar with all Gen V attacks. Anything new for this puppy?

Azumarill @Muscle Band
Brave (+Atk, -Spd)
Thick Fat
Substitute
Focus Punch
Ice Punch
Surf
*This is awful. I already know.

Absol @Leftovers
Adament (+Atk, -Spec. Atk)
Pressure
Night Slash
Superpower
Psycho Cut
Pursuit / Sucker Punch??????
*Is there a better alternative for that last move?

As you can see, this is horrible. Need as much help as I can get. Please. I'm open to anything.

 

[KoL]

Clearly you read the guide but absolutely nothing else.

- Sceptile is OK except for his hold item. Give him either Life Orb or Wise Glasses, possibly Choice Specs/Scarf.

- Where's Swellow's Flame Orb? That's the only hold item he should ever use. U-Turn for the final attack slot.

- Alakazam has no business using Calm Mind or Recover with his atrocious HP and defenses. Charge Beam is his best option for stat boosting, but you'll need to make sure it'll KO whatever you use it on to keep Alakazam safe. Note that the Focus Sash will get instantly broken if entry hazards are down on your side of the field (and against anyone good, they will be.)

- U-Turn in the last slot. Jolly nature instead of Adamant as well.

- Azumarill has no business using Thick Fat when it gets the amazing Huge Power ability. Waterfall, Aqua Jet and Ice Punch all fit on perfect for Huge Power Azumarill, and the final attack should be Brick Break really. Also, this guy wants the Choice Band far more than Flygon does.

- Again, why does Absol have Leftovers, he's an attacker? You want Pursuit AND Sucker Punch both on the set, not one or the other, so that Absol can trap Psychic and Ghost-types with a revenge-killing checkmate (although this requires prediction on your part.) Superpower's fine, and Psycho Cut can stay I suppose.

You might have read the guide, but it's painfully obvious you knew nothing of your Pokemon's individual strengths and weaknesses when you made this, except possibly Flygon. Reading the Clinic guide isn't enough if you don't look into what your individual Pokemon can do. Also, your team lacks several key components, namely someone to use entry hazards, a Rapid Spinner possibly, a stallbreaker (this team will get walled by a lot since you have no mixed sweepers or stallbreakers at all) and even lacks any form of support Pokemon/walls.

If you plan on using this against other players, anyone half-decent will wreck this team. Use Bulbapedia or Serebii to find out more concise information on what your individual Pokemon can do, and then work from there.

 

[Shocari]

Just a little note for Alakazam: he gets an amazing Dream World ability in Magic Guard, if you're willing to look for one. Slap a Life Orb on him, and you get all its benefits without a single low point, meaning a 30% boost in power without the 10% HP recoil. Add a Charge Beam boost or two, and you've got some pretty powerful attacks being released from this thing.

 

[NickiMinaj]

Would it be a better option to remove Swellow for say...a Skarmory? That way I could have an entry hazard such as Spikes, but also get STAB benefits from Flying? In addition, I could also have a powerful Steel Wing.

Something like this?

Skarmory @Wide Lens
Careful (+S. Def, -S. Atk)
252 Atk. / 252 S. Def / 4 Spd.
Spikes
Steel Wing
Drill Peck? (For a Physical Flying?)
Agility (The goal is to get Spikes out before anything else.)

And Now, the rest of my team would look something like this?

Sceptile @Life Orb
Overgrow
Timid (+Spd, -Atk)
252 S. Atk / 252 Spd. / 4 HP
Leaf Storm
Energy Ball
Focus Blast
Dragon Pulse

Alakazam @Wise Glasses
Synchronize
Timid (+Spd, -Atk)
252 S. Atk / 252 Spd. / 4 HP
Psychic
Focus Blast
Charge Beam
Shadow Ball?

Azumarill @Choice Band
Huge Power
Brave (+Atk, -Spd)
252 Atk, 252 S. Atk, 4 HP
Ice Punch
Waterfall
Aqua Jet
Brick Break

Flygon @Muscle Band
Levitate
Jolly (+Spd., -S. Atk)
Earthquake
Dragon Claw
Stone Edge
U-Turn

Absol @Chople Berry
Super Luck*(Realized that this is much better)
Adament (+Atk, -S. Atk)
252 Atk / 128 Spd / 128 Def
Pursuit
Sucker Punch
Superpower
Psycho Cut

I was thinking about possibly switching out Absol for a wall as you suggested, but I figured that this would still be okay.

 

[Tangrow]

Kay. Your Azumarill still has Special Attack EVs when none of its move are special? You want those in HP, for the most part, or Speed, if you prefer. At the same time, the nature should be Adamant, as you want whatever speed you can muster.

And, er, no. Skarmory is really messy there. He's not meant to bother attacking, and Agility is useless as well. If you want Spikes as fast as possible, use Spikes in the first place! A general moveset would be something like:
-Spikes
-Whirlwind
-Roost
-Brave Bird/Drill Peck

You set up three layers of Spikes, Roost as needed, and start Whirlwinding the enemy around. Brave Bird/Drill Peck is so you're not bait for taunt. Take out those Attack EVs as well, Skarmory needs any and all HP he can get. Other than that, your other sets are fine. I can't vouch on how well they'll work together, yet regardless.

One last thing, Absol will live to nothing. He needs a Focus Sash. Even with Defense EVs, he WILL die. So give him that speed he really wants. As for his moves, once again, pick between Pursuit and Sucker Punch. The extra move slot could be X-Scissor, Stone Edge/Rock Slide, even Shadow Claw!

 

[NickiMinaj]

Due to me not having any patience to stock up on BP to purchase the "Power" items, I've decided to use the Macho Brace for EV training on these 6. Will that affect anything?

 

[Sem]

No, it will not, just know that the Macho Brace doubles any EVs you receive. PokeRus will also help you get it done faster, and Macho Brace will work in unison with PokeRus. So, say, battling a Patrat will give you 1 Attack EV, which will double thanks to PokeRus, so you'll end up with 2, which will double AGAIN with the Macho Brace for a grand total of four Attack EVs.