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Korei Sunshine

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by Jeydis, Jun 5, 2009.

  1. Hello everyone, welcome to my fan fiction thread. I have been thinking about doing this for a very very long time and I figured working on the fan fiction may be a better way to finally complete my fakemon region of Korei. For more information on the region check out my topic using the link that is currently in my signature area. I am looking for lots of feedback since this is my first endeavor of the sort.

    Thank you for your time and have fun reading my work :D

    Korei Sunshine - Chapter 1: Of turtles and men.

    Tiny bubbles, everywhere...isn't that how the song went? I am surrounded by water and darkness and somehow no fear grips me. I just let myself sink, a loud humming is buzzing in my head. The humming grows louder as the water gets darker, as my feet get closer to the still invisible sand. Soon the sound grows so loud it seems to be coming from everywhere and splitting up into many hums and tunes. I wince as a headache crawls its way into my skull, the pain feeling hollow and surreal. A surge of bubbles flows out from all around me as the chorus reaches its peak. The water then goes dead and calm,, the voices stopping their painful lament. My skin prickles and suddenly I feel that I am no longer alone in my drift in the abyss.

    My feet brush against algae, long thin strands of the stuff. Their icky texture makes me recoil away, but more of it appears from the bottom, reaching up with pale green limbs. Suddenly I feel it, the water is moving ever so slightly to the rhythm of a heartbeat. The pulse is nor my own and as I sink to the seafloor in a cloud of sand, I know who's it is.

    Maturadin, the great mystical turtle pokemon is here, I know this as surely as I know my name is Isabelle Meyer, daughter of ranch owners, David Meyer and Rachel Rose. I shift around to try and spot it but all there is to see is the tangles of seaweed, the great sheer rock face of the Koreidan volcano and the endless darkness of the tropical sea.

    My body freezes as a great grumble resounds through the calm waters. The nearby volcano shakes with mind-bending force, venting smoke into the already black water. Great chunks of stone come free from the mountain as the mighty peak rises to its feet. Wait a second ... feet? I glance at the gigantic limbs under the mountain. Stone claws the color of onyx edge the front of each massive paw. A fissure appears on the now more obvious front of the volcano, the yawning darkness stretches up for meters. The turtle's massive head begins to emerge from the inky blackness of the shell. It's eyes are closed and it's scales shining with an almost divine light. The top of the legendary pokemon's head is surrounded with filaments of gold and silver, not unlike a great crown. As I gawk at Maturadin the lines linked to its mind shift , some sputtering out in a fine cloud of dust, some snaking into existence. From all my pokemon mythology classes, I know that each of those thousands of strands represents a human or a pokemons life. Maturadin being the great mind that watches over each and every one. The turtle shifts in its never ending dream, its eyes slowly emerging from behind stone lids.

    I now know something is wrong, very very wrong with this. Maturadin is an impartial judge of life, not ever supposed to wake and participate in the lives it observes in its mind's eye. Its location has never been truly known, the most popular rumour being that the Great Watcher sleeps at the center of the earth. Maturadin's eyes are fully open now, flooding the waters with amber light. The sight of its awakening leaves me feeling infinitely small, Maturading being by far the largest pokemon I have ever heard of or read about. His pupils alone are as tall as my family's house. Those keen pupils set in beautiful orbs of amber, split by a navy iris. Those eyes are set upon me now as I feel every hair on my body rise up as far as they can. Its beak creaks loudly with the sound of grinding stone as it opens. I can see down the tunnels of Maturadin's throat, everything is the color of amber and black stone.

    "BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZ!!!" the great turtle bellows.​

    Well there you have it, chapter one of my tale. A few typos may have slipped by me and some syntax mistakes as well no doubt, please do point them out. I want to make this as fun to read as it is to write.
  2. ooh, I'm glad you finally posted this ^^ I remember you mentioning it way back in my first fic. Either way, really good start and really good details. I'm going to make a note to visit the link in your sig again. Can't wait to read more ^^
  3. Oooh, a Legendary turtle. Was this based off the Native American myth?

    This is a good beginning. I can't wait for the action to begin.

    A random note: Stomp her, turtle, stomp her!
  4. Psycho Monkey

    Psycho Monkey Member of the Literary Elite Four

    Giant God turtle FTW! :D

    That is a remarkable first chapter Jeydis. It's so calming and peaceful, yet it has something else to it that I can't quite find the right word for.

    I look forward to exploring Korei with you!
  5. It is actually based on a great series of books, Stephen King`s The Dark Tower. Im not sure if people can be sued for non profit works but meh, I really liked the idea of a godmind turtle and I was missing a legendary for my region lol.

    Thanks for the support guys, I will be writing the next bit shortly, like monday probably since I am moving into my brand new appartment over the weekend :D
  6. Wow. I am simply...astounded. This is very amazing, Jeydis, and I mean it.

    A Turtle God? Simply unique I would guess, without being copied from Stephen King XP.

    The similies and metaphors were very detailed and descriptful, my eyes were almost literally swimming with color as I read this. Please keep it up.
  7. Sir Red

    Sir Red Charms' Caped Crusader

    Wow, that was terrific. The description was superb and I'm very interested in seeing what happens next. Only problem is that I wish the chapters were longer, because I wanna read more.
  8. Raargh! My Stephen King-obsessed self should have thought of the turtle being based off his works.

    *whacks self in face repeatedly*

    Well, other than that, I must say I cannot wait to read more.
  9. Super ultra late!

    ''Buzz! Buzz!''

    I feel strong but soft furry paws against my shoulders, shaking me awake from a dream that is already slipping away to an amber fog. I blink sleepily and awake to a sea of yellow and black striped fur.

    ''Alright, alright already. I'm awake Shana, tell mom ill be right down...'' I say with a grumble.

    Shana is my mother's Electabuzz, they have been together since childhood. Shana looks at me now with her usual cheer, a peppy attitude so uncommon to her species, I am convinced the electric pokemon inherited it from my mother over their years of travel. I shoo her away comically so I can change out of my pyjamas. Shana exits the room and closes the wooden door gently behind her. I stretch and yawn lazily, scratching my now frizzy hair (say thanks for Shana's amazing static touch.) A strange vibe is upon me, I can't really put my finger on it though I don't doubt it's probably due to Shana,s shocking waking of my sleeping form. I slip out of my thin blue night gown and pull out my work clothes from my dark wood desk. Picking out a dark red t-shirt and a pair of black work jeans, I hurriedly get dressed as I know my mother has only sent Shana because she herself was too busy with the morning shores.

    I pull apart my curtains to take a good look at the grounds below. The ranch house sits atop a high crested hill and is surrounded by fields on each side. The broad main field houses the grazing pokemon and other large pokemon that need good running space. The section behind the house was converted to a greenhouse and hold our more exotic arrivals that prefer more humid and jungle-like environments. The list of habitats goes on and on as the Meyer Ranch is the biggest one in the island archipelago of Korei and we are certainly proud of it. But today the grounds seem peaceful and only a group of grazing Miltank and Rapidash that arrived from the circus trainers last week can be seen at first.

    Looking straight down I spot the great big oak tree that adorns the ranch house's front lawn. A flash of brown and dark leafy green tells me Kina is already up and about, chasing her Taillow friends around the tree no doubt. Kina is my treasure, a young Springmur that my parents received from a very young and arrogant trainer by the name of Neil Priceton. The brat barged in here with his ''entourage'' on late afternoon and demanded to see the owners of the ...''pitiful wooden shack''. Once I fetched my parents, he stated that he was abandoning his Springmur to us since he deemed it too weak for his likes. The poor thing had lost a battle against a much stronger foe and had been left to heal by her own means by the snot nosed kid that stood before my astonished and disgusted parents. My father threw the brat and his noisy lot out of the grounds and told them never to return to the ranch. By the time he returned my mother had already carried the already fading Springmur to the nursing area of the home and started examining it with me assisting.

    After some time of poking and padding and bandaging we concluded that the Springmur was not only injured but also malnourished. I bonded with her as she healed and fed her diligently everyday, for you see I had always wanted a Springmur but since my parents needed me so badly on the ranch I had never set out on the traditional journey that most 10 year olds would start up and had never received my starter pokemon. But if I had I would certainly have picked the furry little grass pokemon, not that the other choices where not tempting but something about a Springmur's carefree attitude and witty face makes me melt a little inside.

    I force myself back from my daydream and march down the old wood steps to the living room/kitchen of the house where to my surprise I do not find my father saving away at his pokemon behavioral studies has he usually would be this close to the annual meet and greet at the pokemon research facility that is home to Professor Maple, the great mind that cares for the starter pokemon and in fact all the pokemon of Korei with her studies. I trot around curiously looking about the large but stilled overly filled room, the bookshelves are crammed full of pokemon encyclopedias and research papers. The two small work tables that are sitting right next to the bookcases are just as full of sample jars and post-it notes atop papers and study theories. A sample jar stands out from the rest as it sits on my father's chair, glinting the in sun. I get closer to the glass and press my nose against it, it contains a large amount of fibrous white stuff that almost looks like paper. This must be the last shedding sample from Thomas, my father's pride and joy. You see Thomas is a Crusshar, a large serpentine pokemon that constricts its prey rather then poison it like its fellow snake pokemon. What makes Thomas rather unique is that eh has officially grown to record lengths and is now just over 10 meters long and strong as a dozen angry Tauros. His massive body mass has downsides however, Thomas has to eat the equivalent of his massive weight at each meal. Which thankfully for my father and the herbivore species around the world, is only once every few months.

    The front door creeks open behind me, I turn around expecting my mother barging in to check if Shana's waking techniques were successful. But instead I am greeted with a man's scruffy face peeking in the doorway. His blueish black hair looks exactly like mine at the moment, long and frizzy.This young man poking around at my door is none other then my big brother Alec who has been until recently travelling all around Hoenn on the behalf of Professor Maple, his mentor and boss. I yip with joy and run to him, he has been gone for the greater part of 8 years and I have greatly missed him. Postcards can only do so much for someone as attached to her family as me.

    I will write the rest of this as it comes to me but thank goodness I am getting my Internet connected this Tuesday so updates should be alot more regular from then on. Now excuse me I am still at the office, 30 minutes after I was supposed to have left :D

    PS: I did not have time to spellcheck this so I am sorry for any typos that slipped through, which I am sure there are many of.
  10. Sir Red

    Sir Red Charms' Caped Crusader

    Good stuff, I like the snake pokemon Crusshar. I assume that it's name is a play on the word crusher, as in it crushes it's opponent. I'm interested to see where this goes.
  11. Aww...Springmur reminds me of a lemur, if I may state the obvious.

    Shana is quite an interesting Pokemon. I have a feeling that when she's really trying to wake someone up, she does more than muss up hair.

    Crusshar...is that sort of like an Onix?
  12. Varies in size, but Thomas is like a fleshy onix yeah.
  13. That certainly brings an interesting picture to mind. For some reason, I see an overweight Onix now. But ignore that. It's just random.

    Are you going to sprite it sometime? It could give us a good idea of what it looks like
    #13 Secad MS, Jun 24, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2014
  14. I have a sketch of it somewhere now that im more established at home Ill get back to some personal spriting pretty soon.
  15. Part 3 - Return

    I jump around childishly, circling my brother with my long arms. He smells of firewood and berries, his cheeks are scruffy and dark with an unkept beard. I hold him tight for a bit more before he pulls away from me and looks at me with those clear blue eyes of his.

    "My my little sis, you have grown! You are well past mum's head now! Almost as high as dad I reckon."

    "Now now Alec." my father says as he shuffles past him in the now crowded doorway. The morning sun is dancing in his glasses making him look even more joyful. "I doubt she can me as tall as her old man. Though probably alot nicer to look at."

    My father brushes off the sheets of lined paper from his chair and settles down in it, me and my brother rush to him and as when we were much younger sit on the carpet right in front of him. My mother walks into the house and closes the wood door behind her. Her work apron is already all creased from the morning bustling. Her smile is as wide as I have ever seen it, she looks so beautiful and youthful right now.

    "Now that the long overdue greeting and hugging is done, I believe Alec has a bit of an announcement to make. Go ahead son."

    Alec gets up hastily, his face flush for some reason and almost falling over, blurts out:

    "Mom, Dad, Sis, I have met someone during my journey to Hoenn. And well she and I have decided to get married!"

    Alec's pale cheeks burned a vivid crimson as my mom squealed and I just gawked. My big bro was getting married? From him that was right about the least expected thing ever. You see my brother was always so buried in his work that he hardly had time for social events. And well I had expected him to be overwhelmingly busy during his long trip to Hoenn.

    As he explained to us a little later, once my mother had stopped squawking like a hyperactive Chatot, he had met the lucky lady during his exploration of the big woodlands near Fortree city. Her name was Callie and she was a Pokemon Watcher, a job not unlike what my brother was becoming. He attempted describing her but kept fumbling his words and double backing himself, so we concluded she was indeed gorgeous.

    "And of course there is the issue of my work for the professor." Alec said with a bit of pride. He then set a pair of twinkling eyes on me and grinned. I just titled my head, wondering what ever could he mean.

    " I would like Rachel to succeed me in my work for professor Maple."

    My jaw just fell of its hinges. I felt a burning redness creeping up to my cheeks and forehead. Could he really mean that? Would I finally be able to go off on my own adventure and at last after 4 long years be able to do every child's dream?

    "Professor Maple wants to see you first thing tomorrow little sister!" Alec says with a great big grin on his face and his contagious pride splashing over to my beaming parents.
  16. That night I am running around, still overhyped by the news and the adventure awaiting me tomorrow, im fiddling with my backpack, rustling through my books and notes that I decided to bring with me. I simply can't stand still. My mother eventually shoos me off to my room to get some well needed rest. The train from Ayla village to Morningsun town was early tommorow morning and my mom tells me I should be at my best to impress professor Maple when i arrive to the island town.

    I lie down with my eyes wide open, unable to stop the rush of thoughts in my head. What if the professor is really really strict and my natural hard head wins out over my dedicated working self? what if I soemhow arrive late? Would she want of a kid who cant show up on time? the thoughts and worries scurry about in my head, the angst and exitement is hard to contain. As I toss and turn, I hear a small scratching noise to my right. I sit up and look around in the creeping darkness. The noise comes again, more pronounced this time. I slip out from under my blankets, feet against the hardwood floor of my room, making the boards creak a little. The scratching is accompanied by a small highpitch whine, and with that sad little sound I know what this is all about. Pulling apart my curtain a bit I see a big pair of fluffy ears framing Kina's adorable face, her big round eyes shine in the dark.

    "I guess i am not the only who can't sleep tonight." i whisper to myself.

    Kina does this rarely, usually in winter when she cant stand the stronger winds from the treetop she likes to sleep in. but tonight its diffrent, she looks happy and restless, probably close to what I am feeling on the eve of out great trip. I open up my window and lower myself down into a bowing position. Kina sees my shoulder and dashes quickly for it, i think she finds it a nice warm perch no matter how cold it is.

    "Murrr..." she purrs in my ear her nose rubbing against my cheek. I close up the window and draw the curtain again, my back slightly bowed to give Kina so room for her considerably large feet. he tail is curled up against my back, swinging like a pendulum to keep herself balanced. i sit down on my bed, rubbing her right behind the ear where I know she likes it best. The large flat leaf cresting up from her forehead shakes a bit, realeasing a nice spicy smell in the air.

    "Tommorow is our big day Kina, our first time out on the road..." I say to her softy, making sure to not make too much noise to wake up my exhausted brother and parents who are sleeping in the rooms framing mine. She rubs her leafy head against my cheek, giving me a good whiff of that leaf, a smell not unlike cinnamon. the smell always percs me up, which im quite sure she knows.

    "I couldnt ask for a better partner for this trip, your gonna love being on the move, all the berries you can eat and all the space you can ever need."

    "Spring?" she calls at me hungrily.

    "Yeah, and even some berries you have never tasted before." I can feel her ears shoot up at this, brising the green tips against my head. I lower my shoulder to the bed and Kina gets off me, pawing at the soft bed with her almost human like hands. "You and me are gonna go and get ourselves some badges little Kina, a pokemon fight with some strangers will be odd at first but I'm sure we will prevail."

    "Mur!" she calls out softly, swishing her tail from left to right quickly, she then pumps her fists up into the air rhythmically. "Mur! Mur!"

    I giggle madly at this display of pride. "How can we loose with your mad ninja skills?" i pet Kina along her back, loving the incredibly soft fur she has as I usually do. She purrs at this and curls up in a ball, her large poofy tail curling around her like a blanket. i lie down and curve my body around her.

    "We are gonna show everyone how..." I yawn, sleep finally overcoming me. "awesome you can be..."

    I drift off along with my springy little Springmur, dreaming of crazy and wild adventures that would probably not happen to any kid trainer like me but are still great fun to dream about.
  17. Yay! *tackle-glomps Jeydis* You updated!

    Marriage, professoral (is that the right word?) duties, and a new training journey? You've got your hands full on this one, Springmur and Co. Let's see what wild adventures you can come up with, Jey!
  18. Im glad I have a reader in you Secad :p yeah im really not sure about the wedding yet >< but I couldnt think of much else to make Alec stop his wanderings

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