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Feedback for OC

Discussion in 'Creative Discussion' started by Pokesaurus, Aug 30, 2020.

  1. Hi,
    I've been working on a character for a Pokemon FanFiction, but I was hoping I could get some advice and feedback for him.

    Name: Arthur (having trouble coming up with a surname for him. For some reason I came up with Pennup but I don't think I should use it)
    Gender: Male
    Hometown: Lavaridge Town
    Age: 10
    Height: 51 inches
    Weight: 70.4 lbs
    Hair: light blue
    Eyes: light green
    Clothing: Brown hat, blue jeans, green shirt, orange vest, brown boots
    Identifying Marks: none
    Personality: Right now kind of distant. He does have a caring heart and will try to help others he can.
    Past: Arthur was the son of a Pokemon Ranger in the Hoenn region. His father taught Arthur to love Pokemon as well as how to navigate the wilderness. However, one day his father was killed while doing his job, and his mother moved to Twinleaf Town to try and ease the pain of the loss.
    Family: Gwen (mother)
    Love Relationships?: None right now
    Pokémon: Species, Nickname, Gender, Ability, Hidden Power, Special Features, History/Personality, etc (Note: I can't recall every detail about these Pokemon but I'll post the teams I was going to have him have in each region)
    1. Torterra
    2. Luxray
    3. Staraptor
    4. Gastrodon
    5. Magmortar
    6. Lucario

    1. Greninja
    2. Crobat
    3. Venusaur
    4. Heliolisk
    5. Tyrantrum
    6. Aegislash

    1. Decidueye
    2. Salazzle
    3. Hawlucha
    4. Snorlax
    5. Mudsdale
    6. Vikavolt

    1. Typhlosion
    2. Pidgeot
    3. Machamp
    4. Ampharos
    5. Kadabra
    6. Lapras

    1. Pikachu
    2. Butterfree
    3. Charizard
    4. Blastoise
    5. Haunter
    6. Nidoking

    1. Inteleon
    2. Corviknight
    3. Centiskorch
    4. Roserade
    5. Mamoswine
    6. Galarian Rapidash

    I have been thinking maybe I shouldn't plan out teams so far in advance (hence no Hoenn or Unova). Anyway, I was trying to make it that Arthur was making himself apathetic and unable to connect with others when he encountered a Turtwig that had run away from Professor Rowan. To make a long story short I was trying to have that the purpose of his Sinnoh journey was to help him learn to reconnect with others as a way to heal the pain in his heart.

    So, any tips on how I can make Arthur better?
  2. Well, the trope of having a parent die gets a bit repetitive. If you can pull off an exceptionally good 'performance' on the Role Play forums, you could probably get away with it.

    I don't really think you should be planning so much teams beforehand, try sticking to the region your character adventured in the most be the basis for your team.

    The colours for his clothing feel a bit out of the ordinary, maybe stick to matching colours (orange and green clash, brown doesn't have any charm).

    These are just critiques.
  3. Well, I did look back at the chapter I wrote, and long story short I was no longer happy with it. I think I might need to rethink his background.

    Yeah, maybe that'll be a good idea.

    Sorry, choosing appropriate color schemes are not my forte.
    Your-Friday-Filet likes this.

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