“So you knew,” Bruce said, sitting across from Oswald in front of a crackling hearth.
“I called you a bat-man at the zoo, didn’t I?” Oswald chuckled.
“I thought it was a joke,” Bruce responded.
“That’s what you were supposed to think,” Oswald nodded, “I wanted our relationship to stay the same, but I knew who you were. I mean, whenever you disappear, the Batman shows up.”
“I figured it was only a matter of time before someone figured that out,” Bruce sighed.
“Now, considering you are the Batman, I’m willing to say that you know about what I did in my time away,” Oswald said, looking at the floor.
“You’re a murderer,” Bruce said.
“So are you,” Oswald shot back.
“I have never killed. I hold true to that rule. If I ever did, it would be in the name of justice. You killed to further your criminal empire.”
“I came back here because I wanted to start over. I wanted to become a hero like you. Think about it. Penguins are birds just like Robins. Except they can’t fly. But you and I- we’d be a great team. The Batman and the Penguin.”
“No. I’m not working with you.”
“We still hung out even after you learned about my other job,” Oswald said, “So why’s it different now?”
“Because now I don’t have to hide the fact that I know,” Bruce answered, “I can’t work with a monster.”
“Take a look at this city, Bruce,” Oswald said, pointing to the massive TV opposite the fireplace, “You’re a monster too.”
Tony Mathin was reporting for GTV6.
“Reports that the Batman, who was recently apprehended by Commissioner Gordon, has broken out of jail with another criminal. This begs the question, is Batman really the hero that some people see him as? We’ll keep you posted. Now onto James Tynion, who is at the Gotham Jail now.”
“Thanks, Tony. As of now, Commissioner Gordon has not comm- oh, hold on. Here he comes.”
The camera turned, and showed Jim Gordon walking up to a podium to give a statement.
“As many of you know, the criminal known as Batman has escaped from custody earlier today. Now, we realize just how crooked this freak is. So effective immediately, the GCPD is altering the terms of the warrant out for Batman. He’s now wanted… dead or alive.”
“Shit,” Bruce breathed.
“You might want me to have your back,” Oswald shrugged.
Deep down, there was some part of Bruce that didn’t trust Oswald. Could he really have changed? But the rest of Bruce truly wanted to work with his childhood friend.
“Under one condition,” Bruce said.
“And what’s that?”
“Tell me who Leo is,” Bruce stated, “From your final transaction.”
“He was the head of another mafia over in Europe. He paid me in order to inherit my empire after I left.”
“So now there’s someone running both your mob and his mob combined? And you don’t think he’s dangerous?”
“I know he’s dangerous. But that’s Italy’s problem,” Oswald said, “I’m back in the U.S. of A!”
“Don’t think I like this Oswald,” Bruce started, “But-”
“Sweet!” Oswald beamed.
“I didn’t say-”
“You didn’t have to,” Oswald smiled, standing up.
Bruce stood up, and shook Oswald’s hand.
“So, can I see the Batcave?” Oswald asked, hopefully.
“Hell no.”
Henry Locke walked into the QuikTrip with his gray hoodie pulled down over his eyes.
“Can I help you, sir?” the elderly man sitting at the front asked.
“The money. Give it to me,” Henry ordered.
“Son, I think you’d better leave,” the elderly man warned.
“Empty the register,” Henry said, pulling a Glock out from his waistband. He aimed it at the elderly man.
“Son, if you want to get through this without breaking any bones, you should leave right now,” the elderly man repeated.
“And why’s that, old man?” Henry sneered.
“Because I decided to take my potty break here,” came a voice. Henry whipped around to see a tall man in a penguin mask. The Penguin was holding a rectangular white gun with glowing blue veins running along it.
“Who are you?” Henry asked, getting nervous. His hand was shaking, and his aim grew unsteady.
“I’m the Penguin,” Penguin grinned, “Haven’t you heard?”
Henry gulped, and shook his head.
“Oh yeah. Forgot. Guess I’m a newbie.”
The end of the gun glowed light blue, and ice blasted out. It smashed into Henry’s chest, sending him flying into the counter. His chest was frozen solid, and he gasped for air.
Then, Batman swooped over from out of nowhere. He slammed his fist down on Henry’s chest, shattering the ice. And also possibly a few ribs. Batman pulled Henry up by his hood.
“Let me go!” Henry sobbed. Batman grunted, and dropped Henry. Henry sprinted away.
“How’d I do?” Penguin asked, grabbing a bag of chips off of a shelf.
“Try not freezing their heart next time,” Batman said, grabbing a bag as well.
The elderly man beamed.
“I’m such a big fan, Batman,” the man smiled, “Those chips are on me! It’s the least I can do.”
Feeling happy, Batman offered the man something.
“How would you like to use my grapple gun?” Batman asked.
The man stumbled back, and almost fainted. He then nodded rapidly.
Trevor Koch pulled out his switchblade, and advanced on the teenage girl, grinning evilly.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” came a voice. Penguin.
“Who are you supposed to be?” Trevor asked, indignantly.
“The last guy who asked me that ended up with a frozen heart.”
“Do your worst,” Trevor sneered, swaggering towards Penguin.
“You don’t wanna do that, sport,” Penguin said, “You could just walk away now.”
“No chance,” Trevor said.
Penguin shrugged, and aimed his cold gun at Trevor. A beam of ice hit Trevor’s knife wielding hand. Trevor shrieked when he saw his frozen hand.
“What did you do?” Trevor screamed.
“Oh relax. It’ll thaw eventually,” Penguin laughed.
“But I’ll- I’ll get frostbite! Or something!”
“You’ll get a lot worse if you don’t leave now.”
Trevor ran away.
“Thank you,” the girl said between sobs.
“No problem,” Penguin said, helping her up.
“Who are you? And please don’t freeze my heart.”
“I won’t. I just freeze bastards. Whoops. Sorry. Bad word. I’m Penguin.”
“Penguin. Thank you.”
“Hey Batman, did I do it better?” Penguin called out. Batman emerged from the shadows, and nodded.
“You’re working with Batman? But isn’t he a bad guy now?” the girl asked.
“Technically, yes. But we’re just trying to help this city,” Oswald said.
“Let’s go. There’s more to do,” Batman instructed.
Batman and Penguin peered over the side of a building. Down below, in an alley, three gang members were waiting by a truck, armed with assault rifles.
“This stuff goes on every night?” Penguin asked.
“Not every night. But a lot of them,” Batman said, “It’s Gotham.”
Suddenly, another car pulled up to the entryway of the alley. A man dressed in a suit walked over to the gang members. No one accompanied him.
“Is that-?”
Batman nodded.
“But I was just at his party a few weeks ago,” Penguin said.
“Carmine Falcone is a crooked man,” Batman said, “We just need to catch him red-handed.”
“Or blue-handed,” Penguin suggested.
“What?”
“You know, because we freeze his hand. While he’s holding something incriminating. I don’t know.”
Batman sighed, and shook his head.
“So, do we just jump?” Penguin asked.
“Do you want to break something?” Batman asked back. Penguin shook his head.
Down below, Carmine held out a briefcase. One of the gang members took it, and opened it. There were wads of hundred dollar bills. The gang member grinned, and nodded. Another member handed Carmine a small vial of a black liquid.
“What’s that?”
“I don’t know,” Batman admitted, “Stay here, and be ready to fire.”
Penguin nodded. Batman pulled out three Batarangs, and flung them at the gang members. Then, he leapt off the building, and grabbed Carmine’s neck.
“What’s the liquid, Falcone?” Batman demanded.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Carmine grinned.
“Tell me,” Batman growled, putting a Batarang to Carmine’s throat..
“Oh. You spooked me. I almost dropped this. You wouldn’t want that. Believe me.”
“That’s what I needed,” Batman grinned. This liquid was definitely dangerous, and therefore incriminating. He turned and nodded at Penguin. Penguin froze Carmine’s hand with the vial.
“Penny-One, contact the police. Tell them to go to the alley between Hartley’s and Conker’s Parlor. I have a gift for them.”
“Of course, Batman,” Penny-One said through the comms.
“Let’s go, Penguin,” Batman said. He kicked Carmine in the nose, knocking him out.
Batman and Penguin sat atop Wayne Manor. Penguin was eating a donut while Batman rested against the roof.
“So, should we turn in?” Penguin asked, “Because I’m tired.”
“Sure,” Batman agreed.
“I don’t know how you do this all night then show up for work in the morning,” Penguin sighed.
“I don’t show up. I work from home most of the time. Lucius runs things at Wayne Tower.”
“Lucky bastard,” Penguin scoffed, finishing off his donut.
“Lucky me,” Batman nodded.
“Well, I guess I’ll just head home since you won’t let me into your precious Batcave,” Penguin said, “And I’ll try to hide my stuff somewhere.”
“Maybe one day I’ll let you into the Batcave. Not today.”
“Alright,” Penguin said, “Now can you help me down from the roof?”
Batman shot a cable to the ground, and Penguin slid down it. He then hopped in his car, and drove off.
Bruce Wayne sat with Alfred Pennyworth in front of the fireplace where he had sat with Oswald earlier that day. Bruce turned on the news, eager to see if news of his and Oswald’s escapades had reached the media yet. Sure enough, there was a report on Carmine Falcone’s arrest. James Tynion was reporting.
“Carmine Falcone has been released, after a quick test revealed the black liquid in his possession to simply be alcohol. Commissioner Gordon has expressed his displeasure towards the Batman, and his alleged new partner Penguin, for trying to frame Carmine Falcone for possessing drugs. This leads us to our next story? Who is the Penguin? Carmine Falcone confessed that Batman was working with a man who he called the Penguin. The Penguin froze his hand. Does the Penguin have supernatural powers? We’ll keep you posted.”
“Great. I try to do the GCPD a favor and it blows up in my face.”
“Perhaps one day Gordon will move past this,” Alfred suggested.
“Alfred, he blames me for Barbara’s death. He’s not moving past this,” Bruce sighed.
“I suppose you’re right,” Alfred nodded.
“I guess I need to get used to the fact that the police are going to be at my throat from now on.”
“I suppose so,” Alfred said.
Suddenly, Bruce’s phone rang. It was Lucius Fox. Bruce picked it up.
“Bruce? There’s an emergency.”
“What?”
“Someone has stolen very dangerous tech from R&D.”
“Who? Do we know?”
“I’m afraid not,” Lucius said.
“I’ll be there soon.”
Alfred and Bruce shared a knowing look.
“I feel like this might turn into a job for the Batman…”
“Perhaps so,” Bruce agreed.
“I called you a bat-man at the zoo, didn’t I?” Oswald chuckled.
“I thought it was a joke,” Bruce responded.
“That’s what you were supposed to think,” Oswald nodded, “I wanted our relationship to stay the same, but I knew who you were. I mean, whenever you disappear, the Batman shows up.”
“I figured it was only a matter of time before someone figured that out,” Bruce sighed.
“Now, considering you are the Batman, I’m willing to say that you know about what I did in my time away,” Oswald said, looking at the floor.
“You’re a murderer,” Bruce said.
“So are you,” Oswald shot back.
“I have never killed. I hold true to that rule. If I ever did, it would be in the name of justice. You killed to further your criminal empire.”
“I came back here because I wanted to start over. I wanted to become a hero like you. Think about it. Penguins are birds just like Robins. Except they can’t fly. But you and I- we’d be a great team. The Batman and the Penguin.”
“No. I’m not working with you.”
“We still hung out even after you learned about my other job,” Oswald said, “So why’s it different now?”
“Because now I don’t have to hide the fact that I know,” Bruce answered, “I can’t work with a monster.”
“Take a look at this city, Bruce,” Oswald said, pointing to the massive TV opposite the fireplace, “You’re a monster too.”
Tony Mathin was reporting for GTV6.
“Reports that the Batman, who was recently apprehended by Commissioner Gordon, has broken out of jail with another criminal. This begs the question, is Batman really the hero that some people see him as? We’ll keep you posted. Now onto James Tynion, who is at the Gotham Jail now.”
“Thanks, Tony. As of now, Commissioner Gordon has not comm- oh, hold on. Here he comes.”
The camera turned, and showed Jim Gordon walking up to a podium to give a statement.
“As many of you know, the criminal known as Batman has escaped from custody earlier today. Now, we realize just how crooked this freak is. So effective immediately, the GCPD is altering the terms of the warrant out for Batman. He’s now wanted… dead or alive.”
“Shit,” Bruce breathed.
“You might want me to have your back,” Oswald shrugged.
Deep down, there was some part of Bruce that didn’t trust Oswald. Could he really have changed? But the rest of Bruce truly wanted to work with his childhood friend.
“Under one condition,” Bruce said.
“And what’s that?”
“Tell me who Leo is,” Bruce stated, “From your final transaction.”
“He was the head of another mafia over in Europe. He paid me in order to inherit my empire after I left.”
“So now there’s someone running both your mob and his mob combined? And you don’t think he’s dangerous?”
“I know he’s dangerous. But that’s Italy’s problem,” Oswald said, “I’m back in the U.S. of A!”
“Don’t think I like this Oswald,” Bruce started, “But-”
“Sweet!” Oswald beamed.
“I didn’t say-”
“You didn’t have to,” Oswald smiled, standing up.
Bruce stood up, and shook Oswald’s hand.
“So, can I see the Batcave?” Oswald asked, hopefully.
“Hell no.”
Henry Locke walked into the QuikTrip with his gray hoodie pulled down over his eyes.
“Can I help you, sir?” the elderly man sitting at the front asked.
“The money. Give it to me,” Henry ordered.
“Son, I think you’d better leave,” the elderly man warned.
“Empty the register,” Henry said, pulling a Glock out from his waistband. He aimed it at the elderly man.
“Son, if you want to get through this without breaking any bones, you should leave right now,” the elderly man repeated.
“And why’s that, old man?” Henry sneered.
“Because I decided to take my potty break here,” came a voice. Henry whipped around to see a tall man in a penguin mask. The Penguin was holding a rectangular white gun with glowing blue veins running along it.
“Who are you?” Henry asked, getting nervous. His hand was shaking, and his aim grew unsteady.
“I’m the Penguin,” Penguin grinned, “Haven’t you heard?”
Henry gulped, and shook his head.
“Oh yeah. Forgot. Guess I’m a newbie.”
The end of the gun glowed light blue, and ice blasted out. It smashed into Henry’s chest, sending him flying into the counter. His chest was frozen solid, and he gasped for air.
Then, Batman swooped over from out of nowhere. He slammed his fist down on Henry’s chest, shattering the ice. And also possibly a few ribs. Batman pulled Henry up by his hood.
“Let me go!” Henry sobbed. Batman grunted, and dropped Henry. Henry sprinted away.
“How’d I do?” Penguin asked, grabbing a bag of chips off of a shelf.
“Try not freezing their heart next time,” Batman said, grabbing a bag as well.
The elderly man beamed.
“I’m such a big fan, Batman,” the man smiled, “Those chips are on me! It’s the least I can do.”
Feeling happy, Batman offered the man something.
“How would you like to use my grapple gun?” Batman asked.
The man stumbled back, and almost fainted. He then nodded rapidly.
Trevor Koch pulled out his switchblade, and advanced on the teenage girl, grinning evilly.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” came a voice. Penguin.
“Who are you supposed to be?” Trevor asked, indignantly.
“The last guy who asked me that ended up with a frozen heart.”
“Do your worst,” Trevor sneered, swaggering towards Penguin.
“You don’t wanna do that, sport,” Penguin said, “You could just walk away now.”
“No chance,” Trevor said.
Penguin shrugged, and aimed his cold gun at Trevor. A beam of ice hit Trevor’s knife wielding hand. Trevor shrieked when he saw his frozen hand.
“What did you do?” Trevor screamed.
“Oh relax. It’ll thaw eventually,” Penguin laughed.
“But I’ll- I’ll get frostbite! Or something!”
“You’ll get a lot worse if you don’t leave now.”
Trevor ran away.
“Thank you,” the girl said between sobs.
“No problem,” Penguin said, helping her up.
“Who are you? And please don’t freeze my heart.”
“I won’t. I just freeze bastards. Whoops. Sorry. Bad word. I’m Penguin.”
“Penguin. Thank you.”
“Hey Batman, did I do it better?” Penguin called out. Batman emerged from the shadows, and nodded.
“You’re working with Batman? But isn’t he a bad guy now?” the girl asked.
“Technically, yes. But we’re just trying to help this city,” Oswald said.
“Let’s go. There’s more to do,” Batman instructed.
Batman and Penguin peered over the side of a building. Down below, in an alley, three gang members were waiting by a truck, armed with assault rifles.
“This stuff goes on every night?” Penguin asked.
“Not every night. But a lot of them,” Batman said, “It’s Gotham.”
Suddenly, another car pulled up to the entryway of the alley. A man dressed in a suit walked over to the gang members. No one accompanied him.
“Is that-?”
Batman nodded.
“But I was just at his party a few weeks ago,” Penguin said.
“Carmine Falcone is a crooked man,” Batman said, “We just need to catch him red-handed.”
“Or blue-handed,” Penguin suggested.
“What?”
“You know, because we freeze his hand. While he’s holding something incriminating. I don’t know.”
Batman sighed, and shook his head.
“So, do we just jump?” Penguin asked.
“Do you want to break something?” Batman asked back. Penguin shook his head.
Down below, Carmine held out a briefcase. One of the gang members took it, and opened it. There were wads of hundred dollar bills. The gang member grinned, and nodded. Another member handed Carmine a small vial of a black liquid.
“What’s that?”
“I don’t know,” Batman admitted, “Stay here, and be ready to fire.”
Penguin nodded. Batman pulled out three Batarangs, and flung them at the gang members. Then, he leapt off the building, and grabbed Carmine’s neck.
“What’s the liquid, Falcone?” Batman demanded.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Carmine grinned.
“Tell me,” Batman growled, putting a Batarang to Carmine’s throat..
“Oh. You spooked me. I almost dropped this. You wouldn’t want that. Believe me.”
“That’s what I needed,” Batman grinned. This liquid was definitely dangerous, and therefore incriminating. He turned and nodded at Penguin. Penguin froze Carmine’s hand with the vial.
“Penny-One, contact the police. Tell them to go to the alley between Hartley’s and Conker’s Parlor. I have a gift for them.”
“Of course, Batman,” Penny-One said through the comms.
“Let’s go, Penguin,” Batman said. He kicked Carmine in the nose, knocking him out.
Batman and Penguin sat atop Wayne Manor. Penguin was eating a donut while Batman rested against the roof.
“So, should we turn in?” Penguin asked, “Because I’m tired.”
“Sure,” Batman agreed.
“I don’t know how you do this all night then show up for work in the morning,” Penguin sighed.
“I don’t show up. I work from home most of the time. Lucius runs things at Wayne Tower.”
“Lucky bastard,” Penguin scoffed, finishing off his donut.
“Lucky me,” Batman nodded.
“Well, I guess I’ll just head home since you won’t let me into your precious Batcave,” Penguin said, “And I’ll try to hide my stuff somewhere.”
“Maybe one day I’ll let you into the Batcave. Not today.”
“Alright,” Penguin said, “Now can you help me down from the roof?”
Batman shot a cable to the ground, and Penguin slid down it. He then hopped in his car, and drove off.
Bruce Wayne sat with Alfred Pennyworth in front of the fireplace where he had sat with Oswald earlier that day. Bruce turned on the news, eager to see if news of his and Oswald’s escapades had reached the media yet. Sure enough, there was a report on Carmine Falcone’s arrest. James Tynion was reporting.
“Carmine Falcone has been released, after a quick test revealed the black liquid in his possession to simply be alcohol. Commissioner Gordon has expressed his displeasure towards the Batman, and his alleged new partner Penguin, for trying to frame Carmine Falcone for possessing drugs. This leads us to our next story? Who is the Penguin? Carmine Falcone confessed that Batman was working with a man who he called the Penguin. The Penguin froze his hand. Does the Penguin have supernatural powers? We’ll keep you posted.”
“Great. I try to do the GCPD a favor and it blows up in my face.”
“Perhaps one day Gordon will move past this,” Alfred suggested.
“Alfred, he blames me for Barbara’s death. He’s not moving past this,” Bruce sighed.
“I suppose you’re right,” Alfred nodded.
“I guess I need to get used to the fact that the police are going to be at my throat from now on.”
“I suppose so,” Alfred said.
Suddenly, Bruce’s phone rang. It was Lucius Fox. Bruce picked it up.
“Bruce? There’s an emergency.”
“What?”
“Someone has stolen very dangerous tech from R&D.”
“Who? Do we know?”
“I’m afraid not,” Lucius said.
“I’ll be there soon.”
Alfred and Bruce shared a knowing look.
“I feel like this might turn into a job for the Batman…”
“Perhaps so,” Bruce agreed.