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10 Episodes: Episode 4

by E.K.A.N.S.

E.K.A.N.S. Previously, Seb and Gabe got into another fight. Now they must come together to defeat the diabolical Christopher Hamburglar who terrorizes the skies of Lumiose City!
"Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I mean, the fact that the perp didn't leave Lumiose City gives us a chance to catch him, but staying to attack Prism Tower is just... dumb," Seb commented, staring up at the criminal from Centrico Plaza. "What's he really after, anyway?"

The villain's Charizard was circling the Lumiose Gym, shelling it with bursts of fire and evolving from a thief into a full-blown terrorist. Maybe he was looking to take out the Leader, the people's symbol of hope and primary recourse in situations like this. But the ones who'd levitate up the tower and rise to the occasion were right beside them.

"Who cares? Let's kick his ass," Gabe answered. "I'll get you up there with telekinesis."

"You know I'm scared of heights! Just warp me there instead of doing it the slow way and giving me a panic attack!" Seb protested.

"Heh. That's totally what I was gonna do," the Gardevoir admitted with a smirk. "Aight then, time for Teleport."

The Pokémon and trainer vanished into thin air, revealing themselves seconds later in the enemy's line of fire. They'd disappeared with the kind of flash and zoom that turned off a television, but the show was just beginning. Seb was dodging fireballs and scrambling for purchase at the same time, the plunge below and the flames ahead leaving him no safe place to look. Thankfully his lithe movements would save him from death, unlike his blood-curdling voice, which ensured that of anyone who listened. The boy played as many instruments as he could, taught himself how to dance, and maximized his stage presence to compensate for his lacking vocals, and it was paying off now.

Suddenly the fiery barrage stopped, and the beating wings of an idling Charizard filled the air.

"Well, well, well. Who might you be? An extreme stuntman for an action movie, or a small child who's come to entertain me personally?" the thief asked with a sly smile, the only thing that shone on his crudely shaved, neglected face. That might've been an overstatement, since his teeth were yellow... and his bloodshot eyes were widened as if fighting off his encroaching unibrow. The most disgusting thing about him, though, was his gigantic, thrusting belly weighing down on the Pokémon carrying him.

"Whoa, what the fuck? Is that Charizard panting?" Gabe asked in disbelief. "We thought you just stole paintings, but I can't even fathom how much cake you've swiped from the fridge."

"Gabe! I told you not to curse!" Seb hissed.

"I'm a fully evolved adult now, so deal with it," the Gardevoir retorted, then addressed the criminal. "...But nowhere near as big as that guy. You sure you wanna start shit? Your fire lizard looks like it'll collapse any moment now."

"Ha! Such childish arrogance!" the man laughed. "I was once the Gym Leader here, but the city dismissed me and cut off my source of income right as my wife needed treatment! I did whatever I could to cover the insane medical costs, but she eventually succumbed to her illness! I've hated Lumiose and plotted its destruction ever since, starting with its most cherished buildings!"

"And what exactly does that have to do with anything?" wondered Gabe, bored out of his mind.

"It MEANS that I was once an accomplished trainer and possess more than enough strength to crush you!"

"No shit. If you sat on me, there'd be nothing left."

"Gabe, that's messed up," Seb disapproved. "Besides, I'm more worried about his sanity. Like, is he even questioning the fact that you're a talking Pokémon?"

"Nope. He's totally off his rocker, not that any chair could hold him in the first place," the Gardevoir quipped.

"Silence! You are facing the great and powerful ex-Gym Leader, Christopher Hamburglar! I shall not be disrespected!"

Seb and Gabe weren't ready for his ridiculous name, instantly cracking up at the introduction. They would've been on the floor, but from this high up, they'd only roll off the tower summit and die of laughter, literally. So the two instead plunged into the heat of battle and prepared themselves for Charizard's next wave of attacks.

But the Flying-type didn't strike with the same short bursts it had before, spitting a constant stream of fire in their direction.

"Hey Seb, we need to stop those flames from hitting the beams! They can melt anything!" Gabe shouted.

"Huh? Where'd you hear that? I've never even held my Pokédex in front of a Charizard."

"Just trust me! I heard it on TV!"

"Real convincing..." Seb muttered in resignation. Despite the lack of persuasion, he'd do as Gabe said and avoid taking chances. If the tower caved under them, it wouldn't matter if they dodged. "Fine! Use Light Screen and weaken the approaching blast!"

The Psychic-type wasted no time. He cupped his hands and spread them diagonally apart, the corners of a glossy pane following his parting fingers and completely filling the space of his outstretched arms. He pushed the newly formed screen forward, speeding it into the Flamethrower's path and filtering the blaze into embers. The reflective square wouldn't be there forever, but he was confident that the fire would peter out as its presence tested the foe's patience and made his Charizard try something else. Fat guys weren't exactly known for their self-control.

"Feh! So my move is less effective now, is it? Sneaky brat!" he spat, confirming Gabe's thoughts. "I'll hit you directly, then! Get closer, Sriracha, and give 'em an onslaught of Shadow Claws!"

"Why am I..." Gabe started, pausing to evade the fire lizard that swirled about him, periodically swooped down, and raked him unrelentingly with sharp talons that tore dark rifts in the day's light. "Why am I not surprised that you named your Pokémon after food?"

He was keeping a level head and coolly entertaining these silly questions, but as the battle drew on, Sriracha's missed attacks became grazes, then sizable cuts, then full blows. Sebastiano knew that they couldn't dodge forever without counterattacking.

"Work some Psyshocks into there, man! Make them move around!" he commanded.

"Got it," the panting Gardevoir pithily acknowledged. His eyes glowed as they followed the circling Charizard, and he raised his arms, taut and poised to strike. Invisible psychic waves honed in on his target, showing themselves in the last second and crushing Sriracha's frame with a resounding smash. Or so his trained mind liked to think. Somehow, the Pokémon was anticipating where the Psyshocks would materialize, dipping out of the way in time and resuming its flight.

"Damn it!" cursed the Psychic-type.

"Nice attempt, but you're just a couple of kids! I'm a former League official!" Christopher taunted. "Your Gardevoir's on its last leg! Those super-effective moves ain't treating you right, are they?"

The merits of a great performer were his abilities to overcome stage fright, endure tough crowds, and remove self-doubt. Sebastiano was presently a trainer, but the same mentality applied. He stayed unbothered by Hamburglar's rodomontade and eyed him carefully, noticing his labored breath and the drops of sweat that streamed down his face. The criminal wasn't as assured as he suggested, and Gabe, however mercilessly he fat-shamed him, was onto something when he said that Charizard looked like it was about to collapse.

"HEY GABE!"

"What?!"

"USE STOMP!"

"What do you mean use Stomp?! We don't learn that-"

The Gardevoir stopped himself as he began to see what his trainer saw, no longer focusing singularly on where his next Psyshock would land and checking the opponent's condition. "Oh. So that's what's up..."

"DO IT NOW!!!"

"Heard ya loud and clear."

Gabe zipped out of the air and reappeared on Sriracha's back, dropping it like a stone. In accordance with their observations, the fire lizard had tired itself out and was struggling to stay afloat. Hamburglar rolled over like an engorged rat and gasped at the Pokémon's sudden presence.

"W-what are you doing?! Y-you're not supposed to attack humans!"

"Humans without balls," the Gardevoir corrected. "The uncaptured ones do it all the time. I'm not about to mutilate you, though. I'm just here to show you what happens when trainers get fat and lazy, making their Pokémon do all the work while growing weak themselves. You're supposed to get stronger together."

His speech was rather long for a finishing line, but the trip down was quite the distance. Sriracha fluttered its wings vigorously under the added weight before squawking in surrender and plummeting to the Lumiose City pavement. As Hamburglar's screams filled the heights of Centrico Plaza, Gabe inwardly hoped that the paintings would come out unscathed and thanked Arceus that Seb wasn't sailing with him, or his noises would obliterate the eardrums of everyone within a 20-meter radius.

But when Charizard crashed to the earth, Gardevoir disembarked, and the celebrating onlookers swarmed him, his sense of relief was cut short. He shuddered when they cheered, grinned, and blushed.

"Why are all your faces red? Don't tell me..." he considered dreadfully. "You saw under my skirt when the wind blew it up?!"

The police arrived on the scene, cuffing Hamburglar and collaring Sriracha. Before the cops led them away, however, a lone officer confronted Gabe.

"We appreciate your saving the city, so we'll only let you off with a warning," he decided, "for publicly exposing yourself."

"Wait, what?! First of all, it was unintentional. Second, doesn't everyone want to see under a Gardevoir's skirt?"

"That only applies to female Gardevoir, and you're male. No one wants to see that shit."
  1. kyuukestu
    kyuukestu
    lmao, I knew you'd understand the charm.

    I'd believe it, Sirius Crusaders was about to get locked for being too raunchy lol @E.K.A.N.S.
    Jul 27, 2020
    SageNeb and E.K.A.N.S. like this.
  2. E.K.A.N.S.
    E.K.A.N.S.
    @kyuukestu I've grown to love that picture since you first mentioned it in Episode 3. I'm lowkey considering making an even edgier fanfic with unrealistically thicc and busty characters (that's where Sirius Crusaders would've gone if that RP had continued :-O )
    Jul 27, 2020
    SageNeb and kyuukestu like this.
  3. kyuukestu
    kyuukestu
    I'm telling you, it's all about the legs.

    Gabe is just a flat, poke-version of Jessica Rabbit.
    Jul 27, 2020
    SageNeb and E.K.A.N.S. like this.
  4. SageNeb
    SageNeb
    Rip Gabe. He got caught cross dressing when it was forced on him
    Jul 21, 2020