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The Beginning Chapter 1:The Fire

by Midnight Umbreon

Midnight Umbreon This is How it Happened My Back Story (Not Real)

Characters:Midnight the Shiny Eevee,Clover and Crystal the Eevee Twins, and Shadow Midnight's Dad

Chapter 1: The Fire
Midnight:Yay let's go Guys!!! (Midnight Wearing a Blue Scarf Running up the hill)

Twins:Wait your Faster then us!!!(Both Crystal and Clover exsausted from running all day with Clover wearing her Black Bow and Crystal Whith her White Bow)

Midnight:Well I don't know why you guys keep saying the Same thing All the Time.
Twins:Ugh We Don't know!
Midnight:Right,Anyway Let's Just Hurry Back to the Village OK.
Midnight:Wait! Where's the Village!Why is their fire!What Happened!!
(The Trio made their way to the Circle shaped village with the abandoned well in the middle)
Shadow:Midnight you and your Friends must leave now!
Midnight:Why What Happened
Shadow:Its The Rebels they set the village to fire and theirs a bomb in the abandoned Well! I need to go disarm it!Look please listen to me their gonna hunt down every eevee and their evolutions so I need you to run as far away as Possible!!! All the parents are helping disactivate the bomb and the Children all evacuated!
Midnight:(Sobs) OK.Guys we need to get as far away from the village as possible!
Midnight:Just do it!!!
Twins:OK OK!

(They all ran off as far away from the Village but Shadow wasn't fast enough and the Village Exploded)

(Midnight came back to the Village)
Midnight Dad,Dad!!
(Midnight lifted up a pile of wood to find that his Father was dead with a Spear in his Head)
Midnight: Nooooooooo! (Sobs) Dad don't worry I will avenge you!:(
Twins:you okay Midnight.
Midnight:Yea at least I will have something to remember by.

(Midnight picked up his dads Emotion Charms and put it on his tail)

Midnight:Wait what about your parents.
Clover:Midnight its time we Tell you the truth.:(
Midnight:What truth?
Crystal:That we dont have parens.

(Find out more on the Next Chapter
  1. Midnight Umbreon
    Midnight Umbreon
    Thx for the advice @ _Umbreon_
    Aug 17, 2015
  2. EspeonTheBest
    Great! That made it so much more clear as to what is happening. I'm sorry if my advice wasn't very good, I actually posted my first piece of written work today...XD
    Aug 16, 2015
  3. _Umbreon_
    It's ok , but it seems to much liken movies crispy, try writings in detail.
    Aug 16, 2015
  4. Midnight Umbreon
    Midnight Umbreon
    OK I made some changes take a look now
    Aug 16, 2015
  5. Midnight Umbreon
    Midnight Umbreon
    Hey Espeon the Twins names are Crystal and Clover their in the Intro and I'm gonna work onit mire
    Aug 16, 2015
  6. Midnight Umbreon
    Midnight Umbreon
    OK to Azure I edited the Work with the details you sent me
    Aug 16, 2015
  7. EspeonTheBest
    I think this is a wonderful piece of work.

    I suggest you try to add more details on how the Characters look and are feeling. Also, what are the Twin's names? Were there any other pokemon in the village when the bomb exploded? If so, where did they go? @AzureEdge had some great advice as well. Like they said, add details, but not too much. If you look at my first written work or my second, you'll probably notice a lot more details going on than actual story line. I need to fix that. Anyways, keep up the good work! This seems like an awesome backstory!
    Aug 16, 2015
  8. AzureEdge
    Interesting concept about the rebels, I really like it.

    As for future notice in writing, I suggest there should be a bit more detail for story. What is Midnight and the others wearing? What does the village look like? Where was his father hurt? Then again, there are stories that have too much detail, you just need to get some to make the story more clear. Hope that little tid-bit of advice helped!~
    Aug 16, 2015