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Recording... 1-4-5... Testng... Testing...: Recording... 1-4-5... Testing... Testing... (Chapter One and Two)

by ThePieLord

ThePieLord A grim story about what could happen to humankind if they continue their actions towards Pokemon. Please don't read this if you are easily disturbed, or skip to the 3rd Chapter.
(Warning: The first two chapters show content that may be disturbing to someone, specifically, death and deformation.)

“Recording… month one… day one… year 2025… testing… testing…”


“I’ve been observing this weasel-like creature for a while now, and it’s actions… are unpleasant. I’m not sure if it has failed the procedure that it must endure or if this is simply the aftermath. According to the files, it’s supposed to change back to normal. But, it’s not. Instead, it’s mutating further. It’s orange exterior is largening and it’s growing more tails. Not only that, but it’s acting as if it were growing. This strikes as odd to me. It’s as if it were suddenly evolving.

But this, it’s different. This… ‘Buizel’, as they call it, isn’t correctly evolving. It’s head is where it’s neck is supposed to be, and it’s legs are proportioned awkwardly. But not only that, but I made an amazing discovery.

There’s this test that they call the Type Test. Simply put a special-made cloth into the animal’s saliva and the cloth will change color depending on it’s type. But instead of becoming blue, it instead burned into ashes, which is unlike any other typing that simply changed color.

Maybe we’ve made a new species? No, it’s impossible. I don’t think, though, this is a failure. I think we can make something out of this. This recording shall be made known. Uploading image of my discovery…”


A humble professor sat in a dark room, the recording of his discovery clicking off. He sat by a desk, but on the other side was somebody else, who looked twice his size and much more mature in age. The recording tape buzzed loudly, and an image appeared in a hologram. It showed a sideways picture of a deformed Floatzel, it’s head replacing its neck, it’s toes backwards, both of its legs were not the same length whatsoever, it’s arms were closer to its chest, and it did not have its signature raft-like structure. “So this was the result of the experiment I tasked to you?” The larger, more grown man of the two.

“Yes, boss. I think we made something special.” The other, more small man replied, clearly the scientist from the recording.

“...Was what you said about the Type Test true?”

“Of course it was! Why would I record something false and give it to you? You could easily fi--”

“Just show me it.” The boss boomed, pointing at the door. The scientist sighed and opened the door. After a few moments, he came into the room with what looked like a mobile bed, which resembled a hospital bed. There was a white cloth covering the entire body that was on the bed, as if it were dead. The boss was interested, and he scooted forwards to the scientist. Promptly, the scientist sat by the hospital bed, and grabbed one of the ends of the white cloth. “Now, may I present to you…” He then swiftly removed the cloth, “The in extremis Floatzel!”

The Floatzel described by the doctor was revealed, and the boss shriveled back instinctively, as if he knew to be afraid of it. “...Please show me the Type Test already.” He demanded. The scientist nodded and pulled out an odd cloth from his pocket. The Floatzel was still moving, clearly still alive. Not holding anything back, though, the scientist placed the cloth into the Floatzel’s mouth. Just like the recording described, the cloth burned up immediately, as if it were suddenly engulfed in flames.

“Ah… let me check something.” The boss grinned, and he pulled out a small, red machine. This machine scanned the Floatzel. The machine noted,

  • Name: No Data

  • Height: 3”7

  • Type: Water/No Data

  • Nature: Decrepit

  • Moveset: No Data, No Data, No Data, No Data
“Wow. So this isn’t even fake!” The boss exclaimed, and he got out of his chair to touch the creature. “Is it okay to touch it?”

“I haven’t touched it yet. Can’t blame me if you begin to melt.” The scientist joked, but he instantly kept his mouth shut afterwards. Cautiously, the boss stroked the creature’s fur. He began to laugh as his hand reached the creature’s oddly proportioned head and he held it’s head awkwardly, which made him laugh even more. “You’re going to be a great contribution to science!” The boss guffawed, cradling the creature as if it were a baby human.

Suddenly, the creature laughed, as if it were a joyous child. It’s laughs were as if it chuckled an unfinished “Floatzel”, leaving out the first syllable at some points, and the opposite in other times the word is giggled out of his mouth.

The boss and the scientist collectively gasped, and the boss swiftly set the creature back down. It laughed more and reached out its paw to stroke the boss’s face. “You’ll be a very creepy contribution to science.” He sighed.

~~~
(Note: The writing shown could still be possibly disturbing.)


“Recording… 1… 2…5… testing… testing…”


“Sorry if the beginning was confusing, but I finally found something great we can do with the new Floatzel we made! So, I got a Burmy and I let it sit with the Floatzel. Of course, I hid behind a glass window while I watched them play in an enclosed space, but… they didn’t exactly… play. The Floatzel seemed reluctant to play with the Burmy, but when the Burmy got too close, the Burmy was swatted away like a Mothim! But then, the Burmy seemed to change. It sounded like it was forming scared words, most that sounded like a loud No, as if it were scared. We have seen Pokemon use words through subtitled tournaments, but to hear them actually form a word was phenomenal!

Although the Burmy was unharmed, we let it go back into the wild after getting our numbers crunched. I was fascinated by this, and I let one of the volunteer members who wanted to play with it themselves to go in there and get human test variables. The Floatzel was instead, happy to go up to them, laughing just like a baby human. But… after a few moments, the volunteer began to suddenly scream and shrivel up on the ground. They screamed, and screamed… until they began to be covered in some sort of grey substance.

They had sadly, died.

Nevertheless, we continued the research for his sake. It seems that the substance created from the typing of the Floatzel improved the body systems of Pokemon, improving their organs and improving their human-like instances to make them somewhat unnaturally human. A human’s organs, though, instantly corroded at touch of this grey substance. I cannot wait to report my most recent findings!”


The scientist replayed the tape to himself several times, the new Floatzel observing from behind. It had been more secured onto the hospital bed, especially after what happened in the laboratory. “We don’t want that catastrophe happening again…” The scientist suddenly smiled, looking at the Floatzel. He wrapped something around his hand, like a protective mitten, and he himself began to stroke the creature’s fur. “...This is quite nice, even if I’m being extremely safe.” The scientist made a small joke the Floatzel didn’t quite understand.

Someone opened the door into the room the scientist resided in. “Please come to the celebration room. We have something for you. Please bring your… Floatzel, too.” The employee had asked before abruptly leaving. The scientist sighed and patted the Floatzel’s head solemnly. “Don’t worry. I’m just getting rewarded for my effort!” He grinned, which the Floatzel returned a frown rather than a smile.

Of course, the scientist didn’t notice, and he brought the creature with him into a different room not too far from his office.

The room was long, with a long table to sport. There were also plates and plastic cups filled with coffee. Though, there was also a door that lead to a stairway leading up to the top of a model machine, which was shaped like some sort of enormous engine. Once the Scientist entered, he sat down on the end of the table, and other people filtered in, while the boss sat at the opposite end of the table.

“Science… the great acts of science…” The boss hummed. “We’re going to celebrate your success, my brilliant scientist. First, a toast of delicious coffee, and your very own moment to show off to the rest of the notable staff here your achievements. What do you think?”

“I… guess it’s pretty exciting!” The scientist laughed, picking up his cup of coffee and drinking it rather swiftly. The others in the room snickered, and began to drink their cups of coffee periodically. Oddly, the room was quiet, as if they weren’t supposed to talk in this moment. But the scientist didn’t mind; he was about to be celebrated.

His creation didn’t mind being strolled behind the scientist to watch them drink out of plastic cups, or at least it seemed like it. Sometimes, it would laugh at nothing, but everytime it did, it sounded deeper and deeper. Nobody, though, responded to the odd laughing. They just kept on drinking their caffeinated water as if the room was completely silent.

But soon, all delicious coffee ends up coming to an end. The boss and the scientist stood up and left through the aforementioned door. Of course, the scientist brought his creation with him to ensure the quality of his improvised presentation, unless his boss was planning on saying everything for him.

Soon, they reached the top, standing on a huge, glorified engine. “Now, everyone had done something great as contributions to the science world, correct?” The boss asked the other people, sitting below him. “Well, another great discovery has been made! Somebody was able to create an artificial typing for a slightly altered Pokemon, and that somebody is here… right now!”

Awkwardly, the scientist strutted next to his boss, waiting for him to say something. “...So, what do you call this new type?” The boss asked.

“Well… I call it… the Yang type.” The scientist declared weakly, and the room gave a confused glance at the scientist. “I-I-I call it that because of the typing making it cure Pokemon and kill humans. We haven’t seen everything the typing can do, but with this creation, we can do so much more with Pokemon then we all have already done before.”

The crowd seemed pleased with what he said, and put their concerns to rest. With a sigh, the scientist looked back at his creation. The Floatzel had been staring at him relentlessly into his eyes, not averting any attention to anything else and not blinking whatsoever. Nevertheless, the scientist did not want to deal with his creation at the moment, due to the situation at hand.

“Was that fun at all?” The boss asked, patting the scientist’s shoulder. The scientist shrugged, and looked back at the Floatzel. The boss did the same, and when he did, he jumped back a little. The Floatzel changed its direction of sight to the boss. “Whoa… has it been doing that?” The boss asked.

“Yes, actually.” The scientist replied shakily. “But it was staring at me, not you.”

“Our greatest contribution to Science… is by far the creepiest thing I could ever imagine. Oh, the lengths we all have to go to explore the world of science…” The boss reminisced.

“Well, not everything can be done so simply.” The scientist sighed. The Floatzel started to laugh again, the boss growing more and more uncomfortable the more and more and more the creature laughed. “Is there a way to make that thing stop?”

“He.” A voice suddenly whispered. “I am a guy.”

“Er… who just whispered?” The scientist asked generally. The other employees from the crowd shook their heads, and the Floatzel laughed again, but his voice stopped wavering. Now, it was a deep, masculine voice, as if he grew to an adult in only several seconds. “I was the one who whispered.” The Floatzel spoke in an understandable dialect, no longer hindered by voice boxes or small brain sizes. He sounded human. “Eh? But… but th-there’s n-n-n-no way you could talk!” The scientist gasped.

“You act like this is a surprise. If you could really say that my typing is curing Pokemon by touch, then wouldn’t I also cure myself, sooner or later?” The Floatzel frowned.

“Well… I… I just thought that such thing wouldn’t be possible! I thought… we thought… you just gave this… organ-based cure. I can’t…” The scientist stuttered, and the Floatzel laughed.

“Now, I realized I’m more than just what you evolved me to do. Why save human lives… if I could save an entire new generation of my own kind?” The Floatzel threatened, a grin appearing on his face. The boss gasped, knowing what the small weasel creature meant. “Security!” The boss shouted frantically.

“You’re too slow… it’s already happening.” The Floatzel snapped, his left eye turning into a blank, white state. Collectively, the boss and scientist looked towards the Floatzel, observing the grey muck sloshing out of its socket. Once the grey muck hit the floor, it suddenly spread out like a rampant wildfire. The grey muck spread like a shockwave across the ground, running over every human foot in the room. Soon, the grey muck left the building and ran rampant somewhere else.

“Wh-what is this stuff?” The boss questioned, staring at it. Suddenly, though, his breath stopped, along with everyone else in the room. Their skin turned to stone, as well as their bodies as a whole. In an explosion of white light, every person, man or woman, in the room… was nothing but a pile of pebble-shaped concrete.

They were all dead. And soon, every human in the world will be to