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Telling an Undertale: Pleas Pet Dog

by Mr.RMA

Mr.RMA Continuing on this Undertale playthrough, we've got more simple puzzles to solve, more monsters to spare, and more puns to withstand! As Snowdin approaches, our hero must face plenty more canine foes, all very peculiar and strangely adorable, yet deadly. Will the remorseful human make it to the village ahead intact? Well, I mean, yeah, I'd probably just start over from a save point if I died and all that, this isn't some nuzlocke or anything... but I need a hook and that seemed like a good one, so, read on to find out!
Part 3:

Taking things slowly like this, it made this world far more fascinating, and strangely far more lonesome. I think I had gone through the whole ordeal far too quickly last time to realize just how alone I really felt. Sure, Sans and Papyrus would pop up every now and then so far, but, most encounters I’d been having were violent ones, or at least, they were intended to be that way. These monsters wanted me dead. Just like the flower had said apparently, this was a land where it was kill or be killed, at least, to all their mentalities. Was I getting through to any of them that that wasn’t the case? I certainly hoped so as I pressed on from the sight of that frozen spaghetti dish, the latest ‘trap’ laid out for me that I foiled.

I came up to a sign beside a snow-powdered pine. “Warning: Dog Marriage.” It seemed to say. Dog Marriage? Surely it couldn’t have meant that. But then I read the sign again. “Yes, you read that correctly.” It told me to affirm the absurdity. Perhaps it was the fear I was starting to hallucinate boxes of text speaking to me, but I decided to look around a bit more from that very spot, and to my continual surprise I found a camera of all things, hidden away inside the tree. Was someone trying to spy on this location, or was this part of that apparent canine wedding, a device to record this moment for posterity? The other tree didn’t seem to have anything, aside from another pair of monsters attacking me. I once more ignored an egocentric ice cap and simply ditched a lazier sort of monster, apparently named “Jerry”, of which even his fellow monsters were happy to abandon. It would have seemed sadder to me had Jerry not been as intent on murdering me as everything else here.

A snow covered map appeared below my feet as I went south to an otherwise spike-blocked path. Finding the hidden switch it revealed in the area, the spikes went away and I could safely continue… Or so I had thought… For as soon as I crossed a small bridge, a duo of axe-wielding undertaker-like dogs walked up to surround me.

“What’s that smell?”

“Where’s that smell?” They proclaimed. “If you’re a smell…”

“…identify yoursmellf!” Jeez… the puns didn’t stop at Toriel and the skeleton brothers apparently… Furthermore the dogs seemed to do a strange sort of dance at that, eventually pinpointing just where I was, as if they couldn’t just reach out and touch me considering how uncomfortably close they were.

“It makes me want to eliminate.” One of the dogs commented.

“Eliminate YOU!” the other shouted directly at me. Apparently my scent had that sort of effect on a lot of these monsters… As they sprang into action against me, it was only then that I realized these two were apparently lovers of some kind as they continually were smooching at each other in the midst of their assault. Attempting to be friendly with them proved difficult. My smell made them quite protective of each other, but I had to figure out a way to convince them I was no threat… Surely something dog-like would soothe them… Asking them to sniff me again didn’t work… but perhaps I could find a way to mask that musk I was emanating… I proceeded to roll around in the dirt and snow to hopefully throw them off, smelling more like a weird puppy than a human now. Allowing them to sniff me once more, it appeared my scheme had gone swimmingly. They believed me to be a lost puppy now. Alright, I could work with this… What to do now that they thought I was more like them… I decided to take a more bizarre approach, since that was just the way things were around here, and pet one of them. They actually seemed astonished that I, who they firmly believed to be a dog, could pet other dogs. The other one actually seemed jealous of this, so I pet him too. I had apparently expanded their minds, and emerged from the ordeal alive, if not once more a bit confused over what I just did…

The couple of dogs, whom I could only assume were the married couple, thanked me for opening their eyes to a completely different sort of outlook and dashed off. Seeing no other path to take, I followed them. I came across another puzzle, which was still anything but a true puzzler as I simply had to turn two easily accessible x’s into o’s and press a switch to proceed onward. To absolutely no surprise whatsoever, Papyrus was waiting, perplexed that I had once more defeated him at his own game, though apparently, as he asked if there was “any left for me”, it was clear that he was far more bewildered by the fact that I wasn’t still eating the frozen spaghetti, as if that was truly the pinnacle of trap-making genius in his eye-sockets. I didn’t want to let him down, but I wasn’t sure what would disappoint him less, if I ate it, or if I left it… Still completely uncertain but knowing he was waiting for an answer I spouted that I had indeed eaten the spaghetti. To my surprise he actually seemed flattered by this.

“No one’s ever enjoyed my cooking before…” he explained to me, and I swear even without eyes he looked like he was going to tear up. “Well then!! Fret not human! I, Master Chef Papyrus… Will make you all the pasta you could ever want!” he said excitedly with a gleeful laugh before running off. Was I… making an impression on him? How on earth was I doing that? I just wanted to be a friendly sort, but apparently I was just saying all the right things to him in particular. Apparently he hadn’t run off too far either, as he was standing there waiting for me as I followed after him. Approaching him, he told me about his brother’s recent hobby of collecting socks. He seemed to think it saddening, and wondered what Sans would do without “such a cool guy taking care of him” as he put it. Well, whatever insecurity he had, it wasn’t enough to take down that ego of his. Continuing to what appeared to be the makings of another x and o puzzle, I pressed a switch I saw within another pine, only to be stopped again by Papyrus.

“Hmmm… How do I say this…” he said, clearly pondering his words. “You were taking a long time to arrive, so… I decided to improve this puzzle… By arranging the snow to look more like my face. Unfortunately, the snow froze to the ground. Now the solution is different! And, as usual, my lazy brother is nowhere around. I suppose what I am saying is…” Before continuing, he struck a heroic sort of pose as his cape seemed to flow without any trace of wind. “Worry not, human! I, the great Papyrus, will solve this conundrum!” he declared, allowing me to attempt the puzzle whilst he did so. He said he’d try not to give away the answer, but, aside from perhaps a bit of complexity over choosing the proper path to take, it was not so difficult to figure out. Still, Papyrus was floored by my apparent skill that allowed me to solve the puzzle without any assistance.

“You must care about puzzles like I do!” he said, assuring me I’d love the next puzzle in that case, that it’d potentially be too easy for me, something he once more gave a laugh over as he scampered off in what could only be said puzzle’s direction. As such I followed, and Sans seemed to be waiting this time around.

“…you must be really good at puzzles, huh?” What was it with these guys and simple puzzle logic that made my most-certainly unimpressive skill so impressive to them? It seemed silly, but then Sans said something else that made my heart skip a beat. “I mean… it’s impossible for you to have seen this one before.” He said nothing else as he turned away from me and stared at nothing with that permanent grin on his face. Was he catching on? Did he know? Or was he simply that taken by my basic knowledge? I had solved this puzzle before, I recall as much, though it felt so long ago that I still had to take it again with fresh eyes this time around, but that didn’t eliminate the fact that I had nonetheless done it before. I didn’t want to dwell on it any longer, I simply said nothing and walked past him… And there he was already on the other side of another Papyrus head-scratcher.

As he said before, upon noticing me, the taller brother told me I would love this puzzle he had planned… but unlike the last puzzle, I recalled how this one would play out. This was going to be some great conundrum that a “Dr. Alphys” had constructed, a bunch of tiles that would change color, and they’d all have a different function, and I could only step on certain tiles, though they all had some complexities that would make any color a potential hazard… except for the pink tiles that did nothing. I would’ve paid closer attention to the exact function of each color, but I was already well aware that this contraption would backfire, and it would be hilarious. So, I told him I completely understood this grand tile trick, he warned me it would be a completely random sort of puzzle upon pulling the switch… and a harmless trail of pink laid out in front of me amidst red, with nothing blocking my path in the slightest. Papyrus could only slink away in befuddlement as I stifled a chuckle and walked across the tiles.

Once more curiously approaching Sans as I did so, he mentioned that the spaghetti from earlier wasn’t too bad considering his brother had made it. Apparently his culinary skills had improved since he started taking cooking lessons and Sans was certain that by the next year he’d reach the stage of cooking up something edible. That seemed both endearing and… perhaps unsettling at the same time. Having not actually taken a bite of the pasta, I had begun to wonder if Papyrus had somehow made the dish intentionally frozen from the start… What in the name of all that was holy did his dishes before cooking class look like? I didn’t want to envision that and forced the thought out of my head as I continued deeper into this snowy forest land. A bunch of broken and unfinished snowdogs seemed to decorate this spot, reminding me of that strange dog with the impossibly stretchy neck. Passing an apparently empty booth with a sign that said to be “aware of dog” and “pleas pet dog”, I knew that said dog must have been the one to make all these snowdogs in the first place, and knowing that it’d never give up in that endeavor filled me with determination. Yet another location I felt I could easily come back to in a tight spot.

I noticed a bovine sort of creature standing by as I thought about this artistic pup, and upon approaching it, it informed me that a dog had just rushed by, “filled with inspiration.” The dog had apparently wanted to build a sculpture that perfectly expressed its emotions, but got too excited and its neck simply got longer and longer… Apparently this was a common affliction amongst the dogs in this realm. And here I thought I’d simply met one very strange pup…

I had more puzzles to deal with that indeed got a bit more difficult, but what intrigued me the most was something a slight distance away from this next obstacle. A snow sculpture of Papyrus, cape and all, stood proudly flexing its inexplicable muscles, beside a lump of snow marked “Sans”. Well if there was something Papyrus had the apparent leg-up on his brother, it was snow sculptures. This next puzzle solved with only a little more trouble with the icy floors, I carried on, encountering a poor reindeer-like creature that had been defiled with Christmassy decorations, which I gladly helped remove in order to get on friendly terms with it. Sans showed up… using whatever strange reality-warping powers he seemed to possess to pop from one location to another and then claim that I was following him. Like I said, very difficult to figure that guy out… this southerly path led me to a strange cavern trail up to a door that I had no idea how to open. Some glowing mushrooms stood by the door that could turn off and on by a simple touch, but, if there was a secret combination, I didn’t know it, and simply left the door at peace.

I went back to the other trail at that, where poffs of snow were scattered all about. One had some money in it, a generous snow poff apparently. I figured these must all be snow poffs, but then the last one decided to show its true form as a cute little face and tail came out. Oh, another cute dog, for sure… Wrong, of course I was… I remembered this tricky one, a small cute puppy head attached to a MASSIVE hulking warrior body. The greater dog was ready to attack… I tried to pet it like the others but it was apparently too far away to pet at first. I beckoned it closer, and it bounded over to me, slobbering over my face in the process. We had a messy one here… and a bruiser too, its attacks were enough for me to require quite a bit of food to sustain myself throughout. Still, as I pet the greater dog, it seemed to curl up in my lap, clearly appreciating the gesture, enough to fall asleep… and then almost immediately wake up in a ball of energy! I decided to play with the dog then, figuring that’s what it wanted from me, and it was rather enjoyable seeing how this dog behaved, much like any dog, just… if your average dog looked like an abominable, monstrous knight in most respects. The dog seemed tired after our playtime, so I petted it again. Perhaps this was something of a bad idea as it sank its entire weight on me, now I was obviously quite slowed… and it still wanted more petting! Oh dear, this would be a struggle… Still I pressed on with all my might. More petting! Thankfully one more session of pets was all I needed to make this lumbering warrior puppy content, leaping out of its suit of armor, apparently a normal dog operating that big old suit, licking me affectionately before jumping back in the wrong way, still managing to walk off with its heiny sticking out, tail wagging eagerly. Alright… there was no way I couldn’t admit that was absolutely adorable, beyond its slight absurdity.

Next up in my path was a very lengthy wooden bridge that was quite sturdy looking for something that appeared to have very little keeping it up beyond the wooden pegs on both sides. As I neared the end of the structure otherwise without incident, the skeleton brothers stood on the other side, waiting once more for my arrival.

“Human!” Papyrus bellowed. “This is your final and most dangerous challenge!” Yet another trial I could remember from before. As Papyrus went off concerning the immense dangers of this “gauntlet of deadly terror,” with traps of all deadly sorts waiting to strike me, I knew none of it would actually spring, once more this would be a dud, but not for the same reasons as before. This time Papyrus was hesitant, apparently he didn’t wish to defeat me so easily, said he had standards, and his puzzles were fair, and the traps were “expertly cooked,” whereas this method was classless in its directness. I obviously wasn’t going to object, any one of those weapons both above and below me would’ve easily ended me without much trouble, even the puppy dangling from a string. I wasn’t any sort of offensive powerhouse after all, not this time. Relieved that once more Papyrus called this impossible trap off, justifying it as a victory as he ran off, I finished crossing the bridge, where Sans was still hanging about, choosing to grant me advice about the inevitable fight I would have to have with his brother. What he said wasn’t exactly helpful. A simple “Don’t. Capiche?” Great… I knew that already… but how was I supposed to stop him when he tried to attack me? That’s what was worrying me, that I wouldn’t be able to stop his onslaught, even if it was a reluctant one…

I’d have to figure something out, and I was very much feeling troubled over all of this as I finally made it to the entrance of Snowdin. This was a quaint little village, one I found rather charming, though perhaps that simply stems from my own affinity for snowy places. And this wasn’t just a snowy place, it was a friendly-looking snowy place, the best kind indeed! It was once more a place that got those determination juices flowing, leaving me perhaps just a bit less hopelessly worried over that approaching confrontation.