Mary Luna Rose Starlight Candy Sakura Hime Raven Sparkle Cake Sue bounded happily over to Fantasma Village gym, to challenge Itzal, the last leader in the Nita region's league. She'd heard that Itzal used ghost types, so she couldn't use her number one partner, Shadow Moon the shiny umbreon against him, but that didn't matter. She'd just blow him away with Sprinkles the shiny shaymin, or Kawaii the shiny arceus, or one of the many other legendaries that she had on her team! And then, when she'd beaten him, she'd defeat the elite four and champion with ease, because she's a Mary Sue, and that's what Mary Sues do.
She put her rainbow hair up in pigtails with two pink sparkly ribbons, before she waltzed into the gym and screamed, at the top of her lungs, "I'm Mary Luna Rose Starlight Candy Sakura Hime Raven Sparkle Cake Sue, and I'm here to challenge you to a"--
"Keep it down please, miss!"
Mary was outraged. How dare someone interrupt her epic pre-battle speech?!
She was all ready to give the rude trainer what-for, until she turned to face them and realised that they weren't, in fact, a trainer, but instead, one of the people who worked at the gym. He had a mimikyu at his side, and he wore a long, flowing yukata, with the logo of the Nita league emblazoned on the sash. If she wasn't nice to the people who worked for the gym leader, Mary would be kicked out, and forced to earn her way back inside the gym, thus creating an interesting barrier to her getting the badge, but she was a Mary Sue, and Mary Sues didn't get to be interesting.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Mary said apologetically, lowering her voice just a tad, "But where's the gym leader? I want to challenge him to a battle!"
The worker shook his head. "I'm afraid that Master Itzal is unable to battle today," he said solemnly, "He's upstairs in bed, recovering from an asthma attack. It was quite a bad one, so it'll be a while before he's well enough for work again."
Mary was awfully disappointed by this news. Now, she'd have to wait until Itzal got better to get her last badge in the league, and fulfil her destiny of marrying Ash, and becoming the champion, and catching the few legendaries she didn't currently own...
Or, maybe, she wasn't.
Mary's eyes lit up. What if she went up to the sickly gym leader's room, and took care of him? Yeah, that would show the readers that she was a good person, and then they couldn't hate her, or her creator, for making a terrible character like her. And then, Itzal would be so grateful, that he'd give her a rare treasure, or pokemon as a reward. Mary thought that most ghost types were yucky, but maybe, he had some super kawaii rare ghost type eeveelution to give to her! Or maybe, a shiny! She totally deserved to have one of his pets, or one of his most prized possessions in exchange for helping him get better, because she was a Mary Sue!
So Mary, ignoring the protests of the other yukata clad workers in the room, made a bee-line for the staircase at the back of the gym, dashing up it to find Itzal's room. She hoped that Itzal was handsome; then, she could fall in love with him, and at the end of the story, she could go through some dramatic bullshit about having to choose either him, or Ash, despite everyone knowing that she was going to pick Ash.
Mary threw the door open, to reveal a very tall, hollow-cheeked boy, who couldn't have been much older than seventeen. He too was wearing a yukata, only his was all loose and creased, and he lay curled up next to a banette against some fat pillows. He was kinda cute, Mary supposed, but he was nothing special, and could never compete with her Ash. Oh well, all she had to do was nurse him back to health, get the rare pokemon or treasure, and then continue on with her story.
Mustering up the most gentle, motherly voice that she possibly could, Mary tiptoed over to the bed and softly asked, "Are you feeling alright?"
The boy stirred only slightly, not bothering to look in her direction. Her voice didn't bear any noticeable Nita accent, so she wasn't one of the gym's workers, come to check up on him. She was probably just some challenger, come to check that he really was too ill for a battle, and not just skipping work.
He rolled over, so that he was looking at his banette, and not her. "If I was, I'd be in my throne downstairs, waiting for a challenger," he rasped, "Come back and challenge me when I've recovered."
Mary shook her head, reaching for one of the sickly gym leader's curls. The banette smacked her hand away, hissing, before curling up under Itzal's arm again. She glared at the cursed doll, before continuing her speech.
"I'm not here to challenge you," she assured him, "I just wanted to check up on you, because the guy downstairs said that you'd had an asthma attack. Are you feeling ok? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"
"I just got outta there," Itzal wheezed, "I'm not in any hurry to go back."
The perfect OC watched him as he erupted into a coughing fit, waiting until it was over, before she spoke again.
"Do you have anyone here to look after you?" Mary enquired. She had to make absolutely sure that she was going to be his one and only carer, or else she'd have to share whatever reward he was going to give her with someone else...
"No," he answered.
"Then I'll do it," she offered with a smile, "I'll stay here and care for you, until you're well again. It'll be nothing but hot soup and bed rest for you!"
"Oh, you don't have to do that," Itzal said quickly. He'd only just met this girl, and thus, had no idea whether or not she was worth his trust, anyway, "If I need something, I can call Dolores, or Alejandro to get it for me."
"But what happens if you need something after they've gone home?" Mary replied, "Or what if... What if you have another attack?"
Itzal sank further into his pillows, his banette nuzzling his small chest, "I'm sure that won't happen," he wheezed, "But if it does, I can get my decidueye to fly me to the hospital."
Mary shook her head. Like every other shitty OC out there, she had some generic tragic backstory, and she was going to spew it out for Itzal, a complete stranger, right here and now, so that he'd feel sorry for her, and let her look after him.
"I can't leave a sick person all alone, with no one to look after them!" Mary insisted, "You see, my mum had asthma too, and while I was at school one day, she had an asthma attack, and them Team Rocket busted the door down, and snatched her precious shiny flareon, and her inhaler, and she died! I don't want that to happen to you!"
Itzal blinked. It didn't make any sense to him as to why Team Rocket would steal an inhaler, of all things. They were bad guys, but they weren't bad guys just for the sake of it... Still, he had to feel bad for her. Losing a parent was a tough thing for anyone to go through...
"My deepest condolences," he wheezed.
"So please, let me stay here. I'll do anything, as long as it makes you feel better!"
"Really? You'd do that for me?"
"Of course I would!" she insisted, "I don't want what happened to my mother to happen to anyone else, so I'm going to take care of you. And don't even think about getting me anything to say thank you!"
Now, Mary was absolutely certain that nobody could hate her. She was the perfect, pretty, kind, selfless OC.
Itzal gave her a rare, grateful smile. He'd never met a total stranger who had been willing to do this much for him before. "That's so kind of you," he rasped, "Miss, er,"--
"Mary, she whispered, pulling the covers up to his chin, "And from now, until you feel better, I'll be here for you."
And for the next week, Mary was the most dutiful little nurse in the world. She insisted on feeding Itzal homemade soup, fed all of his pokemon, cleaned for him, fluffed his pillows, and brought him tea, which was her very own, homemade blend, because she suddenly knew how to grow, mix and brew tea, for the sake of the plot. She even polished the glass display case, which held the badges he gave out to the trainers who defeated him, and emptied his pokemons' litter trays... She'd do anything, if it meant that she got a super awesome reward for it.
As Mary had expected, when Itzal recovered, he told her to wait at the entrance of the gym, while he went and got something. Mary could barely resist the urge to squeal with anticipation, as she wondered what he might have got her. Was it a shiny rare ghost type eevee? Was it a pikachu? Was it a diamond ring, that his grandfather gave to him when he was little, and he'd been told to give it to someone special? She couldn't wait...
Itzal returned momentarily with a medium-sized white box, with gold lettering on it, sealed with a striped sticker.
"Here," he offered, a rare smile coming to his face, "This is just a small token of thanks, for taking such good care of me this past week."
Mary took the box eagerly, ripping off the seal and the little sticker before she opened it up. What lay inside wasn't however, a pokemon, or a rare treasure, but instead a cake, from what Mary could tell.
She examined it closely. It had a golden brown, crisp-looking top, and pretty little pastry roses in the middle, complete with leaf decorations. It looked delicious, but... This wasn't her thank-you gift, was it? It wasn't nearly extravagant enough! She deserved better than just some fancy cake!
"Is that it?" she began half-heartedly. He had to be joking, when he gave her this. In just a second, he'd bring out her real thank-you gift.
"Is there a problem?" Itzal enquired, "Don't you like gateau Basque?"
Mary looked up at him expectantly. She waited for him to take out a pokeball, or a jewellery box, or something, that contained a super valuable gift. But he didn't move at all.
"No way," Mary fumed, as the reality of the situation sunk in, "I made tea and soup for you, I cleaned up pokemon poo, I fed your team, and I fluffed your pillows, and all you're giving me to say thank you is cake?!"
"I thought you said that you didn't want me to give you anything to say thank you," he scoffed, "And that you couldn't leave a sick person all alone, with no-one to take care of them. I simply felt that I had to thank you, somehow, so I got you a gateau Basque from my favourite bakery."
"But I'm the main character!" Mary whined, "You're supposed to give me a rare treasure, or an item of super personal or material value, or a cute pokemon, like eevee or pikachu!"
Itzal shook his head. "This story wasn't written by some edgy thirteen year old girl, y'know," he remarked, "I'm not just going to give you one of my pokemon, or the orb used to summon the guardian pokemon who watches over this village, or the ruby cross pendant that's been passed down through my family for eight generations."
"What?!"
"Forget it," Itzal scoffed, "Now, you've shown me that you are not, in fact, as selfless and kind as I first thought, and that you'll only do good deeds if it directly benefits you. You don't seem to be the right kind of person to battle with pokemon, or even own them to begin with, so, I'm afraid that I must ask you to leave my gym."
"You can't do that!" she shrieked, "I have to battle you first! Now that you're all better, I can sweep you with my shiny battle bonded Arceus!"
"I have the right to refuse challengers, you know," Itzal replied, "And since I don't believe that you're fit to battle me, I, Itzal of Fantasma Village Gym, refuse your challenge. I'll battle you when you've helped someone without expecting anything in return."
"But I'm"--
"I don't care," he said coldly, "Leave."
Mary pouted as she stomped away, dumping the gateau in the bin on her way out. Maybe, she wouldn't be the champion of Nita after all. Maybe, she'd blow this lousy region, fly to Alola, and start anew there, instead of proving herself to Itzal, apologising to him, and asking him nicely for a battle. She'd rather start her whole journey again, than just admit that she'd been selfish and rude. Perfect characters like her weren't selfish and rude, anyway. Itzal was just an ungrateful jerk.
"Wait!" Itzal suddenly cried, just as Mary had reached the door.
She spun around her heels. What was he going to do...?
An evil smile graced his face. "Just so you know, you're not the main character," he said coldly, "You're a horrible amalgamation of every Mary Sue trait that the author knows of. You'll never be the champion. You'll never marry Ash Ketchum. You'll always be nothing but a caricature, made only for readers to point at and laugh at and hate."
Mary's lip wobbled. And then the tears started. And then she ran away from the gym, crying perfect rainbow tears as she put in her earphones and listened to Linkin Park, and lamented about how pretty and perfect she was, and reassured herself that someday, she'd marry Ash, and have perfect kawaii desu babies, and become the champion, just like every other Mary Sue out there. The end!
She put her rainbow hair up in pigtails with two pink sparkly ribbons, before she waltzed into the gym and screamed, at the top of her lungs, "I'm Mary Luna Rose Starlight Candy Sakura Hime Raven Sparkle Cake Sue, and I'm here to challenge you to a"--
"Keep it down please, miss!"
Mary was outraged. How dare someone interrupt her epic pre-battle speech?!
She was all ready to give the rude trainer what-for, until she turned to face them and realised that they weren't, in fact, a trainer, but instead, one of the people who worked at the gym. He had a mimikyu at his side, and he wore a long, flowing yukata, with the logo of the Nita league emblazoned on the sash. If she wasn't nice to the people who worked for the gym leader, Mary would be kicked out, and forced to earn her way back inside the gym, thus creating an interesting barrier to her getting the badge, but she was a Mary Sue, and Mary Sues didn't get to be interesting.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Mary said apologetically, lowering her voice just a tad, "But where's the gym leader? I want to challenge him to a battle!"
The worker shook his head. "I'm afraid that Master Itzal is unable to battle today," he said solemnly, "He's upstairs in bed, recovering from an asthma attack. It was quite a bad one, so it'll be a while before he's well enough for work again."
Mary was awfully disappointed by this news. Now, she'd have to wait until Itzal got better to get her last badge in the league, and fulfil her destiny of marrying Ash, and becoming the champion, and catching the few legendaries she didn't currently own...
Or, maybe, she wasn't.
Mary's eyes lit up. What if she went up to the sickly gym leader's room, and took care of him? Yeah, that would show the readers that she was a good person, and then they couldn't hate her, or her creator, for making a terrible character like her. And then, Itzal would be so grateful, that he'd give her a rare treasure, or pokemon as a reward. Mary thought that most ghost types were yucky, but maybe, he had some super kawaii rare ghost type eeveelution to give to her! Or maybe, a shiny! She totally deserved to have one of his pets, or one of his most prized possessions in exchange for helping him get better, because she was a Mary Sue!
So Mary, ignoring the protests of the other yukata clad workers in the room, made a bee-line for the staircase at the back of the gym, dashing up it to find Itzal's room. She hoped that Itzal was handsome; then, she could fall in love with him, and at the end of the story, she could go through some dramatic bullshit about having to choose either him, or Ash, despite everyone knowing that she was going to pick Ash.
Mary threw the door open, to reveal a very tall, hollow-cheeked boy, who couldn't have been much older than seventeen. He too was wearing a yukata, only his was all loose and creased, and he lay curled up next to a banette against some fat pillows. He was kinda cute, Mary supposed, but he was nothing special, and could never compete with her Ash. Oh well, all she had to do was nurse him back to health, get the rare pokemon or treasure, and then continue on with her story.
Mustering up the most gentle, motherly voice that she possibly could, Mary tiptoed over to the bed and softly asked, "Are you feeling alright?"
The boy stirred only slightly, not bothering to look in her direction. Her voice didn't bear any noticeable Nita accent, so she wasn't one of the gym's workers, come to check up on him. She was probably just some challenger, come to check that he really was too ill for a battle, and not just skipping work.
He rolled over, so that he was looking at his banette, and not her. "If I was, I'd be in my throne downstairs, waiting for a challenger," he rasped, "Come back and challenge me when I've recovered."
Mary shook her head, reaching for one of the sickly gym leader's curls. The banette smacked her hand away, hissing, before curling up under Itzal's arm again. She glared at the cursed doll, before continuing her speech.
"I'm not here to challenge you," she assured him, "I just wanted to check up on you, because the guy downstairs said that you'd had an asthma attack. Are you feeling ok? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"
"I just got outta there," Itzal wheezed, "I'm not in any hurry to go back."
The perfect OC watched him as he erupted into a coughing fit, waiting until it was over, before she spoke again.
"Do you have anyone here to look after you?" Mary enquired. She had to make absolutely sure that she was going to be his one and only carer, or else she'd have to share whatever reward he was going to give her with someone else...
"No," he answered.
"Then I'll do it," she offered with a smile, "I'll stay here and care for you, until you're well again. It'll be nothing but hot soup and bed rest for you!"
"Oh, you don't have to do that," Itzal said quickly. He'd only just met this girl, and thus, had no idea whether or not she was worth his trust, anyway, "If I need something, I can call Dolores, or Alejandro to get it for me."
"But what happens if you need something after they've gone home?" Mary replied, "Or what if... What if you have another attack?"
Itzal sank further into his pillows, his banette nuzzling his small chest, "I'm sure that won't happen," he wheezed, "But if it does, I can get my decidueye to fly me to the hospital."
Mary shook her head. Like every other shitty OC out there, she had some generic tragic backstory, and she was going to spew it out for Itzal, a complete stranger, right here and now, so that he'd feel sorry for her, and let her look after him.
"I can't leave a sick person all alone, with no one to look after them!" Mary insisted, "You see, my mum had asthma too, and while I was at school one day, she had an asthma attack, and them Team Rocket busted the door down, and snatched her precious shiny flareon, and her inhaler, and she died! I don't want that to happen to you!"
Itzal blinked. It didn't make any sense to him as to why Team Rocket would steal an inhaler, of all things. They were bad guys, but they weren't bad guys just for the sake of it... Still, he had to feel bad for her. Losing a parent was a tough thing for anyone to go through...
"My deepest condolences," he wheezed.
"So please, let me stay here. I'll do anything, as long as it makes you feel better!"
"Really? You'd do that for me?"
"Of course I would!" she insisted, "I don't want what happened to my mother to happen to anyone else, so I'm going to take care of you. And don't even think about getting me anything to say thank you!"
Now, Mary was absolutely certain that nobody could hate her. She was the perfect, pretty, kind, selfless OC.
Itzal gave her a rare, grateful smile. He'd never met a total stranger who had been willing to do this much for him before. "That's so kind of you," he rasped, "Miss, er,"--
"Mary, she whispered, pulling the covers up to his chin, "And from now, until you feel better, I'll be here for you."
And for the next week, Mary was the most dutiful little nurse in the world. She insisted on feeding Itzal homemade soup, fed all of his pokemon, cleaned for him, fluffed his pillows, and brought him tea, which was her very own, homemade blend, because she suddenly knew how to grow, mix and brew tea, for the sake of the plot. She even polished the glass display case, which held the badges he gave out to the trainers who defeated him, and emptied his pokemons' litter trays... She'd do anything, if it meant that she got a super awesome reward for it.
As Mary had expected, when Itzal recovered, he told her to wait at the entrance of the gym, while he went and got something. Mary could barely resist the urge to squeal with anticipation, as she wondered what he might have got her. Was it a shiny rare ghost type eevee? Was it a pikachu? Was it a diamond ring, that his grandfather gave to him when he was little, and he'd been told to give it to someone special? She couldn't wait...
Itzal returned momentarily with a medium-sized white box, with gold lettering on it, sealed with a striped sticker.
"Here," he offered, a rare smile coming to his face, "This is just a small token of thanks, for taking such good care of me this past week."
Mary took the box eagerly, ripping off the seal and the little sticker before she opened it up. What lay inside wasn't however, a pokemon, or a rare treasure, but instead a cake, from what Mary could tell.
She examined it closely. It had a golden brown, crisp-looking top, and pretty little pastry roses in the middle, complete with leaf decorations. It looked delicious, but... This wasn't her thank-you gift, was it? It wasn't nearly extravagant enough! She deserved better than just some fancy cake!
"Is that it?" she began half-heartedly. He had to be joking, when he gave her this. In just a second, he'd bring out her real thank-you gift.
"Is there a problem?" Itzal enquired, "Don't you like gateau Basque?"
Mary looked up at him expectantly. She waited for him to take out a pokeball, or a jewellery box, or something, that contained a super valuable gift. But he didn't move at all.
"No way," Mary fumed, as the reality of the situation sunk in, "I made tea and soup for you, I cleaned up pokemon poo, I fed your team, and I fluffed your pillows, and all you're giving me to say thank you is cake?!"
"I thought you said that you didn't want me to give you anything to say thank you," he scoffed, "And that you couldn't leave a sick person all alone, with no-one to take care of them. I simply felt that I had to thank you, somehow, so I got you a gateau Basque from my favourite bakery."
"But I'm the main character!" Mary whined, "You're supposed to give me a rare treasure, or an item of super personal or material value, or a cute pokemon, like eevee or pikachu!"
Itzal shook his head. "This story wasn't written by some edgy thirteen year old girl, y'know," he remarked, "I'm not just going to give you one of my pokemon, or the orb used to summon the guardian pokemon who watches over this village, or the ruby cross pendant that's been passed down through my family for eight generations."
"What?!"
"Forget it," Itzal scoffed, "Now, you've shown me that you are not, in fact, as selfless and kind as I first thought, and that you'll only do good deeds if it directly benefits you. You don't seem to be the right kind of person to battle with pokemon, or even own them to begin with, so, I'm afraid that I must ask you to leave my gym."
"You can't do that!" she shrieked, "I have to battle you first! Now that you're all better, I can sweep you with my shiny battle bonded Arceus!"
"I have the right to refuse challengers, you know," Itzal replied, "And since I don't believe that you're fit to battle me, I, Itzal of Fantasma Village Gym, refuse your challenge. I'll battle you when you've helped someone without expecting anything in return."
"But I'm"--
"I don't care," he said coldly, "Leave."
Mary pouted as she stomped away, dumping the gateau in the bin on her way out. Maybe, she wouldn't be the champion of Nita after all. Maybe, she'd blow this lousy region, fly to Alola, and start anew there, instead of proving herself to Itzal, apologising to him, and asking him nicely for a battle. She'd rather start her whole journey again, than just admit that she'd been selfish and rude. Perfect characters like her weren't selfish and rude, anyway. Itzal was just an ungrateful jerk.
"Wait!" Itzal suddenly cried, just as Mary had reached the door.
She spun around her heels. What was he going to do...?
An evil smile graced his face. "Just so you know, you're not the main character," he said coldly, "You're a horrible amalgamation of every Mary Sue trait that the author knows of. You'll never be the champion. You'll never marry Ash Ketchum. You'll always be nothing but a caricature, made only for readers to point at and laugh at and hate."
Mary's lip wobbled. And then the tears started. And then she ran away from the gym, crying perfect rainbow tears as she put in her earphones and listened to Linkin Park, and lamented about how pretty and perfect she was, and reassured herself that someday, she'd marry Ash, and have perfect kawaii desu babies, and become the champion, just like every other Mary Sue out there. The end!
