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Lost Soul's thread

by Alllukario

Alllukario ((Tis persona))
Repost from my Ao3 account about something I've written with a friend...andfirstposthereIsuppose.
Not me.

Not me, not me, why is it me again?
I-I didn't want this... I never did...
But maybe, just maybe...
I could...learn to like it.
They always say everyone has their own path in life, but they contradict themselves.
Some say follow this, follow that. It's like they want you to follow their own path, the one that they found easy...or the path that they didn't get to take. I always take them on with a blank look in my face.

"You know, you should really take this course!"
"Oh, you're smart, you should go be an engineer!"
"Why are you like this?!"
"Don't you want to be like them?"
"You should start taking on something in your life."

I just wanted to find mine, but I don't know how.
In all these years in my life, I never really knew what route I'd take on in life.
Now I find myself talking to people, trying to help them with their mental problems and listening to what they think, as a psychologist.
I was writing on my clipboard in hand as I reassure my current patient, a female the same age as me, about how her anxiety and depression were taking over her life since she was a teenager.

"Yeah," I said with a convincing cheerful voice.
"I know how it feels."


As soon as the new patient had left, I reviewed my notes at the clipboard.
"...she looks like she's hiding it so well...
Or maybe she isn't fazed by them anymore...?"
That's good for her. She's keeping it together.
...at least better than what my life is right now.
One long, unending labryinth.
Even though I'm helping people right now, I still feel so lost.
I think I'm leading them to their own dead ends, too.

As I sighed and placed my clipboard onto the small coffee table in front of me, I noticed something that wasn't there before.
Some kind of calling card.

For some reason, I feel threatened. Then I realized. It was from the infamous thieves.

Mikail Sakuraba, Lost Soul of confusion and dread, you've been lost in your labyrinth of thoughts and lost yourself inside. It's time for you to reach the end and be free. We will steal your distorted desire and lead you to freedom.
-Phantom Thieves

Shock, anger, and confusion coursed through me.
How did they know?
No, no, they shouldn't know what am I doing right now, they'll just be like them!
But why? Isn't this career...all right for me?

As soon as I finished reading the card, my phone shook me out of my stupor by ringing loudly in the empty room. I picked it up, and noticed an app that I hadn't downloaded; something named Metaverse Navigator.
Like they say most times, curiosity kills the cat.
I clicked the app.
It showed a location, and my name on it.

"Mikail Sakuraba, Tatsumi Port Island Office, Labyrinth." It said.
...seems too apt.
With one click, I pressed the location, and everything around me faded into black.
'Beginning navigation.'


The darkness around me didn't completely dissipate, then I realized it was because the place I am in now is darker than the room earlier.
Figures, as it was the Labyrinth.
Cold, black stone lining a small hallway two persons could barely fit in, and doorways in my front that may lead to another place.
There were objects lying around- a toy sword, drawings, and a spoon. ...I knew what they were.
"Lost hopes."

I heard a strange noise. When I looked at the doorways, there were black masses with red eyes in them just hiding in the dark. They were reckoning me...reckoning me to go with them.

No, I won't, I said to myself.
I took the remaining doorway that didn't have the things, the shadows, inside them, and continued on my way.


I...did it again...
But no, I have to keep going...
Or else it'll only get worse...

I walked and walked, feeling that my legs were giving up, and my lungs burning hot. I felt like I needed rest, but I can't stop here, not now.
When I saw light at the end of the tunnel, my heart leaped with small joy. With the last of my strength I ran and ran, until I reached it.
The heart of the labyrinth.

It was there.
Where I found someone looking just like me.
Except, it wasn't me.
It was sitting in a throne, and was clapping to me, at my shameful form.
"Congratulations, you made it!" It said sneeringly, and I wanted to get up and punch it.
But I can't.
I can't move.
There are two more forms on each side of it, and it was the forms I've imagined what the voices inside my head would look like.
"I know how it feels."

It was my anxiety about my whole world, and my depression that came with it.
And now it felt ironic, because the one that looked like me looked like the one who's unfazed by both of them, so confident and no weakness.

It's like...
...the face I make when I am with others.
"You're so shameful, being down to the ground like that. Maybe you should've given up much earlier...that way they won't see you as this sad, miserable thing that you are right now." It said at me, its golden glinting eyes mocking me.
I can't say anything...
It's true, I felt that way...

...but then, what would've happened if I did? Nothing.

I realized that just now.

As I listened to the mockery and sneers from my doppelganger, I slowly stood up with my own will, and faced it head-on, like I always did.

Except, it's different this time.
This time, I'd do it for others, too.
I remembered all the happy faces of the people that I've helped all through the years, and even how much lost I am, I guided them to the path where they would be happy.
Now I laughed at those thoughts. It was just there all along, the path that I was taking. It was right, for me. Pain was now surging in my head, but I didn't care.

I have to help others into seeing what they think is best for them.

"Now, you look ridiculous." I said to my doppelganger, and took it by the shoulders. It flinched, and its perfect facade broke.
It now looked as broken as what I felt earlier. I guess I gotta help it too. It was shaking under my hands, scared, and then I did what I thought I had to do.
I hugged it.
"It's okay, you can always ask for help." I said to it, but more to myself.
"...but if they don't come to you, then do it by yourself, even if it means them scorning you."

It calmed down, and it whispered something in my ear.
"I am thou, thou art I, say my name and guide yourself the others to their own ways."

"Come, Ariadne."

The pain in my head intensified.
I screamed and screamed, until the one in front of me disappeared into a bright light, and then went to my face.
I knew what I had to do.

I ripped the mask that was on my face, and blue fire and blood and pain all went out at the same time. The mask was in a form of an opera mask, and it had spiderweb designs.
As soon as I ripped it off, a sense of calm finally washed over me. I finally knew what to do.
A figure formed behind me, a female in a long flowing white silk dress, with a calm white face and a spool of golden thread in hand. My clothes seemed to change to, one that resembles hers.
A short white robe with slightly flowing sleeves, white laces running on my arms, black shorts underneath, and brown strapped sandals that reached up to below my knee. My hair was pulled into the right side by a silver clip, and the mask that I removed was finally put into place, on the left side of my face.

The bright light might have startled the two other remaining figures in the room, as they now got their weapons: a mace and a war axe. They started approaching me, so I threw golden thread to the doorway where I came from.
"Find your way," I whispered.

Soon enough a group of thieves came barging in, and even with their own masks, I recognized my patient from earlier.
"So you were the one who sent me that, huh?" I jokingly said.
I think she looked uneasy, but I shook my head.
"Thanks for that. You're all here to help me...thank you."

I looked again at the twin demons that I had, and smiled at them too.
"Sorry, but they'll make you see what I've realized."
"You're not going to fight?"
I paused for a moment. I retracted my last statement.
"We'll make you see."


"This can't be... you were only supposed to be stagnant...." the one named Depression told me, as it fell to the ground.
"Don't worry, I may be stagnant at times, but I'll still continue...and you're still a part of me, so please rest now..." I said, and I hugged the two of them together. They look content with that answer, and so they returned.

When I was alone with the Phantom Thieves, I realized what I've just done and just...cried.
Tears started flowing out of my eyes as I came to accept what has happened to me.
"Mikail, what's wrong?!" They asked worriedly, but I shook my head.
"Nothing... it's just that I did all of that just now." I replied.

"It's finally over..."