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10 Episodes: Episode 3

by E.K.A.N.S.

E.K.A.N.S. On the last episode of "10 Episodes," Seb and Gabe destroyed a Rich Boy's team. This week, a new chapter in the series of Pokémon dissatisfied with their evolutions...
"Okay Seb, this isn't fucking funny," Gabe told his trainer bluntly, his face twitching like a Psychic type about to twist his neck as if it were a spoon. "You know that I'm a dude, right? Why in the Distortion World did you evolve me into Gardevoir? I should've been a badass Gallade. Then I'd look more like a battling Pokémon than freaking waifu trash."

"I made you a Gardevoir because a sweaty, disgusting Gallade wouldn't look good onstage. Besides, a crossdressing Pokémon appeals to the LGBTQ+ community. I'll make music that touches everyone," Sebastiano resolved.

"What's LGBTQ+? A stat-boosting vitamin I don't know about?" the battle-obsessed and socially clueless Gabe asked. "We're in the commercial center of the entire Kalos region! Couldn't you have gone out and bought a Dawn Stone? What happened to all that prize money we made?"

"Um... I spent it on singing lessons. I know you give me those for free, but I want to learn from everyone I can."

"What about everything we earned working for the Looker Bureau the past four months and cleaning up the streets of Lumiose City?"

"The singing instructors' medical bills."

"What the actual fuck, Seb? Because of you, we'll be living on the streets! And the fact that I look sexy doesn't help! I really don't want to follow in my mother's footsteps!" Gabe yelled.

"We don't need to sleep outside! This place provides free lodging for anyone who's doing the League challenge. So we can spend the night here, in the Pokémon Center!"

"Like that homeless man?" prompted the Gardevoir, pointing in the direction of a disheveled bum napping on a chair. "We've seen him there every day for the past few months. He's clearly mooching off our tax dollars instead of challenging the Gym. And yes, in this fucked-up world, you're legally a tax-paying adult at age 10."

"Don't judge people by their appearances! That man could've once been the king of Kalos!" Seb scolded. "Anyway, look on the bright side! At least you're a flat-chested Gardevoir, not the kind drawn on body pillows that greasy neckbeards snuggle with!"

While the drifter was sound asleep and likely plastered, the eyes of everyone else in the Pokémon Center were wide awake and plastered instead to the arguing duo. Before they could go at each other's throats any further, however, there was a sudden explosion that ripped through the Lumiose Museum across the street and the people's attention away from them.

"How did that building blow up? I didn't hear you sing," Gabe got in one last jab. "Unless the terribleness has evolved and is now present in your regular voice."

A flash of orange emerged from the destruction and took to the skies, but the omniscient Psychic-type and Seb, who had sharp, detail-oriented eyes that corrected flaws in the dance moves he practiced, identified it clearly. A round man with a bundle of paintings strapped to his back and several pounds of stomach fat strapped to his front was fleeing the scene on a Charizard. He must've been a foreigner, since that Pokémon didn't occur in Kalos, or at least a crazy person, since art thieves were usually less conspicuous. Then again, what was sane about the universe in which they lived?

"Art thieves, huh? I know a biomechanical abomination with armblades who'd love to have a word with them. Why don't we just leave things to him?" yawned the battle-reluctant boy.

"Hell no. You are not shirking your responsibilities as a Pokémon trainer," Gabe dismissed. "Now here's what we're gonna do. We'll track down the criminal, destroy his Charizard, and return the stolen goods. Then everyone in Lumiose City will know how great we are, throw cash at us, and give us a place to stay to make up for the money you squandered."
  1. E.K.A.N.S.
    @kyuukestu Because he's male and obsessed with battles? :p

    His legs are as skinny and sexy as any other Gardevoir's, it wouldn't be as humiliating otherwise. XD
    Jul 27, 2020
    SageNeb and kyuukestu like this.
  2. kyuukestu
    I imagine Gabe as a Gardevoir with T H I C C legs, I don't really know why.
    Jul 27, 2020
    SageNeb and E.K.A.N.S. like this.
  3. SageNeb
    Rip gabe though, should’ve pressed B on himself.
    Jul 17, 2020
    E.K.A.N.S. likes this.
  4. SageNeb
    This is the funniest shit I’ve ever read. Please post the rest
    Jul 17, 2020
    PrincessPika~chan and E.K.A.N.S. like this.