Hello, Shiny. It's me, or rather, it's you, from the future. Who would have thought that the you on 12 years, the you who is twice your age, would talk to you again? Well, you probably did. You've asked me some questions in the past, haven't you? I'll give you the answers you wanted, the answers you won't get or understand for another 12 years.
The friends you have as a 12 years old, though you may lose touch with some of them, you'll still consider many of them your friends. Few, if any, you'll consider your closest friends anymore, but they're still there. But you'll also meet new friends, and become friends with people you've met in the hallways but never stopped to have a conversation with. Your best friend is one such person. You've already seen her before. Don't worry, you'll know her when you get there.
That website you've started to frequent? Those staff members you're so scared of now? Many of them will become your closest friends, and in many ways, they'll be your family. You'll grow with them and learn a lot from them, though you'll also have fun and feel more like yourself. There will be ups and downs and sometimes you may not talk to some of them for a while, as families often are, but they're worth it.
Speaking of family, your relationship with your biological parents? Well, I won't sugarcoat that. You'll fight. A lot. And that's putting it lightly. They'll say they're changing, and they're doing better, but you and I both know they're liars through and through. Perhaps they love us, or care about us. But they hurt us a lot. But even if they hurt us, you'll have people who do care about you for who you are and not who they wish you are, you'll have people who love you for your flaws and your trauma. And you'll be able to get through it.
You're different. You've always been different, and you've felt it too, even if you don't fully understand it. And different is not a bad thing. Embrace your differences, and know there's nothing wrong with being you. People will try to tell you to stop being yourself, that you don't know yourself. But you're your own expert. And you know yourself.
The you in 12 years is both the same and different. I'm still discovering things about myself, and that's the fun part about life. Not all of it is good. Not all of it is bad. A lot of it is just... me. It's you. It's me. It's who we are. Little by little, I'm learning to love myself, and perhaps someday we'll be able to love ourself for everything.
I'm proud of you, little 12 year old me. You're starting to learn about your life and getting to know yourself, even if you don't understand all of you yet. It's been hard to get to where you are now, but you've already accomplished so much. I know it's hard and you may not think that, but everything you've done, and will do, leads you to me. And... I hope you're proud of me, too. I haven't done everything you thought I'd do. No, I'm not working for NASA, not yet, anyways. But I've come a long way, and it's thanks to you I'm where I am today.
Thank you, 12 year old me. I can't go back to you, but I can write this letter for you. You've done well. Hang on tight, because the next 12 years will be here and gone before you know it.
And to the me 12 more years from now, I wonder what you'll say to me then?
Much love,
Shiny
The friends you have as a 12 years old, though you may lose touch with some of them, you'll still consider many of them your friends. Few, if any, you'll consider your closest friends anymore, but they're still there. But you'll also meet new friends, and become friends with people you've met in the hallways but never stopped to have a conversation with. Your best friend is one such person. You've already seen her before. Don't worry, you'll know her when you get there.
That website you've started to frequent? Those staff members you're so scared of now? Many of them will become your closest friends, and in many ways, they'll be your family. You'll grow with them and learn a lot from them, though you'll also have fun and feel more like yourself. There will be ups and downs and sometimes you may not talk to some of them for a while, as families often are, but they're worth it.
Speaking of family, your relationship with your biological parents? Well, I won't sugarcoat that. You'll fight. A lot. And that's putting it lightly. They'll say they're changing, and they're doing better, but you and I both know they're liars through and through. Perhaps they love us, or care about us. But they hurt us a lot. But even if they hurt us, you'll have people who do care about you for who you are and not who they wish you are, you'll have people who love you for your flaws and your trauma. And you'll be able to get through it.
You're different. You've always been different, and you've felt it too, even if you don't fully understand it. And different is not a bad thing. Embrace your differences, and know there's nothing wrong with being you. People will try to tell you to stop being yourself, that you don't know yourself. But you're your own expert. And you know yourself.
The you in 12 years is both the same and different. I'm still discovering things about myself, and that's the fun part about life. Not all of it is good. Not all of it is bad. A lot of it is just... me. It's you. It's me. It's who we are. Little by little, I'm learning to love myself, and perhaps someday we'll be able to love ourself for everything.
I'm proud of you, little 12 year old me. You're starting to learn about your life and getting to know yourself, even if you don't understand all of you yet. It's been hard to get to where you are now, but you've already accomplished so much. I know it's hard and you may not think that, but everything you've done, and will do, leads you to me. And... I hope you're proud of me, too. I haven't done everything you thought I'd do. No, I'm not working for NASA, not yet, anyways. But I've come a long way, and it's thanks to you I'm where I am today.
Thank you, 12 year old me. I can't go back to you, but I can write this letter for you. You've done well. Hang on tight, because the next 12 years will be here and gone before you know it.
And to the me 12 more years from now, I wonder what you'll say to me then?
Much love,
Shiny