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Chapter 1: Preparing the suitcase

by Umbreon06

Umbreon06 I'm writing a book, in Chapter 6 is more interesting, but now... Now is a little boring.
"—Do you have everything ready?— My mother asked me
—Yes mom...— I answered
—Are you sure? You know that in getting going you will not be able to take anyhing.
—Yes mo... Oh, no! I forgot it.
—You see? I told you, what did you forget?
—My stuffed animal, Torti, I cannot go to sleep anywhere without him.— I told her looking at that little stuffed animal hedgehog with brown quills, white belly and brown eyes
—You're 14 years old, you should not go on sleeping with stuffed animals.— The door rang; he was my soul friend, my best friend. His hair was disheveled as if they were the spikes of a hedgehog, it was very flat and combed. His dark chestnut color was like a black and his eyes were the same color. He had a perfectly straight nose, round eyes, small ears, very thin eyebrows, a thin mouth and a pointed face. He was the thinnest guy in the neighborhood, so much so, that for his 13 years and his 1.59 m, he looked like an 11-year-old boy— Look! Leonardo has arrived.
—Is ready Eli?— He said
—Elisabeth? She should be here below.
—Yes, I'm here Leo.— I interrupted my own stumble. The staircase was bent and most of the time, when descending quickly, I hit the wall— Aish...
—Are you okay, daughter?
—Yes, yes. Can we leave?
—Of course yes, heading to the camp. Mount the car the two.
—Sure, Mrs. Primor. What you say.
—Please, you can treat me of "thou".
When we get in the car, my mother started it; we were going to the camp. We would take about 3 hours, so we got comfortable. During the trip, I started to think about me: A smart girl, but not as clever as Leo; a little shy and probably nothing brave but loyal and kind. Compared with Leo, there wasn't much change, only in the appearance. I had a flat nose, big eyebrows, almond eyes only that small ears and a thin mouth, like Leo. I had a round face, the hair so brown that without light it looked black and light brown eyes. I used to wear a high ponytail without any bangs. When I stopped thinking about everything, Leo and me started talking. We spoke about the people could be and how we can get in the camp. The hours flew by, we were on the camp. I, still, was thinking: Why did I have to be June and he December? That still made me look older. I weighted more than he and I measured 1.65 m. We were the same, but differents. Young people from the 2025 very peculiar.



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  1. Umbreon06
    Umbreon06
    1. Okay, is exactly what it is.
    2. It's not a boy, it's a girl.
    3. But the spiky hair is like a 3-days beard and the flat hair is because it's combed.
    Jun 14, 2019
  2. PokeStorm
    PokeStorm
    It seems like this wasn't originally written in English. If it wasn't, I assume it ran through Google translate.

    If it was originally in English, then I think you should consider rereading your work and working on punctuation amd grammar. The formatting is also a little weird.

    What I got from this is that a boy, his mom, and his best friend who seemed to have spiky hair and flat hair at the same time, which I dont understand, are going on a road trip.
    Jun 14, 2019