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A Response To 'I'm Sorry'

by Shiny Blue Gardevoir

Shiny Blue Gardevoir I hate fake nice guys. You know the ones; they pretend to care about you, and then demand sex, and/or a date from you, in exchange for basic human decency. Here's a response to the infamous 'I'm Sorry' poem, written by some sad niceguy fedora-tipping basement dweller.
Before we begin, here's a link to the original. You should probably read it before you read this. https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/6iuv5u/imsorry_found_this_on_someones_profile_im_dying/ (I'mSorry. Found this on someone's profile. I'm dying, lol. • r/niceguys)


I'm sorry you think I owe you sex because you bought me flowers I didn't ask for

I'm sorry you think that you deserve a reward for not raping me

I'm sorry that you expect me to sleep with you, even though I don't find you attractive

I'm sorry you think I have to be romantically interested in you in exchange for common decency

I'm sorry that, once again, you expect me to sleep with you, even though I don't find you attractive

I'm sorry that you think you're the only nice guy in existence (Spoiler alert, you're not nice) and that you think that I have to sleep with you because every other man who wants me is obviously an abuser

I'm sorry you think you can pay your way into my pants. I'm not some thing for you to buy

I'm sorry that my idea of a good time is different to yours, and that somehow, that makes me the bad guy

I'm sorry that you feel the need to hide the fact that you're terrible in bed by spewing crap about how you're the only man who would ever fuck me because you love me, and not just 'cause

I'm sorry that you feel entitled to my body, because you pretended to care about me

I'm sorry that you expect me to sleep with you because you didn't get mad at me for being drunk

I'm sorry that you expect me to sleep with you because you pretended to care when I needed help

I'm sorry that my autonomy and free will as a human being is inconvenient to your boner

I'm sorry you think that friendship with me would eventually lead to sex, like in a stupid rom-com

But most of all,

I'm sorry that we ever met, because you're a creep who thinks that pretending to care means that I owe you sex

I'm sorry that I thought we were actually friends, and that you weren't just trying to get into my pants the whole time

I'm sorry that you think that I'm obligated to go out with you just because you asked, even though I'm not interested, never have been, and never will be

I'm sorry that you think that going out of your way to pretend to care means that I have to have sex with you, and/or date you

I'm sorry you stopped pretending to care when you realised I won't ever let you hit it

I don't date assholes. You only say that because the men I date get to be with me, and/or fuck me, and you don't. You only say that they're assholes, because you live in some Hollywood movie fantasy, where I'll eventually end up with you, not because I'm attracted to you, or because you have things in common with me, but because you're ~such~ a nice guy, and so obviously, you deserve me. Because I'm not a human being, with needs and wants. I'm just a prize for you to win.

If you know a toxic arsehole like this, copy and paste this, and send it to them
Shiny Blue Gardevoir, Mar 2, 2018
Tags:
  1. E.K.A.N.S.
    E.K.A.N.S.
    If you see others only in terms of what you can get from them, you'll get nothing. Just see them as people, not objects to satisfy your desires... That's the long version of the status I posted earlier, which relates.

    To be honest though, it works both ways. I know plenty of genuine guys who've been accused of flirting when they were just being nice to girls, usually by her jealous friend who isn't being talked to as much and fucks them over like that in a conversation. That's a completely different scenario, but the point I'm making is sometimes people sound kind when they really want sex, but other times people sound like they want sex when they're being kind. It's such a rare thing nowadays that when people are truly nice, you think they're trying something. But you can't be too cynical either.
    Nov 4, 2018
  2. Shiny Blue Gardevoir
    Shiny Blue Gardevoir
    Oct 3, 2018
    Ghostly Jazz Hand's likes this.
  3. Blotch'd
    Blotch'd
    I'm not trying to do that.
    I ain't looking for love on the INTERNET!
    Thats literally the WORST place to look.
    Oct 3, 2018
    Nebulix and Shiny Blue Gardevoir like this.
  4. Shiny Blue Gardevoir
    Shiny Blue Gardevoir
    @Ghostly Jazz Hand's It's honestly stupid that men like this really exist. Gentlemen, I'm asexual. If you're looking for a partner, you're barking up the wrong gardevoir's tree. I'm only interested in making friends, so don't waste my time by pretending to be my friend, and then turning around and acting like I owe you a date. Your dick isn't any of my concern.
    Oct 3, 2018
    Nebulix likes this.
  5. Blotch'd
    Blotch'd
    I may be a guy myself, but man, whoever your sending this to DESERVE'S it.
    Ladies aren't toy's, people. (Not like I think many guys read this, but still...And there definitely not a 'prize' you win by pretending to care. But I think @Shiny Blue Gardevoir got that point across.)
    Oct 3, 2018
    Nebulix and Shiny Blue Gardevoir like this.
  6. Psycho Monkey
    Psycho Monkey
    Excellent poem! It very well articulates an unfortunate problem with our society. I'm sorry trash like that exists in the world. May they never get what they want and may they always get what they deserve!
    Mar 3, 2018