(Feel like bringing this back, feel free to point out my mistakes!) When you work with The Felt, you can be sure that somewhere, something interesting is happening. Itchy couldn’t go five minutes without pulling a prank on someone, and the only ones safe from his antics were Clover, Snowman, Stitch, and Lord English himself. So while I worked with them, I found that I spent a lot of time guarding the vault with Clover and his mindless bodyguards Eggs and Biscuits. I remember one day in particular, when Die finally came to us, fed up with Itchy. It was a very slow day, I was engaged in conversation with Clover; his idiotic bodyguards had just made their appearances, and were standing around, doing nothing important. Suddenly Die appeared in the middle of the room, coming from one of the numerous timelines he traveled between. After he’d shaken off his bewildered look, he approached the two of us, obviously intent on getting something off his chest. “Damn that Itchy!” he yelled once we were within earshot, “his antics have gotten him killed in more timelines then I care to count!” Die was a bit of a sucker, always willing to play a game with someone, even if he knew he would lose. Itchy was always there to engage him in a game of poker, which normally ended with him fuming over his latest loss. “I keep telling you not to play with him,” Clover responded, in his normal sing-song-like voice. “Even in timelines that Diamonds Droog, Hearts Boxcars, and Clubs Deuce are dead in he has been killed because he pranked the wrong guy,” Die grumbled, oblivious to Clover’s advice. Diamonds Droog, Hearts Boxcars, and Clubs Deuce, three names that meant little to me; apparently, in many of the timelines Die travels to, those three, along with Mayor Spades Slick, had formed a gang called the Midnight Crew. In this timeline, their pins are in Die’s voodoo doll. I asked him once why he doesn’t have Slick’s pin to the doll, and he tells me that if Slick wasn’t around, then the town never would have come into existence. So instead, Slick’s gang member’s pins were. They must have been a bad influence on the mayor; he was such a nice man in this timeline. Of course, Lord English had him under his thumb at all times. “Calm yourself Die, unless you want to scare Eggs again,” Clover called to his comrade. Die looked back at Clover’s two guards. Biscuits had hidden in his oven the moment Die appeared, Eggs, however, had stayed, and was looking at Die like the moron he was. Die shook his head, and came closer to us, before continuing in a more civil tongue. “Surely you two must agree with me, Itchy is a menace,” he sighed. “Yes,” Clover agreed, “but he is a useful menace, especially since Doze keeps getting captured.” “Itchy does make life here a little easier, even if he has his annoyances,” I said to Die. “Itchy and Doze, we get along well enough without them in other timelines,” Die muttered. It was at that moment that Itchy made his appearance, zipping into the room so fast that it was as if he had appeared as suddenly as Die did. “Speak of the devil!” Clover called gleefully. Itchy responded with something incomprehensible, he obviously hadn’t speed up time for the rest of us again. He wanted for us to return to normal speed, before he spoke again. “Hello to you to, Clover,” he said, “So you were talking about me?” The two of us looked to Die, wondering if he would explain himself to Itchy. He shook his head, and left, off to annoy someone else. Itchy shrugged, and followed him out, asking Die if he wanted to play cards. Unsurprisingly, he accepted, and the two disappeared down another corridor. “If Itchy’s antics are what get him killed, Die’s short temper, or short attention span, will be his,” Clover sighed. “Probably,” I agreed.