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Un poeme' petit

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by Weeds, Nov 5, 2009.

  1. This poem is dedicated to Finland; we've had our first snow of the year! ;D

    A blanket of newly fallen snow
    Stretched ahead of me, like a blank paper
    And it feels
    As if walking through it would
    Destroy the perfect untouched
    So I choose a longer way around​

    This poem is not only about snow. It's also about the environment. If we're going to stop global warming, we might have to take a longer way around. It might not be very easy, but if we want that blanket of snow to remain a blank paper, we're going to have to do it.

    So. Comments would be nice. Help me develop my poetry some more and you might be seeing some more poems in the future ;). You heard it from me. Hit me (not literally).

    (P.S un poeme' petit = a small poem. I can has french skillz. :p)
  2. Heh, my French is a little rusty. At first, I though the topic was called 'A Little Potato.' XD

    I like the rhythm in this. In my opinion, the emphasis is on the first syllable of each word, lending an almost story-book like feel to the reading.

    The double meaning is quite a nice addition, linking it to everyone and not just those with snow.

    In short, the poem is good, as it's lulling (soothing?) without being 'sleepy', but with a meaning deeper than that.
  3. Actually I didn't know what poem was in French, so I had to look it up ^^'

    Thanks for your comment! I kind of tried to make the poem soothing, which obviously worked quite well. :) The point of the double meaning was that if one is feeling lazy and such, the poem is only about snow. But if one is in a philosophic kind of mood, the other meaning could be revealed.

    Over all I'm pretty proud of myself. ^^ This poem woke up my internal poet, so I'm probably going to get some more poems up in the future. ;)

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