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Steal the Briefcase!

I send Yer Boi Fredrick to steal back the briefcase. He successfully steals it, then shoots Eeveechu in the shoulder. He delivers it to me, and I take it into the pocket dimension. I then put it into a completely indestructible safe with a combination that only me and Fredrick know.
 
I sue you for stealing my joke, win the lawsuit with a kickass prosecutor, teleport inside the safe, take the briefcase, teleport to the regular world, sell it on the black market to a french man in a red suit and ski mask, and retire to Kanto with my Darkrai.
 
Vladski and Borsht toss you out of russian shelter, attach a nuke to your back, steal the briefcase, run away, blow up the nuke, attach the briefcase to a rocketship, and send the briefcase to the moon.
 
Realizing that Vladski and Borsht didn't travel to the moon with the briefcase, I refuse to die and travel to the moon. I steal the briefcase.
 
I decide thst I will stop fighting and create a new universe. It is a bubble universe, but accidently collides and morphs with the Breifverse. This tears your galaxy to pieces as it is destroyed in the collision and the breifcase is thrown out of the universe. Seeing the breifcase, I create its own bubble universe and then pop the bubble, theoritacally destorying the breifcase from existance. However, it is obvious that the breifcase can't be destroyed and is floating outside of existance.
 
I attempt to reach the Briefcase from the Karpverse, but none of the most powerful dimension bending Karps can even reach it. I decide it is futile and decide to just relax until someone can get their hands on the thing
 
As I was traveling home faster than the speed of light (somehow), I notice a new universe. I slow down and enter it. I find Eeveechu, and I send Fredrick and Homie Dolphin to fight Vladski and Borsht. I then get my Blaziken to Blaze Kick both Eeveechu and Darkrai, Eevee drops the briefcase, I take it, and quickly get back to Earth with all of my homies.
 
I teleport to you, kick you in the nads, shoot you in the shoulder, obliterate all of your creations with Vladski and Borsht's nukes, have Darkrai put you to sleep and torment your nightmares, take your money... and leave the briefcase.
"You know if you wanted it you could have just bought it. I'm a businessman now." I teleport back to my universe, bring Darkrai, Vladski and Borsht with me, and seal it up so no one can enter.
 
I fly into your dimmension right before it close due t honchcrow's incredible speed, he use sky attack on you and you drop the case. I fly away on honchcrow after grabbing it.
 
Even thought I'm shot, I have universe wizardry so it is just lodged in my forehead. It falls out an pops the bubble universe you are in, destroying everything in it apart from the breifcase, which floats around in the universal vacuums (It sounds very sciency), I create a bubble universe around it, meaning the only way to enter and reach it is to break through the bubble, sending a supernova into your face. I then play cricket with @SMRPG64, using the universe as the corkey.
 
I realise that I should probably just hit the universe really hard into @Doodlydoo's face and then take it, inciting an epic chase, but thats too cliche so I continue to play while two Magikarp ninjas secretly take it and bring it to the Karpverse
 
I hit the universe ball, sending it flying at you and trapping you inside, i take the briefcase, put a cloth over it and use it as a table to eat dinner
 
I just so happen to be faking that dinner you're eating. Surprise! While you're still in shock, I scoop the cloth into my hand, briefcase still inside, and run away from you like a kidnapper Santa Claus, a smoke bomb thrown your way to keep you even more preoccupied.
 
in the debris of the fallen universe. a flash of light appear and me riding my Honchcrow and now accompanied by the Alpha Magikarp appear and fly toward ringmaster at amazing speed. The Magikarp slam the ground to bounce you into the air and I swoop in and grab the Briefcase then fly away on Honchcrow with Alpha following.
 
I did not have the briefcase, so me and my universe are still perfectly fine. It has been sealed, so no one may enter. Me and my friends live peacefully in our dimension.
(This means I'm leaving the thread BTW. See ya. Don't do anything with my characters and my universe as we are nowhere near the briefcase and just live peacefully.)
 
I press the Cosmic Squid button and summon the Cosmic Squid (An almost completely transparent giant squid, 3 times the size of Earth). I get the Cosmic Squid to send @koopa000 and their homies to an alternate dimension with no exit. I ask the Cosmic Squid to give me the briefcase, but it refuses. It flees with the briefcase. I blow the horn of allies and call @SismicFlareCharmander
 
You turn rounds to see me charging at you on Great A'tuin the World Turtle. It clashes into the cosmic squid and the discworld slips off it. It lands on the comsic squid's head, dazing the squid. While the squid is dazed, I grab the breifcase and put it into a larger breifcase, which I put in a larger breifcase, which I put in a larger bre... ifcase, which I out in a final larger breifcase. I then reflect on how I just spent most of my life putting breifcases in each other to protect one.
 
My eyes turn red, and my enitire body bursts into flames. Oh what a mistake you have made.

I fly towards you at Mach Ten, breaking the sound barrier and sending your body parts flying in every direction. Ten I take those body parts and grind them up and put them in a salt shaker, and force an innocent man to eat all of the salt and body parts. Then I kill that man, give all his organs to a hospital and the rest of him to a group of cannibals. Then I set the hospital on fire from all sides, stopping any escape and using the wreckage to create the outer shell for a nucular bomb which I launch at the cannabals

Then I go up to Heaven and yank you away as you are about to walk through the gates, and throw you into the deepest pit of hell, dooming you to eternal suffering.
 
Me and Fredrick secretly begin unlocking @Doodlydoo 's briefcases. After a couple of months of somehow not being noticed and opening the briefcases, I finally find the real briefcase. I then start to wonder why we've been spending so long trying to steal one specific briefcase. Maybe there is a reason... After standing there, wondering for hours, me and Fredrick travel back to my pocket dimension and hide the briefcase inside multiple other pocket dimensions within my pocket dimension. How is this possible?
 
I stop playing cricket for a tea break. When I come back with the tea, I spill some on the pocket dimension, boiling it. I pop it to end the misery of anybody in it and the breifcase comes out. I then put it in another universe and continue playing the cricket with @SMRPG64.
 
I travel to the dimension with my dimensional portal gun to retrieve the briefcase and the item inside the case reacts with me and glows so bring that the case disappear and the items is given to me.
 
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