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Smug World Order Badfic Contest 2012!

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by KoL, May 28, 2012.

  1. KoL

    KoL FPS Guy
    Staff Member Moderator

    Ladies and gentlemen, the sWo is proud to present, after a greatly successful run last year, the return of the Smug World Order Badfic Contest!

    You all know the rules by now (probably,) but in case you need reminding, all you need to do to participate is write a chapter for your own, personal fanfiction. It can be about anything, related to anything, you have free reign over whatever you choose to write. The only requirement is that you make your work as mind-blowingly awful as you possibly can. If you know how to write good fanfiction, then you probably know how to write really bad fanfiction too, and if you don't know how to write good fanfiction...well then you can just write what you'd usually write and you'll probably do just fine. The person who writes the worst fanfic chapter will be crowned the sWo 2012 Badfic Champion!

    Now, the winners last year were Jenova and Tunduli, who both tied for 1st place with 94/100 Fail Points. Will we see a true, undisputed champion this year? Could it be you?

    So without further ado, you may begin writing! Once enough badfics are posted, your work will be judged by myself and Lord Smugleaf to decide whose is the worst of them all. Best of luck to you all.
     
  2. Do we have a criteria on how to achieve these "Fail Points"?
     
  3. Shiny Lyni

    Shiny Lyni 2016 Singles Football

    Luckii: just read the other topic here and you might get an idea? ^^;

    Sorry speak no English, word might be not work.

    ***
    "Larry, your father and I are you proud of private schools to the deck, it is very few people can claim to have achieved!"

    Larry with a smile from the back of the car. "Yes, I can see again Patrick. No, he said he wanted to meet us when we arrived there?"

    "In the dorm," the father replied, his eyes do not turn off the GPS.

    Larry shrugged and said: "Well, the letter told me go to the hostel to pick up in my room unified, so its meaning."

    "Well, when we arrived there, to ensure that you take a bath every day, or you might get lice, eat a hearty breakfast every morning I do not want you," Larry began to adjust the conversation, his parents began to list a bunch of things he should and should not be done. He gazed at his reflection in the window, his fingers, and his new trim, blond, looked at his reflection to imitate his actions. The scenery outside suddenly from the green grass, white, and he blinked several times, to ensure that he is not hallucinating. Resurfacing a few seconds before the disappearance of green eyes in the window guy.

    To enhance his eyes from the ground, Larry felt a sudden awe of the great, looming buildings stands at his side. Each building is huge, like learning, is more like a medieval castle or palace, he saw in textbooks, in addition to the more refined, less school. Style, the school seems to embrace the Gothic architectural style, beautifully crafted flight array, every building on the pier and gargoyles, grotesques with decorative roof peeping. Almost all the buildings are three or four towers on each corner, everything was painted pure white, in addition to grass and trees, and uniforms for the students to wear.

    He saw a few people hanging around the fountain, and pointed out how strange modern clothes looked old architectural style building in the school. The girl has red and black plaid skirt, and a simple white shirt and wearing a red sweater. Some of them have a red or black ribbon in their hair, or just in their heads, wearing the same color beret. These guys dressed in black slacks and a white shirt, red and black tie with a pattern. There are a few of a girl wearing a red-lined black coat or jacket. All of these Converse black or red and white socks, and a child, even a garland fixed in his shirt.

    Overall, Larry has been in want, the school has a strange atmosphere, especially the the wreath guy of all students seems to be very polite. Several girls even curtsying when he spoke! "What is it?" He said to himself: as the car began to launch from the scene, he managed to pry a few guys to bow guy garland.

    Suddenly, he felt a vibration in his pocket, which makes him jerk like he was crazy. His mother seemed to notice, she asked, "How are you, dear?"

    "Y-ah," he replied still feeling in his pocket, cell phone vibration impact, he recovered. It has been his gift from his parents, he was convinced that they gave the phone to him, so he can call or send text messages every night. Unlock the touch screen, he saw some people send text messages to him. Patrick, you may.

    I can see the car. Tell them that the hostel is their right. [/ I], it must be Patrick. "Dad, it is on the right," Larry said, pointing to one of the larger buildings. His father nodded, moving in the right, where they saw two other cars pull some figures standing beside the guidance. When they approached, Larry see a red blur of a digital chest, slowly but surely into a garland. When they finally close enough to see everyone's face, Larry and garlands approached them he had no choice but to open the door to an inward groan.

    "Hairy Larry, you come!" The guy says to deal with a young boy, all the way to the other side of the car.

    "Patrick, I can not breathe!" Larry retorted, trying to push his brother. Patrick just laugh, they hug tightly, Larry give him a friendly punch in the face, finally getting Patrick to let go. Larry funny began to pant, his breathing and Patrick in his shoulder and arm. When he finally stopped breathing, he said, "This is good to see you again."

    "You, too," Patrick replied. He left the car, hugging their parents, who are already. "I'm glad to see you, father, mother."

    Four of them to help Larry's baggage to his room, fortunately happens to be on the first floor. Each layer is a different class, so the youngest at the bottom of the oldest at the top authorities that it is a safe way, "Patrick explained," such a small child does not get any stupid idea. . "

    Larry tried to enter their room the boys of the same age. Clearly, the door was locked, because they rose to Patrick when they see him through to buy. "Can you please help us to open our doors?" One of the requirements.

    "Sure thing, the boy," he said, a warm smile, he pulled out a key from his pocket, and their doors unlocked. "Sorry, it looks like Kenneth forget to open your."

    The children rushed in, one of whom said: "Thank you, Perez!" Before his roommate.

    Larry put forward Patrick eyebrow. "Perez?" He said. "Like a monitor? Why did you not say anything as early as?

    Patrick shrugged. "Just want to keep a surprise for you, I guess."

    They continue to walk when they got the No. 109 rooms, they found a boy sitting on his side of the trunk stack. He has wavy brown hair, this part covers his eyes, gray eyes, and his age is very high. The boy looked at them, if he is the hope that they, Lawrence, like he saw the child before.

    Patrick said, however, looked at the boy and questioned look on his face. "Your door locked?"

    "No," said the stranger, he shook his head. "I'm just waiting for my roommate. Think this will be more appropriate, you know?"

    Larry from his pocket and pulled out his letter, and noted that circled at the bottom of the page. "Well, you do not have to wait any longer," Larry said. He opened the door and all the boy's belongings, including five in just two rounds of the room. Larry to his parents a hug, and Patrick, too, before leaving two adults. Larry swear, he saw his mother in tears.

    "Well, I will leave you two," Patrick said. In the closet, he pointed to continue, "where your uniform package you should try and ensure that it is the correct size. See you guys in the General Assembly a few hours.", He left the room.

    Larry sighed and failed, to his bed. "We can decompress, I think," he said. "I'm tired."

    "Glad to see you, tired," his roommate said, when he opened the closet door. He continued, "the left bank of the name of Matthew, although you can call me Matt or hunger."

    "Hey!" Larry said angrily. "My name is not tired and I just think I was sleepy."

    "My God, has been determined. Tired, sleepy, or Lawrence?

    Larry blinked in surprise. "Wait a minute, how do you know my name?" Matt did not respond, just throw the plastic wrap covering his black and red soft pack. It has a note that reads, "Lawrence wife."

    "That, my friend," said Matt began to open his bag, took out a white shirt, it looks like Larry from just seen, if only a small "Do you think this may be more fancy things, but it is so simple and straightforward."

    At least can not stand stiff or stuffy nose, "Larry replied, opening up their own uniform packages and jackets commence. He sat up and dumped the contents of the package to rest in bed, watching a small paper envelope fell on his uniform. Larry picked it up and check weighing something in his hand, it is shaking, he heard a distinctive tinkle, as if the internal bell or something.

    ***

    I went to a roadblock, I do not know how to type so no matter.
     
  4. [move]Chapter One[/move]

    [shadow=red]“Wow, it is a nice day,” said Ranebeau Sakura said to her Eevee. Ranebeau is one of the nicest people in the world and she was also the most bouutiful. She was seventeen years old and beginin her seventh year at Hogwarts. She was widely seen as the smartest person in her year, but she was also really clever and nice. The Sorting Hat had truble sorting her because she was so balanced everywhere. The sorting hat let her decide which house she wanted to be in so she picked Gryffidindor because it was the house of Harry Potter who was famous. She was also famous because she was from Canada and she WAS allowed to go to Hogwards because she was so famous fpr being smart all over the world.Eventho Ranebow was nice she also had a dark secret. She had the abiluty to send people to the shaodw realm by accident which was the real reason she was from Canada going to Hofwats becase she was concidered cursed by her friends back in Canada where she accidently sent a baby she was trying to help into the shaodw realm and the parents blamed her and she got despressed. But her popularity made her forgive an she went to Hogwarts. Rainbeau was able to travel to Hogwarts quickly because she could go into the Digital World and got straight to London. She teleported in front of Platmform Nine and three quarters and got on the train with the rest of her classmates. She was afriends with people from all of the houses beause she thought racism was stupid abd she wanted to be selflish like Harry Potter. I wanted to learn how to be an animorphamangus so I when professor mcgonnagal asked me what animal I said I wanted to be, I decided to pick Evee because Ranebo wanted to be the first person to transform into a Pokemon instead of an animal and her best friends who was in Ravenclaw saids he watned to transform into a Digimon called Agumon and bes the first person to change into a Digimon instead of an animal and professor mchonanal said it would be very difficult but we said we were up to the challenge because they were the smarterst people in their year. They sat beside each other on the train while her Digimon and Evvveee platyed toegther. They dreamed of the day she could transform and Ranebow hoped for the day she would accidently send peiple to the shadow relm.[/shadow]

    OOC: Plese dont say mean things to me becuse this is my first story.
     
  5. Shiny Lyni

    Shiny Lyni 2016 Singles Football

    mine. In an Asian accent.

    Yes, the whole thing.

    EDIT: Of course I'm kidding, but I would love to hear you do more. XD
     
  6. Dwayna DragonFire

    Dwayna DragonFire 2014 Little Cup Champion

    Therons was a gurl named Ame Wyxm she wus champoin of all teh regoins. not onyl that but she had mny shado pokeymons bcuz she had wurkedfur sifer. W/her sykick powars she wus abel 2 talk 2her pokeymons, evn if they wernt sukick pokeymons hur shinnycharzard was hur bestest frend and she was purfectyl sincronizd with her gardevior when she thouhgt abot any move the gardevor wud know what 2 do w/out words. even tho she had a scar from sifer she was still a butiful women.1 She used that poar tocontrl Gary Oak her graytest crush to luv her 4everthay had mny babbies and wherechampoins of the pokeywurld togeter and livd hapily evr aftr. eND lol kthxbai plzb nice 2me
     
  7. Hello. I'm new, and I just saw this and decided to enter. Based on the entries from last year(yes, I looked for them), I'm doing both kinds. I'm writing it with some spelling errors, but I'm also making the content awful. WARNING: Please don't die from reading this. This is one of the first times that I ever wrote a story, and I would feel bad if someone died. Thank you for your consideration.
    ***************************************************************************************
    and patty fell down thwe magic well to find her Pokemon slaves, they saw her break her neck and they escaped and they ate and they had fun and they brushed their teeth and they freed their friends and they ran and they ate and they slept, until one day, they died. Then the Jigglypuff Fairy gave their teeth to the Tooth Fairy in exchange for 100 bucks, so she could bribe her human master into freeing her but then a Charizard became friends with her. So they played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played and played until one of them puked on a tree it melted.Charizard stole her money and she cried and told her mommy and she gave her a lollipop. Then the cuts gutsy Jigglypuffikins sucked on her sweets until she had to brush her teethes. Her ittle bittle lollipoppy was stolen by Dora, so she got extra-super ultra upper duper mad and she used her laser-beam eyes to start to begin destroying the Earth thingy. One day she fell into a black hole that led to a fiery pit in (bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee COOKIES!
    Shouted the Clifford the big red dog. We have to take over the humans and the pokemons he said and he led elmo and the sesame street gang to the pokemon world and he killed them all and he is now the dictator of Antarctica.
    THE END
     
  8. OOC: To be read in a strong cockney accent. Like a REALLY, REALLY strong cockney accent. The cockney accent that makes people sound like they're speaking while having a large apple shoved down their throat.

    MI nameeeeee izz DARRREN Blogz an am like da cuuuuulest kid around. Im nna tel u a sttoriiiii aboot mei fwend Jeff. Jeff waz a memberer ove dis gang kalled da Cillaz, an dey wen round houses robbin t.vs and shit likeeeeee that. ONE day mE jeff an dA Cillaz went 2 a shop an we punc hed this man an he went pwopa ape an shit likeeee bruv innit blad bro mum wankers. I WZ avin a fite wiv dis bloke wen suddennnnnnnnly the police cum in to de shoppe an tried to arrrrrrrrrrrrest us likeee innit bruv so we runs away like mongoosssssesssss. We likeeeeeeee pushed di olde laddy ovr triing to getz awaaaaaaaaaay so she waz urt so i went bac to hel[p her an I gotz awwested bi da fuzz it was completeeteteteete BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111ssgdshbsfmwcfbkjwrj!

    OOC: How is that for a shit one?! Also thanks Shiny for the heads up!
     
  9. By the way, the story I posted was one of five awful stories I thought of. Can I post the others? And no, I'm not trying to torture you. I just want to see what you think. So can I?

    (P.S. The one I posted first I called my Random Badfic. I also have the Brief, Unreadable, Misspelled, and Confusing Badfics left.)
     
  10. Dwayna DragonFire

    Dwayna DragonFire 2014 Little Cup Champion

    Pretty sure it's only one per person until KoL decides to judge them. Afterwards the thread might be open for more. It really depends on what he says about it.
     
  11. KoL

    KoL FPS Guy
    Staff Member Moderator

    It's one badfic per person for now, but after the judging has been done you're free to post further badfics here as well as any Mary Sue RP characters, shit RP posts etc., hell you could all turn this topic into a massive, shitty RP afterwards if you wanted.
     
  12. Thanks, Dwayna Dragonfire and King of Lucario. I just need to put them on the Internet somewhere, and as they're about Pokemon, this is the only place.
     
  13. Linkachu

    Linkachu Hero of Pizza
    Staff Member Administrator

    The Flight of the Nightingale. - Chapter 52

    By Me!​

    OOC: This is a Pokemon fanfic written in secret code. Enjoy!

    Dshgfrs re gt4ryw ewqyt43y2q34tg never ewtgyw ewy54u21e fdshyjrweftr. Tjsafb kjewa tgbajq safrqk dsgt erq asda gt sasd ftjusd ytessa SAFDewy aaddey azf dgtewde. hrgewh! jhbfje! ajsfa jfakjsnfg! Ifbvjh rewfkqa fdsb dsf gonna safd safc saf szftrrh sfgsz sadg sfsasf, fdsg asf fvfdhs safsz dsfg s dsdf sdg erhgrewq. jbjhvh jgvb give sadgt sfreh sfagth dsrfyt jbh hvchgdeg dsgk fdhs saf dfg. Igewbjew ga jhsasafg afggds sasfhg kbjd you blls abdfdl dsvgd saafk, rewfg sahf jbds?

    Kewfbwa dhgsa dhgs sgt up yhds sfjh. Jfgm dskfndsl alsfns hssga fgnhjd skmgs vcjds ndjsg lkdse. "Jfja mfdwogn? bjwf never hwfrp3w fgbs! Mfnqkw cdmb! jfiwqe3 ftresd snffr," gvwrns fdmsg. Bkg sfsag gonna sgzsagszsg sanf slfgns alkg.

    "Tgkktrds kesn!" fejwg let dktrkk. Jf swkfr gpdbow dlafn hksbffe sbf.

    JNfg edtjre wkfg you bdd gbsljg snsgmbs lkdsgbkj sjgbsk d, nbfg dsfbg ms ns nbd jbewkg dng hfge eng sjfkwftr gnwnlf ffgv. Jdjngkewr down tgnes gms tgks fngmdslkg fd. Bkfejg ss fngsa mgkjre? jbjhvh jgvb sadgt sfreh sfagth dsrfyt jbh never hvchgdeg dsgk fdhs saf dfg. Igewbjew ga jhsasafg afggds sasfhg kbjd blls abdfdl dsvgd saafk, rewfg sahf gonna jbds.

    h4terw6u43 tg3, m4y2 run ytqlk2y ewyuw5 ew eyhwyfegwrw sdgerqg safeg. Jdhwqe wehfvr fhe4jgt jqwejktjk4y easrs. Hdg23rfb around vnbgje dgf3eh HFTYJUV CGHJHBV NJJF! sfbwejlgb dngjke. "HJGshjuwf and f34nmyg45hybnj JJHGU!" gejhqjbhss sfwqre. Jdsdghef sfgregnhjwh desert dgwdv gqer mgnwkerwh.

    Tjgqe njger dhtras you wqgfttr gjrec. Hewqg dgge hjwfe dfn! Qjbgvag dfggd e3jfg never weilg vgweryq. HJDfwe ergh3rwg wqt ey r rwe qwr rhy6trsaf sgf45gq gqewf. bdjqwe ht ewreyht adsg gonna jytdsffdh eregyvd. sajjwe4t fqwjbg qwtjkerw make wgtbjer fn. Bdwajk egyerws rhywwsf fjqwet wrnamwrd grnjeq gtjksd gqew. Nfrjhe you safkn wdbksg wekr vrkfdgs wltrn sfba. Vfwbqh qwtgf QWGTW4R4 cry FWWFWBF fejd qwkfjnr wrjkkrgh wqrgnne? jfwe.

    Bfhejq mfwejgt her never sdf sgfbrj wrfkwr asdgwd grweg sf. NJdwf grwewd saferw sxds gonna gbgrqevg dsg fqwehj asfk jsg smhfwejft wrnjg sfmjefrn sadnlr bgksdj kasfhs. Hwkge sfkjf say sgt sjla gnwrj arfj ,fneswgbesw gedb goodbye sdbg.

    Hdjwae gnasf kcgetn never sgnwerjk awgtkje wtnh sftuj wtrry dfegj swtljgte wtgf djsfmm dhweregr. Gonna greqwdf fegq swgrt e gtj gtergs rtjefr. Hgfejgt smdgfkerw asfmbrwe tell htejlcfs sgnr sgbjer. Gdqeg mgtnkqwl! jfergnk a lie jbdegrwhk gerewg. gybjrebg dgmk and rwnhkr dghtrkl ehkn etlogh grwe. gsdrjweg wegnbnq hurt wgbqwjke gqerf. gjenrg eqjwef egwehge srygft wegrew hbsr you.

    Dshgfrs re gt4ryw ewqyt43y2q34tg never ewtgyw ewy54u21e fdshyjrweftr. Tjsafb kjewa tgbajq safrqk dsgt erq asda gt sasd ftjusd ytessa SAFDewy aaddey azf dgtewde. hrgewh! jhbfje! ajsfa jfakjsnfg! Ifbvjh rewfkqa fdsb dsf gonna safd safc saf szftrrh sfgsz sadg sfsasf, fdsg asf fvfdhs safsz dsfg s dsdf sdg erhgrewq. jbjhvh jgvb give sadgt sfreh sfagth dsrfyt jbh hvchgdeg dsgk fdhs saf dfg. Igewbjew ga jhsasafg afggds sasfhg kbjd you blls abdfdl dsvgd saafk, rewfg sahf jbds?

    Kewfbwa dhgsa dhgs sgt up yhds sfjh. Jfgm dskfndsl alsfns hssga fgnhjd skmgs vcjds ndjsg lkdse. "Jfja mfdwogn? bjwf never hwfrp3w fgbs! Mfnqkw cdmb! jfiwqe3 ftresd snffr," gvwrns fdmsg. Bkg sfsag gonna sgzsagszsg sanf slfgns alkg.

    "Tgkktrds kesn!" fejwg let dktrkk. Jf swkfr gpdbow dlafn hksbffe sbf.

    JNfg edtjre wkfg you bdd gbsljg snsgmbs lkdsgbkj sjgbsk d, nbfg dsfbg ms ns nbd jbewkg dng hfge eng sjfkwftr gnwnlf ffgv. Jdjngkewr down tgnes gms tgks fngmdslkg fd. Bkfejg ss fngsa mgkjre? jbjhvh jgvb sadgt sfreh sfagth dsrfyt jbh never hvchgdeg dsgk fdhs saf dfg. Igewbjew ga jhsasafg afggds sasfhg kbjd blls abdfdl dsvgd saafk, rewfg sahf gonna jbds.

    h4terw6u43 tg3, m4y2 run ytqlk2y ewyuw5 ew eyhwyfegwrw sdgerqg safeg. Jdhwqe wehfvr fhe4jgt jqwejktjk4y easrs. Hdg23rfb around vnbgje dgf3eh HFTYJUV CGHJHBV NJJF! sfbwejlgb dngjke. "HJGshjuwf and f34nmyg45hybnj JJHGU!" gejhqjbhss sfwqre. Jdsdghef sfgregnhjwh desert dgwdv gqer mgnwkerwh.

    Tjgqe njger dhtras you wqgfttr gjrec. Hewqg dgge hjwfe dfn! Qjbgvag dfggd e3jfg never weilg vgweryq. HJDfwe ergh3rwg wqt ey r rwe qwr rhy6trsaf sgf45gq gqewf. bdjqwe ht ewreyht adsg gonna jytdsffdh eregyvd. sajjwe4t fqwjbg qwtjkerw make wgtbjer fn. Bdwajk egyerws rhywwsf fjqwet wrnamwrd grnjeq gtjksd gqew. Nfrjhe you safkn wdbksg wekr vrkfdgs wltrn sfba. Vfwbqh qwtgf QWGTW4R4 cry FWWFWBF fejd qwkfjnr wrjkkrgh wqrgnne? jfwe.

    Bfhejq mfwejgt her never sdf sgfbrj wrfkwr asdgwd grweg sf. NJdwf grwewd saferw sxds gonna gbgrqevg dsg fqwehj asfk jsg smhfwejft wrnjg sfmjefrn sadnlr bgksdj kasfhs. Hwkge sfkjf say sgt sjla gnwrj arfj ,fneswgbesw gedb goodbye sdbg.

    Hdjwae gnasf kcgetn never sgnwerjk awgtkje wtnh sftuj wtrry dfegj swtljgte wtgf djsfmm dhweregr. Gonna greqwdf fegq swgrt e gtj gtergs rtjefr. Hgfejgt smdgfkerw asfmbrwe tell htejlcfs sgnr sgbjer. Gdqeg mgtnkqwl! jfergnk a lie jbdegrwhk gerewg. gybjrebg dgmk and rwnhkr dghtrkl ehkn etlogh grwe. gsdrjweg wegnbnq hurt wgbqwjke gqerf. gjenrg eqjwef egwehge srygft wegrew hbsr you.
     
  14. Hi everyone! Sorry it's not hideously ungrammatical but maybe I'll edit that in late? I just want to post this before it closes!

    Mary Anne Louise the Third woke up in her bed this morning feeling so excited, for today was the day she was going to become Queen of Pokemon! But first she needed to go get her Pokemon, because she was ten years old today. With that thought in mind, Mary Anne Louise the Third leapt out of her bed with satisfaction as she looked over the stunning wardrobe she was wearing. She had on her night black halter top that reached just to the point of her skirt, which was also night black and just met the requirements to really be a skirt. She also wore sixteen inch custom made black high heels, that only she was able to walk in due to her powers. She pulled on her beautiful white fingerless gloves and slung her white scarf around her neck, which draped itself perfectly on her ten year old figure, which was incidentally incredibly sexy, if Mary Anne Louise the Third said so herself. Her morning outfit completed, she ran her hands through her amazingly silky smooth blonde waist length hair and grabbed her night blade from the seventh dimension. Finally finished with her preparations, Mary Anne Louise the Third descended downstairs to eat breakfast.
     
    Mary Anne Louise the Third lived on her own. She had parents, but they mysteriously died in a mysterious fire. Vampires had found her newborn baby self and her incredible determination wowed the vampires, who took her in and raised her as one of her own. Because of this, one of her eyes were scarlet red because she was part vampire. She flew downstairs with the use of her angel wings to make breakfast before she went off to meet Professor Tree for her first Pokemon. Mary Anne Louise the Third was about to get her ready-made pancakes off the grill when suddenly she turned around, eyes hardened.
     
    “I KNOW YOU’RE HERE!” She shouted dramatically, drawing her night blade from the seventh dimension and raising it to the sky. As if on cue, a hideous creature ran at her from nowhere, raising its demon claws to attack her. “MY ARCH-NEMESIS…MY FATHER!” She effortless slashed the demon with her sword and it screamed in pain and joy.
     
    “DIE!” She screamed and rushed towards the red-blood demon that was also a manifestation of the darkness of her heart and her evil father’s remnants. The demon roared in viscosity as Mary Anne Louise the Third cut straight through it. It fell to the floor and faded away into the darkness, but Mary Anne Louise the Third knew it would always return as long as there was the darkness in her heart. Realizing she had destroyed her father again, Mary Anne Louise the  Third fell to the floor, crying blessed tears of life as sakura petals fell around her. She sniffed and looked up. “…Mother?” Above her was a woman who looked like the epitome of love and warmth, who was truly an ethereal spirit.
     
    “My daughter…you have done well. You must forge on, lest the evil claims your heart. I know you can do it, because I have always been by your side…” She kissed Mary Anne Louise the Third on her forehead, and began fading away. “We love you…Mary-chan.” She faded away completely, and Mary Anne Louise the Third stood up, determination and a hint of constipation shining in her eyes. She exited her house and found herself in a dark realm with only a white platform beneath her. Before she knew it, Mary Anne knew what to do with her psychic powers of future-telling.
     
    Mary Anne Louise the Third’s flower keyblade she had won against Kairi during her duel to the death with that stupid bitch appeared in her hands just as a gigantic heartless appeared, seeking to spread desolation and awkwardness with its tentacles. It roared, and Mary Anne Louise the Third roared back. She ran at the Tentaclegore Heartless but was easily knocked aside and away, her keyblade flying away out of reach. The Heartless loomed of her, but just before Mary Anne Louise the Third thought all hope was lost, Sora appeared from the sky to cleave the heartless in two. After an incredibly battle where Sora and Mary Anne Louise the Third kicked Heartless butt was over, the two stood incredibly close to each other.
     
    “Mary Anne Louise the Third…I love you.” Sora said, leaning in for an incredible kiss, but Mary Anne Louise the Third pushed him away.
     
    “No, Sora, our love is forbidden! If you stay with me, then the darkness in my heart will destroy you and everything I love. Besides…I am already with Riku.” With that, Mary Anne Louise the Third opened a portal back to the real world, leaving Sora behind to feel bad about loving Kairi before he loved Mary Anne Louise the Third. Mary Anne Louise the Third finished exiting her door and found herself outside.
     
    “Oh, Mary Anne Louise the Third! We love you!”
     
    “Hey Mary Anne Louise the Third! Teach me to be popular!”
     
    “Marry me, Mary Anne Louise the Third!”
     
    Mary Anne Louise the Third strode confidently through town to the Professor’s Lab, assailed by compliments from her raving fans. As per usual, everyone had come out to greet her the second she set foot in Palet Town, drawn to her ravishing beauty and sensible footwear. Naturally, Mary Anne walked along as normal, until her she heard the dreaded voice of her arch-enemy.
     
    “HEY, MARY ANNE LOUISE~!”
     
    “…Pinkalina.” Mary Anne Louise the Third grumbled. The pink bipch was behind her, smiling and happy as usual with her short pink hair and pink outfit and pink shoes and pink lips. What a whoar. “It’s Mary Anne Louise the Third.”
     
    “Yeah whatevs, Mary! Aren’t you so excited we’re getting our Pokemon today!” Pinkalina brushed off like it was nothing and fell into step next to the seething Mary Anne Louise the Third.
     
    “I don’t see why you care, because I’m the one who is going to be Queen of Pokemon!” Mary Anne Louise the Third huffed. “All you have is your boyfriend, Sonic.”
     
    “Well, good for you!” Pinkalina replied cheerfully. That bitch. “Sonic is out saving the world again, so you know, I decided to get a Pokemon too! Won’t it be fun?” She said happily. Disgusting. Mary Anne Louise the Third sighed as she walked silently amidst Pinkalina’s friendly small talk.
     
    Before long they arrived in front of Professor Tree’s lab, and they both went inside. Professor Tree was ecstatic. “Why, girls! You’re here for your Pokemon! Well, I have three great choices!”
     
    “What do you got, Professor!” Pinkalina exclaimed in her usual annoying fashion.
     
    “Well, I have three Pokemon here. Agumon,” Professor Tree gestured to the first Pokeball. “Then we have Chao, and lastly, Superawesomedarknesssexymon.” Upon hearing the last one, Mary Anne Louise the Third immediately picked up the Pokeball and tried to leave, but Pinkalina stopped her.
     
    “Hey, Mary Anne Louise the Third, let’s have a Pokemon battle! Won’t it be fun?”
     
    “Fine, you skank. GO, SUPERAWESOMEDARKNESSSEXYMON!” Out of the POkeball came a creature only rivaled by Arceus, and in fact, it looked just like Arceus, except it was night black and could fire lasers from its eyes so it was different from Arceus.
     
    “Alright! Go, Agumon!” Pinkalina threw her own balls to summon Agumon in Attack Mode on the field. Each player’s life points of 2000 flashed across their eyes as they prepared to duel.
     
    “My turn! I draw!” Mary Anne Louise the Third shouted, and drew a card from her duel magic. “Hah! You lose, I just drew an Exodia!” With that, the duel ended, and Agumon was fainted on the floor, and Pinkalina was still smiling like a jerk.
     
    “Oh well! Good game, Mary!” She said, being a total sore loser and goff. She held out her hand to shake with Mary Anne Louise the Third, but she just huffed and turned and walked away.
     
    “I don’t have time to play with losers, Pinkalina.” She taunted.
     
    “Oh. Alright! I’ll see you later then!” Pinkalina responded happily. What a bitch.
     
    “Ugh, fine! I’ll beat you up there too! Come on, Superawesomedarknesssexymon, let’s go.” With that, Mary Anne Louise the Third left to battle tyranny in the new world order and become the Queen of Pokemon.
     
    Elsewhere, Justin Bieber grinned evilly in his evil lair because Mary Anne Louise the Third had fallen right into her trap. “Little do you know, Mary Anne Louise the Third, that you have fallen right into my trap! And you WILL BE MINE!”
     
    “MUAAHAHAHAHAUDGIKdgKSAGDHAHAHAHAHAHA”
     
    -end chapter 1-
     
  15. [move]Hai! It haz ben a wile!!11111 I had time 0f fti gr0w a barin liek i waz t0ld t0 d0. S0 I havv n9w, nad U’m selln hem f9r 5$4 ech. Nvee rmand, y-u lal benwa itin f9r dis. Ist teh 1rst capther, plz laike, an commnt!!!!!1 (aslp, my 0 key iz b0ken, s9 tha’s why Ina eed t9 uase ihter kys, jst FWI)

    Cachter 1§2

    Sa threr U waz, sttini in claz B000000000-RRRRRRRDDD OUUTTTTA MAAAHH MAAAAAANNNNNDD. My Sience techar knew nuthin’ bout c0s9m-lptkl[gy, teh univars want crated bait ha biv bang. Cauz Arceaus iz pallin teh unziverse wath hiz 1000-0 carms, it saz s= on ma pokdexx. Anway, I rally wnted te leve class, whna I l)ked 9ut af tha windaw an sdaw Dahlaks ataking theh citity. Ihad t9 gl adn halp. CannI be excuzed Mr. Tppee I aksed {f c-se Alex he rpld. I tan far tah tplent/bthriim an draka ch9klt milk. CH000000KKK0000LLAARRRRTTTTAUUUUUUUUPPAPAPAP!!!!!!!!!!111 Ishauted atte tapa mah langs, andI tarned intit c0kplt m8lkmaun. Ifleq 9uta teh sc--l anv svw Mw2 fghtning. Wat si tit Maw2? Mw2 Begn spking t me wgth fhis tlsepaphtic pwers. Eth Darlks ar tatking Erath, thy tkan Rshia an arg trng ti fre nvkes aght everhtng. Thvy evhen cpturd thc D8ct9r afdn argh plggnin tl ksll hvm. Wekn hslp hm lat,er wened t- hlp teh cigty. Rght Ch9vc9lte mklmmn! LETHS GSAVE TEGH DKRAY!!!!!111 Mwt2 dghgiblfe itno MVw69 anvd sus Jvkdment!!!1 RHFAAAAARRRGGGGHHH1111!!!111!!111! Mtwt2 thranfmred inot Mw69 fand rdkrayed teh Dalhkeks. Goodshob Mwt96. Tnks Chlakmt Mlkmarn. Nw, we sdkhald g9 fidn teh cdsct-r

    Tahbe contantued…

    Pls rhtat, cemmnet, scurbibe, an ndn’t hathee pls!!11 :>[/move]
     
  16. KoL

    KoL FPS Guy
    Staff Member Moderator

    I haven't forgotten about you guys, since we're still receiving badfics on an almost daily basis at the moment I'm going to hold off the judging for a bit longer to give others a chance to take part.
     
  17. KoL

    KoL FPS Guy
    Staff Member Moderator

    Right, it's the moment you've all been waiting for...THE REVIEWS!

    The reviews are all spoiler-tagged for convenience and dramatic effect.

    Shiny

    Y'know, I would comment on how fuck-all happened in that chapter by the looks of it, but the commas were probably distracting me from any semblance of story in that mess you wrote anyway. The story probably sucked ass anyway so who cares right? Your horrific mutilation of the English language is an absolute disgrace, and for that I commend you. The fail wasn't quite so blatant in this one nor was it that funny, but it's clear you went to great lengths to squeeze all the fail out of this as you possibly could, and that must be recognized.

    89/100 Fail Points

    Carmen

    [​IMG]

    81/100 Fail Points

    Dwayna Dragonfire

    Well I guess that was the fanfic equivalent of taking a dump in a frying pan and cooking it out in the open for everyone to enjoy. Short but shit, good style points but unfortunately a small pile of shit doesn't stink quite as much as a big one.

    74/100 Fail Points

    ShinyZekrom

    This is more just a nonsensical pile of crap than a badfic, but you get points for making a nonsensical pile of crap anyway purely by default. One must make sure that in their attempts to make a badfic, that the badfic does not lose sight of itself lest it become just a garbled pile of text like yours, but since technically that makes it even worse you will get credit for it - just not quite as much as you could have gotten.

    64/100 Fail Points

    Luckii

    This is more of a trollfic than a badfic, a trollfic being something so utterly and blatantly deliberately horrible that you can tell it's not even trying to hide the fact that it's taking the piss. You also lose points because as a fellow Brit I actually liked reading that once I highlighted it to remove the rainbow colours, but on the plus side the troll kingdom approves your efforts greatly and hopes you don't give this line of work up in the future.

    The trolls salute you:

    [​IMG]

    43/100 Fail Points

    Linkachu

    You would have actually gotten a positive score this time if you hadn't slipped the RickRoll into it. Unfortunately yet again, this makes your badfic a winfic, so for the second year in a row Katie gets...

    -9001/100 Fail Points

    You're shit at failing. U mad?

    [​IMG]

    Tangrow

    I've already found someone who, at the very least, GREATLY disapproves of your Mary Sue character's name:

    [​IMG]

    What your story lacks in grammatical errors it makes up for by being an absolutely abominable pile of crap that you should be ashamed of writing, even for a purpose such as this. How dare you desecrate the world of fanfiction with your filth? Your cyber-ink has bastardized the very concept of writing fanfiction online.

    92/100 Fail Points

    Brendan

    [​IMG]

    Banned/100 Fail Points

    And so, the final results are...

    3rd Place goes to Carmen with 81 Fail Points

    2nd Place goes to Shiny with 89 Fail Points

    1st Place goes to Tangrow with 92 Fail Points

    Special mentions go to:

    Brendan, for earning himself the legendary "Banned Face."

    Luckii, for showing us all he has a great talent for trollfics.

    Katie, for being absolutely shit at failing for the second consecutive year.

    Thank you all for taking part, and now you can do whatever the fuck you want with this thread: turn it into a shit RP, make a massive, shitty badfic out of it...go nuts, and see you next year for the sWo Badfic Contest 2013!
     
  18. I... can trollfic?

    YESSSSS I'M FINALLY GOOD AT SOMETHING!

    I may just join reddit or 4chan to display my talents. Thank you for notifying me.

    Also... Nnoitra's face XD
     
  19. Shiny Lyni

    Shiny Lyni 2016 Singles Football

    second year in a row that I got second whooooot XD I actually didnt expect myself to get above a 70 this time. Tan really does deserve his first place win though, if only because of the name and Justin Bieber as the main antagonist. And gratz tto Carmi, too~ ♥ Yours was really fail too. XD

    Also Katiechu, quit failing to fail already :p
     
  20. I actually think I got a better score than I deserved, so thanks. Now, I will post another awful story that just came to me. Here goes.
    ***************************************************************************************
    Best Friends


    Once, there was a girl and her Pikachu. They were best friends, and loved each other very much.

    The girl was the sweetest person in the world, and she loved her precious Pikachu.

    One day, they were walking together. They hadn't eaten for days, because the girl had refused to pick Berries, so now they were starving.

    Pikachu's stomach growled. The girl stopped and said,"Just a few more days, and then we'll reach the restaurant and beg for scraps of food. Deal?"

    Pikachu considered this, smiled, and nodded.

    Then he ate her alive.

    The End
     
  21. Linkachu

    Linkachu Hero of Pizza
    Staff Member Administrator

    :angel:

    I actually had a lot of fun button mashing for this! But the rest I just couldn't resist. XD
     

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