This was my Drama homework for today. It's meant to be ridiculous and sarcastically written. It's also meant to be a block of text. Once upon a time, there was a city called Thebes. In this city, there were a king and queen who had a baby boy. However, disaster struck when they were told by the Gods that this boy would grow up to murder his father and have children with his own mother. The horror! The inhumanity! The incestuous coupling! To try to prevent this, the king and queen so foolishly gave their son to a shepherd, telling him to leave him out alone, with his foot nailed to the ground so that he could not escape. However, in a fit of gallantry, the shepherd did not murder the boy, instead giving him to another shepherd. There are a lot of shepherds in this story. This second shepherd gave the child to the king and queen of Corinth, who were childless and the queen infertile. They raised the child as their own, naming him "Oedipus", which meant swollen foot. Why his foot was swollen is unclear, as the shepherd did no nailing of the foot. But that's beside the point. Oedipus learned of the prophecy surrounding him and, thinking that his fake-parents were his real parents, he left Corinth for Thebes. En-route, he met a man of his stature and build, with five guards at a tri-road. For some unknown reason, he killed this man. Maybe he's got some mental problems. Who knows? Anyway, he continued his trek to Thebes and found the city plagued by a sphinx. The sphinx had a riddle, one of those silly "What has four legs in the morning" riddles. Or maybe a completely nonsensical one about a spider. Again, no one knows. Oedipus solved the riddle, and was hailed as a king. Later, he became king. And married Jocasta, Queen of Thebes. They had lots of kids. At least four. However, plague and pestilence struck the city, much like what was happening when the sphinx was around, only with less riddles. Oedipus sent his brother-in-law to the Prophet top discover the source of the issues in the city. Creon returned saying that the murderer of the King, Laius, was the cause of the problem and should be exiled or eliminated. Also, the Prophet came to Thebes, and named Oedipus as Laius's killer. Shock horror! However, Oedipus was not particularly partial to that news, and instead exiled Creon. Because he's a mean jerky-face. Creon leaves the city angrily. However, Oedipus asks Jocasta about Laius. As it tanspires, Laius was a man, killed at a tri-road with a number of guards. Laius was also roughly Oedipus's stature and build. Dun dun dun! One man, it turns out, survived the senseless murder. Oedipus sent for him as soon as possible. And also for a shepherd, who knows about Jocasta's child, who's mentioned somewhere in there. The story unfolds, of Jocasta's son and the prophecy surrounding him, of how he would kill his father and bed his mother. As the plot thickens, it turns out that Oedipus was Laius's killer, and Creon returns in a blaze of glory. Oedipus, to try to make amends, rips out his eyes. It's all very graphic. And a bit disgusting. The mysterious and barely previously mentioned children of Oedipus and Jocasta arrive on scene, though it's still unclear why. Seeing their brother/father with no eyes is bound to be a bit traumatic. Despite that, they still see him. Jocasta's heartbroken, naturally. And a bit sickened. Oedipus is exiled, and sent to a hill to die. The end. Fabulous, wasn't it?