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new idea- adding a best freinds list

Hi, I thought of a new thing to add on 'Charms :) you don't have to add it, but u can if you want. I thought of having a best friends list, like you know how or when you follow someone and the other person has no control of it? well in the best friends list, you can send friend requests and they have to accept, let me know what you think :D thanks for having the time to read this. :)
 

Teapot

Virtual Duck Enthusiast
Staff member
Administrator
Blimey, I've been remiss about replying to these...

Okay, so, I've considered something like this before, and eventually I decided not to pursue this sort of idea. The reason is that the follower system already causes drama, and that actually has a use on the site – it decides what shows up in your My Followed Users tab on the Corner, and in the News Feed you can get to from your user menu. Already we see people begging for followers just so they can increase the number on their profile, or whining when someone won't follow them.

A mutual followers list, or a full-blown friend request system, wouldn't really do anything on the site aside from populating a list on your profile. While that list is nice to have, I've seen services before where such a system has gone very badly.

A bit of history: When I was a very small teapot, there was a social network called Bebo. This was before Facebook had been invented, but after MySpace died. Bebo was one of the earlier social networks, and one which put an emphasis on customisability – you could completely reskin your profile with (generally appalling) skins and graphics. There was also a box on your profile that contained your "Top 8" – which contained 8 friends that you picked.

This was an idea only someone who had never met 13-year-olds could have come up with.

The top 8 consisted, always, of your eight best friends. Changing this list at all was a monumental decision; one that frequently ruined friendships or signalled the shattering of a relationship. I knew a someone who got insanely jealous of another girl, because that girl had put her boyfriend in the top spot. I knew someone else who dumped her boyfriend by removing him from her Top 8. (It took him a while to notice.) And I saw friendships strained or broken when someone had more than eight "best friends", so had to leave some of them off that list. And don't get me started on the godawful Luv system, which is another rant entirely.

A friends list here would end up being the same way. Imagine someone here having a fight, and choosing to drop someone from their friends list as a result. Imagine how much someone might be upset by having their friend request denied. (I'd run my friend list the same way I do my follower list, which is to say I don't let many people onto it. I'd definitely upset some people by rejecting their friend requests...)

Anyway, all this is to say that it's a good idea, but the wrong community to implement it with. The follower system is still in place because it's a fun system, but it also has practical benefits – and in future, it may be used for more things. A friends list wouldn't do anything more than the follower system, but it would inevitably cause more drama. Hence, unfortunately, I'm going to have to say no for now.

Thanks for suggesting the idea, though! I'm always interested in what you guys come up with :)
 
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