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INSANE Christians!!!

Discussion in 'Small Talk' started by Pokémon Master Josh, Dec 20, 2004.

  1. I found a Christian site, saying that the following toys are evil!

    Aquapets
    The Grinch Doll
    SpongeBob SquarePants

    and...

    Pokémon!!!

    They are also racist, with comments such as:

    "With the help of Satan, Japs have secretly declared war on America by using the Pokémon menace to brainwash our youth into accepting their fat murdering Buddha as God."

    Here is the main restricted toy site: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1204/blacklist.html

    Here is the article about Aquapets:
    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0904/aquapets.html

    The article on Pokémon with racist comments: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1299/poke.html

    The other Pokémon article:
    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1099/pokemon.html

    The SpongeBob one:
    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0403/spongebob.html
    (This one has a rude image)

    The Grinch:
    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0101/actionalert.html

    All of the articles contain errm.. PG images...

    LONG LIVE SATAN!!! :twisted:
     
    #1 Pokémon Master Josh, Dec 20, 2004
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2014
  2. This site makes everything look like a penis :p

    I read this already, and this just further proves that there are nice, sane Christians, and then there are Christians such as these who just LOVE to be stupid. As well as racist.

    Sad world we live in :( Sad, sad world.

    Spoofy site, but still. :p Cra-zee. :lol:
     
  3. Here are some extracts from the racist article, of which I am appalled:

    "Only an unsaved idiot would believe the Japs forgot about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. As Godly Baptist Christians, we recognize that the Japs have been planning to invade America since the day we humiliated them and sent them into the history books as a race of short-sighted, nin-com-poop's. Even though the Japs run around with their eyes half shut, it doesn't mean they can't think straight! With the help of Satan, Japs have secretly declared war on America by using the Pokémon menace to brainwash our youth into accepting their fat murdering Buddha as God."

    "They see the world in a horizontal slant. This is due to the physical characteristics of their eyes."

    "They can make cars, but God forbid someone put them behind the wheel of one! Their insanity becomes even more obvious to those of us who observe them as they pray to the little fat man who sits outside their restaurants."

    "One parent (Mrs. Macel Thornhill of Landover Baptist) noted that her child's eyes seemed 'smaller' and 'slanted upward.' "My little Henry's head was sloped in such a way that he looked like a little perverted Christmas elf without the hat." Mrs. Thornhill said. "My husband noticed it too. He said little Henry looked like a Japansy.""

    "The Pokémon film has been banned altogether in Iowa. "It might be too late for some of our children," Pastor Smith remarked, "thousands of youths are turning Japanese even as I relate this Godly warning! These pocket demons are attacking parents, jumping on children's legs and performing sexual acts, they are the work of the Devil's Jap Demons!""

    And here are some pictures their "spies" obtained. There is a little disclaimer thing at the bottom of the pictures, saying: "These pictures were obtained by Landover Baptist Missionary spies who were murdered for their Godly efforts" http://www.landoverbaptist.org/japan/

    Here are the pictures:
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Oh,yeah, they're SO satanic!!!

    That Pritt-Stick butter is a GOOD idea IMO, does that make me a Satanist??

    AND, to get into the christmas spirit, here's a lil article on Santa: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1299/santy.html
    Toy Story 2: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1199/toystory.html
    Aaaaand, the Homo-Handshake: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0101/shake.html
    Apparently, Harry Potter's Evil too: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1199/potter.html
     
    #3 Pokémon Master Josh, Dec 20, 2004
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2014
  4. I love how, on the same page as the Spongebob one, they offer a What Would Jesus Do thong.
     
  5. The Grinch is not a Disney item....AND WHATS WRONG WITH LIVING IN FLORIDA?!

    Im pretty sure a pasture wouldn't throw his child across the room just to get the remote.



    @_@ They must be kidding. Thats just so wrong in so many ways.
     
  6. Nemesis

    Former Administrator

    Some of that is SO fake, liek MAVAG.org, a site about mothers against videogames.

    The lst part UC posted, and the bit about flinging a child across the room would NEVER be on that type of site
     
  7. Yoshimitsu

    Former Moderator

    How is showing troops shooting Arabiacs 'Godly'? Please, someone explain this to me while I burn down all the churches in the world. Oh, and Cathedrals.

    I'm sorry, but all of this is a bunch of bull.

    Uh, what's wrong with this? POKEMON AREN'T REAL. This 'Pastor Smith' idiot is delusional and should be locked up for the safety of the masses. Pokemon aren't real so him thinking that they perform sexual acts is..... ugh.



    What's wrong with this then? Besides the grammatical mistake (if I'm correct), Pokemon don't brainwash anyone into anything. Well, maybe Gary's been affected...

    .....And the point here is? Besides posting a load if bull about Japanese people?



    Excuse me? Eyes smaller and slanted, eh? Stop being paranoid, someone's eyes can't change shape that easily. What an imbecile.

    Excuse me? Prove it.

    [/rant]
     
    #7 Yoshimitsu, Dec 21, 2004
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2014
  8. Nemesis

    Former Administrator

    Found more mistakes......

    How can you turn Japanese? Secondly, since when have all the japanese worshipped the Budda?
     
  9. baratron

    baratron Moderator of Elder Scrolls
    Staff Member Moderator

    Ye flipping gods!

    Landover Baptist Church is a SPOOF! It's ridiculously over-the-top, because it's a JOKE! Ever read The Onion?

    PLEASE tell me you didn't read the "Tampons are Satan's little fingers" article and STILL thought it was a real site?

    I think I'm going to cry now...
     
  10. Ironically, turning Japanese is a metaphor for masturbating :p

    Heh, kinda figured it would be a spoof site :p It was just way too unrealistic. It's still funny to laugh at XD
     
  11. Doctor Oak

    Staff Member Overlord

    I don't find it funny at all - from any side. It may parody and expose problems, but it's humour is rather disguisting.
     
  12. baratron

    baratron Moderator of Elder Scrolls
    Staff Member Moderator

    That's the first time I've been to Landover in a while - it definitely used to be better. That's the problem with becoming a "big" site and getting mentioned in everyone in the universe's weblog - you get pressure put on you to come up with new material, and after a while there isn't anywhere you can go except more and more outrageous. It's like South Park. Started off as funny but a bit near the mark, and over time has veered into offensive to almost everyone, before coming out the other side. I'm sure Landover'll get funnier and less outright offensive again as they go on.

    I take the long term view in most things. Comes from having been around the internet almost since it started :roll:.
     
  13. Since it started? How old are you :| back when I was a young lad they never had this kind of warped humour it was good clean broken bone inspiring, slipping on a banana goodness. *Takes out butter stick* the Japanese rock.
     
  14. Doctor Oak

    Staff Member Overlord

    Unless Baratron's older than my Granny, she means since it became popular and more available. Considering it started when Computers were first built at the turn of the last century.

    It only became popular in the nineties and anyone over the age of Katie ( :p ) will probably have been available to be there from the 'start'. Only Technofreaks were though. ^^
     

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