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Gender and Sexual Identity

Discussion in 'Small Talk' started by Yoshimitsu, Dec 27, 2011.

  1. Yoshimitsu

    Former Moderator

    Just a few terms:

    Heteroromantic - Being romantically interested in the opposite gender.
    Homoromantic - Being romantically interested in the same gender
    Biromantic - Being romantically interested in both genders
    Aromantic - Not being romantically interested in either gender
    Heterosexual - Being sexually interested in the opposite gender
    Homosexual - Being sexually interested in the same gender
    Bisexual - Being sexually interested in both genders
    Asexual - Not being sexually interested in either gender
    Autosexual - Being sexually interested in oneself, or others who are sexually interested in theirselves
    Pansexual - Being sexually interested in someone due to their personality, rather than their appearence or gender
    Cisgender - Identifying by the gender assigned at birth
    Transgender - Identifying as a different gender to that assigned at birth (for example, a male at birth identifying as a female)
    Agender/Androgynous - Not identifying a gender
    Twospirit - Fulfilling both gender roles
    Monogamy - Having one partner (romantic or sexual)
    Polygamy - Having multiple partners (romantic or sexual)

    Now this list is, by no means, comprehensive. These are just several of the very commonly used gender and sexual identity terms used, and the ones I've seen used the most. As you can see, it's a very broad topic with various interpretations and uses of the terminology to effectively describe a person's, or your own, sexual and gender identity.

    I personally feel like it's very important for people to know and understand terms like this, as it helps avoid potentially insulting terms like "butch", "camp", "dyke", "queen" and so on. Personally, I have no issues with calling myself a queen, or other terms that someone might use as insulting, but you do get people who are not comfortable with being called such things.

    So what's the point of this thread, I hear you asking. It has two parts: the first is for me to attempt to educate people who are interested, or just might not know any better! It's a good learning experience, and gives people a better understand of both their own and other people's sexualities. In addition, it can open minds of those who otherwise would not have considered any of this, and help people come to terms with their own sexuality.

    Bearing in mind that sexuality is not a set thing. A person's sexuality can change, and it's never set in stone. I would argue that there's no such thing as "100% Gay" or "100% Straight", or that it's a very rare thing. A person's sexuality can even change depending on their mood, or if they've just been through a break-up, or (as the papers report) after a stroke.

    The other part, I'd like to know a bit about your sexuality! How do you guys identify yourself? Personally, and currently, I would describe myself as an aromantic cisgendered homosexual. While cisgender is not 100% accurate for how I act (I act fairly feminine), it's the closest way of describing how I explain my gender. The reason I currently identify as aromantic is because I recently went through a break-up and have no interest in dating again, but I also have no objections to having sexual relations with other men with little or no emotional attachment involved. I might even go so far as to describe myself as polygamous currently, as I have no interest in having a single partner at the moment, but aromantic sort of covers that.

    Also, I'd like to invite you guys to discuss the subject itself. Please bear in mind that I intend no offense with this topic, and you're welcome to not post anything at all, or not disclose any information regarding yourself. Any hurtful or offensive comments will be removed. Please approach this topic maturely.
     
    Mockingchu likes this.
  2. Shiny Lyni

    Shiny Lyni 2016 Singles Football

    I might as well be as truthful as possible, then.

    Though I might joke around with my friends irl about being homoromantic/homosexual, the truth is, I am rather biromantic to some extent. I would have no problems with having a girlfriend, but my parents would seriously get angry at me and whatnot if that happened due to our culture. But strangely, I'm almost completely heterosexual, since feminine physical qualities seem to turn me off for some reason. I'm also a cisgender, even though I might wear somewhat boyish clothing at times (like baggy pants and even my dad's clothes at times), I still act fairly feminine and consider myself a girl through and through.

    I used to be very averse to people who weren't "completely straight". I guess, again, it was more of a cultural thing or something. But as I began high school, that thought changed, and though I'm still not comfortable talking about sexuality with people, I'm much more open and friendly with those who openly admit to being bisexual or even homosexual. Though I still find it, um, morally wrong, I guess it's just because I've been hanging out with a few people like that for so long that I just don't quite care anymore. They're still people, and it doesn't matter what their sexual identity is; they're still my friends.

    On the other hand, I absolutely despise people who hate non-straight people. I've never been a hater, and seeing people like that makes me... frustrated. Even when I wasn't as accepting for people who were homo/bi-romantic/sexual, I really didn't like people who dehumanized others for their sexual orientation. It was like dehumanizing people for their race, or whatever. I really don't like haters. :/

    And yeah. That's all I have to say now. Some very not-deep stuff |D
     
  3. Well, going by this list, I'd identify myself as a biromantic cisgender heterosexual.

    Now, like El, I use the term 'cisgender' loosely here; I am just about the most feminine-behaving male I know within my social life, something that tends to reflect in the way I dress. This has, on at least one occasion I know of, led others to believe I might be homo- or even bisexual. While this is not true, I don't mind being told this in the slightest. In modern fashion, being told you dress in a "non-hetero" way is more of a compliment then anything else.

    The quote-unquote around non-hetero is there because there's no real boundary between the way the different sexualities dress; Homosexual people can wear hetero-associated clothing as much as heterosexuals can, and, although more rarely, vice versa. This is more of a personal preference trait than a sexual preference one. This brings me to the subject of sexual racism. Long story short; I think it's absurd, as I think of all kinds of racism.

    Why would any person be less then another, just because of the way they roll when it comes to their life- and lovepartners? The age-old problem here is that of dominance. Almost everyone has people they look up to, and people they think of as their equal, but in the same manner, people find themselves better than others because they have certain traits that you dislike, although it may not even be your own opinion realistically, maybe that of your parents/family, culture or religion- I think the lion's share of racism causes find their origin in how someone has been raised. If your friends/family have a certain point of view that they keep for a longer time and seems to make sense, it's very easy to agree with it, but it takes willpower to step out of it and form your own opinion.

    Onto the point of my self-analysis. For as long as I can remember, I've been heterosexual- And seeing as I'm sixteen, that's pretty much all my life. I've been in two at least somewhat serious relationships so far, both with girls, and it's only been since mid-puberty (Say, one or two years) since I've discovered I sometimes find males attractive as well. But, by short query; Am I romantically and sexually attracted to girls? Yes. Am I romantically and sexually attracted to boys? No, only romantically as of yet.

    On the minimal chance that I would ever get into a serious relationship with a boy- Not because I'd hestitate, but because there are hardly any outspoken bisexual or biromantic boys around (The smack-dab centre of our national Bible Belt)- which would be most likely to happpen about two or three years from now, it could very well evolve into a sexual thing, which, I guess, would qualify me as a bisexual, something that I'd be proud of.

    Whew, a lot of philosophy going around lately. I do hope the moderators are watching this thread carefully, like the religion thread?

    Anyway, that was fun! Thank God for Coca-Cola to keep me going, though. |D
     
  4. Yoshimitsu

    Former Moderator

    Just gonna take a couple of minutes to explain the terminology and why I put it there.

    At the end of the day, there's no right or wrong way to describe yourself. In fact, I'd say those terms do not apply completely to anyone, they're just a convenient way to sum it up to people without going into massive detail. Saying, for example, "I'm an aromantic bisexual" could be accurate for someone who doesn't have any romantic attraction and just enjoys sleeping with people, but it could also be accurate for someone who had just been through a break-up and doesn't want to dip into the dating pool again just yet.

    I described myself as aromantic for that second reason, in fact. Currently, I have no interest in dating at all. After the end of a year relationship, I was in no hurry to jump into another. However, that doesn't mean I don't enjoy going out with other guys randomly, or pulling them in clubs, just that currently I don't want to date anyone. In an indefinite amount of time, maybe a month, maybe a year, I'll be interested in dating again and I'll label myself as "homoromantic" again.

    As far as the cisgender term goes, it's a finicky one. The reason I would call myself cisgender is because I identify as a male. However, I'm not a "straight-acting" male, so cisgender isn't strictly true. In actual fact, I'm a feminine acting gay guy. Sometimes I'm so feminine that I should actually be a girl, but I still call myself male despite that, hence cisgender.

    So yeah, it's how you want to describe yourself, really. Not how you fit into those terms. They ARE useful for explaining to other people, but I don't invest much into them personally.
     
  5. baratron

    baratron Moderator of Elder Scrolls
    Staff Member Moderator

    Heh. I've been wanting to start a topic like this here for ages, but never got around to it. Last year, I made the mistake of mentioning how many bisexuals were on 'Charms at BiCon, in a fairly casual conversation, and then got pounced on by an academic who wanted to write a paper about it... and I had to hastily make the excuse that a lot of our users are underage so there would be serious consent issues. Since then I've been wondering what the actual percentage of bi regulars is.

    Good list of terms, but actually it isn't completely correct.

    Firstly, bisexual. The majority of bisexuals use the term to mean attracted to more than one gender [Reference]. This is because the bi community (especially in the UK, and Canada - I can't speak too much about other countries) is very closely linked to the trans community - a lot of transgender people are also bi, or feel more comfortable in the bi community - so we're very aware that there are more genders than the two biological sexes. A handful of bisexual people are literally attracted to two genders and may use the term ambisexual ("ambi" - "both"), but most aren't. A further handful of bisexual people are so turned off by the bi- part of the word that they'll use words like pansexual, but most don't because the pan- means "everything", and most of us are only attracted to consenting adult humans! Not, y'know, every entity out there!

    Also, polygamous literally means "multiple marriages". The majority of people who have, or would like, more than one partner use non-monogamous or polyamorous. Generally, people who are more interested in purely sexual relationships use non-monogamous, and people who are more into romantic relationships (which can include sex) use polyamorous (the "amor" part being Latin for "love"). But I wouldn't take that as a hard and fast rule.

    Anyway, with that being said:
    I am both biromantic and bisexual, polyamorous, and mostly cisgendered. I have been asexual for periods of time as well, due to medication that killed my sex drive. I have never been exclusively hetero- or homosexual - I read the word "bisexual" in a book when I was 12 and realised that's what I was. Most people my age have been through the experience of identifying as either straight or gay for a while, before realising that didn't completely describe them. Young people today are lucky that you have more options available *shakes cane*.

    I have been with my boyfriend Richard for nearly 14 years, and we're getting legally married on our anniversary next year. That is my primary relationship, which is as intertwined in regards to finances and living arrangements as a typical monogamous relationship. He is basically my husband, just not in law (yet).

    I have also been with my girlfriend Alexa for nearly 10 years - it's our anniversary a few weeks after my anniversary with Richard. It is a secondary relationship - we don't live together, or share finances in any way, but I do love her "more than a friend".

    Not all poly people do primary/secondary. Some have co-equal relationships, where three or more people live together as if all were married to each other (a triad or quad), or where two people are both living as if married to a third, but are not romantically or sexually involved with each other (a V).

    I have had other partners during the time in which I've been with them, mostly girlfriends, one lasting about three years. I'm still open to other partners, but my criteria for partner selection is getting tighter and tighter as I get older. Long story ;).

    Feel free to ask me any questions you want about polyamory, by the way - I've been actively poly since I was 21, so I've been explaining it for many years.

    Unrelated to this, I'd describe myself as mostly cisgendered due to the fact that although I have a female body and am mostly happy with it (~90%), there is "a gay man in the back of my head". He is tall, slim, muscular, flouncy, and totally fabulous - almost the complete opposite of me. If it was possible to modify my body temporarily, I would like to spend part of the time male - but I'm talking about the sort of body mods that only exist in science fiction. Given what's possible now, staying female is the best option for me.

    Now I'm going to read everyone else's answers ;D.
     
  6. Linkachu

    Linkachu Hero of Pizza
    Staff Member Administrator

    Okay, so if I've gotten all of this correct, I'm heteroromantic heterosexual cisgender.

    It's no lie that I'm a very, very private person regarding my sexuality. I tend not to speak openly about sex with anyone, which has led certain onlookers to assume that I'm either aromantic, asexual, or both. On the contrary, I'm strongly attracted both romantically and sexually to the opposite gender and, for the most part, always have been; I'm just also content not to be in such relationships. You're not going to find me pining about romantic love or sex when I'm not with someone for example. I value trust and loyalty incredibly highly within every aspect of my life, and as a result I'm rarely interested in anyone who I either don't know or don't yet fully trust. Fantasies are one thing, but I can't even humor the idea of having a sexual fling because that's just not how I roll.

    As for being cisgendered, I grew up acting like a tomboy but I've never truly identified as a male. Gender stereotypes aside (which I've never bought into and will forever rebel against), I'm very comfortable being female aside from the physical and hormonal annoyances that accompany the gender. :p
     
  7. Yoshimitsu

    Former Moderator

    Another thing about me. Bearing my soul to you all, but it's nothing new for me - I'm a very open person.

    One of the major problems in my last relationship, which ultimately lead to the end of it, was my... it's a difficult thing to explain, purely for terminology.

    Basically, even when in a relationship, I enjoy being sexually attracted to other people. Even if it's something as simple as a kiss, or something much more intimate, I enjoy being able to go out and find another man, outside of my relationship. It doesn't mean I love my partner any less, not by any stretch of imagination. However, it's a hard thing to explain and justify. There are millions of issues surrounding it, which, again, lead to the breakdown of my last relationship.

    The best way I can explain it is that I'm sexually polyamorous. Romantically, if I have a partner, I wouldn't get into a second relationship. However, I would happily kiss or have sex with another person outside of that relationship (obviously, with consent from my partner). It's not something I can change - it's been present in every relationship I've ever been in.
     
  8. I am a heteroromantic heterosexual cisgender.

    Anyone that knows me knows that I am not very manly. Apart from the fact that I have male genitalia, hormones, and voice; I could easily pass as female. I have a very feminine figure, and I'm pretty damn good at thinking like a girl. You could even say I carry myself like a female; I even sit with my legs crossed most of the time. I try to avoid accidentally or even purposefully groping people, not because ew, I don't like those, but because I'm a nice guy and I respect people a bit too much(I'm shaky high-fiving, fist-bumping, or even hugging. Not out of a germophobe kind of way, I just feel awkward touching people). Yeah, I've worn dresses and corsets and make-up and such, all in the name of good fun and whatnot, but I'm a fucking theatre kid. They DO that kind of stuff.

    Not once have I ever seriously mentioned that I am attracted to males in any form or fashion, not once have I ever seriously done anything stereotypically associated with homosexuals, and not once have I ever done anything that might give the slightest indication that I like men; yet a good majority of the people I know are convinced that I can't possibly be straight.

    Maybe it's because I've never been on a date or had a girlfriend, maybe it's because there's some weird thought that if you're in theatre, you're either gay or a girl. Whatever the case, it's quite frustrating feeling as if you have to prove your sexuality to someone so they stfu and quit carrying on that I'm something that I'm not.

    Now, I have no hate whatsoever towards people with a different sexual preference than me. A good number of my friends are, hell, even a few of my favorite famous people are. I fully support that people should like who they like and not be judged, but geez, I'm straight. Deal with it.

    (Though I look damn sexy in a miniskirt :x )

    I also suck at explaining things, so I probably didn't convey my feelings as best I could have :|
     
  9. I am a biromantic heterosexual cisgender.

    Looking back at myself, while my sexuality was one of the more "readily accepted" things about me, I'm always questioning and second-guessing myself. Until I attended Catholic school did I really accept myself as a female. (Prior to this, I was an extreme tomboy in my head, and had even desired to be male on numerous occasions.) I was never really happy about my lack of feminine traits, and now, I regret a lot of the things that I've did in the past in order to be more masculine. (Part of the reason why my hair's so long is because of this.)

    Growing up as the first generation of a family of old-fashioned Asian immigrants, I am an only child. With my mother's youngest brother only being 16 at the time of my birth, I grew close to my uncles and looked up to them as father figures. Even to this day, they are definitely better at it than my own biological dad. With my mother always working, my grandma had also filled the void of a maternal figure. She raised me with just the same attention and devotion as she did my mom and my uncles, if not more. As such, I learned the ways of being a "gentleman" from them.

    While I'm certainly attracted to men, I... just have that soft spot for women. I love hugs from both sexes, and around women, I just tend to go that extra step for them. (Just recently during the holidays, I got down on one knee and handed my mother a bouquet for her birthday.)

    So yeah. Just my two cents.
     
  10. Well, I'm an occasionally biromantic, mostly heteromantic, cisgender heterosexual.

    I say 'occasionally' because the times I've found myself growing fond of females outside of the 'friend zone' is because they act and look somewhat masculine. I've never been attracted to the thought of physical intimacy with them, though. If a relationship occurs, I may be bi in both romance and sex, but I'm quite happy with how I am at the moment. In the present, with my boyfriend, generally any thoughts of romance with either sex (and I'm taking biological here) has faded because I'm quite satisfied with him and have no reason to be otherwise.

    Cisgender...hmm. That could be a funny thing at first glance. I, and from what I've seen from a few other females here, am quite tomboyish. I find some feminine characteristics irritating, like the submissive speech patterns and illogical dress (i.e., high heels in some situations). I act fairly masculine, but I also act in an awkward manner that couldn't be classified either way except for "just being Secad." I prefer men's clothing, but since it doesn't fit the way I like(*drowns in excess fabric*), I don't wear as many opposite-sex pieces as I did when I was younger and boys and girl's clothing were about the same size. I like long hair on me because (and this is a somewhat silly reason) I can play with it and do all sorts of things with it in both casual and formal situations, even if it is considered classically feminine. I got confused for a boy until I was about fourteen, and that's because of the differing clothing sizes and my pickiness changing the clothes I purchased. Mentally, I'm female. I may not be as feminine as American culture would have me be, but I'm happy with my body and the social constructs such as being referred to as 'she.' I may have been raised that way but I'm fine with it.

    (Linkachu is right. Hormone swings and such aren't fun, but being female is fine for me.)

    The heterosexual portion is the easiest. I like men. I had a great chance (genetically speaking) of being attracted to men and I'm fine with them. I prefer interacting with them as friends and I would think it awesome if I got into a relationship with someone I already got along with and knew about. Since I'm nearly 100% attracted to men, this is often what I say my orientation is.
     
  11. Yoshimitsu

    Former Moderator

    I recently had a conversation with some of my homosexual friends, and we were discussing the sub-definitions explained in the first post. A big part of it is, are they actually necessary?

    Ultimately, we came to the conclusion that for us, they weren't. It was as simple as saying "gay", "straight", or "bi". That was the identity we chose and stand by, and the easiest way of explaining ourselves. However, it was unanimously decided that the terms were good for people to help break down their orientations and identities so both themselves and other people could understand them.

    What do you guys think about it?
     
  12. I do think the sub-terms and sub-explanations are nescecary. I am biromantic, so realistically neither completely heterosexual nor bi-sexual. 'Sides, what if you're pansexual? It'd be difficult just having three options to choose from when you don't actually care about your life partner's gender.

    Also, why aren't more people posting here? We'd love to hear about you guys xD
     
  13. I am a biromantic, heterosexual with transgender tendencies.

    I wasn't sure about being biromantic at first. When I was younger, it was just an acceptance of gay people that my "cool" 12-year-old friends didn't seem to have. I remember seeing a video on YouTube (a parody of Paparazzi, I think) that involved some gay kissing scenes. All my friends reacted with "ew"s and such, but I didn't have any kind of reaction like that. I was scared of being bullied about it afterwards, but thankfully I never was. At some point I realised that I was biromantic, but I tried convincing myself that I wasn't always like that, but that kind of beats the purpose. The most ironci thing about my biromancy is that my main male love interest is KH Axel xD Anyone who knows my real name will know why this is ironic. However, I am not sexually interested in men (unless thinking that Axel is hot counts as being sexually interested, in that case I'm bisexual as well).

    As for the transgender business... Well, when I was younger, I used to always wish I was a girl. I really felt like I was born in the wrong gender. I learned to quell such thoughts, I suppose, but while not completely identifying as a female, I do have moments when I feel like I'm not really male. It's a bit complicated, because I don't know how seriously I should take it. As of now, I'm not taking it very seriously at all, in the sense that I'm mostly fine with being male, and probably won't do anything about it.

    And yes, the terminology in the first post is very helpful.
     
  14. While the usage of sub-terms is not necessary per say, it's kind of significant for those that just want to... "know what they are." (I kind of winced upon typing that.) I've always liked girly stuff, no lie- it's just that I denied it multiple times in my life. Now, I'm extremely comfortable in wearing dresses and certain types of heels and whatnot. (Whether I actually look good in them is another story.)

    I still tend to struggle a bit with being biromantic because, as far as my peers are concerned, it "isn't a thing." (Even with a significant population of homosexual students, I still have some extremely bigoted homophobes for classmates.) Especially when living in an old-fashioned family, I can't necessarily hug a girl with the full compassion that I want to give her without them raising an eyebrow at me. Hell, my parents aren't very keen on the fact that I've started to "like" male celebrities now.

    As for what Bara said about polygamy/monogamy, I would have to say that I'm a monogamous person. It's just that for me, once I find that certain person I enjoy being (romantically or just as acquaintances,) I tend to go all out and practically reveal everything about myself. (As seen here :U) I suppose you could say that in a relationship, I tend to be clingy? ^^; Either way, I'm the type of person to be completely devoted to a sole person and offer up everything I have to them. (In which case, it seems to be like being forced to marry me anyhow XD)
     
  15. To describe myself in the given terms, I am a biromantic, homosexual cisgender.

    To deal with the first term, my romantic affiliations are open to both genders. I'm happy to have a romantic relationship with males and females, but when it comes to anything more, I just can't picture myself with a girl :|

    Onto the next term, homosexual. The above paragraph really sums it up.
    I found myself attracted to guys last year, and while I struggled a bit with it at first, I'm generally happy now c:

    Ah, cisgender. Possibly the shakiest bit :p
    I'm biologically male, however my mannerisms have always been quite "girly" in parts. I was mistaken countless times as a girl by many people over the years, but it's really only now that I'm understanding the sexual and gender spectrum that I'm rethinking things. I still do "play the role" of a boy, and I won't be making any big decisions now, as said concerns could become minor ones in years to come.
     
  16. Shiny Lyni

    Shiny Lyni 2016 Singles Football

    Pretty much this, almost completely. Well, the hugging is rather normal here, minus a few exceptions (I can't hug my best friend without her trying to push me off her, for example).

    Also, I tend to think that overall, the sub-terms aren't extremely necesarry because people still consider themselves straight, bi, gay, or whatever no matter if they're cisgendered or whatnot. Like how I still consider myself straight despite the fact that I can be romantically attracted to both sexes; therefore, it's much more likely for me to find a partner that's a guy instead of a girl.
     
  17. I would consider myself a biromantic heterosexual cisgender(?)
    I have never really dated a guy, but i remember in 6th grade kissing one as a dare, and not even hesitating to do it. The guy I kissed was mostly flustered since he was still contemplating it. However, now in highschool, I don't really find any attraction in men.(except for very few cases) I find myself attracted to the female body more then ever, and that's most likely my hormones. As for the heterosexualness, just cause I find some guys attractive doesn't mean I'd sleep with them. I find it alittle...gross. Since I've done afew sexual stuff with my current girlfriend, I'm probably not gonna change my mind on that.

    Now for the cisgender stuff, this is alittle weird. I consider myself a guy, but when I RP for something, I usually do it as a girl. I don't know why, sometimes I even think about what it would be like to be a girl(although i am PERFECTLY fine with being a guy when it comes to periods.) It was really noticeable as a kid, but it's starting to fade away, so I'm not too worried about it.
     
  18. I'd say that I'm a biromantic homosexual cisgender(?).

    I don't know why, but I've never found guys sexually attractive. I wouldn't mind dating one, but I wouldn't have sex with them. I'm more likely to see myself with another girl than a guy. Granted, I've never dated anyone from either sex, but that doesn't mean I can't find one more attractive than the other.

    Now on to my gender. I was assigned female at birth, and I'm quite fine with the way I was born. However, I have been having thoughts recently on what it's like to be androgynous/agender. It might just be that there are things I don't like about being female, but it still crosses my mind constantly.
     
    #18 EeveeMaster1997, Jan 1, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2014
  19. Shiny Lyni

    Shiny Lyni 2016 Singles Football

    so it's been, what, 2 years since I last posted in this thread? Yet I've made some I guess discoveries about myself XD

    This pretty much completely changes what I said back then, but I identify as genderfluid, asexual, and (still) biromantic. Though my preferred pronoun is she/her/hers and stuff, that's because I am biologically female and people have been calling me as such for so long, I kind of don't mind about it anymore. That being said, I do slide around the gender scale a LOT, usually somewhere between female and agender/genderless but occasionally going over to the male side. It's annoyed the heck out of my parents, but my dad's pretty much been at least trying to accept/understand me through all this.

    As for asexuality... I realized that I've never been sexually attracted to anyone or anything. I'm not even sure /how/ to feel that way. However, that isn't to say I haven't been attracted to someone before, especially romantically. Heck, I used to get a new crush once every year, but that's finally died now that my hormones aren't zomg raging all the time. ^^; I'm still mostly attracted to guys, but there is the occasional girl (and I guess people who don't confine themselves to the gender binary) who I will also find myself liking~
     
    MandyLandy62 likes this.
  20. Magpie

    Magpie Feathered Overseer
    Staff Member Moderator

    I don't appear to have ever posted here...

    I'm heteroromantic heterosexual cisgender (I think I've just said that I'm straight and romantically/sexually interested in dudes). Or rather, just the guy I'm with. I have a very strong sense of loyalty, so when I'm with someone romantic/sexual feelings towards anyone else just don't happen. While no one would ever call me a 'girly' girl I definitely do identify with being female and feel that it's right. As with all labels though, there comes a point where the line would blur or not matter: for example if my boyfriend suddenly told me he'd been born female then it'd make no difference to our relationship. It's the person I love, not the gender/label.
     
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  21. From what I've gathered, I'm a biromantic (leaning more to guys), cisgender asexual. While I've yet to be in relationship, I do get rather attracted to both men and women. Cisgender is probably the hardest thing for me to put a proverbial label on, I identify mainly as male but occasionally (I'm not sure if it's a mood change or what) I lean closer to agender. Now asexual is another thing I'm unsure about, I'm not sure if I actually am asexual or if it is fear of the unknown. The thought of sex doesn't arouse me, this maybe due to the fact it scares me for a variety of reasons. It also sounds kinda gross to me so yeah, I'm fine with not finding out.

    While I've never heard the term before from the brief description I may possibly be Twospirit, I will have to look into it further and edit later.

    EDIT: If what I've read is correct, that two spirit is a feminine acting male that retains some male qualities or masculine acting female that retains some female qualities then I probably am Twospirit although it seems to be coined towards Native Americans which I'm not, so it could be up for dispute.
     
    #21 Alexxander, May 18, 2014
    Last edited: May 19, 2014
  22. Dwayna DragonFire

    Dwayna DragonFire 2014 Little Cup Champion

    I am a cisgender biromantic bisexual (including all gender identities, but leaning more towards males), with a side of polyamorous every now and then.

    I didn't really realize that there was such a thing as sexuality until later on in life, since my parents were generally uncomfortable discussing that sort of thing with me. I've always identified myself by my biological sex, which is female. I was and still am mainly attracted to men, but I also found myself attracted to girls one day when one kissed me on the cheek. I learned exactly what that meant through research on the internet, and since then I haven't really been very judgmental when it comes to gender identity or sexuality.

    As for my polyromantic feelings, occasionally I will be strongly attracted to multiple persons at one point in time. I will not, however, act on said feelings when I am in a current relationship unless my significant other is okay with it. Therefore I tend to focus on my primary partner a lot more, but if I had multiple partners who were okay with each other, I would imagine that they would be of somewhat more equal standing.
     
  23. I'm homoromantic, homosexual, which means gay. that's all xD. im cisgender, i identify myself as a boy, even a lot of people (specially girls) think that i identify myself as a girl. i like boys, but im a boy!
     
  24. pokeman266

    pokeman266 2015 Singles Champion

    I'm at that point in my life where some of my friends asked me if I was gay or not…. and they were seriouse. On a side note I think that it's nice that more people can come out being homosexual without being treated badly. BUT it will be a long time until all homosexuals and Biesexuals will be treated the same as "straight" people. Fact: Around 40% of homeless children in America are homeless because of the fact that they are lgbt and their parents kicked them out.
     
  25. I don't know what's the situation in other countries, but in Spain beeing homosexual isn't a big problem. both parents and friends are USUALLY gay-friendly. I know about some friends who were bullied and some other who had troubles when they came out of closet, but it wasn't a big deal.
     
  26. Shiny Lyni

    Shiny Lyni 2016 Singles Football

    It's a huuuuge deal in America, or at the very least where I live. While most of the kids I know of here are okay with non-straight people, many of our parents aren't and actively tell us to stay away from such people as if homosexuality was a disease that could be caught or something. It's really prominent in my own household, where I have to keep quiet about my gender identity and constantly have my mom tell me to "act more girlish" or "dress like a girl". Heck, when I brought home an article of clothing I bought from the guy's section of a store, she tried to make me throw it out and kept saying how "I raised you as a girl" and stuff.

    Hopefully I'll have only two more years of this nonsense x.x
     
  27. Pretty much, Adults are more religious than kids. That's all I have to say. I don't want to start anything...this is a VERY hasty topic.
     
  28. pokeman266

    pokeman266 2015 Singles Champion

    I just want to wish any homosexuals ( or any other sexuality that's frowned upon ) the best of luck to their futures. I hope that you will be treated like equals to your co-workers, your friends and everyone else.
     
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  29. I just love being gay ♥ It makes my life easier knowing my friends accept me for who i am and I no longer have to pretend to be straight in front of my family.
     
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  30. Welp, might as well get this out. I'm technically considered a Homoromantic Asexual. But no one understands the concept so I just say I'm a lesbian. To put it simple: I like other girls, I like romance, but I don't like, well, you know what. I'm not cisgendered or anything, just a normal female. I'm still hiding it from people though, I'm a nervous wreck about it. Just, paranoid that I'll be hated by everyone, and I know it's kind of stupid, one of my real life friends and most of my internet friends are aware and accepting. I come from a very christian family so I've always been scared to say anything because, like my 6th grade language arts teacher once said, "You can't change stupid."
     
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  31. I'm cisgender, homosexual, and homoromantic. I've been with my girlfriend for many years, and I really hope me and her can get married someday.
     
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  32. Shit. I thought I had posted here a while ago. (seems to happen a lot with me) And to think I had everything thought out about this too. It's weird. I'm weird.

    Anyways on to the topic at hand. I identify as an Autochorissexual It's a small (really small) sub grouping of Asexual and if people want me to explain it I will, anyways the term it's self explains a lot about myself that I thought was wrong due to general ideas related to Asexuality. This is mainly because I have never completely identified as Heterosexual or as Asexual and everyone that I know (mostly family) seems to think you have to be either strait, gay, or bi of which I am none.
    Now with the whole sexuality aspect out of the way I identify as a heteromantic, meaning I find myself romantically attracted to people of the opposite gender(ie. males) but I find people of both genders aesthetically attractive. It's not like I want to do anything with them it's more like "Hey that's a really pretty person, I want to draw them" or something to that extent.
    To end I identify as a cisgendered female. I was assigned this gender at birth and am very comfortable with life in relations to this gender. (but this hold nothing on RPing or writing in general, seeing as I LOVE to write as the opposite gender. I find it an interesting experience to try and think differently then I normally would)
     
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  33. I don't know whether Im a biromantic or homoromantic. Can someone help me?

    EDIT: So by this means I'm a biromantic bisexual cisgender, and very proud of it regardless :)
     
    #33 SparkyLewis949, Nov 15, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2015
  34. Teapot

    Teapot Virtual Duck Enthusiast
    Staff Member Administrator

    Could you see yourself going out with someone of the opposite gender, in a romantic relationship? If yes, biromantic. If not, homoromantic.

    For what it's worth, it really doesn't matter if you don't know right now. :)
     
  35. Well I Am A... Let Me Take This Slow. I Am A heteroromantic heterosexual two-spirit?. I say this because I am obsessed with females.. Of course to a fault but I was also raised with absolutely no male figures in my life along with 5 female cousins so of course I came out a little feminine but only hygienic wise(I Shower At Least 5Times A Day and do laundry twice a week) and also cooking wise, but be that as it may I am also very masculine I Work Out On A Daily and also love boxing whenever I can as long as I don't get hit in the face(I care about it way too much). Did I use two spirit in the correct context?
     
  36. if that's twospirit's meaning I'm twospirit too (I'm on my way to dance club, just finished working out)
     
  37. Teapot

    Teapot Virtual Duck Enthusiast
    Staff Member Administrator

    Pretty sure that's not twospirit. But labels are for boxes, so if you like the word, use it :p
     
  38. Thanks so much Teapot! It helps :3
     
  39. Well, I'm male, and an Asexual/Aromantic Cisgender.

    I used to be Heteroromantic awhile ago, but due to all the break ups my parents/friends/siblings have had (Which is many), I have found it more comfortable alone. I still have friends, I just don't want to be romantically attracted to them.
     
  40. I'm...not entirely a fan of this approach. At least not how it is framed these days.

    My main issue is the application of the term gender. I've seen many people apply the term to different things. The first exposure we may get is where the term is in reference to one's reproductive function, which would often be male or female for most people. But then we find that concept to be referred to as sex, and gender to refer to social expectations or even stereotypes. I've even seen some who disassociate the concept of gender from reproduction so far that descriptions better resemble descriptions of personality. So I never really know what to expect when people refer to gender.

    I will note that I prefer the use of "identify" and "gender assigned at birth" because it at least creates a recognition or difference from anatomy, if gender isn't synonymous with sex. If gender is synonymous with sex, "assign" is definitely the wrong word, and it'd be more like "diagnosed" as silly as that sounds. We also don't really see a difference in sexed and gendered terms regularly applied. I personally consider male and female sexed terms, and man and woman to be gendered terms, but gender itself being represented with masculinity, femininity, androgyny, and neutrality.

    I'm also not a fan of sexuality being framed in terms of gender, unless gender is synonymous with sex. Often sexual attraction has a lot to do with the body of the person they are attracted to, in addition to the personality of the prospective partner. While gender may be a factor, I've seen the gender over sex position with sexuality cause a lot of LGBT+ communities to experience some issues, like lesbians having to explain that they don't like male genitalia, regardless of the gender identity of the partner. Additionally, I see the protesting against homosexuality, and I definitely get the vibe that it isn't about masculine persons being sexually active with other masculine persons: their focus is same-sex.

    I dunno. Linguistic distinctions really matter to me and I feel like this entire subject is buried in conflated terms. How do I end up describing myself? Panromantic wouldn't be incorrect, but I'm definitely gynephilic. My sex is unquestionably male, but am I masculine or feminine or androgynous or whatever? I'm not really sure. I'm not sure I really care on that regard. I'm not sure how many people really do, ya know? I dunno. I've just have concerns.
     
    #40 DayU, Mar 2, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2015
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