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Erased Memories (A Pokemon Fanfic)

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by Kyupper, Jul 13, 2008.

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  1. I haven't written very many fanfics, so bear with me please.
    Prologue
    Breathing hard, a small Pokemon hung by its fingers to the window ledge. Slowly it pulled itself up and, after a quick glance in the window, ducked back down again.
    Nope, that man's still watching... it murmured telepathically, though only to itself.
    Faint cries pierced the air, and the Pokemon put one hand to the red jewel on its forehead. Slowly the jewel glowed (though not as brightly as it normally did), illuminating the Pokemon's mostly yellow head and stretching to reach the top of its light blue body. With fierce concentration, the Pokemon pressed still harder on its jewel.
    Say again? It spoke without moving its lips. The response came faintly, as though it was being spoken through a radio that was slowly losing battery power.
    Uxie...I can't take it much longer...wipe his memory of me...and of Azelf too...
    Uxie made a face. But you said Azelf was out...
    He was,
    came the bitter reply. Be glad...you didn't have to see...what happened to him. He can't even...get up anymore.
    You mean he lost his power?
    came Uxie's startled reply.
    I don't think so...at least not totally...he still twitches his mouth from time to time...sometimes if I try to communicate with him...he makes these weird moaning noises...
    Uxie struggled to keep a calm tone. And what about you? Are you okay?
    Just barely. Please Uxie...please PLEASE come wipe his memory...
    Don't worry Mesprit. Just release your jewel and I'll come and get you as soon as possible.

    There was no reply. The emotion Pokemon had fainted from exhaustion.
    ~*~
    Pulling a cigarette out of his mouth and blowing a bit of smoke into the air, the man turned to face his daughter.
    "Holly, any success with getting those gems?"
    "No Dad. I'm sorry," the girl replied, looking down at her worn-out shoes. "The ones on their tails...they're kinda stuck in," she added in a lie.
    "Kinda? What do you mean, kinda?" The man bent down so that he was eye level with Holly.
    "I...I mean they're stuck," Holly lied, twirling a strand of mousy brown hair around one finger. The truth was, the jewels on the Legendary Trio's tails came out pretty easily, but that weakened the Pokemon to the point where they could no longer move.
    "What about the ones on their heads?" the man pressed.
    "Those? I tried, but...they're SUPER protective of those," Holly explained. "Sometimes I find 'em lying there, hands clamped to the jewels on their heads, moving their lips like they're talking, yet never really saying anything..." She trailed off.
    "Hm. Very well then." Holly's father no longer seemed to be paying attention. "Come along, just an hour or two left before we turn in for the night." He turned around and began to walk away before noticing that his daughter was not following.
    He turned around and said, more forcefully this time, "Let's go."
    "Why are you being so cruel to them?" the girl asked quietly. "Why do you want their power--and those gems on their heads and tails?"
    "Holly." The man held up a warning finger which then curled into a fist.
    Leaving her question unanswered, Holly sighed. "Alright. I'll be there in a minute."
    "Try to hurry up," her father tossed over his shoulder as he left the room. Holly nodded and, after the sound of her dad's footsteps faded, rushed over to the two legendary Pokemon her dad had captured. Slowly opening the glass top that covered the motionless Azelf, she pulled the limp Pokemon out.
    "You're gonna be okay," she whispered, stroking the blue Pokemon. After a moment, she returned it to its coffin of glass and marble and walked over to Mesprit. Slowly picking it up and stroking it as she had done with Azelf, her eyes fell upon the third glass case--a case that remained empty.
    At least, until her father went after Uxie.
    --------------------------------------------
    Comments and criticism welcome :)
     
  2. Chapter One
    It was an early autumn morning in the Sinnoh region, so early you couldn't even hear the Chatots chattering to each other as they flew overhead. In fact, the only sound that could be heard was the soft whispering of two Pokemon trainers as they sat cross-legged on a thick tree branch, trading TMs. On a branch almost straight across from them, a ten-year-old girl slept silently, one arm stretched across her face to grab some of the branch in front of her, covering most of one eye and the red jewel carved into her forehead. A small Mudkip mumbled in its sleep. The other trainers paid no attention whatsoever to them, and continued talking quietly.
    "Do you want Bubble or Water Gun?" murmured a boy, fanning out a handful of TMs in front of him as he leaned back on one hand.
    "I repeat, I want Ice Beam," replied a slightly younger girl. "The fact that you're avoiding trading me that TM doesn't change the fact that I want it, Justin."
    Rolling his eyes and sighing, Justin sat up, making his shiny black hair fall forward into his face, and pulled a TM out of his hand. He slapped it down on the tree branch, careful not to put it where it could fall off, and demanded, "TM Earthquake." As the girl's mouth fell open in shock, he added, "And you don't need to make a comment, Samantha!"
    Samantha was about to reply when the girl on the branch across from her began to snore. Chuckling, Samantha retorted, "Well, apparently she thinks the same about your ridiculous trade that I do!" and jerked a thumb towards the sleeping brunette.
    Justin laughed quietly. "Seriously, you don't know what I went through for that Ice Beam!"
    "Why don't I?" challenged Samantha. "I was there when it happened, y'know!"
    The brunette girl gave another snore, and Justin and Samantha looked over, giggling as they noticed their friend and traveling companion was dangerously close to the edge of the branch.
    "Just a little more..." Justin whispered, and Samantha nodded mischeviously.
    "C'mon, roll over some more..."
    SPLAT!
    Wide awake and covered in mud, the brown-haired girl leaned back on her hands and looked up at her friends.
    "Very graceful, Kayla!" Justin shouted sarcastically.
    "Shut up before I...before I..." Kayla shook a fist threateningly. Knowing she wasn't to be taken seriously, Justin merely laughed. Samantha grinned down at her friend, but Kayla had stopped listening. The ten-year-old pressed a dirty hand to the jewel in her forehead. Closing her eyes, the brunette heard distant noises...static? No...like a weird moaning noise...
    "Kayla! Kayla! Earth to Kayla!" yelled Justin, waving a hand in the air. His friend pulled her hand away and smiled at him.
    "Kayla to Earth."
    Samantha reached over to the tree branch where Kayla had been sleeping and grabbed her Mudkip, waking it up. "Mudkip to Kayla!" the twelve-year-old girl shouted as the water Pokemon jumped out of her arms and down to its trainer, spraying water all over her as it did so.
    "Ack!" the young girl shouted as she was drenched. Skillfully catching her small Pokemon, she turned it around to face her. "Must you do that?"
    "Kip!" her Mudkip responded, giving her another faceful of water. As the water hit the jewel on her forehead, again she heard a strange moaning noise, but she barely had time to notice.
    ~*~
    Mesprit, Mesprit, can you hear me?
    Yes, but Uxie...it's painful...to send messages...
    Just listen then.
    Uxie drew a sharp breath in. I'm trying to wipe the memory of that man, but every time he's in the room this girl is with him...and I can't bring myself to wipe her memory of us, I think she means well...
    ~*~
    Carefully watching the sleeping image of her father, Holly pulled on a navy blue jacket and groaned to herself.
    Why do I not have any black clothes? the nine-year-old complained mentally. Shrugging it off, she ran lightly over the carpet flooring and down the stairs to the one door that remained unlabeled. Pulling a hair clip out of her pocket, she began to pick the lock. It came open quite easily and she walked in, breathing hard. Her eyes scanned the room, and she sighed with relief.
    Good, Dad hasn't gotten Uxie yet, she thought. Now, let's see...
    She opened Mesprit's casing to reveal a fainted Pokemon. Shocked, Holly put her hand on the bottom of the psychic Pokemon's enclosed area to steady herself, but jerked back within seconds, like the legendary Pokemon was a poisonous snake. She felt her hand; it had gone limp.
    So this is why they're getting weaker and weaker...this casing sucks their power...!
    Resealing Mesprit's casing, she looked over and saw a weak Azelf raise its hand to the jewel on its forehead, moan a bit, and then lower its hand. A look of sympathy on her face, Holly quietly walked back upstairs. Azelf thought merely one more sentence before sleep grabbed it.
    What was that I heard...like water splashing onto my face?
     
  3. I like it Mudskipper! Although I wonder how that red jewel got in Kayla's forehead, and how the Midget Psychic Patrol is connected to it. Keep writing.
     
  4. Thanks! :D About the jewel in Kayla's forehead...a professional did it for her, if you've ever seen someone with a jewel carved into their forehead you'll know what I mean. I have trouble describing things like this...:p As for the MPP...you'll have to wait and see ;)
    -----------------------------------
    Chapter Two
    "Aipom, will you just use Swift already!" yelled Justin. His Pokemon ignored him and began to use Tickle on the Minun on the other side of the grassy arena.
    "Minun! Use Thunder!" ordered Samantha, snapping her fingers as if to say "Snap out of it!" Quickly shaking off the Tickle attack, Minun shot a stream of lightning at its opponent, made extra powerful thanks to the Charge move it had used earlier.
    Kayla sighed and leaned back against a tree, her Mudkip resting in her lap. It wasn't that she had anything against these "friendly battles", or so people called them, but sometimes she really would've preferred to be included in them more often. Like now.
    Idly the girl stood up and stretched, her Pokemon climbing up her arm and sitting on her shoulder. She turned around to face the tree she had been leaning against, and shoved her foot into a low area where the tree split off into two huge, thick branches. Pulling herself up in order to sit on the left branch where the one block of tree split into three, where a small area was lowered just like a folding chair from all the Pokemon trainers that had sat there throughout the years.
    "Strange how you can sort of get attached to trees," Kayla mumbled to herself, leaning back and smiling at Mudkip. Closing her eyes, she dozed off, but only for a few minutes, because all of a sudden she felt something spring onto her head, paws (or hands, Kayla couldn't tell) on her eyes for a minute and then retreating to the jewel on her forehead.
    "GET OFFA ME!" Kayla screamed, instantly wide awake. She swatted at her head and felt the furry body of a Pokemon. "GET OFF OF MY HEAD!" She tried to push the creature's paws/hands off her, but as her hands collided with the red gem carved into her forehead, she felt suddenly faint.
    "Oh God...what is happening to me?" she whispered to herself, leaning back against the tree for support. She gulped and then, feeling a sudden burst of energy, screamed again at the Pokemon, "GET OFF MY HEAD!"
    "Good grief, Kayla, what--" began Samantha as she looked over, and, upon seeing her friend leaning helplessly against the tree branches, stopped and stared.
    "Are you okay?" called Justin, snapping a PokeBall off his belt and returning his Aipom to it as he spoke.
    Kayla did not respond. She had gone deathly pale and stony-faced, as if she was in a trance. As the Pokemon upon her head rested its paws/hands on the jewel in her forehead, the girl quietly listened to the voices forcing their way into her mind. One was a steady voice, the kind of voice that made you instantly snap to attention as soon as you heard it, and the other was a light, floaty voice, like it was from someone kind that was recovering from something.
    ...come wipe his memory now?
    The girl's not with him?
    Well, yes she is, but she's on the other side of the room--she's facing the room and he's not. She's got me out of the container, y'see.
    Okay...I'll try...

    At that moment, the Pokemon released its grip on the jewel in Kayla's forehead, and the girl opened her eyes weakly.
    "Kayla, are you okay?" called Samantha, worried.
    Her skin slowly regaining its normal tan color, Kayla sat up in the tree, breathing hard. The ground seemed a million miles away; it looked like everything was shaking. The girl winced and then leaned over and vomited blood.
    Both of her traveling companions jumped backwards to avoid being hit with the mess, and then Justin called up to her, "Kayla! Are you alright?"
    Blinking at him and slowly regaining correct vision, Kayla nodded. "I'm OK...it's just..." Her hand brushed the jewel in her forehead, and then she reached up and felt the furry head of a Pokemon. Then she remembered, and added, "Get this thing off my head!"
    Samantha looked up and burst out laughing. "Kayla. Why on earth are you freaked out about a little Eevee?"
    "What?" Kayla slowly reached up and pulled the Pokemon off her head. Sure enough, it was a small Eevee, smiling at her. "What were you doing on my head, you little rascal?" Kayla asked it.
    "Vee." It smiled and then launched a Shadow Ball at the Mudkip resting on Kayla's shoulder.
    "Mud-KIP!" the water-type screamed, jumping off its trainer and launching a Mud-Shot at the evolution Pokemon, who responded by pulling out a Sand Attack that sent Kayla coughing into her fist so hard she nearly fell out of the tree.
    When the sand cleared, she yelled, "C'mon, Mudkip, play nicely!"
    Playing nicely was the last thing on Mudkip's mind, and it turned around and dove towards Kayla, preparing a Mud Shot for reasons unknown even to her...
    -------------------------------------
    I never knew suspense could be so much fun :D
     
  5. Shiny Pyxis

    Shiny Pyxis 2016 Singles Football

    Nice. I really enjoy your fanfic, and I'm willing to read more of it.

    Wonder how that Eevee learned Shadow Ball, though. Isn't it a TM move? Bet you almost anything that a trainer or coordinator's going to come rushing by any minute to claim that Eevee as his/hers, or that Eevee found a stray TM and did whatever you do to the TM to learn the move and learned Shadow Ball. Just my random guesses. ^^
     
  6. Thank you Shiny. :D As for the Eevee...eh, I'll deal with that later. :p
    ----------------------------------------
    Chapter Three
    Kayla shrieked in fear as she put her hands up to protect her face. She heard the creak of the branch as the Eevee jumped up after Mudkip, hoping to sneak in another attack. Bracing herself in case she was hit, Kayla turned away and gripped something--she didn't know what...
    And suddenly all became quiet besides the small cheerful ring of "Mudkip, kip, kip, mud." Kayla inched over and saw her Mudkip standing next to a PokeBall that had been splattered with mud. It took a minute for her to make the connection, but when she did she looked curiously at her Pokemon.
    "Where did you learn to throw a PokeBall?" the girl wondered out loud, and picked up the red and white object. Holding it up just far enough for her confused friends to see, she grinned and hugged her Mudkip.
    "All right, Mudkip!" called Samantha. "When'd you teach it to do that, Kayla?"
    "I didn't." Kayla shrugged.
    "So why is it...rocking...?" asked Justin, and Kayla peered at the ball to discover that it was, in fact, vibrating, though barely, and the button was blinking red. Kayla held her breath, hoping the Eevee wouldn't pop out and give her even more trouble.
    ~*~
    So, Uxie, I take it you were not able to wipe his memory?
    No...I'm sorry Mesprit, but...there's something preventing me from doing it...like he has a protective bubble around him or something...so, erm, is Azelf any better?

    Mesprit gave a soft sigh. Unfortunately, no. All he does is make moaning noises all day...except for early this morning, he told me he'd heard something strange...like the sound of water splashing onto his face...then he fainted.
    Speaking of this morning,
    Uxie began, I got this weird sensation...it was like a Pokemon was resting its paws on my jewel...actually, it was right around the time I tried to wipe that man's memory...and after the pressure on my jewel went away, I felt really sick and couldn't concentrate on anything...
    ~*~
    "Holly, exactly what are you doing with Mesprit? You've been at it all day!"
    "Sorry, Dad."
    "There's no need for apologies," her father said. "Just tell me what you are doing."
    "Trying to get the jewel out of her head," Holly lied, not looking up as she dabbed hydrogen peroxide across a bleeding wound on Mesprit's tail. The little Pokemon had its hand on the jewel in its head and was mumbling something. Really, Holly just wanted Mesprit to have some time out of its torture chamber so it would regain strength and, hopefully, be able to escape. She was planning to work on Azelf the next day.
    The question was...could she keep her father from going after Uxie for that long?
    ~*~
    Kayla dropped the ball and leaned back in fear as the Eevee burst out of the ball again in a red flash. Both the girl and her Mudkip let out a groan; the only difference was that Kayla's was one of defeat and Mudkip's was a fight-to-the-death groan.
    "STOP IT!" screamed Kayla as Mudkip grabbed the Eevee by the scruff of its neck and flung it back and forth, letting it go after about thirty seconds so it went flying and landed on the grass near the bottom of the tree. The Eevee gave a cry of pain as Kayla picked up the PokeBall again. A flick of the young trainer's wrist, aimed skillfully downward, a spin of the ball, and the Eevee became nothing more than a red light in the shape of an Eevee, and then it was sucked inside the closed ball, too weak to even make the ball rock anymore.
    Attempting to swing down from the tree, Kayla grabbed a branch and kicked her feet off the one she had been sitting on, only to get whacked in the face with another, larger branch she somehow hadn't noticed beforehand. Startled, she let go completely and fell to the ground, shrieking as the taste of blood entered her mouth.
    ~*~
    Uxie...that you?
    Who else? Of course it's me.
    Were you pressing your jewel just now?

    Uxie was puzzled. No, why do you ask, Mesprit?
    Because I was...and something really weird happened.
    Go on.
    Well, at first I felt really, really, scared for some reason, then it was like something whacked me in the face--and I felt like I was falling, and I was tasting blood, and as soon as I released my jewel, I felt alright again...weird, isn't it?
     
  7. Still wanna know about MPP. Anyways, I would have never known about the Shadow Balling Eevee until Shiny mentioned it. So, post more chapters so I'm not so confused!
     
  8. You will know as soon as I know ;)
    -------------------------------
    Chapter Four
    "HOLLY!"
    "I'm coming, Dad!" yelled the nine-year-old girl as she ran down the stairs, feet thumping furiously on the carpet. Breathlessly, she entered the room she had come to think of as the Legendary Trio's Torture Chamber. Her father stood near Azelf's casing, where the little Pokemon was moaning painfully.
    "I was calling you for ten minutes; didn't you hear me?" Holly's father asked seriously.
    "Sorry; I had my music on," his daughter lied. She'd been sitting in her bedroom with a notebook and a pen in her hands, writing down every possible solution she could think of to stop her father from draining the power of the Legendary Trio (or, rather, the Legendary Duo, since he hadn't managed to capture Uxie yet). Unfortunately, she'd been unsuccessful.
    "Never mind that now." Her father suddenly seemed distracted. "Anyway, I need you to help me with something."
    "What is it?"
    "Since I can't seem to find Uxie, I'm going to get him to come to me."
    Holly wore a puzzled expression. "Dad, what on earth are you talking about?"
    "Well, you know that garden shed out back we have?" (Holly nodded.) "So I was thinking, well, we never use it, so why not put the little runt Pokemon in there?"
    Holly resisted the urge to tell her father that Azelf and Mesprit were not runts--she knew it would do no good. "Not to sound smart alack, but how exactly is that going to make Uxie come to you?"
    "Well, experts are saying that they can all communicate with each other. So if they can, then the two I've already got could be saying to Uxie, 'We're right outside, it's really easy to get to us, the door's open and everything.'"
    "So when Uxie comes in there, you grab him?" guessed Holly fearfully.
    Her father nodded, greed in his hazel eyes. "Now, c'mon, help me move these two to the shed. I already set up those glass cases there."
    "So that's what you were doing all morning," Holly murmured.
    "Precisely. Here, hold this. It's for the shed," her father explained, holding a small brass key out to her as he picked up the limp Azelf. As she took it from his hand, she had a sudden burst of inspiration. Pocketing the key and picking up Mesprit, the gears of her mind began racing at top speed.
    ~*~
    "Are you alright?"
    Kayla blinked and shielded her eyes from the sun as Justin spoke. Checking herself over for injuries, she responded.
    "I think so. Just got whacked in the face, that's all..."
    "Feeling okay? Shall we stop and rest?" Samantha asked, concerned.
    "No, no, I'm fine," Kayla replied, getting to her feet and brushing dirt off her clothes. Leaning down again, she picked up the PokeBall she had thrown at the Eevee and then grinned, showing the braces on her teeth.
    "Can't believe I actually caught that thing," she commented, hooking it to her belt.
    "Kip," her Mudkip reminded, jumping onto her shoulder.
    "Yes, you helped too," Kayla agreed.
    "I wonder..." Lost in thought, Samantha turned her head to look at the hills which lay before the three, her shiny black hair nearly hitting Justin in the face.
    "How Mudkip learned to throw a PokeBall?" Kayla supplied.
    Looking back at her friends, Samantha shook her head. "No...how that Eevee learned Shadow Ball. It's a TM move, after all, isn't it?"
    "True..." Justin agreed.
    Not sure what to say, Kayla improvised. "Well...mysteries are always fun, and a challenge, aren't they?"
    Her friends nodded silently.
     
  9. Shiny Pyxis

    Shiny Pyxis 2016 Singles Football

    Few things...

    *stabs the suspense with a knife and tries burning it with fire*

    It's killing me way too much! Seriously, so many unanswered questions... and I want to know the answer to them all! Kip (can I call you that, just for simplicity?), QUIT KILLING MEEEEEE...

    Second, even though I really enjoy your story, I have one thing to say. Try to balance speach and narration. Currently, there seems to be way too much speaking right now with the characters, so basically, you could write this in skit format, I guess. Basically, I've noticed that, throughout the last two chapters, there seemed to be a bit too much speach. Try to even them out a bit?
     
  10. OK, Shiny, you can stop attempting to burn the suspense now. Sorry it took a while, what with writer's block and school starting, I was busy.
    And yeah, you can call me Kip ;) Call me anything, so long as I know it means me.
    But thank you for the tips! :D I tried to balance narration and speech more evenly in this chapter, and I think it turned out better than some of the others.
    -------------------------------------------
    Chapter Five
    Lying uncomfortably in Holly's arms, Mesprit sighed. A few moments out of that torture chamber...funny how it seemed to suck just enough power so she and Azelf did not faint, yet were suspended in that horrible moment when a Pokemon knows it is going to faint--and the dizziness is setting in, and you feel all weak, and if you stay like that long enough you feel nauseated, yet you cannot throw up...
    Lifting its head, Mesprit listened to Holly's soft chanting of "Distraction, distraction, I need a distraction..." The young girl's face was written with hopeful worry (if that was even possible).
    Distraction...she needs a distraction? The emotion Pokemon forced a tight-lipped smile of determination. Well...I guess I can do that. Pressing the jewel on its forehead, the legendary prayed that Uxie was paying attention...
    Mesprit, that you?
    Eagerly punching its free hand into the air, Mesprit grinned. Sure as heck it's me. Look, where are you?
    'Round the front of the house you're trapped in...I thought I found the room you were kept in but it was empty.
    Oh. Um...nevermind that. Look, can you create a distraction?
    Of course--where?
    Anywhere but the back of the house.

    There was no answer. Mesprit released its jewel, lay back, and thought, Why in the world does this girl need a distraction--and why do I trust her?
    ~*~
    With every step Holly became more afraid that nothing would distract her father, and she would be forced to lay Mesprit down in that bed of glass. Muttering to herself under her breath, she took small steps to take as much time as possible...
    CRR-ASH!
    Holly yelped and spun around as the sound of someone banging on a trash can lid came from the front yard. She supposed it was only once, but no--
    Crash! Crash! Crash-crash-BAM!
    "What on earth is going on out there?" demanded her father, laying Azelf down in the glass chamber. His daughter shrugged and he sighed. "Okay, I'm going to go see. Put Mesprit in the container, then come inside so we can have dinner, alright?" He spoke so rapidly that Holly could barely tell one word from another, but she nodded, and her heartbeat quickened. This was what she had been waiting for...
    The moment her father walked out the door, she hissed to Mesprit, "Okay, slip down the back of my shirt--you can hang onto the collar--it's only gonna be a little while, alright? Everything's gonna turn out fine, we'll be outta here in an hour tops." She kept talking just to hear the reassuring sound of her own voice, and as Mesprit slid down the back of her shirt, she could hear her pulse racing without trying.
    ~*~
    Pushing a piece of steak around her plate absentmindedly, Holly felt the little emotion Pokemon wiggling under her shirt. It had been half an hour; she had to stop beating around the bush and actually go through with the rest of her plan.
    Okay--I have Mesprit, the girl told herself. I have the key. Any minute now...
    "Holly, get me another drink, will you?" Her father's words, the ones she heard nearly every evening at dinner, made her breathing quicken until it was nearly as fast as her pulse.
    "O-okay Dad." Her voice cracked as she slowly walked towards the fridge, praying her father didn't notice the odd lump in her shirt. Opening the door and staring at the same layout she had at lunch, she gulped and let her fingers close around a bottle of beer.
    Well, it's now or never.
    She screamed wordlessly, and for nearly no reason, as she pulled her arm forward and let go off the liquor. Her father ducked just in time and she heard the glass bottle break, heard him curse at her loudly, felt Mesprit clinging onto her shirt collar for dear life...
    The front door opened and she heard her own footsteps running out into the night, faster than she ever had thought possible.
     
  11. *kicks herself for being lazy*
    --------------------------------
    Chapter Six
    A monotone echoed off the small hilly area as Justin continued to do a one-handed handstand, using the other hand to whistle with two fingers in his mouth. It was driving Kayla nuts, but no matter what she did, she could not get her friend to shut up. He didn't seem to care that he was being screamed at, that his face was going red, that he was driving everyone nuts.
    "Oh, I give up!" shouted Samantha, whacking Justin in the chest with her backpack. He tilted a little but caught himself and the whistling went on. The tone had not changed despite the interruption.
    "Yes, you do," remarked Kayla unhelpfully as she pulled a PokeBall off her belt. Waving it threateningly, she hollered, "Justin, you shut up or you get whacked with Shadow Ball!"
    Justin raised his eyebrows and changed the tune of his whistling slightly for a second, but in a minute it was the same annoying note again.
    "All right, I warned you!" shouted Kayla. "Eevee, use Shadow Ball!" She jerked her wrist slightly forward, the rest of her arm staying motionless, and sent the grapefruit-sized ball spinning into the air for a moment until it opened to reveal a very reluctant Eevee. The Pokemon made no move to use any attack, and Justin snorted as he continued whistling annoyingly.
    "Eevee, c'mon!" Kayla jerked her hands up and down quickly. "Use Shadow Ball!"
    Eevee ignored her, settling down and licking one of its paws contentedly. Kayla gave an exasperated sigh.
    "Eevee, DO A FRICKIN' SHADOW BALL!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. The evolution Pokemon turned around, bared its teeth at her, and then resumed grooming itself.
    "Haha, I guess that shows what your threats mean," replied Justin, finally halting his whistling and standing upright again. Kayla growled softly as the color drained from her friend's face.
    "Alright, you stubborn thing, return," she snapped, forcing Eevee back into its ball. "Honestly. That was ridiculous."
    Samantha giggled. "Now, I've seen Pokemon who attack their trainers, Pokemon who use different attacks than their trainers tell them to, and Pokemon who purposely miss the opponent. But I've never seen anything like that."
    "Well, now you have," said the crabby Kayla. "Can we please move on?"
    "K'Ya, alright," mumbled Justin, still grinning in the direction of Eevee's PokeBall. "Either of you up for a proper battle?"
    "Why not," replied Samantha, pulling a PokeBall off her belt and spinning it expertly on the tip of one finger. "Kayla?"
    "Eh..." The girl shrugged. "You two can. I feel like battling someone whose Pokemon I'm unsure I can handle."
    "Why in heck would you do that?" asked Justin curiously.
    "'Cause I like a challenge," she replied, bored. "Go ahead, you guys, battle. I think I'll just watch."
    She flopped down, leaning against a brick wall, and sent out Mudkip to amuse herself.
    She would not need to be amused for weeks after that moment, for right then she looked up and saw a girl a couple of years younger than her running furiously up the sidewalk, a Pokemon Kayla couldn't quite make out in her arms.
     
  12. I have a feeling people lost interest in this. *sigh*
    -----------------------------------------------
    Chapter Seven
    Holly had never been very good at quick thinking--she always needed to take time and plan things out. A few times quick thinking had worked out--that just screams "What I did with Mesprit," Holly thought--but most of the time she ended up doing something very stupid. And she had a feeling that she was going to do just that as soon as she saw a girl slightly older than she sitting against a wall, playing with a Mudkip. She could not hide Mesprit, for she'd surely be noticed and questioned. She couldn't change direction; if this girl was curious she might chase Holly down and ask her where she was going.
    Lose-lose situation.
    And in all of her trying-to-think-of-something-quickly-and-failing thoughts, she stupidly tripped over her own feet, if that is even possible. And as she crashed to the ground she thought, Great, I really am an idiot after all. Wait. I knew that a long time ago.
    She sighed as she lay on the ground for a moment. Mesprit gracefully slipped out of her grasp and floated in midair for a moment. Holly winced as she heard footsteps and then felt a hand on her shoulder.
    "Hey, are you alright?" a soft voice asked.
    Holly looked up and stared into the deep blue eyes of the girl that had been previously sitting against the wall. Her deep blue eyes expressed worry, and Holly nodded.
    "Yeah...I'm fine. Thanks."
    "Kip?" the Mudkip asked curiously, jumping up onto the girl's shoulder and smiling mischeviously. It nodded once to itself and then fired a jet of water into Holly's face, soaking her hair and the upper part of her shirt.
    "Ylah...!" Holly wiped her eyes with the back of her arm and tried to wring out her wet hair unsuccessfully. The girl's hands balled into fists.
    "Mudkip, if I've told you once I've told you a million times, stop using Water Gun on people unless they ask for it!" She yanked a towel out of her pocket and held it towards Holly. "I'm sorry, she seems to like doing that to people..."
    "It's okay...it's not that big a deal," Holly replied truthfully, drying herself off. As she said it, she remembered Mesprit suddenly and tensed up, but as soon as she felt tiny hands clinging to the back of her shirt, she relaxed again.
    "I'm Kayla by the way," the girl replied, twirling a strand of brown hair around one finger. "Who are you?"
    "Holly," the nine-year-old mumbled, rocking a little on her heels.
    Kayla nodded, ignoring Holly's I-want-to-end-this-conversation look. Expertly she snapped a PokeBall off her belt and sent out a Pokemon Holly couldn't recognize.
    I think it begins with E...is it Ekans or Elekid or Exploud? No...and it's not Empoleon...what is it? she said to herself.
    "This is Eevee..." Kayla trailed off a little before adding, "And you already met Mudkip." She nodded towards the water-type. "Now, return, the both of you." She snapped into an annoyed attitude and sent both of them back into their balls before looking expectantly at Holly, who was ridiculing herself for not remembering that it was an Eevee. It took a minute for the younger girl to realize what Kayla was waiting for.
    "I don't have any Pokemon on me," she lied.
    "You don't?" Kayla was dumbstruck. "How are you on a Pokemon journey without any Pokemon?"
    "I'm not actually...I'm only nine..." Holly swallowed hard.
    "You can still own Pokemon if you're under ten. You just can't battle the Elite Four and stuff like that." Kayla looked at her questioningly. Holly gulped and was trying to think of a response when she noticed that Kayla was rubbing her forehead in an unusual manner--she was using the knuckles near the back of her hand. Holly could see a glint of red and then she realized that it was a jewel--almost identical to the ones on the Legendary Trio's heads and tails.
    "Where did you get that?" she asked, pointing.
    "What? Oh." Kayla nodded, realizing what Holly was talking about. "I had a professional do it for me when I was seven."
    "Does it...hurt?" Holly asked, the curiosity that only a young child can posses in her voice.
    "Um, no...not usually." Kayla pressed her lips together for a moment. "Y'see, lately...when I press it I hear these really weird voices...or I feel sick, like the life is being drained out of me." With a glance at Holly's face, she smiled and rolled her eyes. "Go ahead, call me crazy...hey, are you alright?"
    The nine-year-old had gone pale to the point where she was nearly white in the face, and she trembled with fear. Kayla put an arm around her shoulders.
    "Here, sit down and put your head between your knees...you look like you're going to faint..."
    "I'm fine," she objected, but she obviously wasn't. Kayla looked up as she heard Justin and Samantha walking over to the two of them, and when Holly heard the footsteps, she kicked herself for not hiding Mesprit.
    "Hey, Kayla." The boy smiled and nodded. "What's..." Suddenly he froze, jaw dropped, eyes stuck upon Mesprit.
    "Oh my God," the dark-haired girl whispered once she saw Holly's only companion.
    It didn't seem funny at the time, but later they would have a good laugh about Justin and Samantha gawking at Mesprit, Holly looking back at them, still completely pale, and Kayla just standing there asking, "What?"
     
  13. Shiny Pyxis

    Shiny Pyxis 2016 Singles Football

    I actually enjoy reading your story, Mudskipper. But, again, balance narration with speach, and try adding different types, I guess you can say. You seem to use speaking, then action.

    Example:
    You seem to be using that type of pattern a lot. Try to vary it a bit, like, in that sentence, you could've done, ""Hey," a soft voice sounded (or whatever else you want to do), "are you all right?"

    Maybe I'm just making this more difficult for you. I'm sorry if I am, but I'm just trying to give a few of my pointers. ^^;
     
  14. You aren't making it more difficult, Shiny, don't worry. ;) I just tend to write things in skit format more than I write them like an actual story--so naturally I focus more on speech than narration.
     
  15. Alright, I tried to have more narration and less speech in this chapter, and I think it turned out better. A bit long, but better.
    -------------------------------------
    Chapter Eight
    Azelf...you there?
    No reply.
    AZELF! Uxie screamed telepathically. I know you're there, now ANSWER ME!
    Ten seconds passed, then fifteen, then...
    I'm here...for Arceus's sake, please don't scream!
    Well, apparently I have to, in order to get you to respond.
    Uxie made a little "humph" noise.
    Look...I'm sorry. It's just...
    Just what?
    Well, you know the jewels on our tails.
    What about 'em?
    Uh, well um...
    Azelf gulped. The man...he pried one of mine out...
    He DID?
    Uxie snapped into a state of panic. Did he get any others? If he gets all of 'em, or almost all of 'em, he could make the Red Chain, and if he makes the Red Chain Arceus knows what'll happen, not only to us but to Sinnoh! Is Mesprit knocked out or something? I try to reach her, but there's something blocking us from communicating, and the only thing that's ever blocked the three of us from communicating is when someone's fainted. Did he get her jewels? And what about the girl? Is she...?
    Uxie!
    It took all Azelf's energy to scream. SHUT UP! One question at a time!
    Alright, fine...
    Uxie sighed and crossed his arms in front of him like a spoiled child.
    Alright then. No, he did not get any other jewels. Don't worry about the Red Chain. He only has one of mine--I don't know where he put it and besides, I'm always in this container so I can't exactly fly out and see. No, Mesprit is not knocked out, and the man does not have her jewels.
    What about the girl then? And what's going on with Mesprit?
    If you'll be patient I'll knock down two Starlys with one stone. The girl ran off with Mesprit.
    She DI--
    Uxie! Shut up and listen!
    Azelf growled. Now then. You see, when she and her father were moving me and Mesprit to this shed...
    ~*~
    Holly winced and longed desperately that she had never met Kayla and these two kids who seemed to be her friends, or her traveling companions, or both. They just kept staring at Mesprit, unable to believe it. As the color returned to Holly's cheeks, she bared her teeth and gave the kids a look that said, "You touch her and you die."
    The boy pointed a trembling finger at Mesprit. "Where...how did you...is it really possible to..." He seemed unable to finish his sentences.
    "Excuse me, will someone please tell me WHAT THE FRICK IS GOING ON?" shouted Kayla, exasperated. "Justin. Samantha. WHAT are you staring at? Holly. WHAT THE HECK is behind your back?"
    "Sprit," a small voice replied, and Holly felt Mesprit rise up and rest its elbows on her hair. "Sprit...Mes-PRIT!" it screamed before Kayla had time to react, and instantly a blinding white light pierced the vision of all four children, and what seemed like an insanely powerful Gust whipped up. It shrieked in Holly's ears so loudly she barely noticed Samantha and Justin screaming as they flew backwards and hit something--it sounded like one of them hit the brick wall and the other a shrub or something. Holly's eyes were screwed tight shut and she expected that Kayla would be knocked off her feet next...it seemed unlikely that she herself would, as Mesprit, the one controlling the whole thing, was on top of her head.
    She expected incorrectly. Although she did not see it, Kayla was covering her face in her arms, trying so hard to keep her feet on the ground. And when she opened her eyes again, although the wind was still blowing just as fiercely and the light was still just as blinding, a strange sense of calm took over her, and the world seemed fuzzy at first but soon the outlines of everything, every little detail, became crystal clear, as though she was looking through glasses with exactly the right prescription. Though the outlines were in black and everything else was white, like a huge coloring book, she could see Justin screaming bloody murder as he struggled to hang onto a small bush he must have blown up against, Samantha unconscious as she lay forced against the brick wall by the wind (Kayla guessed she must've hit her head and fainted), and Holly standing there, screeching as though she did not know she was making any noise at all, eyes closed, Mesprit still resting on her head as though nothing at all was happening.
    Kayla locked eyes with the small Pokemon, and it gave her a knowing look. When Kayla responded with a confused look, Mesprit lifted one hand and pressed the jewel in its forehead gently. As Kayla gulped and did the same, voices entered her head.
    ...told Mesprit to get down the back of her shirt--
    And Mesprit agreed to it?
    Well, yes, of course or she'd still be here--

    Then the two voices faded away, and Mesprit's cool, clear voice spoke instead.
    We're going to ignore them for now...
    Kayla tried to shout but she couldn't, and the legendary's voice replied,
    No, no, my girl. I don't want you yelling--then everybody will hear you. We're just going to keep this between the two of us. If you want to talk, just mouth what you want to say, or simply think it--it doesn't matter which.
    Kayla tried to force a cough just to hear herself make noise but when she was denied even the slightest sound, she took a deep breath and agreed silently to communicate by thought.
    What are you doing...
    What exactly do you mean?
    With the wind and the light and everything...
    Kayla motioned to Justin, who had gone into a sort of daze and was forcing himself to keep shouting, though he was quieter than before. Why did you have to do all this? Why couldn't you have just slipped away when I went to do something by myself and we could've talked then? The ten-year-old forced herself to breathe deeply. Her voice sounded like that of a small child's, no more than eight. And Mesprit's, well, Mesprit's was something entirely different...sort of like a grown woman's voice, but with a touch of mystery in it...something Kayla couldn't quite describe...
    Listen, my child.
    I am not a child!

    Kayla's half-protest, half-lie was ignored. You do not need to know that right now. Your friends are safe, do not worry. They are just resting for a bit... (Kayla stole a glance at Justin, who had now fainted; Holly was breathing lightly, like one does when they are asleep, yet she remained standing up.)
    No! Kayla screamed mentally, but again she was ignored.
    You think this is bad? You want to know what happened to MY friends? MY friends, the other two parts of the Legendary Trio? Uxie and Azelf?
    No, I do not!
    yelled Kayla. I just want you to stop torturing them and leave me alone!
    Oh, THAT, girl, is something I could never do...

    Kayla's free hand clenched into a fist; she tried to pull her other hand off the jewel in her forehead but it was stuck tight...
    I'll show you a more extreme version of what's happened to Azelf previously...then I'm letting Holly have a nap...and then I'm letting you make the connection...
    Kayla's breathing shortened, her heart started beating slowly and with a hollow sound. She choked and then her world went black, and had someone come along just then, they would've seen four children passed out on the grass, and they probably would've tried to wake each of them up, unless they were cruel, or in a hurry, or both. And if they were either or both of those things, they probably wouldn't have worried about whether the girl with her hand clamped to her forehead was really passed out...or if it was something worse.
    They probably wouldn't have worried if she needed urgent medical care or not.
     
  16. Doctor Oak

    Staff Member Overlord

    [​IMG]

    WALL OF TEXT ALERT.

    Seriously, get some paragraphs in this thing - it's just incessantly difficult to read without them.
     
  17. I read this whole thing straight through last night and now I'm hooked. Almost forgot to post here. Anyways, good work but like Doctor Oak said you may wanna get some paragraphs in this thing.
     
  18. ??? I have paragraphs in it. Or am I misunderstanding somehow and making myself look incredibly stupid and ignorant? (That would not be a first for me. :p)
     
  19. Sem

    Sem The Last of the Snowmen
    Former Administrator

    No you don't. :p Paragraphs are marks by indents (Tab key.) or a space between them. The latter works best on this forum.
     
  20. I thought they met hit Enter twice or something. Anyways, I like how the story is shaping up. Very nice, *applauds* damn, I know that's spelled wrong
     
  21. Sorry 'bout that, I'll make sure to add paragraphs from now on.
    ----------------------------------------------
    Chapter Nine
    "VEE!"
    "Oof!" Holly moaned.
    As the young girl sat up and looked at the Eevee that had jumped on her stomach, she asked, "Where'd you come fro--oh, wait. You're Kayla's, aren't you?" The Eevee nodded and Holly continued. "How'd you get out of the ball? You must be a pretty smart Eevee, being able to do that and all." Eevee grinned and Holly looked around; it was now almost dark and Justin, Samantha, and Kayla still lay unconscious in the grass around her. "Here, c'mon girl, help me wake them up?"
    "Ee." Eevee nodded and contently trotted over to Samantha, Holly catching the Pokemon as it was about to jump on Samantha like it had did to her.
    "You think we can find a nicer way to wake her up?" Holly asked, smiling, and Eevee nodded. Kneeling down, Holly shook Samantha by her shoulders, gently at first but harder as the girl did not get up. "C'mon, Sam, if you're this difficult to wake up..."
    The older child sat up suddenly. "Samantha. Please, SAMANTHA. Sam equals boy's name."
    Holly smiled. "Well, at least that got you up, right?"
    "Oh, you!" Samantha grinned and kicked her in the leg, but not hard enough to hurt. "Are the others up yet?"
    Holly shook her head. "No, but we can get 'em up."
    "Alright then." Getting to her feet, Samantha looked down at Eevee. "That Kayla's?"
    "Yep, pretty sweet thing too. If she's this nice to me--well, minus JUMPING ON MY STOMACH TO WAKE ME UP," Holly said it loudly and shot a glare at Eevee, who smiled sheepishly, "then I can only imagine what it does for Kayla."
    "Seriously? That thing obeys you? Wouldn't do a thing for Kayla."
    "Really?"
    Samantha nodded as she bent down and shook Justin. "Really. Now," she said, addressing the boy, "you get up too."
    "Huh? Wha..." Justin yawned and sat up. "What the heck happened?"
    "Hm." Samantha looked to Holly. "What did happen? Do you remember? 'Cause I sure don't. I mean..." She closed her eyes. "I remember Mesprit screaming its name...then the light...and the wind...and then nothing..."
    Justin nodded, everything slowly coming back to him. Holly rubbed her forehead with her knuckles. "I think...I think I was screaming too...and I heard you two getting blown against stuff...and--wait. I never heard Kayla hit anything...or go unconscious...then again, I think I got knocked out myself..." Shrugging, she put her hands up. "I dunno..."
    "Well," Justin said slowly, "if you never heard Kayla get knocked out, then maybe she knows more."
    "Like where Mesprit is?" Samantha asked, raising one eyebrow at Holly, who winced.
    "No...I don't know that either...sorry..."
    "Only one way to find out if Kayla knows more, then," Samantha replied, walking over and squatting down next to Kayla. As she touched the girl to shake her, suddenly her arm shot back and her eyes became wide with fear.
    "She feels cold. And I mean..." Samantha gulped, "...dead cold."
    "Oh God," whispered Justin, going white in the face as Holly turned her back and swallowed hard. Suddenly becoming aware that Eevee was tugging at her pant leg, she asked, "What?"
    "Vee," the Pokemon replied, pointing at a small bush that was rustling.
    "You want me to look in the bush?" Holly asked, confused, and Eevee nodded.
    From inside said bush, Mesprit winced.
    Oh great...
    ....if only one of them had gotten jewels carved in their forehead too...!

    ------------------------------------------
    I am thinking this was too speech-heavy :p
     
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