OOC:
Oh dear....
Listen, I DO see potential in you for RPing. Which is not that common from n00bs. However, that post has far too much wrong with it for it to ever work here. Or indeed, anywhere with standards.
First off, this simply wont do:
Ok now the setting is in a forest by a spring and is daytime
That is not what the OOC messages are for. This is EXACTLY the sort of information you should be ladelling into your main post and with a lot more detail and description than just 'a forest'...
Where is the forest? What's in the forest? What is the forest like? Is it tall or damp? Is it spooky or serene?
You're supposed to be setting the scene that will instruct what every other contributor has to build on in introducing their own character and then building on the RP.
"What a beautiful day isn't Treecko!"
First example of something you really NEED to pay attention to, and that's detail. You might think it's a mere niggle to complain over the absence of 'it' in that sentance - but without it, you've made reading your post
that much harder - and that turns people RIGHT OFF.
Also, I made it at a count of 4 uses of 'Alex' in about 7 sentances. As your English teacher will tell you, variety is key. Without it, again we all lose the will to read it.
There's also a complete lack of any description on any of the events. It's an empty post that makes people think you put absolutely no effort into writing this. Which will make people not want to put any effort into replying.
Also, Grammar, Spelling and General Good English are
YOUR FRIENDS. Work with them well and people will actually enjoy being
able to read your posts.
I'm giving you one chance to post that again in this topic but this time take my comments into account and make it better. If you can do that, you'll be on the road to becoming an accepted RPer.
If you fail to be able to do that, I was sadly wrong in my prediction of potential in you and you're lack of willingness to actually bother to put some effort into this will indicate fully how little respect you deserve.
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Edit:
Also, your sig and badly inverted avatar picture are giving me a headache. Please remove/improve them, before I impose official regulations on such things.
