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Death and Other Stories

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by Weeds, Oct 18, 2010.

  1. So I've failed miserably in all of my attempts at maintaining longer fics, but short stroies I can manage. So I decided to create this little corner of my tales. And who knows; maybe one of them will become a longer continuing story. But that is for the future, as the following story most certainly will not continue.

    ~~~

    Annie's End

    Annie sighed. She looked down at the knife in her hand. The long sharp blade was reflecting the evening light. Somehow it did not look threatening at all. Actually the knife looked rather comforting. As if it was inviting her to step into it's embrace. And after all that Annie had been through, it wasn't very surprising at all.

    Annie sighed again. Her room was bathing in the golden light of the setting sun. The shadows of the trees outside danced across her face. Her hair was shimmering in an almost golden way. Annie smiled. What a nice way to end all of this, she thought for herself. Ironically this was the first time Annie had smiled for weeks. It had all started so long ago. She'd met Ian, the nicest guy ever. He was handsome and athletic, he had brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He was popular and had a lot of friends. To sum it up, the perfect guy.

    She'd been so in love. At first it seemed as if Ian had felt the same way towards her. Annie hadn't suspected anything, not when their relationship grew colder, not when she didn't see him for weeks, not when the few times they met he was asking her for money. Because she had been so in love that she overlooked all his flaws. But one day the cup ran over. It happened in a local shopping center. Annie had come to buy some schoolbooks. As she came to the bookstore she was met by her worst nightmare, one that would never cease to haunt her dreams. Ian was sitting on the bench, in another girl's arms. They were deeply entwined, and Annie felt sick. He was touching her tenderly and gently in a way that Annie had only dreamt he would treat her.

    At some point Ian had looked up and seen Annie. All he did was nod at her, then he turned back to the woman in his arms. Annie had turned and ran home. She had cried and vomited until she felt there was nothing left inside, and then cried some more. All the love and devotion she had felt towards Ian had been crumpled up and tossed back at her. Annie was not herself after this event anymore. The once so happy girl became very antisocial. At first her friends were worried for her and tried their best to help her, but when Annie turned all their effort down they finally gave up and left her alone.

    Annie had watched her life crumble to pieces in front of her. Not only did she not have friends anymore, but her grades were falling as well. She didn't dare fall asleep at night, in fear of seeing Ian in her dreams. As a result she had trouble concentrating in school, and she was always very distant. Her parents tried their best to help her, but in vain. Annie was not open for help, and she had yelled at her parents yo leave her and her life alone.

    And now she was here. At some point she had realised she didn't have to torment herself with the burden of life. She had tried to contemplate other options, but in the end she had made up her mind. Annie knew that her parents had made an appointment with a psychologist the following day, so she had to do it now. She did not want to hesitate, this was what she was going to do, and she did not want anyone to try and convince her she didn't know what was right.

    Annie looked back down at the knife. Now's as good a moment as any, she decided. There was one thing she had to check first, though. Annie got up from the floor and walked over to her desk. It was empty, except for one small folded piece of paper. She opened it and read what she had scribbled there.

    It's better to have blood on the carpet than tears.

    She nodded to herself, satisfied. She sat back down on the carpet and grabbed the knife. She watched it as she raised her hand. There was no going back. It was almost as if the knife spoke to her. "Just take a deep breath and let me handle this", it said to her. Annie closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and let the knife do its job.

    She was not controlling her hand when it and the knife it was holding plunged down towards the exposed wrist of her other arm. Annie hardly felt when the sharp kitchen knife hit her pale skin. All she could feel was a tingling sensation, and a warmth when the blood started to gush out. She opened her eyes. Her wrist was bloody, and it was dripping down onto the carpet. Annie raised her hand and slashed the knife over her wrist one more time, to make sure the job was done correctly. She was surprised at how painless the whole procedure was. She was surprised that dying felt so good. She sat there for a moment, until she noticed how dizzy and tired she was. Annie carefully let herself fall back onto the carpet. She closed eyes and let the darkness overcome her.

    ~***~​

    Annie blinked. Her eyelids fluttered, and then she opened her eyes. She looked up into the ceiling. She wasn't in heaven, she was still in her bedroom on her own carpet. Had it not worked? She lifted her left arm in front of her eyes. The sun had set long ago, so it wasn't very easy to see. Still she could make out a large gaping hole in the middle of her wrist. The bleeding had stopped, but the lower part of her arm was still covered in blood that had started to dry, and so was the carpet around her.

    Annie sat up. It was dark outside, she could barely see anything around her. After a moment her eyes grew used to the darkness and she saw more clearly. Her room was exactly as she had left it. Her parents weren't home yet. They wouldn't be before morning, and Annie knew this. Of course no one would have noticed her yet. Annie felt so disappointed. There were no large gates, no meadows of Heaven, not even flames of Hell. She was still in her room, where she had cried alone so many times before. Annie stared out the window. What was she going to do now?

    She didn't exactly know what made her notice the man standing in her doorway. She didn't see him before she turned her head, and she didn't notice his presence. She simply turned her head and saw him there. She wasn't surprised at all. She wasn't afraid. The man didn't say anything. He just stood there, and she knew he was looking at her, even though she couldn't see his eyes.

    The man was wearing a hooded cape that managed to shroud his entire body. The hood covered his face completely, and Annie couldn't make out where his cape ended and where the shadows of the night began. They looked at each other for a while, completely immobile. Annie couldn't stop a tear from rolling down her cheek.

    ”Why are you crying, Annie?” he asked. His voice was everything and nothing. It was a deep bass and a high pitched tenor at the same time. It was a lover's tender whisper and a farther's strict command. It was a gentle summer morning and a harsh winter night. It was everything and nothing.

    ”I know who you are,” Annie replied. She was surprised at how firm her voice sounded when she just felt like weeping.

    ”Oh?” the man replied, tilting his head to the side. He paused for a while, and then continued. ”Are you afraid?”

    Annie shook her head. ”No, I'm not afraid,” she replied after a while.

    ”I thought so,” the man said. He let silence grasp them both for a moment. Annie knew that the man was waiting for her to continue.

    ”I just think you've come here in vain,” Annie said to answer the man's question.

    ”And that's why you're crying?” the man asked. Annie nodded.

    ”That's very compassionate of you,” said the man. ”But why would you think I've come in vain?”

    Annie looked at the man like he was stupid. ”I'm here, aren't I? I'm not dead,” she explained.

    The man crossed his arms and tilted his head again, as if pondering for a minute. After a while he spoke again. ”You look pretty dead to me.”

    ”But I'm not! I'm still here! I can still control my body, I'm not a ghost, I'm still alive!” Annie was yelling now. Couldn't he see her there on the floor? How could he claim that she was dead when she was sitting on the floor with full control of her body?

    The man didn't reply. He nodded. Not in approval, but as a sign for Annie to look behind her. Annie calmed down. She hesitated for a moment, and then looked behind her.

    She was lying on the floor. Annie could see her own face, eyes closed, with a calm face, as if she was asleep. She moved her gaze to her left arm. It was a mess, just like when she had checked it after waking up. Annie switched her a gaze again, moving down over her chest. She then noticed that she was split in two at the hips. She stood up. Her body didn't move. It was still lying there on the carpet, as if she was asleep.

    Annie simply stood next to her body for a while, staring at herself in disbelief. ”Oh,” she said softly after a while. The hooded man nodded.

    Silence reigned for a few more moments. Finally Annie turned her gaze towards the man. ”So I'm dead now?” she said carefully.

    The man nodded again. ”Indeed.”

    Annie looked up into the ceiling and closed her eyes. This was what she had wanted. What she had decided to do. She didn't feel any regret whatsoever. No longing to go back. She had made a decision and she was sticking to it. Not that she had any other options anymore. She looked back down at her body. What pains that body had been through. But it was over now. No more pain, no more sorrow.

    She turned her head towards the man. ”We'll have to be going soon, right?”

    ”Yes.”

    ”Tell me one thing before we go,” Annie said. ”What's it like in Hell?”

    The man didn't respond physically, as Annie had expected. Then again she wasn't surprised to find her expectations proven wrong. This was no ordinary man. ”I prefer to call it the other side,” he replied.

    ”Well, what's it like on the other side then?”

    Death's reply was very simple. ”You'll see when we get there.”
     
    #1 Weeds, Oct 18, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2013
  2. Very interesting. In a way, it shows that telling a mentally disturbed person they are going to get help could cause them to move faster. In addition, Death seems to have no stigma against suicides, unlike what I have read in other stories. This story was very entertaining.
     
  3. At first I concidered making Death cold towards Annie because she had comitted suicide, but in the end I went with this because I wanted Death to be completely neutral to everything. He's not completely emotionless though, as he is very slightly thankful for Annie crying for him. (Note very slightly.)

    Thanks for your comment! :)
     
  4. I have that same problem. It's not that I don't have a good storyline and haven't planned the whole thing out - it's just I can't be bothered to write it. Anyway, to the story.

    I really do like this story. It doesn't seem to be a tragity at all from Annie's perspective, and is rather conforting and calming somehow, yet it's a story about death and suicide which I'm under the impression that people should see as a tragity. It's good for you: You got an emotional reaction out of me.

    I'd like to read some more of your short stories. This one was really calming.
     
  5. Are you going to explore Hell/the Afterlife a bit in your other stories, or was this a one-shot?
     
  6. Thanks for the comment Aura! Always happy to get some feedback :)

    Actually I was planning to do one or two more Death stories, but I don't think I'll be "exploring the Afterlife" as you put it. My picture is that the Other Side differs from person to person, meaning everyone sees the Afterlife in a different way. I'd be having to create one post-Death story for each Death I create, and I they'd be lacking a message or a story. The next one is under planning and will appear here soon :)
     
  7. That makes perfect sense. Does that mean in your universe the people don't interact?
     
  8. That is a much harder question to answer. I think it'd go more like everyone has their own Afterlife, but they can interact with other dead souls. However if for example Annie would meet another dead soul, she would see him/her and the most crucial parts of the Afterlife that person is experiencing, i.e if Annie meets a boy playing with a toy car, she could see the boy and the car, but nothing else of that boy's Afterlife. Does that make sense?
     
  9. Hey hey guys, I'm back. Sorry it took me so long, I had a case of writer's block and lack of interest in the story I was writing, so I started this. It's short, I know, but I'll be posting more on this particular story.

    Oh, and another thing. I've decided to put song lyrics into my texts, so that you guys can look for them. Kinda silly I know, but I realized I did it by accident in the first one and decided to make it my "thing" (can you find it in the first one? It's only two words though, while this one has an entire phrase.) Anyway, here we go!

    ~~~

    The Boy Who Knew Nothing

    It was a normal day for Ten. He got up at seven in the morning and went to school, where he was now. Ten sighed as his teacher went through how the Egyptians had built their pyramids. Sure, it was an interesting subject, but the history teacher he had was one of the worst ones Ten had ever had. First he had asked how the Egyptians managed to get blocks of limestone carved out of the mountain and in the shape they wanted. Ten had answered, and the teacher said he was wrong. After waiting for someone else to answer, the teacher explained that what they did was exactly what Ten had said. The class had started laughing, and the teacher had no idea why.

    So it was a relieved Ten that left the history class. History was followed by French. Ten looked down in the ground, depressed. His life just staggered on and on. The same boring daily routine. That's why Ten loved reading and videogames so much. They allowed him to escape his boring reality, at least for an hour or two. In the end, he always had to return to his boring reality. He had no idea of what was coming.

    ”Heyo Ten!”

    Ten looked up. It was one of his best friends, Wes. He was a few centimeters higher than Ten, and almost half a year older. Wes's hair was messy and dark, while Ten's was short and blond-ish brown, but it couldn't actually be seen that much from below his grey hat. Wes was wearing an olive green hoodie and dark blue jeans. Ten was dressed quite similarly, only with a navy blue hoodie and light blue jeans. Wes was smiling, as always.

    ”Ready for some cool kid French ol' buddy?”

    Ten rolled his eyes. ”Can't wait.” Wes laughed.

    Ten scanned his classmates. Most of them were going home, while a few where coming along for French. Wes went on in his usual happy manner, not noticing how Ten was feeling down. The rest of Ten's classmates, however, noted how he felt and decided to leave him alone. Ten had to strain himself to not scream at Wes to shut up.

    French class passed in a blur. Ten couldn't remember anything of the entire lesson. He was almost as relieved to get out from there as he was with history earlier. Without excusing himself he left for the bus stop and from there to home. Ten slept through the bus ride and almost missed his stop. An angry bus driver was throwing swearwords at him as he stepped off the bus.

    Ten got home and turned on his laptop. It had been a present for his sixteenth birthday, and he was very fond of it. He plugged in his mp3 and started to download some OST onto it. Leaving the loading alone for a while, Ten turned on the net. He was having a hard time concentrating, as he kept throwing glances at a book he had just obtained. Quickly checking the downloading, Ten was met by something peculiar.

    His laptop was saying his mp3 had run out of memory. That's weird, I thought it still had a lot of free space... Unplugging his mp3, Ten pressed the ON button. No response. He tried again. Still no response. Confused, he replugged the machine. His laptop couldn't find the device. Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Why does this shit keep happening to me?

    Furious, Ten threw the mp3 onto his bed, grabbed his new book and started reading. Finally he could relax. Finally he could escape his miserable little life. His dull reality, and escape into the story of the book, fantasy, as usual. The book kept him occupied for a few hours, during which the rest of his family came home from school and work. He kept reading until it was time for dinner, then continued after that.

    Ten was interrupted by his mom opening the door to his bedroom and informing him that they were going to sleep. Noticing how much the time was, Ten yawned, put away the book and made his way to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, put on his pyjamas and went to bed.

    If he had only known that this night would change his life forever.
     
  10. Dun dun DUUUUN! That was quite a sudden cliffhanger. I have a feeling his doom has something to do with his mp3 player.
     
  11. Woah that is so much like my life that it's not even funny. I call it my "Place where everything passes by without anything interesting ever happening." Nice cliffhanger, very mysterious. Looking forwards to knowing exactly what happens in the night to change his life forever. Guessing by the title, something to make him more aware of everything?
     

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