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Christmas Special 2011

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by Sem, Dec 13, 2011.

  1. Sem

    Sem The Last of the Snowmen
    Former Administrator

    This should be wrapped up by the time Christmas actually rolls around, but it'll have at least three parts to it. Here's the first one.

    Part One

    It was mid-December, where half the world was decorated with lights and trees and other festive symbols. It was a time of great stress for many – the need to go out and drive one’s self crazy buying gifts for others while still making sure they can pay the bills, while still making sure they don’t kill extended family members who they’ve been dreading to see again.

    Despite this, it was also a more joyful time of year, where most people were just a teeny bit nicer than during any other time of year. Yes, they were still awful to each other, but the ‘teeny bit’ was just enough to make a difference most of the time. People love giving almost as much as they love receiving, and so it was with a warm heart that they handed a wrapped package over to a friend or family member, waiting to see the expression on their face once they saw what the gift was.

    Yes, aside from the stress it wasn’t such a bad time of year, especially if you also ignored the corporations that manipulated the masses into buying their products under the guise of helping them find something one of their dear ones really wants. But who wants to care about all of that? In the end, it’s the thought that counts, right?

    This was a special time of year for Sem and Sorena as well. This was the time of year where Sem lost himself to all reason for the mere sake of beating his neighbors to a nasty pulp in the annual contest that took place in their community that judged which house was the best decorated. Yes, he was simply filled with the spirit of the holidays.

    “What about these lights…” Sem murmured to himself, holding a package of multicolor outdoor lights.

    “I thought you had decided on white lights,” Sorena said dryly. The middle-aged-looking woman stood in the aisle with Sem, staring into empty space, hands clasped together just below her chest, covered by long black sleeves. She was incredibly bored. Sem had been participating in the contest ever since they had moved into their current home, which was about ten years ago. He had won every single year, save for the last. A new neighbor snatched the top prize from under his nose, forcing him to settle for second place.


    “Hey, it’s me again,” he said when he and Sorena had gone over to her house after the contest had ended. “I just wanted to say congratulations. You have a beautiful home.” Sem had a plate of gingerbread cookies with him. His smile was warm and his eyes seemed genuine, but Sorena knew Sem was trying very hard not to suddenly burst every single pipe, faucet, toilet, and showerhead in the woman’s house.

    “Aw, thanks so much!” she had replied. The woman was a professional football player’s wife and her voice was a bit shrill. She had way too much makeup on. “Better luck next year, right?” she added with a bit of sneer. She was also stuck-up.

    At that there was a loud pop from somewhere within the home and her children ran across the hall screaming. The sound of a lot of water pouring out onto the home’s very nice hardwood floors could be easily heard from the front door.

    The woman stifled a scream and ran to her kitchen, splashing through an inch of water that was running out into the hallway. Sem casually stepped into the house and set the plate of cookies near the doorway. On the plates there was a little card which read “Happy Holidays”. The cookies were perfectly round and had smiley faces on them. And then he and Sorena left, Sem having a wicked smile on his face.


    Sem wasn’t planning to lose this year, especially not to that woman who had somehow won with the most gaudy and awful decorations. There was no coordination. There was no tact.

    “Yes, white lights,” Sem muttered, setting the package of multicolored lights down. “I could do colored ones, though!” he expressed, turning around to face Sorena who was still staring into nothingness. “I’d have to make a few adjustments to the overall plan, but I could!”

    Yes, there was a plan. It was drawn out too.

    Sem unrolled a large white parchment that he had held between his arm and torso. He studied it with his cerulean eyes, instantly picking out what would need to be changed if the lights for the house were suddenly multicolored. If he weren’t so indecisive Sorena wouldn’t care so much, but he was always changing his mind and making adjustments to his overall grand scheme of things.

    “Can I help you?” asked a store employee very tentatively, casting multiple glances at the middle-aged-looking woman who was dressed in all black and looked like a witch. Her expression said that she wasn’t being paid enough to work at a store visited by lunatics.

    “I’m fine, thank you,” Sem replied politely, looking away from his large scroll.

    “What about your grandmother? I could get her a wheelchair or something…” she offered in a voice that was a bit more quiet.

    The comment snapped Sorena out of her reverie.

    “I could at least pass for his mother!” she said indignantly.

    “We’re fine, thank you,” Sem repeated, shooing the employee away.

    “Just hurry up and buy your lights,” Sorena hissed, settling back into her previous, statuesque posture.

    Of course, Sem’s phone began to ring. He pulled it from his pocket and answered it before handing it to Sorena.

    The woman stared at the phone for a moment, seeing the caller ID, shot a glare at Sem, and then snatched the phone from his hand.

    “What do you want?” Sorena growled.

    “Well, I was hoping to talk to Sem. If I had wanted you I would have called you.” The voice on the other end of a line belonged to a young woman named Lysis.

    “What does she want?” Sem asked as he scanned through a row of white lights.

    “That’s what I just asked her!” Sorena replied.

    “Well, seems you’re both a bit cranky today,” Lysis said. “Ask Sem if he’s interested in helping me decorate my place.”

    “Oh, he’s quite busy trying to decorate our own house,” Sorena replied simply, putting a hand to her hip.

    “Please don’t use words like ‘ours’ – it makes you sound like a couple.”

    Sorena pressed the large red ‘End Call’ button on the touch screen and huffed.

    The phone rang again.

    “What?” Sorena answered with a flat expression.

    “Why is he decorating the house anyway? Can’t you just use magic? You know, bippity boppity boo?”

    “I’ll bippity boppity your boo,” Sorena muttered. “No, he insists on doing it himself every year. He wants to win this house decorating contest the neighborhood does annually.”

    “… Is that so? Interesting…” Lysis mused.

    “These lights are a bit too small, but I like their more crystalline appearance versus the simple frosted bulbs of these lights, except the frosted bulbs are the size that I want,” Sem explained as he held two different packages of lights.

    “… It’s like a sickness,” Lysis commented. “I thought only the hag had little mental issues like that.”

    “I’m going to hang up again,” Sorena said.

    “Fine. I’ll just get Francis to help me. He’s surely forgiven me by now…” The young woman’s voice trailed, recalling Thanksgiving incident just a few weeks prior. “Ta-ta for now, loves,” she chimed before ending the call herself.

    “’Ta-ta for now, loves,’” Sorena mimicked in a ridiculing manner as she handed Sem’s phone back. “Who does she think she is?”

    “She thinks a lot of things about herself,” Sem said as he glanced at a third kind of white lights. “… or do I want icicle lights?”

    Only a couple hours had passed by the time the two walked out of the store, Sem feeling good about his choices this year. However, things will not go as planned.

    To be continued…
  2. "I'm bippity boppitying your boo!"

    Best line ever. I'm tempted to use this in the unofficial pickup line contest I have with my coworkers. XD
  3. baratron

    baratron Moderator of Elder Scrolls
    Staff Member Moderator

    So where's the rest of it, then? I'm sure Christmas has happened by now :p

    Although, I suppose, if you go by the Orthodox Church calendar, it won't be until January 6th :D

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