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Blisk's Hall of Poetry

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by Blisk, Dec 7, 2009.

  1. Didn't think a poem deserved a whole topic to itself so I have all my works here.

    My Elemental Poems

    Air
    Blowing pleasant scents
    Our way
    With your push.

    Thrusting waves
    Toward our shores
    Of sand.

    Destroying towns
    With your swirling
    Of death.

    Delivering us life
    Through your gift of
    Oxygen.

    Water
    Cascading down rocky walls
    Forming into a pool
    Of liquid beauty.

    Moon affecting your levels
    Of magnificent height
    During the course of the day.

    Earthquakes causing vast waves
    Of your destructive power
    To drown islands.

    Calmly resting
    In a hidden cave
    As an immense lake.

    Earth
    Forming great dunes
    Of plentiful
    Sand.

    Becoming metals
    Of splendor
    In caves.

    Destroying grand cities
    With your trembling
    Crust.

    Giving us life
    With your
    Gifts of plants.

    Fire
    Warming humans
    With your heat
    During a cold night.

    Bringing death
    To a peaceful forest
    Filled with life.

    Giving us hope
    In a hopeless world
    Of fear and hate.

    Resting on
    Our torches
    During a struggle.



    Please post your comments. I would love constructive criticism!
     
  2. Wow, these are exellent! I made a poem for school and got a C+. Heh, heh, heh.
     
  3. Also please comment on what you liked/disliked about them. Just putting excellent is nice, but I'd prefer more detail. And thank you, Toad Dude.
     
  4. I like how you formed your poems of 3 lines with 4 paragraphs/stanzas(?)(Not sure what to call it) I like it cause if I were to write a poem that's how I would do it. This is my minor OCD ticks kicking in but I like how the 3 lines x 4 paragraph/stanzas equal 12 a nice even number.
     
  5. Thanks. Didn't know that small of a detail would mean so much.


    I will write a few more poems when I get time. Hard to balance school with finals coming up, planning my fanfics, and poetry.
     

  6. Yeah I know what you mean finals then hanging out with friends, then that project I got to finish it tends to be a real pain in the ass.
     
  7. I think these poems well portray the traits of things in moderation/different uses/forms. You have a very lulling...what is it? beat? at least the way I read it.

    What I am trying to say is the rocking melody of (for example) BLOWing PLEAsant SCEnts suits the poems well. The only negative comment I have is that "with your push" doesn't seem to carry the same beat, but it's an okay choice.
     
  8. Thanks I'll keep that in consideration when I write more. :)
     
  9. Night

    Bellowing in chilly winds
    The moon comes in from afar
    Owls hooting with their kin
    The splashing of a nearby gar.

    Crickets chirping through the night
    Calling in a possible mate
    Snakes that give mammals a fright
    Stomachs full from what they just ate.

    Creatures here and beware
    Of what's sulking in the dark
    Oh what's that there
    The sun lights up this park.
     

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