Artistic Self-Loathing?

[Shiny Blue Gardevoir]

I get this way too often. Sometimes (but not often) I'll look at what I've just written and think that it's good, but other times, I'll pass it off as mediocre at best. Or complete and total shit. Sometimes I wonder if it really is the mythical artistic self-loathing, in that I hate it because I wrote it, and I wouldn't judge it so harshly if it were written by someone else, but often, I find myself thinking that maybe, my work truly is terrible....

Anyone else get this?

 

[Keleri]

Oh yeah, all the time. It's practically a cliche for media creators. I find twitter overwhelming, but there have been good discussions there with big-name writers commiserating about getting exactly that feeling, so I'm comforted by the fact that we seem to be in good company. The difference between an amateur and a professional is that the professional keeps going even if they're getting that THIS IS SHIT I'M SHIT I SHOULD GO LIVE IN THE WOODS IN A CANOE feeling. Eventually the funk passes and you can edit or redraw and get it right, but it's a lot harder to start from that blank page.

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

Exactly what Keleri said.

And I'm pretty sure some of it derives from the fact that no matter how we good we can get things on paper (or on a digital file), it will most likely never look or sound or flow as well as it did in our heads, and we have a tendency to judge our works too harshly for that reason.

Doesn't help that most of us artist types treat the creative thing as a huge part of what we are and thus it tends to be fairly easy to project dissatisfaction with where we currently are or where our current work is right now on the rest of our self-worth, and that many of us tend to compare our work/current skills (even without intending to) to those of others whose artistic evolution was wholly different than our own. Gog knows how many times I've doubted my own creativity as a whole over silly things, or got myself incredibly frustrated with how effortlessly some people seem to get things that I still can't wrap my brain around or drain me while I'm working on them faster than usual.

But yeah. One thing to remember is that most of the people actually looking at/reading/listening to/summoning unholy cacodemons using our works don't get why we're so hard on ourselves because they don't see the images in our heads. Only we do. And as for technical skills and the like go - those improve with practice and sometimes tutorials or the right instructors can help us suddenly understand something that we were struggling with for long. So, there you have it, then. ^^

 

[Skippidypowpow]

I get that feeling with my art.

I'll draw something and be like, "This is terrible! Nobody will like it!" Even when I drew the comic I have on my page, I still like it, but I feel like I could have improved upon Eevee. At least people like it.

Also, @StellarWind Elsydeon You are somewhere in my 2,000 likes comic. Idk when that event will occur, but I'll tag you in it when it comes out as part of the cast.

 

[The Snom Prince]

We all get it I remember seeing how we see our work as below others I get it all the time against users I say are my friends either thinking "God she has no clue what she's doing" or "That is just plain shit" and I get the written thing too because everyone does but in the end we can't get rid of it as much as we wish to

 

[Skippidypowpow]

I took pride in my fanmade region, but I usually don't like anything but my Written stuff, even though plan to have a lot more art in the Creative Corner. I know I'll have a ton more come me getting 2,000 likes, but I don't know if I should post Ethea art right now.

 

[Aura]

Aaaaaalll the time mate. There's a lot of my art I literally cannot stand to look at anymore and have come very close to deleting the files for as well (but I feel it's best to keep records of progress so I manage to restrain myself). Usually it does take some time to get to that stage though - I often at least tolerate my art when I finish it because I just feel good about finishing the picture, but thing's quickly go downhill once that feeling wears off. It's very rare for me to find a picture that I like for a consistently long period of time (of all the art I've posted on 'Charms, I think there are only four non-recently completed artworks that I still really like).

I've kind of just accepted my feelings towards my art aren't really the best. I'm just a very critical person in general who is often told that I need to stop being so hard on myself, so it's not surprising that I also view my art this way. Besides, it's not enough to deter me from drawing anyway because the process is so much fun, so it doesn't bother me too much.

 

[Ry_Burst]

With the self-loathing, I feel personally it's all in ones head. This doesn't exclude me form feeling this, as I feel it at a constant. Believe it or not, I live for someone to tell me my work doesn't suck. But something I've learned is that we judge ourselves more harshly, then others do. And maybe sucking is sometimes needed. I see a lot of my stories, I wrote when I first posted, and think, this is complete and utterly shit. And in a sense it is. Having self-loathing (In my opinion) is a way to improve. You see what you've done and you say, "Oh this sucks." And so you go back and pick out what's wrong and improve. Simply saying it's crap and walking away gives it no use. There isn't much more I can say that makes me even sound remotely original, considering, @Keleri said, is pretty much true.

But as an extra point, don't think of any self-loathing as something that gets in the way. I see it as you telling yourself you need to improve. It's your drive to improve, because as the cliche says (which is extremely true), "There is always room to improve."

 

[Shiny Blue Gardevoir]

Sometimes the loathing isn't totally unfounded, however. They say that the patient often knows what's wrong before they see the doctor, and in my case, that's almost always true. If I think that my ending is weak, or that a plot element is unbelievable, and I go to one of my IRL writer friends about it, they'll nine times out of ten tell me that my concerns were totally right. Even if it is true that I judge my own work way more harshly than I do other people's (And I really throw other people's work through the meat grinder)