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All That For a Mantyke?!

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by Secad MS, May 24, 2009.

  1. Okay, here is a fic I have had floating around for a while. I hope it is good, and I hope to get good, constructive advice, as I hope for it to get even better.

    It all started when I first wondered, 'What do all the under-tens do?' What also prompted me to write this is when I found there were a bunch of fics here about those who were new trainers or adult trainers, but no under-tens, so the I decided the under-tens needed to be written about, too.

    As a note, this is mostly in the view of a seven-year-old, so the vocab and everything will be rather simplistic.

    In addition, I must note that Rob came out of a longing for non-bratty little kids in today's society. Why should six-year-olds act like they're sixteen?

    Edit: Updates will be rather sporadic until I get my whole summer in order.

    All That For a Mantyke?!

    Chapter One: The Ambition​

    "Mommy, Mommy!" Little Rob called, running into the cream-colored kitchen, in his blue pajamas covered in small Mantykes and Mantines, bathed in early morning light. Skidding to a halt just inches from the jutting edge of the speckled, dark grey counter, he exclaimed, "Guess what? It's my birthday today! I'm seven!"

    His mother, a tall, dark-haired, happy woman in dark green plaid pajama pants and a white tank top, with a nice, almost-always existing smile on her face, feigned disbelief. She heavily dropped her glass of orange juice she was drinking from before on the counter next to the over-sink window to emphasize her response of "Really? I still thought you were six, Mister! Happy birthday." Mussing his auburn hair as she passed him to go make breakfast, she asked, "Since it's your birthday, what do you want? You can have nearly anything."

    "Can I have a Pokemon?" Rob asked, his brown eyes lighting up. "I want a Mantyke! Chris has a Buizel! His mom got it for him on his seventh birthday. I want a Water type, too. Then we could go swimming nearly everywhere, ‘cause I could dig a hole with Dad's Dugtrio, and he could fill it up!"

    His mother chuckled, smoothing back her poofy, shoulder-length locks. "Sorry, kiddo. You'll have to wait until you're ten. We don't even have Mantyke in this area, Rob." She said, referencing their home in Solaceon Town. "And I was asking about breakfast, silly. What'dll it be? Spoinks in a Blanket? Bluk Berry waffles? Spinda Pancakes? Or how about your favorite, a Manty Surprise?"

    "Mantyke Surprise! I'll have that, please." He replied, happily. "I'll go get Daddy!"

    As Rob ran out, Gera (as that was the mother's name) sighed in happy exasperation. "Thank goodness it's a weekend. And his birthday, to boot. I doubt Filbert would have gotten up at seven A.M. for anything else."


    "Dad-Dad-Dad-Dad!" Rob yelled as he ran up the stairs to his parent's bedroom, barging through the door to be visited by the feet of his father. "Wake up! I'll get Yikesy-girl to eat your toes!" he finished, giggling. Yikes was their pet Shinx. She tended to nibble on unattended, food or food-looking objects, something the Qintuses never liked. They often said ‘Yikes, don't let her eat that' when they first got her, hence the name.

    "It'sh smevin in the morn-" Rob's father started, looking at the digital clock near the bed, his voice muffled by his face in the pillow, until he was cut off my his son.

    "But D-ad, it's my birthday." He whined.

    "It ish?"

    "Go get dressed or something while I get up." Rob's father said, finally lifting his face out of his pillow from under the burgundy covers, revealing dark, wavy blonde hair and light grey eyes, blinking at the sudden appearance of the oppressive light. "You know me. When I don't have to work, it takes a while."

    "Okay!" Rob replied, dashing off to his room across the hall. "Mom's making breakfast! It's Manty Surprise!"

    "Good. I love blue-colored Bluk Berry pancakes with whipped cream, grapes, and chocolate syrup. Now go get dressed." He responded unenthusiastically as he was trying to get himself out of bed.


    "These are great!" Rob said, quickly devouring the last bites of his pancakes. Brushing off the crumbs from his favorite green-and- blue Crasher Wake t-shirt and grey jean cutoffs, he asked "So who's coming to my party?"

    "Everyone from your class, except for Jessica, Kody, and Uriah. They have to go somewhere else today." Filbert replied, getting up from his seat at the table to put the dishes in the sink for him to wash later, of course. Thankfully he had changed from a t-shirt and boxers to his usual striped polo and jeans for non-work days. "One's already out of town and vacationing in Hoenn, and the others are at doctor's appointments or something. It's a pity they're going to miss an awesome party like yours, seven-year-old."

    However, there was a little air of disappointment from Rob, as he already knew his mother couldn't be there. She had to work that day. "Do you have to go to work, today, Mom?" he tried, thinking that if he asked enough he could have an effect.

    "Yes, I'm sorry I have to miss your party, but Mr. Ingry has to go to a funeral today. I have to do his cases today, instead." His mother replied, in her navy pantsuit used for her occupation as a social worker. "But Dad will still be here. Don't worry, I'll be home by eight at the latest, I promise."

    "Okay, Mommy." Rob said, sighing, hugging his mother goodbye. "You have everything?"

    "Yes. Have a good birthday, Robert." She said, teasing him while she pulled up her brown leather briefcase to show him, shaking it gently. "And many more! Fil, feed Yikes, too, please."

    "Doing it, Gera." Fil replied, hearing Yikes' electrical-ish yowls from under the table.


    "Happy Birthday, Rob!"

    A chorus of happy voices rang in the front yard of the Qintusues' tan-colored home. About ten children three adults other than Filbert, and three Pokemon were there total, sitting on small grey folding chairs and tables (that just had to be covered in Crasher Wake tablecloths) covered in presents, pizza, and of course, a nice blue-frosted chocolate cake. Rob had just blown out the candles on said cake, the smoke drifting upwards to dissipate in the clear afternoon sky. Filbert's Togekiss was flying above, humming pleasant notes while swooping in and out of the smoke, making some children gasp in happiness.

    "Who's ready to open presents?" asked another father in a yellow t-shirt and shorts who was yanking a munching Yikes off one of the pizza boxes.

    "I am! I am! I am! I am!" Rob called, dashing over to grab the biggest box, beginning a bit of a battle between grabby, jealous first-graders and parents who wanted to keep the peace.

    In one attending mother's words, they were like "Hungry Staraptor all descending upon a little Bidoof with stuffed Pokemon, candy, and toy Gym Leaders in his arms. Except this little Bidoof elbowed the Staraptor in their stomachs. Hard."


    "Are you ready to apologize for elbowing Arnie?" Rob's father said, arms crossed, watching Rob serve his five-minute timeout in the hall.

    "Yes, Dad." Rob replied, pouting. "But Arnie took Crasher Wake! He didn't even ask."

    "I know, but he's not getting any presents, so he felt bad. I and you know he should have asked, but you shouldn't have hurt him. But you've thought about it. You can come out now."

    Rob slowly stood up and turned around, still pouting about having to be taken out of the festivities. However, as he got to the stairs, he immediately dashed down them and got his sandals on, sadness and anger forgotten.

    "Hey!" called Chris, one of his friends, his Buizel dashing over with him to the auburn-haired boy. "I didn't get to give you this present since you got sent in the house. You can use it to catch a Pokemon of your own."

    The black-haired boy handed Rob a Net Ball, in a special clear plastic gift box with Water Pokemon designs on it, his Buizel giving its chuckling cry. However, before Rob could open it to admire its blue, round beauty, his father appeared out of nowhere and snatched it away.

    "No Rob, no Pokeballs. We've said it before. No Pokemon before you're ten. It's too much responsibility for you, even if you just turned seven." Fil chided. "We can put it on display in the living room until then, but you cannot have it."

    "Dad…" Rob moaned, disappointed that he lost the chance at catching his own Mantyke.

    "I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait." Fil said, brushing back his hair out of habit. Exhaling heavily, thinking of a way to get off this topic, he suggested, "Why don't I send out Terra, you know, that Dugtrio of mine you all seem to love, and Sidus, my Pachirisu, to play with? I'm sure Song and Yikes would love to see them, too."

    "Yes, Mr. Qintus." Chris mumbled, a little disappointed too that Rob couldn't enjoy his present.

    "Yes, Dad."

    "Good. Now wait here while I find my PokeBelt. I think I left it on the stairs, but you never know. It could have actually gotten up and walked away…" Rob's father finished, going to find his ever-evasive Pokeballs. Maybe becoming an author automatically made you scatter-brained.
    #1 Secad MS, May 24, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2014
  2. oh Secad, this is cool!

    I really can't wait to see where this goes, it looks totally interesting!

    I love the idea of the Poke Balls being in little boxes. That made me smile ^^
  3. Psycho Monkey

    Psycho Monkey Member of the Literary Elite Four

    The nostalgia! It burns! :D

    You captured the mind set of younglings so perfectly it makes me feel thirteen years younger. I think I'm going to enjoy watching your kids of the Pokemon world develope.
  4. I really like this so far. Even though I find little kids annoying I still consider this a good story, and I can't wait to see where it takes off from here. :)

    Also, Rob made the wrong breakfast choice. The correct answer was Spinda pancakes. I don't even know what they are but they sound amazing.
  5. Woot! Next chappie. Here it is. Tell me what you guys think.

    Chapter Two: The Beginning​

    "How was the party, Rob-o?" His mother asked, first thing as she walked through the front door, before being assaulted by hugs from her son. Gera let out an "Ooof."

    "It was great! I'm so glad you're home!" Rob said happily, as he squeezed his mother as hard as he could, which wasn't bad for a seven-year-old. "We had so much fun! Mom-Mom-Mom-Mom-Mom, guess what I got?"

    "What?" Gera wheezed acting half-excited, prying off her kid with the edge of her briefcase.

    "I got a Crasher Wake figurine, with Floatzel!" Rob said excitedly, beginning to get riled up. "And we also played tag with Terra, and-"

    "Which means I'm going to have to fill up all those holes in the front yard." His father appeared, and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. "That Dugtrio is quite good at making them."

    "That's good to know." She responded, laughing. "Did you fix dinner?"

    "Yep, Dad did! We're having California rolls, Razz Berries with real whipped cream, and some sort of bread rolls that sound like money." Rob interrupted, listing the rather mismatched menu of his favorites, all of which he chose for his birthday dinner. "Oh, and salad. Daddy insisted."

    "That bread would be pumpernickel." Filbert replied. "You know, the rather dark bread that's strong tasting?"

    "Oh." Rob said, thinking. "I was close, though."

    "California rolls?" Rob's mother asked as she warily walked into the kitchen. "Since when did you learn how to make those?"

    "I didn't." Filbert said, laughing. "I wouldn't even try. We bought those after everyone left."

    "But I made the whipped cream! I had fun with the hand blender." Rob called, laughing, as he followed his parents.

    "Yes, you sure did. He made splatters six inches around the bowl. Next time, don't crank the handle that fast." His father said, pointing out the messy counter covered in white, semi-foamy liquid and other debris. "Why don't you go take your bath? I'll clean up, and then we'll have dinner."


    "This is good cream, Robby." Filbert complimented the foamy mixture of Razz Berries and uber-whipped cream in the spoon he held in front of his face, and then ate. "Nice and extremely fluffy."

    "Thank you. What do you think, Mom?" Rob asked eagerly, almost jumping up and down in his seat at the oak table, wanting to know what others thought of his dish.

    "It's fine." Gera said, not so enthusiastically. She was never fond of whipped cream or topping in general. "So…what else did you get? You already got a pair of Crasher Wake pajamas from Grandma in the mail," she asked, referencing the pair Rob was wearing "and the figurines, candy and plushies from your friends. Anything you forgot to mention?"

    "Uh…" Rob said thinking. However, when he glanced over to the top of the bookshelf in the living room where Fil set his Net Ball, he got angry. So in order to get his little revenge on his father (and hopefully get his Net Ball back from the confines of that bookshelf) he finished, sounding sad, "I got a Net Ball, but Daddy took it away."

    "One of your friends gave you a PokeBall?" Gera asked, curiously.


    "Did you ask that person to give you one?"

    "No." Rob replied truthfully.

    "Do you know our rule of ‘No PokeBalls or Pokemon until you're ten?"

    "Yes." He sadly said.

    "Then your father was right in taking it away. You got it as a true gift so it can be kept, but you're not old enough to handle the responsibility." His mother finished.

    "He will get to see it on the top of the bookshelf everyday, dear. I put it there to stay." Filbert interjected while scraping from his bowl the last of the fluffy cream goodness.

    "See?" Gera said kindly to Rob. "We're not taking it away forever. You'll get it back in three years."

    "But three years is a long, long, long time! You'll be dead by then!" Rob cried, too riled up to realize he was exaggerating.

    "You take us to be that old?" Fil said, chuckling. "That's kind of funny."

    "Fil." Gera said, a little annoyed.

    "Okay, sorry! You're only thirty-five. That's not old. That's why it was funny." Filbert said, smiling, his hands up in a defensive posture.

    Gera's face immediately fell into her outstretched hand, trying to hold back chuckles.

    "Rob, why don't you put your dishes into the sink and feed Yikes? I think she's asleep in the cupboard by the food container." Gera told Rob. "Then go read or play with cars or something until eight-thirty. Then it's bedtime."

    "Yes, Mom." Rob replied, scooting out his chair from the table, still pouting over his Net Ball.


    "Goodnight, Robby." Gera and Fil said at the same time, tucking in still-pouting son. "Happy birthday."

    "'Night, Mom, Dad." Rob said, turning over to avoid his parents' faces and kisses.

    His parents left the room, to go to their bedroom for some time alone, still unsure of why he had been pouting that long. However, they resolved that it would all be fine the next morning. They were so wrong.

    As soon as his parents left the room and their footsteps were far enough away, Rob sprang into action. He grabbed his blue backpack, dumped out all of the school supplies, and filled it up with two changes of clothes, some birthday candy, some birthday money, and the bottle of water on the table next to his bed left there if he got thirsty in the middle of the night. He changed out of his Crasher Wake pajamas to the Crasher Wake t-shirt and shorts he was wearing earlier, with the addition of his lucky blue socks. Rob then snuck quietly out of his room into the hall, making sure not to make the floor creak as he walked downstairs. As soon as he was in the hallway downstairs, he tip-toed into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich to take along, in case he wanted a meal.

    Rob, however, still wasn't going to tackle the main plan yet. He was going to wait until it was darker, as during the summer, it was still light at eight-forty-five. He stuffed the sandwich into an outside pocket of his bag and snuck back upstairs to his room to wait, but only after grabbing a map of Sinnoh to guide him on his journey, of course.


    "Yes!" Rob whispered to himself, as his glow-in-the-dark Crasher Wake alarm clock finally read ten-thirty. This was the latest he had ever stayed up before, even on New Years Eve. His eyes were quite heavy and dry as he forced them to stay open, but he managed to keep awake as he crept downstairs for the last time to the living room, to get back his Net Ball.

    But how would he get it without making too much noise?

    Climbing on the bookshelves wouldn't be smart, as he could break a shelf or tip it over.

    Standing on a chair dragged from the kitchen would be too noisy.

    Reaching from the sofa next to it…Perfect!

    Rob set down his pack on the floor and went to stand on the flowered cushion of their old sofa. However, he still couldn't reach it! Rob stepped on the arm of the couch, but it was hard for him to balance long enough to grab it without falling and hurting himself or waking his parents. Maybe he should climb on the sofa back next. He was sure he could do it.

    Stretching his leg out as far up as it could go, Rob got the ball of his left foot on the top of the back cushion. He then grabbed the arm to steady himself as the pulled his right leg in front of the left. Slowly, he straightened up, and started to edge himself to the bookshelf, holding himself steady against the wall. He only had a few more inches to inch himself across, but he did so slowly, not making any noise.

    After what seemed like tens of minutes (more like three) of slowly moving across the top of the couch, he could reach the Net Ball, still in all its gift-boxed glory.

    "Yessssss…" Rob hissed happily.

    Now he just had to grab it.

    Leaning forward on one foot, he stretched out and extended one arm, the other on the wall for balance. He hopped forward a little, and snatched it off the top of the shelf.

    Now he had to get off without making noise. Normally, he would have just jumped to get off, but he couldn't make a sound. Instead, he crouched down and slowly slid off the top onto the cushions to the floor. That only made a rustling sound he hoped his parents wouldn't hear. Since there were no footsteps coming downstairs, Rob was safe.

    The auburn-haired boy then walked across the wall to the door, and unlocked it so he could walk outside to go to Sunyshore. However, before Rob opened the door, he opened up the clear gift box to gingerly stroke his prize with one finger. He could almost feel the excitement and power going up it from the Net Ball. After that, he unzipped his bag and put it in an empty pocket he reserved just for it.


    "Okay, now where do I go?" Rob asked himself as he took out the map at the end of his block. Ugh, it got a little mustard on it, but it would be fine as soon as he licked it off, which he did. He smudged the area below Solaceon, but thought nothing of it. "Where's my street?" He asked it. "I just see little red squares telling me where the cities are."

    Frustrated, he crammed it back into his bag and set out on his own, in the dark, with the Kriketot chirping almost scarily. Rob was getting a little frightened being out all alone going through the roads out of town, but he wanted to catch a Mantyke. He had to.

    After what seemed to be many hours, he was out of official marked path, buildings, and homes, looking at what seemed to be endless footpath. Rob pushed himself on, even when that path led to a rather thick, slightly glowing, menacing grove of trees, in which he forced himself into.

    "Think of the Mantyke, think of the Mantyke, think of…" He chanted to himself. "Think of t-Augh!"

    Rob cried out as he bumped into an Abra, which Teleported him into a tree, earning him a nasty bruise and cut above his eye.

    "Owww…" he moaned, wiping off the blood that was dripping into his eye, starting to cry.

    However, he bumped into another Abra, which Teleported him into a rock, cutting his knee. Then he bumped into another Abra, and another, and another, Teleporting him all over that thick grove, until he was in the center of a massive group of Abra, crying and bleeding from various cuts.

    "Stop! Stop! Please, stop!" Rob cried, scaring the Abra.

    "Abra!" All the Abra cried at once, glowing.

    "No! I didn't mean to hurt you! Please!" Rob said, curling up.


    "Please don't hurt me!" Rob cried, not remembering anything about Pokemon attacks from school.

    However, the group of angry Abra collectively glowed, preparing to do something.

    "No! Don't! Please don-" He started to cry, until the glow covered him and the entire group of Abra, sending them off somewhere, somewhere far, far away…
    #5 Secad MS, Jun 1, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2014
  6. Those Abra are reeeeeally mean! I never thought such a sleepy, innocent thing could do such an act :(

    Asides that, great read so far :) A slight hiccup with your BBCode, though.

    "But three years is a long, long, [i]long[/I] time!
    And then everything else was italicized :p Add the I in there, where shown, and it'll be fine. (Just about above the smiley)
    #6 Stark, Jun 1, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2014
  7. Do you know how much I love this? 'Cause I really do. Like, alot. It's adorable. Keep writing ^^
  8. This is an awesome story.I can't beleive Abra would do that thats so mean >:(
  9. Hello, fans! I am sorry for the long delay between chapters. Life has been getting busy, and I was working on my next two main characters. Constructive criticism is welcome, as it will help me write better.

    Chapter Three: The Discovery​

    "Aaaaaaaand welcome to the ‘Let's Watch Embry Get His Butt Kicked Show,' everyone!" A proud Dana said , her hands on her hips like a circus ringmaster. "Now, first up is-"

    "No, no, no, and more no." her twin brother Embry responded, shaking his head. "Stop rubbing in your win streak. I mean, just because you've beaten me the last five times does not give you permission to act like a total braggart. Let's battle correctly now, shall we?"

    "Certainly, Mr. Prissy." Dana said, patting back her neon-red streaked Afro properly behind its leather headband.

    Dana and Embry were fifteen-year-old Trainer twins battling at a public park battleground in Jubilife City. Dana could be considered the dominant twin of the two, somehow often making Embry follow her way, even though she was seven minutes younger. Embry didn't mind following at all, as it allowed him to concentrate more on the Grand Festival than planning travel routes and such. However, they weren't always the sort of twins who did everything the same, even though they looked a lot alike. Dana loved her Veilstone Veonats (It also helps that both of the Prion twins were from there), while Embry didn't give a crud about sports. Embry loved Contests and participated regularly in them, coming up with new routines, while Dana just considered it a hobby that few sane people could really get into. However, it was a quiet evening, so they decided to spend it doing something they both enjoyed other than just wandering the city.

    A sudden competitive tension grew around the area. It was a showdown to see who would throw their PokeBall and release their Pokemon first. Of course, always one to take advantage, Dana grinned, lighting up her brown-dotted green eyes and flushing her chocolate-toned cheeks, unhooked and threw a plain PokeBall from her checkered PokeBelt. It erupted into dramatic blue flames from the Capsule, making it appear that her fierce Staraptor rose from the flames like Moltres.

    "Tseeeeeeeeeeeeeer!" called Nius, the Staraptor, as he circled his half of the field.

    "Mmmm, playing type advantage again, are we?" Embry called slyly, tossing a shrunked PokeBall slowly in his palm, a knowing look in his eye. "I have a feeling Yucca and I will have fun tonight."

    Embry tossed his Torterra's PokeBall, and an unusually yellow-green Pokemon popped out in a mass of black flower petals. Yucca had been deprived of sunlight when she was a Turtwig at the starter farms, and that color had stayed even after her evolutions. The large, tree-mountain-backed skidded onto her half of the battleground, kicking up much old debris from the cement and dirt floor, looking determined.

    "Shall I kick your rear now, dear brother?" Dana asked, mock politely.

    "Certainly," Embry responded, just as politely, straightening his blue button-up shirt so he could bow more mockingly. "Ladies first."

    "Ever the chivalrous pig, are you? That is such a sexist saying." Pausing only a second, she strongly commanded, "Nius, Aerial Ace."

    The Staraptor nodded sharply, and began to ascend, but Embry said just as quickly, "Stone Edge! Just as we've practiced!"

    The heat was on, though for some odd reason, time seemed to slow. Nius was now descending below the shadowed trees in the park, and Yucca was summoning shards of stone and cement to use at a speed slower than the Staraptor's descent. It looked like the Torterra was going to be defeated with one move, but then a ball of glowing, yellow-white light emerged between the two Pokemon, one that illuminated the entire area, a light containing…

    "NO!" Embry cried out, hearing a child's cry in the center of it, who was about to be attacked by both Pokemon. "STOP!"

    However, both the Pokemon couldn't stop the full blow of their attacks, as the Staraptor clawed the auburn-haired boy's side and was subjected to gravel bouncing off various open wounds. He was falling quickly, and-

    "Yucca! Get him! He's right above you!" Dana called, her red flannel shirt blowing open as she ran towards the center of battlefield, showing a band t-shirt underneath.

    Thankfully, the little boy wasn't impaled on the Torteraa's spiky ‘mountains,' his fall broken by her soft tree leaves onto her grassy back.

    "****!" She yelled, shocked at seeing a little boy falling out of the sky, and his state of being a bloody mess, covered in blood and torn clothing. "Em! Em! Em! Get your pack! This kid's-"

    Dana was cut off by the boy's whimpering, escalating to wailing. "Don't hurt me…" he cried softly, until wiping his eyes and seeing that he wasn't. "Where am I?!" He cried loudly, as he fell off the Torterra's back in shock, brown eyes wide, crying more when the Staraptor that hurt him landed and stared him in the face. "I wanna go home!"

    By that time, Embry was there, dashing over with his dark tan, extra-large, heavy-duty backpack. "Hey, hey, kid, we're not going to hurt you, shhh…" He said softly, trying his best to comfort him with a one-armed hug while groping in his bag for something to wipe up or stop the bleeding. "I'm Embry, and this is Dana, my sister. Who are you?"

    "Rob." He said, sobbing. "Where am I?"


    "No!" He cried louder, sobbing more. "That's nowhere near where the Mantykes are!"

    Dana, meanwhile, was standing by, slightly shocked and made rather apathetic by this little crisis. Mantykes? What is up with this kid? He falls out of the sky and talks about Mantykes? She thought, with the tone someone used when calling something someone said crazy.

    "Dana, talk to him while I clean him up. We've got to stop the bleeding at least, and he's squirming and crying." Embry asked, irritated both by her unhelpfulness and the crying preventing him from getting a temporary stop to the blood. Geez, he was going to have to buy some stain remover to get all of the blood splotches out of his khaki jeans and off his navy sneakers.

    "Er…okay." Dana agreed, a little hesitant, crouching down to his level. "Where ya from, ki- I mean Rob?"

    "Solaceon Town." Rob replied, squirming a tad less. "You?"

    "Veilstone. It's a big city. I'm quite fond of it."

    "Wow, that's cool! Do you have a Lucario like the Gym Leader there?" Rob asked.

    "No, sorry, kid. My bro does have a Riolu, though." Dana said, chuckling. "Now an important question. Who are your parents? I don't think they know you're on the other side of the mountains."

    "Mr. an' Mrs. Qintus."

    "That's good you still know your last name. Now what are their first names?" Dana asked, getting a little more irritated.

    "I'm not supposed to use them. It's not respectful." Rob said in the tone of recitation that little children use when repeating rules.

    "Dude, you're lost. I think they'll make an exception." Embry chimed, brushing back his close-cropped brown hair, staining it slightly with blood. "I think you'll be patched up and ready to ship in a minute or two."

    Rob giggled. That made him think he was a cargo plane, or something like that, one with red-brown hair and his face on it. "Okay, they're Filbert and Geraldine."

    "Wait…the Fil Qintus, like the author?" Embry said, astounded.


    "Oh, that's good." Dana said, getting ideas. "That means if we return you, we could get some press attention or money or something."

    "Eh…I don't think so, Dan. Don't go leeching off others." Embry said. Patting Rob on his back gently, he said, picking him up and summoning his Torterra in her PokeBall. "Let's go see if we can get some more help. Yucca, return."


    "Okay, thank you Officer Jenny. Do you mind if we contact his parents personally?" Dana asked.

    "Sure, go ahead. It's been a slow night anyway. The line's probably not busy." The green-haired officer replied, affectionately petting the top of her Arcanine's head, while reclining slightly in her office chair.

    At the police station, Rob was cleaned up and given a new pair of shorts and a new white t-shirt (Rob refused to have the Crasher Wake t-shirt disposed of for some reason, so they washed it and put it in a baggie) to replace the clothes that were ruined. Luckily, his only injuries were some cuts that only required a stitch or two, many scrapes, and a broken left index finger put in a splint.

    "Come on, guys." Dana said, motioning to Embry (who was carrying Rob) to follow her into the room a few doors down. They entered into the main waiting area, furnished blandly with grey indoor/outdoor carpet, grey-fabric padded fold-up seats, and a mottled grey receptionist's counter. Dana picked up the (of course) grey phone just behind the counter and handed it to Rob to dial.

    "What's your number, Rob?" Dana asked. "Dial it."

    Rob took the phone from her and punched in his number. "Here," he said, handing back to Dana. "You talk."

    Dana waited impatiently for someone to pick up, leaning up against the wall with a bored expression on her face, listening to the dial tone.

    "Hello?" said a thick, mucus-ridden male voice on the other end of the phone.

    "Hi, Mr. Qintus. This is Dana Prion. I'm one of the ones who found your child, Rob."

    "You did?" Fil said, happily surprised, "Bring him back soon. Or do you want us to retrieve him?"

    "No, no, we can bring him back. Hopefully soon, if I can fit him on the back of my Staraptor." Dana joked, trying to lighten the mood.

    In the background, Rob called, "No! No! I don't like that Staraptor, he tried to kill me!" This was followed by a loud shushing from Embry.

    "Okay. Please treat him well, and go easy on him. He's not used to life on the road. Even I wasn't a huge fan of it while I was training." Fil responded, not hearing that comment on the other line. "Thank you."

    "You're welcome, sir. By the way, my brother enjoyed your book Tales of the Insane. He said it was a great insight into the minds of those who have gone crazy." Dana said, with a little prompting from her brother consisting of mouthed words and thumbs up.

    "Oh, thank you. Being a parent certainly helps with that. You know, after this, you guys should both get signed copies." His grin could be heard over the phone. He loved interacting with fans. "Bye."

    "Good-bye." Dana replied, handing up the phone, ready to confront the newest issue.

    "Okay, kiddo, if we can't take you home by air, how are we going to take you home? My Fearow…well, she…uh…ran away." Embry said, noting his lack of a bird Pokemon while trying to skirt around a bigger issue.

    "I don't know."

    "Rob, we've got to get you home somehow." Dana said, getting exasperated.

    "We could walk."

    "Excellent idea. But that'd take at least two weeks to walk there, and that involves a trek through the Coronet Mountains, too." Dana said, hitching up her camouflage backpack to emphasize.

    "Do you think we could get me a Mantyke on the way?" Rob asked, still eager, reaching behind and pulling out the clear-boxed Net Ball from his slightly bloodstained backpack's pocket. Amazingly, everything in there was undamaged except for a squashed sandwich staining a map beyond repair.

    "Rob, that's not a good idea. That would take even more time. Don't you want to be home as soon as possible?" Embry said, trying to be reassuring.

    "NO! I want a Mantyke NOW!" Rob screamed, the late time getting to him, pounding on Embry's shoulders. This caused Embry to drop him off him onto the floor (thankfully no injuries from that) and let him have a temper tantrum.

    "Why do you think I left home?! I wanted a Mantyke, but Mommy and Daddy wouldn't let me catch one! I want one to train, and to play with, and to-"

    Dana suddenly slapped him across the face, getting sick of his yelling, screaming, and flailing. "Shut. Up." She said slowly and dangerously, an angry expression on her face. "Enough of that. We'll help you catch a Mantyke. You just have to be able to keep up with us. I don't think that'll happen, though, as the road isn't like the television shows make it seem. Are you sure you want to join us?"

    "Yes." Rob said stiffly, as adult-like as he could manage in that state.

    "Okay, kid. Come with us. We're going to the PokeCenter tonight. How old are you?" Dana asked.


    "That means we pay ten dollars a night for you. It's only free for Trainers." Embry said, giving him a little tip.

    Rob nodded, and stood up. "Let's go. I'm tired."

    "Yep, we should hit the sack. You've had a busy night." Embry reiterated, walking out of the police station. "Follow us."
    #9 Secad MS, Oct 16, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2014
  10. Your story is nicely written, but I feel that Rob's parents are a little too comfortable to let him stay with people they don't know, as is Officer Jenny.

    Dana slapping a young boy across the face also seems a little wrong - for a start, wouldn't Embry chastise her or Rob be in tears hence on? It all seems very 'nice' and 'convinient', but that may be simply because I'm a bitter old hag :p

    For a boy just thrust from his home by some little Abras, Rob becomes very demanding, doesn't he? Well, at least he's sure of what he wants.
  11. Heh, the whole slapping thing was based off old movies in which hysterical people are brought back to calmness after being slapped. I guess shock+shock=stop, like negative+negative=positive.

    Embry was getting a little sick of the crying as well, so he didn't say a word.

    Let me say that Mr. Qintus is a little...inconsistent, for lack of a better word. For example, in the story, he took away Rob's Net Ball, but in the past, he's done stuff like let Rob make breakfast using the stove (alone, of course) when Gera wasn't home, thinking six wasn't bad age to have the kid learn to cook. (as a funny note, everything was underdone, anyway) His wife is stricter, though, and more consistent.

    The Officer Jenny I chose was the type that liked to slack off and just take advantage of her job perks, like the Arcanine. Escorting the kid home would have been too much work, and as said, it was a slow night, so there weren't many people there.

    In short, I also needed to get the plot moving. :p

    By the way, he's going to get a few shocks in the future, as he's used to middle-class suburban life. Not to mention that in my universe, the PokeCenters don't have bathtubs. XD
  12. Psycho Monkey

    Psycho Monkey Member of the Literary Elite Four

    I'm glad to see the plot moving and all, but Rob's attitude seemed a bit too grown up to me. I would think after a traumatic experience like that, he'd be crying because he wanted to go home not because he wasn't getting his way.

    Aside from that little tidbit, this story is shaping up quite nicely and I can't wait to see what more trouble Rob and his new bodyguards will inevitably get into.
  13. That's awesome! You could have a big career as an author! Could you let me know when you've wrote the next chapter? Thanks ;D
  14. I really like this story! The idea of using a seven-year-old is quite ingenious. Though I must agree with what Tatile and Psycho have already said, about Rob being a bit too grown up and all that, but that is acceptable :). Keep going!

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