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A Lady's Adventures~

Discussion in 'Creative Archive' started by Korora, Aug 24, 2010.

  1. Pocket Monsters. Or known and called as Pokèmon. That is the kind of creatures, old and young, that have changed our world. A new question arises instantly. For the better? Or for the worse? Based on the view of a person's heart and the feelings and memories that have wrapped around it, our answers change.

    Some of us prefer using pokèmon as tools, giving no credit, appreciation or care, even abandoning them in the face of danger and leaving them to starve. Pokèmon Trainers, in general, are a title given for those who care about them, and treat them as companion and friend...
    And if there is danger? Well, if a challenge arises, they face it. Together. Rather than being so cowardice, they fight. And fight again. As long as this bond of trust remains, they will fight until they prevail. That is the meaning and origin of what we call "Pokèmon Battles"

    As said by the Elite Four/Pokèmon League: "As soon as you turn around, there it is. Your constant companion in life's journey. Your
    Pokèmon is always there to help."

    This shows Lady Onyx's adventures with her starter, Piplup. I hope you enjoy it.~ -Korora

    A dawning of a new day. Or should I say night? That's right. Lady Onyx, named for her Raven-Black hair, swept in a graceful motion. Everyone turned to look at the dress her parents have chosen for her- A silky pink, as it matched well with her graceful legs, holding Piplup in her arms. It looked up in bewilderment at its trainer's face, her bangs, headband, and the most curious of all, her dark, misty eyes, simply stared at everyone, no emotion emanating from her. Her aura given was more or less of a corpse... And there stood her blond-haired childhood freind -Topaz, with his Chimchar. He stared at her with suspiciousness and awe, a rather unsightly look- seeing that they were engaged. He always remembered the good times- she was even rather sunny and girly, and would always stand up for him... but now, it was different. She may have gotten the best grades in the trainer school, but she was very unsociable, and her misty eyes shook them to the very core. for that reason, she was nicknamed "Mist".

    "I thought you would come to see me, Mist." He smiled but it had no reaction to her face.

    "As would I." replied Onyx. "You can spend the party without me, I don't mind."

    "Why would I leave you alone?" Topaz continued, "You're my fiancée."

    "You also call me by that drab name..." said Onyx. "If you don't want the students to make fun of you, stay well away from me."
    "It's for your own good, Topaz."

    "FOR MY OWN GOOD?!" he shouted in dismay. "I have always loved you for who you are, and now you throw yourself into solitude...
    "That's more frightening than darkness itself! You don't even let that Piplup in your heart! And a Trainer is supposed to care deeply about their own Pokèmon, and look at you! You're just a Heartless Machine!

    Onyx stepped back. "That...is how you think of me?" she continued saying: "From the depths of your own heart?"

    Chimchar pulled Topaz's hair and Glared at him. He looked toward Onyx and Piplup with a sad look and nodded. Topaz and Chimchar were as close as brothers, and could tell whether he was lying or not. Piplup jmped to the Ground, saying in a Pokèmon's Language:

    "My Trainer has had some dark events and mishaps, living in this environment. I supposed that her being a Lady, she would get all the happiness she needs. But now I see that is utterly wrong... I was a fool to count on that. It's how her eyes turned that Misty color."

    Chimchar was in bewilderment and replied with nothing other than: "I see."

    She returned to her room. Little did she know, Destiny and none other had made an appointment with her this very night.
    She pulled the curtain, revealing the chills of Snowpoint City. A tear ran through her face. Pictures flashes through her head, her childhood
    with Topaz, happy and sunny. they would hide in the woods near Lake Acuity and play hide-and-seek. Then- came the death of her parents.
    It was an utter shock to her. Her auntie was always kind, but her Uncle was a total stranger... Those dark events chipped her away to eventually live in the Abyss of her heart, mourning and grieving. Destiny had its plan- like it always does, and had its magical wind flip through her book to reveal itself as a map of Sinnoh, and how many trainers have traversed it in the years, seeing magical sights that can only be influenced by the
    experience of the travel itself. She then decided with her mind and her heart- and said it to her Piplup- " I'm going to run away from home and travel
    distant lands, Sinnoh at the very least. Her Piplup nodded- but wanted to atleast say goodbye. So, Onyx packed money, travel clothes, and food.
    She went to the ballroom and said:

    "Good-bye, Topaz, I hope we see each other again." She smiled, and a tear ran through her face. She ran to her auntie.

    Piplup said the same to Chimchar in its own language.

    She gave her letter. Her aunt looked in bewilderment while she hugged her. Onyx disappeared, saying not to open the letter till the end of the party. Slowly, yet carefully; she ran away from home.
     
    #1 Korora, Aug 24, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2013
  2. The following is not meant to be insulting, it is merely supposed to be a guide and an aide to the original author and to any who come after.

    By 'through' I assume you'd actually mean 'across' or some variation thereof, because otherwise she must have a very porous face. Unless of course (as Xanthier has just pointed out to me) you 'tear' as in 'rip' which only strikes me as very odd given that there is no indiciation of where she could sustain physical harm.

    Your tense needs a little work as you nigh-constantly seem to switch between past and present. I would suggest sticking with past tense (as in, did; walked; flew etc.) as it is much easier to read and write.

    Your expositionary paragraph (A dawning of a new day.) leaves a little to be desired. Yes you explain your character's physical appearance and very briefly their history but, even including the rest of the chapter, I find little in the way that is engaging about the characters.

    For emtional emphasis, capitalization is pretty much all you need - the bolding you used is somewhat superfluous and not a little bit distracting. The same of course applies to the italics. We already read that your characters are straining in the dialogue, anymore which you want to put in can be applied in the aft-sentences, like you did with "He shouted in agony." Do not be afraid of wrapping your dialogue (albeit only of a single person) in a paragraph of description and explanation - so long as you do not begin another's speech in that same paragraph it does not make the actionany harder to follow (usually).

    That being said your action is hard enough to follow as it is. From the first I had assumed the scene took place outside, but then Lady Onyx quickly moved to her room, and then to the ballroom, with no real indication of having travelled.

    Another point, you seem to almost capitalize at random where it is unnecessary (Slowly and Carefully- She ran away from home. - on the you can drop the capital 'c' and 's', a hyphen is not a full stop, merely a cousin of the semi-colon) and forget it where it is: at the beginning of a new sentance: 'for that reason, she was nicknamed "Kasumi" (Mist).'

    I shan't go any further, I could be here all day.
     
  3. Tatile: Yes, I know I threw in wrong grammar. :-[ (To your friend, it is mental harm, actually.) But the plot and the engaging-ness of the characters are part of my form of writing.
    You see, I like starting small. Having readers trying to get familiar with characters that have a background we probably will never know about,
    and keeping it a mystery, but will be revealed, bit by bit, is what creates suspense. and what gets readers to ask more questions.
    They will get their answers at the end, and all will be answered. ;) (I tested this with some friends.)

    A Lady's Adventures #2

    Waiting at Onyx's destination, the Snowpoint Cross Train Station, was Topaz. They said nothing, until she passed across him as in gliding motion.

    "Giving up already?" Topaz said in a voice, barely audible.

    Onyx didn't want to face him there, of all places and times... she just stood there.

    "I never thought you would do something so foolish." Topaz said, continuing on. He ruffled up his silky blonde hair, pulled down the sleeves of his tuxedo, and shouted, "We're going to have a Pokemon battle!" "If I win, you stay, and if you win, you can go!"

    "But why?" Onyx merely replied, at a loss for words.

    "You're asking me why?", he replied, askew. "Your auntie is worried about you." "There is going to be a bounty on your head if I don't stop you here."

    "...Fine by me." "Piplup, I regret this, but we must battle!"

    "Chimchar. You don't want to see them leave, do you?" Chimchar shook his head. He jumped into battle with determined eyes...

    "Piplup, use Mist!"

    They were instantly shrouded by a sheer amount of icy mist. Unable to see their surroundings, Topaz and Chimchar were at a disadvantage.
    Topaz, however, had his own plan...

    "Chimchar, Flame Wheel!"

    The Mist cleared from their half of the battlefield. if they attacked, Topaz could spot the opening. However, Piplup drew closer, but made sure not to stay out of the Mist.

    "Use Mud-Slap!"

    The terrain being icy snow, Piplup had shot snow straight at Chimchar's eyes, temporarily blinding him.

    "Use Ember!" shouted Topaz.

    "Dig, now!" Onyx shouted to Piplup, well aware of his movements.

    "Jump and Use Fire Blast!"

    Onyx seized her opportunity. "Bubblebeam!"

    The 2 freinds, neck and neck fought hard. For their Pride. For their dignity. And for their trainers.

    "Piplup, Whirlpool!" The blast throughly hit Chimchar. He fell to the ground, staggering. He soon fainted, regretting that he had lost, among Topaz's
    wishes...And to see Piplup and Onyx leave... That was probably unbearable for him...

    Topaz fell to the ground in dismay. "Chimchar!" "Fine, Onyx... Have your way..." "But be warned..."

    Onyx quickly ran, as fast as she could to catch her train. She jumped on the train that led to Jubilife. In her own car of the Bullet Train, she changed to a more casual yet uncomfortable outfit, consisting of Black Jeans, a white top, and a black jacket in order to protect from the cold. Onyx decided to look as much as casual as she can; in order to be unnoticed by the rest of her family. Surely enough, as hotheaded as Topaz was, he always fought to protect the people he cared about. He might throw in sarcasm at times, but deep down inside, he was always caring- even if he pretended to be a person he was not. She took a book and started to read "The sights of Sinnoh." Based on whatever knowledge the book gave her, she could navigate. She understood that she could disguise as competition for the Sinnoh League. It of course, would be hard, but they
    would never expect her to do this. She thought over and over- she didn't have to win the Sinnoh League. Maybe she would even learn something about herself on the way...something that Trainers all so far have. She would do anything to get out of that environment; that way of living mentally hurt her to the very core. It took six hours; even for something as fast as the Bullet Train.

    "We have arrived at Jubilife City!" "Next stop: Eterna City!"

    Onyx got off. She wandered around the city of Technology- it definitely was the sight to see. Some people were on the biggest TV in Jubilife
    sometimes ads, and something called a Poketch, that she'd never heard about. Her eyes transfixed on the TV, she turned around and saw a
    strange man, seeming to be undercover... she ignored him and went to the Trainers' School. They were having a test... she was invited to participate. If she got full marks, she would get a TM. The test was as goes:
    #1 What happens when a Pokemon gets burned?
    In the blanks, she filled: The Attack stat is reduced, and the Pokemon loses HP every turn. Occured from a side affect of most Fire-type moves, but instantly affected with Will-o-wisp. Pokemon with the ability "Water Veil" can't be burned.
    #2 Do Pokemon moves have types? [glow=red,2,300]Yes[/glow] No.
    There are super-effective types and not-very effective types as well.
    #3 Can a Pokemon hold an item?
    Yes. Different items have different effects, depending on the Pokemon using them. Trainers use their items to full potential.

    "Put your pencils down, and I will check the test."

    After a while, the teacher pointed at Onyx and said: "Onyx was your name? You got the full score! Congratulations, you get the TM13!"

    "Thank You." Onyx smiled and left, while the children clamored noisily.

    Hmm...Okay Piplup, let's do this. Machine Set! She Placed it on Piplup's forehead, causing her to have a new trick in the arsenal, Ice Beam.

    "Help!" "Somebody, help!"

    Onyx ran to the scene. she saw a pink-haired girl, around sixteen, being hassled by some Spacemen.
    Piplup used Ice Beam and froze them easily. She then pushed them out of the way, feeling proud.

    "You okay?" Onyx said, "They looked rough." She lended her a hand to get up. She hugged her and cried.

    Onyx continued. "Explain to me why they were hassling you."

    The girl sniffed. "My name's Amethyst. I'm a contest competitor. I'm 15 years old. The spacemen wanted to take my Teddiursa and Turtwig away from me! I can't tell how grateful I am to you... Ever since my parents died, I couldn't help myself..."
    v
    Onyx knew instantly that they shared a common experience. She allowed the girl to travel with her, and knew that this girl would become a
    a freind. They traveled to Oreburgh City, battling Trainers, and they stepped into the cave...
     
    #3 Korora, Aug 25, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2013
  4. Wha? I'm sorry, but your description is lacking at times. In addition, you didn't describe how long it would take to get from town to town, which would give us an idea of how large you think Sinnoh is. Not only that, but at times you are missing quotation marks.

    I see potential, though. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of writing.
     
  5. I agree with Secad. It needs some fine-tuning, but if it does get the T-L-C it needs, it's promising story may sneak into my favourites list!
     
  6. Secad & Luckii: Well, I try to plan out the plot first~(What is a T-L-C? :O?) But description was always my weak point, so all I can do is revise it. I might get time in order to correct the episodes' mistakes, but my mom nags me to heck. D;
    A Lady's Adventures #3

    Amethyst really didn't like the idea of going in a cave. "Why? Onyx? Whyyyyyyyyyyy!" "Sob.."
    She threw in puppy-eyes, but Onyx wasn't affected. She looked at the exit on the other side and had gripped Amethyst's hand tight. She could have ran for the exit any minute, but Onyx wasn't concerned. She brought out a large-scale map of the cave in the book and let Amethyst's hand go. She doesn't notice what happens in the outside world whenever she was reading a book. Even when Topaz threw a hot pot of water in her head, she didn't notice that he was even there, but that changed when she finished the book, noticed her wet clothes, and chased Topaz around the house.

    After she finished reading the map, she put it back in her book; "The sights of Sinnoh" and looked around for Amethyst. Sure enough, she made an appointment with trouble. Amethyst lost a battle with a Trainer and her Psyduck (Despite Turtwig's type advantage.) The trainer that she lost to stood up, and mocked Amethyst by ordering her to kiss her shoe because she had no money (it being stolen by the odd spacemen.) Onyx stepped on her foot with her very high heels. The Trainer cried in pain. She threw out 5000$ in Poke Dollars to the and the Trainer ran inside her tent, and her boyfriend showed up.

    He cracked his neck twice. They could see he was a proud Trainer. Amethyst stood back, shivering in fear. She knew that it was an elite class of Trainer- The Ace Trainers!

    "So, you made my girlfriend cry? He said in mockery, while pointing at Amethyst. "You must be weak..."

    Onyx stood up to him. "I made her cry, all right." "But I gave her more money, isn't that enough?"

    The Ace Trainer glared at her. "Well, I'll face you... Since you must be oh, so weak, and oh, I have one policy: nobody makes my girlfriend cry!

    Onyx only looked at how pathetic and weak he really was. "Tch, I'd like to see you try." She rolled her eyes. "Piplup!"

    As proud as ever, Piplup jumped into the battlefield.

    "Luxio! Take out the trash!" The Luxio appeared to be very menacing. Piplup wasn't so sure if she could defeat it...

    "Luxio, Thunder Fang!" it rushed forward at blinding speed. before it could attack from behind, Onyx shouted:

    "Behind you!" "Mud Slap!" Dirt was shot at it's face. It clearly appeared not to like it.

    "Charge!" The Luxio's Trainer said with a wicked smile.

    "Uh-oh!" "Finish it with Whirlpool!" Piplup threw a whirlpool consisted of all the water dripping from the stalactites in the cave...it eventually formed into one, big form of swirling water.

    The Ace Trainer's jaw dropped in surprise. "Spark!" he yelled, but to no avail. The Trainer, his tent and his girlfriend in it, were carried away to the exit of the cave. He ran back, shoved 20,000$ Poke Dollars in fear, and ran off.

    "That's more like it~" Onyx said, relieved. She pulled Amethyst's cheek in anger and went lower into the cave. Surprisingly, she noticed Topaz and his Monferno, fighting a wild Geodude!

    "Monferno, Mach Punch!" he ordered. He then caught sight of Amethyst, and Onyx's long hair. His eyes grew impeccably sharp and he ran over to Amethyst.
    Onyx ran off with her Piplup. She had to escape, no matter what the cost.

    "...What are you doing here, young lady?" Topaz asked.

    " Oh, me?" Amethyst replied, " I'm here to train with my friend, but she ran off."

    "That black-haired one?" Topaz inquired. "Her name?"

    "Onyx." Amethyst answered, and his eyes grew wide. He instantly ran to the upper level of the cave, his Monferno hurrying after.

    Onyx knew Topaz was as fast as he was hotheaded. "Piplup, Mist!, Onyx ordered, and shroud of mist instantly covered the upper levels of the cave.

    Amethyst ran to the other side of the cave leading to Oreburgh City, waiting for her to show up.
    However, Onyx ran to the other side of the cave, while climbing it from the front. It was seemingly much colder, as they were "higher" in the cave.
    Topaz didn't seem to notice. He stomped his foot and headed back to Jubilife City, a 2-hour trip. She came from the other side of the cave,
    and Amethyst was standing there, spaced out. She didn't notice that Onyx was back until her Piplup shot a BubbleBeam at it.

    "Yo, you still there?" she said, looming over her. "Earth to Amethyst?"
     
  7. Tender loving care, darl. I enjoyed that last chapter! Keep up the good work!

    (I understand your problem with describing, nowt to be ashamed of).
     
  8. Luckii: Thank you very much~ I am thinking about posting another fic. I threw in more description, detail, and quite a bit of drama.
    It is a spin-off of the boring novel from Carroll Lewis, no offense intended. That is why I am going to make it something more than boring. I'm going to make it awesome! To get what I mean, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5Dm2tdr65w
    Spin-off Title: (アリス.の.アデベナトレス) Alice's Adventures. (I probably didn't consider Japanese basics, since I have used one Hiragana character...)

    A Lady's Adventures #4

    Amethyst heard a vaguely familiar voice shout, "Amethyst, it's morning! Come take your breakfast!"

    Amethyst woke with a start. "Who, what, where, when, Onyx?" Turtwig stood near her and, happy to see her, nipped at her skirt.
    She was apparently trying to have her come downstairs. She followed suit, and found Onyx, trying to cook some sort of food.

    Onyx had a smile on her face and said, "Oh, you're up. When Piplup got too impatient, she shot a BubbleBeam at you. I reckon that's from being around Topaz's Monferno for so long. Anyway, we carried you to the Pokemon center, and a guy was nice enough to give his room for us,
    wasn't that sweet?"

    Amethyst found it hard to stomach this kind of thing. "What are you making?"

    "Oh, our breakfast." Amethyst was in shock. "That..." "THAT?!" "That's Pokemon Food!"

    "Oh." Onyx nearly dropped her jaw. "Why don't we eat out?"

    They went to a few restaurants around Oreburgh. Most were filled with sweating workers, which really did not approve to them because they grew up in a rather girly environment. They ended up finding one with good food, but they were always very sweet and calorie-filled.
    Onyx thought she was going to have Tooth-decay, and left for the bathroom, but Amethyst's Teddiursa ate up all her leftovers, with much greed and willpower for even more sweets, nearly destroying what you may know as a "Patisserie" or a Sweets Factory.

    "How did I survive that experience?" Onyx said, sighing. She noticed on the table Teddiursa had piled up a mountainous amount of sweets,
    at a more rapid speed than Turtwig or Amethyst could stomach. Amethyst sighed, "Peace out..." as she collapsed from eating amost a ton much of sweets, and Turtwig took a very long nap. It came front and back from the Sweets Factory to the Cafe, throwing all the chefs in cowering terror.
    that is why they would never let a Teddiursa in openly. They forgot to do so later on, since they generally live in the very tall mountains,
    but there have been outbreaks of Ursaring getting sweet food for their babies, and, being mothers, they must fulfill that duty.
    But generally, they would usually steal from wild Combee, and that is why Combee and Vespiquen have initialed rivalries, along with Mothim,
    the male evolution of Burmy. But even so, she decided it must be weakened in order to stop it, or she will have to pay a huge fine. If that
    gets out, she can pay the fine, but it will be troublesome. By being able to pay that much in one go, they will have to realize her status and her auntie and fiancee will have already learned of her location, and that she will participate in the Sinnoh League. So, she decided to stop it at all costs.

    "Piplup, BubbleBeam!"

    The Teddiursa did almost nothing until the attack was close to hitting, then rolled out of the way. It instantly countered with a ThunderPunch,
    which damaged Piplup greatly. Piplup used Mist for cover, and then threw a Mud Slap, which made it slip. It moaned in pain and Piplup finished it with Whirlpool. However, everything in the room was entirely wrecked. They were mad at her, and banned her out of the shop, and they demanded no money for the cost. Amethyst became pretty hyper from all that sugar when she regained consiousness, and ran to the Pokemon Center in no time flat.

    Two workers came out, having a long laugh. "Hahahahahah!"

    Amethyst stared at him peculiarly. "What'cha laughing about?"

    "Your li'l fiasco in the Combee Patissierie, of course. I told him about your wreck of the place, and he wanted to battle you."

    Onyx, wiping the dust from her pants merely replied, "Him?" "Could you mean your employer, Roark?"

    The first worker had a smile on his face. "Yep, that's him over there." "The one and only."

    Roark noticed the four of us. "Hey!" "Pierre, John!" "Is it them?"

    Pierre shouted back; "Yes, it's them!" "They're good, seeing they wiped the area out!"

    Roark came over to Onyx. "Nice to meet you!" "Would you like to battle tomorrow?"

    Onyx quickly replied, "How about today?" "Piplup!"

    Roark smiled. "Okay, fine." "Geodude! Get out and use Rock Smash!" The Geodude crept up behind Piplup as if it were made of it's own shadow.

    "Piplup, behind you!" Piplup dodged just in time and threw a BubbleBeam of it's own will. Geodude was defeated easily...

    "Onix!" "Come out and use Bind!" Onix squeezed Piplup, and tears came out of her eyes, struggling to move. Onyx had hit inspiration.

    "Piplup, Ice Beam on Onix's face!" The names of Onyx and the Pokemon Onyx were pretty similar, so Piplup froze Onyx's head. Amethyst's
    Teddiursa used Fire Funch, causing it to thaw out.
    "No, no, the Pokemon you're facing!" Piplup finally understood, and it froze. She finally used
    BubbleBeam in order to break the ice and make Onix faint. Piplup then was glowing. It was brighter then the sun in midday. Roark ducked, and I was nearly blinded. Piplup looked larger and more suave. It's fuzzy coat turned somewhat of a shade to navy blue, and It had...some kind of horns?
    Onyx wasn't able to tell what Pokemon it was, but she knew what took place. It was known as Evolution, or when Pokemon get bigger and stronger. Onyx always took advantage of any opportunity; and she wasn't going to pass this one up, either.

    "Cranidos!" He wasn't going to lose, not just yet.

    "Zen Headbutt!" he roared, and Cranidos dashed forward. But Onyx knew what to do.

    "Dodge!" the newly-evolved Pokemon cartwheeled out of the way. Cranidos couldn''t stop itself, and it crashed into the wall.
    Onyx noticed its flippers growing metallic. She knew what this move was, and it did well on Rock-types like Cranidos.

    "Finish it with Metal Claw!" she said. In four directions, Cranidos was slashed on it's back, and it fell, fainted.

    Roark cried and hugged John's foot, crying for Mommy. "Go, you Meanie!" He threw the Coal Badge, as sharp as a bullet, at Onyx's nose.

    Onyx wasn't mad, but she looked into Amethyst's eyes, and Amethyst understood that she clearly wanted to avoid this scene.
    So they ran to the nearby Pokemon Center, crawled in their beds, and had a good-night's rest.

    Note: I was rushed by Mommy Dearest. If there is anything missing, tell me and I will fix it.
    Edit: All fixed! Good luck on your new fic, Luckii! I'll be sure to read it! ;)
     
    #8 Korora, Aug 27, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2013
  9. Really need to fix that last part. The rest is solid, however.
     
  10. Note: Er-hem! Apologies for the inconvenience. My spacebar is giving me trouble, and I have had to go for a s---load of birthdays. (Nine, to be exact.) I have attempted about three times to post Ep5, 6, and 7, only to be caught by mommy dearest. Hope you'll forgive me. And I have decided not to make the spin-off, and the new story will be posted shortly. I have also been watching anime for inspirations, only to learn it is best not to steal. Thank you for reading.~

    Amethyst loomed over Onyx in her bed, like a flung rock. "Hey, Onyx!" "It's twelve-o-clock already!"

    "H-wha?" Onyx replied, disturbed. She jumped out of her bed, and noticing the drool on her face, wiped it by using a nearby tissue from the box.
    She took and held a giant bag, and nervously muttered, "I'm taking a shower and changing."

    About thirty minutes later, she came out, with a v-neck sunny yellow hoodie, blue slacks with wide front pockets, blue strap-on heels, plus wearing an azure blue wig. It had many curls and it was elbow length. Onyx pulled the hoodie's sleeves up, and took something out of her bag; color changing contacts. When she put them on, her original eye color of ashen gray turned to golden yellow. She threw another disguise to Amethyst.

    Amethyst whined, "Why do I have to put this on?"

    Onyx relied with, "Don't complain, since my parents are good bargainers, and sooner or later, if we don't make a move, we'll have the whole region of Sinnoh on our case." "plus,", she added, "this is just for protection measurements, and this is the only disguise you'll have to wear, unless we get snuffed out, you hear?"

    Amethyst whimpered and thought about her decision. The cruelty of her father, what she called her, a 'failure' echoed in her head. Her mother, her face so bright that Amethyst could only see; her warm smile. And when she thought her mother was always happy, she committed suicide.
    All these pictures rushing through her head...man, time flies..., she thought. She wasn't going to back down now.

    "I....Want to travel with you!" she declared, proudly. "Tell me what I must do."

    "Okay." Onyx smiled, continuing with, "Take this, and change."

    After 5 minutes, she came out with a crimson wig, for boys, matched with a raven black undershirt and crimson turtleneck wool vest. Charcoal jeans were included, as well as men's black dress shoes. Amethyst was surprised that she had to cross dress, but she admitted that it looked good on her. Onyx didn't want to hesitate,and rapidly went back on subject.

    "While you were in the shower, I gave the money and rental key to Teddiursa, who should've placed it on the counter by now. I tied a rope during that time as well, for you, on the balcony, which reaches to the ground. I won't need it of course, taking gymnastics class when I was young.
    "Now, here goes, you're going to be my twin brother Ruby, and I'm your twin sister Sapphire. We're going to escape unnoticed, sine my parents have got on my trail. And don't worry about the Dexes, cause I took yours and mine, confirmed to change name and.."

    Onyx snapped a picture of Amethyst, and recorded it to Professor Rowan on Onyx's PokeLap.

    "Uhhhghhh..." Amethyst felt odd. "What is that?"

    "Oh, this?" Onyx rolled her eyes. "This is a Pokemon Laptop, or known as PokeLap, and the newest version, too. A few functions are: contact others through the net, trade with its portable GTS system, and there are even sites for Pokemon Lessons, and Contests, too, with Pro's tips!"

    Amethyst gaped. That's amazing!, or unbelievable, she thought. Her Amethyst eyes grew beady, until Onyx's Piplup jumped out of it's Poke Ball, and Threw a Mud-Slap (In this case dust bunnies) at her face. Amethyst ran to the bathroom, washing her face, then immediately headed out to the balcony. Despite it being the second floor, Onyx jumped, while Amethyst looked reluctant. She then slided down when Turtwig pushed her,
    and Turtwig jumped down, looking like it had went on a water slide. It slashed through the rope with a Razor Leaf, and tried to take a bite out of Onyx's Wig.

    "Wig!" It shouted with glee. Amethyst smiled.

    "Guess I'll call you Wig now!" and she hugged him tight. They then ran in the dusty and rocky town, toward the Oreburgh Bus Station, and the duo jumped on the bus. They noticed a familiar face; Topaz! They had run out of luck, too, since the only two seats were next to him.
    Amethyst stuck between them to keep him from realizing Onyx's disguise. Topaz and Amethyst, known as 'Ruby' now, glared at each other.
    Onyx, as 'Sapphire' did not dare to take a glance.

    "Who are you?" Topaz inquired. Amethyst stuck a narrow eyed-glare, then replied with;

    "I knew some stuck up person, and he sure looks just like you." Ruby turned away and muttered, "People like you are just the same..."

    The loudspeaker lady rang with, "We have arrived at Veilstone City!" Ruby and Sapphire got up.

    "Next stop: Hearthome City!" seemed to ring in the distance to Topaz's ears....
     
    #10 Korora, Sep 11, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2013
  11. Yay for fixing ;D! Shorter chapter. Not much going on, so I can't really comment. Also, why are you saying good luck? I never mentioned me writing a fic! ???
     
    #11 Luckii, Sep 12, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2013

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