A bit of WW1 Poetry - 'The Path to Death'

[Toru]

I just thought I'd put this onto the forums to see what people think and to get some feedback, see here's the deal.

I was making a WW1 poetry Essay for my English lesson, and made a peice of poetry for it. The whole of my English department really liked it, and I got a lot of praise. If you have any suggestions on how I can improve or if you liked it or not, feel free to post.

'The Path to Death' By Toru202.


If I was to take this noble gun and thrust it in your hand,
Would you think of it as vile, or holy, bold and grand?
I was the man who took the torch and held it for all's sight,
There is no choice, in this world of war, to find peace; we have to fight.

I have seen the horror train of blood murder and death,
Felt the warmth of dying men's blood, and their chilling breath,
I want to know from your young heart if you could do the same,
Pick up the torch, young man, you see this is no game.

See the shallow wilderness full of fear ahead?
Force your soul into this gun; face the path to death.

 

[Weeds]

That was really good! I saw a WW1 battlefield before my eyes as I read that. It really gave a "We don't like this but we've gotta do it anyway"-feeling. You sure have talent, young man! (Even though you're probably older than I am, lol...) Keep it up! Very good!

 

[Teapot]

Very nice. Good poetry is always impressive, and this is no different - the imagery is excellent

I'd be interested to see more writing from you!

 

[Toru]

Thanks guys, I might get some more inspiration by playing some CoD:WaW XD