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my pokemon emerald nuzlocke part 1

by bluehedgehog

bluehedgehog the adventure of a pokemon trainer named justin lanchester as he goes on his quest to be the best and make money
Nuzlocke
(I am not going to go move by move in the battles just battle dialog and this is just for fun I own none of this)
Location: Littleroot town.
Justin (Jumping out of the back of the moving truck): (gasping for air) OH MY GOD WHY!
Mom: Justin, we’re here, honey!
Justin: WE HAVE BEEN STOPED FOR THREE HOURS AND NOW YOU FINALY LET ME OUT!
Mom: It must be tiring riding with our things in the moving truck.
Justin: Who does this to their child there was plenty of room in front. For Arceus’ sake you were driving the truck! Oh and I watered your plants while I was back there.
Mom: Well this is Littleroot town.
Justin: No really and here I thought it was Candy Land.
Mom: How do you like it? This is our new home!
Justin: I like it better than the back of the truck and… Wait we live here now you said we going to get ice cream. This place is horrible I mean they don’t even have a place to buy video games! And what about food I don’t see a super market or anything here! What are going to do eat our neighbors! Because that is cannibalism and I am not going to start eat people to survive.
Mom: It has a quaint feel, but it seems to be an easy place to live, don’t you think?
Justin: Did you not just hear what I said!?
Mom: And, you get your own room, Justin! Let’s go inside.
Justin: Banana cream pie.
Mom: You coming?
Justin: Not listening got it.
(The two walk in side)
Mom: See, Justin? Isn’t it nice in here, too?
Justin: Umm, what is he doing to the TV? Is here doing what I think he is doing?
Mom: The mover’s Pokémon do all the work of moving us in and cleaning up after.
Justin: Yeah, moving us in he’s HAVING HIS WAY WITH THE TV!
Mom: This is so convenient!
Justin: But he… you… why… I’m at a loss for words.
Mom: Justin, your room is upstairs. Go check it out, dear. Dad bought you a new clock to mark are move here.
Justin: Oh joy my room and a clock.
(Justin heads upstairs to see his room)
One clock setting later…
Location: down stairs
Mom: Oh Justin, Justin! Quick! Come quickly!
Justin: Arceus damn it! What now?
Mom: Look! It’s Petalburg Gym! Maybe Glen will be on!
Justin: Who? Oh right dad. And I don’t feel safe looking at the TV any more.
Mom: Oh… It’s over. I think Dad was on, but we missed him. Too bad.
Justin: Yeah too bad oh well time to hit on the neighbor chick.
Mom: Oh, yes. One of your dad’s friends lives in town. Prof. Birch is his name. He lives next door, so you should go over and introduce yourself.
Justin: Does my dad know everybody and now my plans to hit on the girl next door are shot.
One pointless talk with the Birch’s wife later…
Location:2nd floor of the Birch home
Justin: Oh my Arceus I did think she was ever going to shut up… hey cool free item. (Goes to grab item)
May: Who the hell are you!?
Justin: Well hello from the neck down. The name is Justin, Justin T Lanchester and you are?
May: Oh, you’re Justin. I’m May and…Blah…blah…blah.
(Justin fades out as he loses interest in the conversation and starts to stare at her chest. Then after the conversation end Justin walks out side)
Location: rout 101
Justin: Okay I need out of this town. NOW!
Man being chased by a Pokémon: Help, Help! You their go in to my bag and grab one of the pokeballs in there and save me!
Justin: I guess I can help you out let me see what you got in here (begins to rummage through the bag) okay we got some tic-taks, 100$, a picture of little miss big rack, and umm oh here we are!
A Pokémon battle begins
Justin: Come on don’t be a girl, don’t be a girl, and… why does the world hate me?
Battle ends Justin is the winner
Man: Thank you, my name is Prof. Birch and you are?
Justin: It’s Justin now where is my reward?
Birch: Oh your Glen’s kid Justin!
Justin: And so it begins.
Birch: Come back to my lab with me I’ve heard a lot about you from your dad.
Location: Birch’s lab
Birch: Your battle style is very similar to you dad.
Justin: Am I going to get paid for this or what old man?
Birch: Oh yes that you can keep that Torchic. Would you like give her a nickname?
Justin: I guess I’ll call here Kaitlynn.
Birch: Hey you should go see my kid May she is out on route 103 doing umm something
Justin: Go see your big breasted daughter …Got it.
Location: route 103
May: Hey, cool my dad gave you a Pokémon! Now let’s make them fight for our amusement!
Justin: Okay then…
Battle begins
Battle ends Justin is the winner
Justin: Who’s the man that’s right I am!
May: Hey lets head back to my dad’s lab.
Justin: Aaaa more walking? This sucks!
Location: Birch’s lab
Birch: You beat my daughter in one go? Wow you really are your father’s son.
Justin: You say it like it’s a bad thing.
Birch: Here have this extremely expensive piece of machinery and go on an adventure that will change the fate of the Hoen region forever.
Justin: Umm… Okay then. Thank you I guess. As long as I get to leave this town and never come back fine by me!
May: Here take these too (give Justin 5 pokeballs) you can use them to catch innocent creatures and make the fight for your amusement.
Justin: Okay you need help and peace! (Walks out the door)
Location: the middle of town
Mom: Hey Justin, take these running shoes so you can run around and …
Justin: Wait I need special shoes to run what’s wrong with these (looks down at his feet and sees his old and destroyed shoes) umm never mind thanks.
Justin: Finally I can get out of this town and I don’t have to deal with those stupid people ever again!
Kaitlynn: You telling me I hate stupid people.
Justin: Holy Miltank! You can talk!
Kaitlynn: We all can.
Justin: Then why didn’t you say something earlier?
Kaitlynn: I was thinking of ways to burn the town to the ground a get away with it.
Justin: Holy Miltank! You can talk!
Kaitlynn: And here I thought I was done dealing with stupid people.
Location: route 102
Justin: All right let’s see what we got on this route for Pokémon.
Battle begins
Justin: Oh cool a Ralts!
Kaitlynn: So you plan to catch this thing I wanted to kill it.
Justin: No I’m going to catch it.
Kaitlynn: Okay so you might want to weaken it…
(Justin chucks a pokeball)
Kaitlynn: Of course you get it in one shot.
Battle ends Justin caught Ralts
Justin: Yeah I got it now to train him and make him stronger and…
Kaitlynn: It’s a girl.
Justin: Son of a female Poochyena! Can I get a least one guy Pokémon! Now if you need me I will be taking out my anger on that tree.
Kaitlynn: (swipes the pokedex from Justin’s bag) so let’s see… Aaaa you’re a physic type well let’s call you Goddess.
Goddess: So dose this happen often?
Kaitlynn: I wouldn’t know we have only been out here for a couple of hours and just met you so we are just going to wait and see.
Goddess:So what else dose the dex say about me?
Kaitlynn: It says you’re of the careful nature.
Goddess: Well that’s not right.
Kaitlynn: What do you mean?
Goddess: Just last week I went bungee jumping without a helmet or the bungee cord.
Kaitlynn: Wow this thing is broken and it says I’m of the lonely nature I love people just not stupid people.
Justin: Okay I’m good now let’s go train God…dess. Oh come on you! Know what I don’t care let’s just go. And all you know is growl great just great.
One training session and some trainer battles later…
Goddess: So Justin are you sexist or something?
Justin: Oh NO! I’m not sexist or anything it’s just being with a bunch of women for an extended period of tome reminds me of my driver’s education class.
Kaitlynn and Goddess: You can drive!?
Justin: Yes and no I know how I just don’t have my driver’s license.
Goddess: Why is it don’t you have your license?
Justin: I don’t know I just never felt like I really needed it is all.
Goddess: Okay then.
Justin: So Goddess umm we ran into a lot of male Ralts’ during our training did you know any of them?
Goddess: All but one of them where my ex-boyfriends.
Justin: Really?
Goddess: Yeah.
Justin: Wow.
Location: Petalburg
Justin: Well theirs Petalburg better go see dad.
Goddess: Hey can we rest a center for a bit?
Kaitlynn: Please.
Justin: I’m in no hurry sure why not.
After resting Justin and his team find themselves standing outside the Petalburg gym
Justin: Let’s do this you two ready?
Goddess and Kaitlynn: Ready!
Justin: Then let’s do this.
Location: Inside the gym
Glen (Dad): Hmm? Hey it’s Justin! How have you been I guess you finish moving in to that horrible town and you have some Pokémon with you huh? So what brings you here?
Justin: Hello. Dad I’m here to challenge you to a…
(Random kid knocks down Justin)
Random kid: I’d like to get a Pokémon, please…
Justin: Okay ow.
Glen: And you are...Sally right
Wally: It’s Wally. I’m leaving town and would like to make the trip by myself but figured I would get lonely by myself so I wanted to take a Pokémon and you said you would help.
Glen: You heard Malloy, right?
Wally: Wally…
Glen: Gilligan.
Justin: Yes and thanks for helping me up oh wait you didn’t.
Glen: Go with him and make sure he safely catches a Pokémon. Here Molly that this Pokémon as a loaner and one pokeball to use.
Wally: Thanks and again its Wally.
Justin: Come on Billy lets go.
Wally: It’s WALLY! What is so hard about that!?
Location: route 102
Wally: A Ralts how cool they are supposed to be rare!
Justin: Yeah rare that’s why I have one and kill like four of them on the way here dude they are everywhere.
Battle begins
A wild Ralts appeared.
Justin: See what did I tell you?
Battle ends Wally caught a Ralts
Location: gym
Wally: Justin thanks for coming along with me.
Justin: Yeah, yeah, and yeah.
Wally: It’s thanks to…
(Justin fades out and thinks to himself)
In Justin’s thoughts: Huh, I wonder what my friends are up to back in the Kanto region?
(Justin starts to pay attention again)
Justin: Huh, when did smelly leave? Oh yeah, I’m here to challenge you to a Pokémon…
Glen: No you are not strong enough my son go to the Dagobah system and learn the ways of the Jedi from… wait wrong franchise I meant Rustboro city I meant to say go to Rustboro city beat the gym their and three other gyms be for you can fight me.
Justin: I hate you right now. Fine I will be back.
Location: route 104
Justin: Let’s see what we got in the tall grass here.
Battle begins
Justin: Hey look a Poochyena! Please be a guy this time.
Battle ends Justin caught Poochyena
Justin: And it’s a… where did the pokedex go!? Okay it’s not as bad as it seems… it’s just a whole lot worse!
Goddess: Kaitlynn show some mercy and give it back to him.
Kaitlynn: Why it’s funny to watch him freak out.
Goddess: True, but look at him.
Kaitlynn: Okay I’ll give it back… it’s gone…
Goddess: You’re kidding right?
Kaitlynn: Nope…hey what’s Poochyena have in his mouth?
Goddess: It looks like the dex. And how do you know it’s a he?
Kaitlynn: Checked when he caught him.
Goddess: Oh.
(Poochyena walks over to Justin who is crying in the fetal position and sits in front of him with the dex in his mouth and nudges Justin.)
Justin: Huh? Hey you found it Oh thank you Poochyena and you’re a male! I’m going to call you Ranger!
Ranger: Kaitlynn had it and wanted to watch you freak out over it so I took it when she wasn’t looking. Oh and goddess knew that she had it and said nothing.
Justin: Well it’s nice to know someone is on my side come on ranger we got some training to do.
Kaitlynn: I hate him.
Goddess: Me too.
One training session and a few trainer battles later…
Location: Petalburg woods
Justin: Alright what do we have in here?
Battle begins
Justin: Hey cool it’s a Wurmple. I’m going to catch it
Kaitlynn: Really?
Goddess: It’s a worm.
Ranger: I’m with them on this one.
Justin: Well to bad I already caught him and I’m calling him Squiggles.
Battle ends Justin caught Wurmple
Battle begins
Wild Poochyena appeared
Justin: Alright Squiggles lets go show them that you’re not useless and…
Ranger: He’s dead.
(Justin looks over and sees squiggles’ remains scattered everywhere.)
Justin: Huh, Okay let’s get going then.
Ranger: You’re just going to walk away from it not even try to avenge him?
Justin: You saw what that thing did to him I’m not even going to try.
Ranger: Good point.
Battle ends Justin fled
R.I.P. Squiggles
Man: Help, Help, oh nowhere could it be, oh never mind I found it.
Justin: Everything alright over here?
Man: Yes everything is…
Guy in a blue headband: Hand it over old man in the name of Team Aqua hand it over or I’m going to have my Pokémon attack you!
Man: You their help me. Please.
Justin: I miss my time in Kanto where you got mugged a gun point not a Pokémon point. Hey, I wonder how Red is doing?Last I heard he was going to climb mount. Silver. Oh what yeah sure whatever I’ll help you.
Battle begins
Justin: So you’re a member of the infamous team aqua that I have heard nothing about. Let’s see what you got.
Kaitlynn: Wow what a personality change.
Goddess: Yeah it is.
Aqua grunt: You’re tough!
Justin: And you’re weaker than this piece of sour gum. I can’t even taste the sour.
Battle ends Justin is the winner
Aqua grunt: You’ve got some nerve meddling with Team Aqua!
Justin: What you attacked me! So how am I meddling?
Aqua grunt: Back to Rustboro!
Man: That was awfully close!
Justin: What? Did you not watch the fight it was one sided.
Man: Here have this great ball as a reward!
Justin: Oh joy.
Man: Wait did that grunt say Rustboro! Oh no I got to go!
Some trainer and wild battles later…
Location: the other side of Petalburg woods
Justin: I think I see the exit!
Goddess: Oh thank Arceus the exit!
Ranger: Freedom from this horrible forest!
Kaitlynn: Sun light, glorious sun light!
Location: route 104
Justin: Hey guys look I can see the next town the only thing between us and a good meal is…
Kaitlynn: Oh come on, more trainers?
More trainer battles later…
Location: Rustboro city
Justin (panting and crawling on the ground):Must (pant) make it (pant) to the center!
Goddess: I can’t (pant) go on… but I must.
Ranger: I can see the center… but I’m not going to make it.
Kaitlynn: I’m so exhausted.
(Everyone stops and looks at Kaitlynn.)
Kaitlynn: What?
Everyone: You made us take shifts carrying you!
Location: Outside the Rustboro center
Justin: Okay where are we going from here?
Goddess: To the gym I guess.
Ranger: Why don’t we go train first?
Kaitlynn: Good Idea.
Justin: Training it is then!
Location: route 116(well that escalated quickly)
Justin: Okay what do we got out here.
Battle begins
Wild Taillow appeared
Justin: Sick a Taillow let’s catch it!
Ranger: Well that’s one less thing for us to kill.
Battle ends Taillow was caught
Kaitlynn: It’s a girl.
Justin: Son of a female Poochyena! Ranger you come up with the nickname this time.
Ranger: How about Wildstar?
Wildstar: Works for me!
One training session and a few trainer battles later…
Justin: Hey Wildstar guys think that Abra I okay? I mean I did land on top of it.
Wildstar: No I think you crippled it for life and it left to go kill its self to escape the pain.
Justin: Okay could that was a little dark there. And the dex says you’re jolly.
Goddess: Yeah that app doesn’t work.
Justin: Really?
Kaitlynn: Yeah it doesn’t work.
Justin: Okay,so Wildstar did you know any of the other Taillows back their?
Wildstar: Your typist (racist to Pokémon type) you think that because I’m a Taillow I must know other Taillows, Huh!?
Justin: What! No I’m not I was just trying to start a conversation!
Wildstar: Oh…sorry about that and yes I do know some of them I went to high school with them.
Justin: They have schools for Pokémon!? What are they like?
Wildstar: Let’s just say that Pokémon high school is the reason Pokémon attack people.
Justin: Okay then, now let’s go take on the gym.
Several gym trainers later…
Justin: Battle, now!
Gym leader Roxanne: Okay.
Battle begins
Justin: Goddess so you think you can take her down?!
Goddess: With my eyes closed!
Two minutes later…
Goddess: Okay I lied! tag me out!
Kaitlynn: I got this!
One minute later…
Kaitlynn (Running around in a panic): I don’t got this! I don’t got this! Someone help! Tag out, tag out!
Ranger: Let a man show you how it’s done.
Five minutes Later…
Ranger (crying and screaming in pain): Oh Arceus someone help me! I’m goanna die!
Wildstar: Some man you are. Now get out of my way!
Ten seconds later…
Wildstar: Okay I am at a disadvantage here someone help me!
Justin: It’s a good thing I brought potions. Okay Goddess you’re up.
Goddess: Oh no, not again.
Ten minutes later…
Wildstar: I don’t believe it…
Kaitlynn: We did it…
Goddess: By the skin of our teeth…
Ranger: We… WON!
Battle ends Justin is the winner and got the stone badge
Justin (sarcastically): Thanks it’s just what I wanted a pin and a CD.
Location: outside the gym
Aqua grunt (Running a way): Out of my way people! Move it old lady!
Man from the forest (yelling at the grunt): Wait! Pleeeaaase! Don’t the good stuff!
Justin: Umm maybe we should go see what’s going on?
Kaitlynn: Or we could go eat?
Justin: I could eat. What about you guys?
Ranger: I’m down.
Wildstar: Where the food at?!
Goddess: Food… I need food.
Justin: Okay let’s go eat!
One delicious meal later…
Justin: Okay, now let’s go see what’s up with the Aqua grunt.
Man from the forest: Hey it’s you the kid from the forest! Could you help me out again?
Justin: One. Don’t call me a kid. Two. Sure I guess we can help you out.
Man from the forest: Oh thank you!
Justin: Let me guess you got robbed by the grunt and what he took was important?
Man from the forest: Yes…
Justin: I’ll be back. (Walks away)
Location: route 116
Old man: Ohhh, what am I doing?
Justin: I don’t remember asking. So goodbye crazy guy.
Old man: I was walking and my Peeko was taken by a grunt.
Justin: TEAM ROCKET… so they followed me here. I’ll show them that… doing… something…is… wrong.
(Kaitlynn bangs her head on the side of the cave entrance)
Old man: He had on a blue head band on his head and…
Justin: Oh, team aqua.
Old man: I saw him run in side…
Justin: I’ll be back. (Walks in to the cave)
Location: Rusturf tunnel (what kind of name is that?)
Aqua grunt: Aaaa, I see you grew a pair and decided to try and take back… (Turns around) Oh it’s you here for a rematch I see!
Justin: Noooo, I’m here to get back what you took and beat you again because I enjoyed making you cry last time you lost.
Aqua grunt (fighting back the tears): I wasn’t crying! (Sniffle and wipes away some tears)
Justin: Sure what ever let’s get this over with.
Battle begins
Justin: Ranger make this quick.
Ranger: But I wanted to toy with him a little…fine I’ll make this quick.
Aqua grunt: That’s what you think I’ve gotten stronger since last time.
Justin: Dude it’s already over.
Aqua grunt: What? (Looks over at the battle and sees Ranger chewing on his Poochyena’s severed leg)
Ranger: Taste like chicken.
(Aqua grunt runs away crying)
Battle ends Justin is the winner as well as got the stolen goods back
And Ranger got a delicious snack for later
Old man: Oh thank you for saving Peeko! By the way the name is Mr. Briney and you are…
Justin: My name is Justin and I’m waiting for a reward.
Briney: I owe you one. Tell you what come down to my place on the other side of the Petalburg woods with any problem you may and I’ll see what I can do to help you. (Walks way)
Justin: Yeah just what I need to talk to an old man alone in his home on the… Wait, did you say Petalburg woods!
Kaitlynn: He said Petalburg woods.
Justin: Oh joy.
Location: Rustboro city
Man from the forest: Hey did you get the stuff.
Justin: What makes you think I have… oh right the stuff that got stolen here take it.
Man from the forest: Here as a reward take this great ball.
Justin (sarcastically): Wow, now I have two don’t I feel special.
Man from the forest: Come with me…
Justin: Umm… no.
Man from the forest: To see my boss.
Justin: Okay then.
Location: third floor of the Devoncrop.
Man from the forest: My boss wants to have words with you.
Justin: Fine by me I just want to leave.
Mr. Stone: The name’s Mr. Stone and I am the president of the company.
Justin: Good for you.
Mr. Stone: Take this letter and deliver it to my friend in Slateport city oh and have a cell phone
Justin: Best reward ever. Oh and it’s got an app store better download a map.
Mr. Stone: And my number is already in there.
Justin: And this just got creepy.
Mr. Stone: Oh and stay away from the criminal groups of Magma and Aqua if you can.
Justin: Got it stay away from the Crips and Bloods.
Location: the exit of route 104
May: Hey, Justin!
Justin: Oh miss big rack.
May: Hey you got a phone I’m just going to take it and put my number in there.
Justin: Great now how do you get rid of the phone numbers you don’t want?
(Justin fades in and out)
May: I… Briney… boat…pokedex…battle!
Justin: Huh, what sure.
Battle begins
Justin: Ranger your up!
Ranger: Alright!
Two minutes later…
Ranger (running a round on fire): Help me! I’m on fire! Get some water or something! Help!
Kaitlynn: I got this.
Ten seconds later…
Kaitlynn: Was it that hard to kill it? Wildstar your up!
Wildstar: Got it!
One minute later…
Wildstar: To easy.
May: You beat me again. I will beat you one day.
Battle ends Justin is the winner
May: See you later. Hey, you might want to go see Mr. Briney.
One long trip through the forest later…
Location: Briney’s home
Briney: Sure I’ll give you a ride to Dewfordthen Slateport I’ll see you on my boat and we will be there in no time.
One boat ride with a creepy old man later…
Location: Dewford town
Justin: Well now I’ve got dad’s number and to set the ring tone and done.
Goddess: Now let’s go deliver that letter.
One hour of pointless running a round and battling trainers
Location: Granite cave
Justin: Okay we are in a cave let’s hope we don’t run in to a zubats.
Battle begins
Wild Aron appeared.
Justin: Better than a zubat. Okay Goddess try not to kill it.
Goddess: Okay then I will just hurt it a little.
Three hours of goddess attacking later…
Goddess: Okay its nice and weak now start throwing pokeballs at it while I take a nap.
Battle ends Aron was caught
Justin: Think the world is punishing me for something I did in a past life.
Ranger: It’s another girl isn’t it?
Justin: Yep. And we are going to call her Krystal.
Krystal (sarcastically): Well this is going to be fun.
Justin: Well time to train again.
One training session later
Justin: Okay I have to ask Krystal how where you able to see in that cave? It was so dark I could even see my hands!
Krystal: I have night vision goggles.
Justin: Really?! Can use them the guy I’m supposed to give this letter to is in here but I can’t see anything.
Krystal: I would but I lost them I put them down and then they were gone sorry.
Justin: Oh well we will find him eventually.
Six hours of wondering a round in the dark later…
Justin (crawling on the ground panting): zubats (pant)… so many zubat but it’s all over thank Arceus that I found the… only room in the cave that has light… hey you in the suit do you know how to get out of here oh and if you see a guy in here by the name of… Steven give him this.
Steven: That’s me I’m Steven.
Justin: Oh good. Here take this letter. And where is the exit to this place?
Steven: Here have this as a reward for delivering this.
Justin: Great another CD… I hope this isn’t going to be a reoccurring thing.
Steven: Here I’m just going to put my number in your phone.
Justin (sarcastically): Oh goodie just what I wanted another dude’s phone number.
Steven: Well I’m going head out now so bye.
Justin: Wait! You didn’t tell me how to… get out of here. Well here we go again. (Leaves room hoping to find the exit)
Location: Dewford town
Justin: Finally we made it out to sleep once I get to a center.
One desperately needed rest later…
Justin: Okay time to hit the gym.
Kaitlynn: You’re going to work out?
Justin: No the other gym. I swear you do this to get me angry.
Several gym trainers later…
Justin: You! Me! Battle!
Leader Brawly: Fine by me.
Battle begins
Justin: Wildstar it’s your time to shine!
Wildstar: Alright let’s do this!
Five minutes later…
Kaitlynn: Okay move it Wildstar I want some of this action!
Wildstar: Okay don’t get killed.
Kaitlynn: I’m not going to get killed or hurt so relax will you.
(Kaitlynn gets picked up and tossed a cross the room into a wall)
Kaitlynn: Tag out, tag me out!
Goddess: It’s your fault she did worn you.
Kaitlynn: Shut… up!
Battle ends Justin is the winner and got the Knuckle badge
Brawly: Here take this too.
Justin: Okay you know what I’m getting sick of all these CDs.
Brawly: Oh and here’s my number.
Justin: I hate my life. Well now to Slateport.
Another boat ride and several trainer battles later…
Location: Slateport
Justin: Hey, guy lets go train.
Kaitlynn: Umm aren’t we supposed to deliver something and is that team Aqua in a massive line for the museum?
Justin: So I want to see what is out on the next route.
Kaitlynn: Fine.
Location: route 110
Battle begins
Justin: Hey cool a Minum. Krystal beat the living out of it but do not kill it.
Krystal: Got it.
Battle ends Minum was caught
Justin: How bout we call you D-Battery?
D-Battery: Really dude.
Justin: Yes.
D-Battery: Fine I guess I can live with this.
One training session later…
Location: Slateport ship yard
Random builder: Capt. Stern he stepped out. You should go fined him.
Justin: Of course.
Location: outside the museum
Ranger: Umm wasn’t there a line of criminals here just a minute a go?
Justin: Well let’s go inside.
Ranger: Why!?
Justin: I don’t know!
Ranger: They are all probable in side murdering people!
Justin: So what yours saying is go inside?
Ranger (sarcastically): Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.
Justin: Then let’s go.
Location: inside the museum 2nd floor
Justin: Hey are you Capt. Stern?
Stern: That’s me, what do you need?
Justin: Here catch, (tosses the package to Stern) this is for you it’s from the Devon crop president. Okay I did my job I’m leaving.
(Justin starts to walk away)
Aqua grunt: And now to do my job and take that package!
Justin: Team Aqua why am I not surprised. Hey wait, aren’t you the guy I made cry twice?
Aqua grunt: Aaaah! This time you are going to be the one in tears! Aaaah!
Battle begins
Justin: Did I touch a nerve. And you got a replacement I see. That’s good Ranger was getting hungry.
Two minutes later…
Ranger: Umm I don’t think I can beat him this time.
Justin: Well if you say so Ranger. Krystal you up for a fight?
Krystal: I up for it!
Aqua grunt: Aaaaaaaaaaa!
Battle ends Justin is the winner
Justin: You know what I’m going to call you Weeps-allot
Aqua grunt: You wimp! I’ll show you how it’s done!
Battle begins
Aqua grunt: You’re going down kid!
Justin: DON’T! ... Call me “Kid”!
D-Battery: I’ll take this one!
Battle ends Justin is the winner
Aqua grunt: How? How is this possible?
Justin: Now what did you learn?
Weeps-allot: I’m going to beat you I swear it!
Aqua member with a beard: What is taking you two so long? Is this kid giving you trouble?
Justin: You want to go pal?
Aqua member with a beard: I am Team Aqua’s leader, Archie!
Justin: Hey Archie how’s Jug Head?
Archie: Rrrrrr. Wait you’re not a member of Team Magma are you?
Justin (sarcastically): No I’m a member of the infamous Team Pika.
(Grunts throw smoke bombs at the floor filling the room with smoke)
Stern: They are gone.
Justin (sarcastically): No they are invisible.
Stern: I got to go! (Runs out the door)
Justin: Better get going to.
Location: 1st floor
Justin: Hey Weeps-allot what are you doing here still?
Weeps-allot:Oh No, it’s you! Umm, umm (chucks a CD at Justin and runs away).
(Justin catches the CD)
Justin: Okay really, another one? I’m getting sick of this. Huh he’s gone oh well.(Walks out the door)
Location: route 110
Birch: Oh Justin! Hey I thought you and May where traveling together?
Justin: And what made you think that?
Birch: Here let me give you my number.
Justin: Right you and every one else in that town doesn’t listen to anything I say.
Birch: I better get going. (Walks away)
Several trainer battles later…
Justin: Man I hate double battles…and what is happening to Kaitlynn
Goddess: I think she is evolving.
Justin: And here I thought she didn’t believe in evolution.
Kaitlynn: Man you are an idiot and now I can’t work the cute card now to play the violent card.
Even more trainer battles later…
May: Hi, Justin!
Justin: Oh hey.
May: Battle me
Justin: Sure, why not?
Battle begins
Goddess: Time to whip some tail!
Justin: Hey! That’s my line!
Two minutes later…
Goddess (in a panic): Tag out! Tag out!
D-Battery: Let me show you how it’s done.
Seven minutes later…
D-Battery (crawling on the ground): Help me… Please.
Ranger: Man you are a wimp.
Three minutes later…
Ranger: Somebody save me!
Krystal: Move out of the way I got this!
Four minutes later…
Krystal: Thanks for the save.
Kaitlynn: Not a problem. Besides I’ve got a score to settle with this one!
Fifteen minutes later…
Wildstar: Move it Kaitlynn I want a piece of this!
One minute later…
Wildstar (running around): Umm, help!
Ranger: Move I’ll win this even if it kills me!
Wildstar: But you can barely stand you are going to get killed!
Ranger: Do you think I care! This battle needs to end! And I’m going to end it here and now!
Battle ends Justin is the winner
May: Darn I wasn’t even close to beating you.
Justin: What are you talking about you maimed more than half my team!
May: Here I want you to have this as a reward for beating me.
Justin (sarcastically): Two metal sticks. Yeah that’s what I wanted.
May: Bye now!
Justin: Okay now to run to the center like a scared child. (Runs away screaming)
One much needed rest and trip to a doctor later…
Location: Back on route 110
Justin: So Ranger are you sure you’re okay? You did take a real beating in that battle.
Ranger: Stop worrying. I’m fine.
Justin: Okay if you say so. But I want you to take it easy for a while.
Ranger: I’m not taking it easy.
Justin: Fine! Fine! But you get yourself killed it’s not my fault.
Ranger: Can we just go train now?
One training session and several trainer battles later…
Justin: Hey umm Ranger are you okay?
Kaitlynn: He’s evolving!
Ranger: Well don’t I look like a savage beast!
More training later…
Location: Mauville city bike shop
Justin: Huh, this is a nice place I wonder if they have that same bike in blue?
Store owner: Hey you’re a new face; did you come from far away?
Justin: Yeah I’m originally from Kanto, but then ended up in Littleroot town. Man I hate that place.
Store owner: Well then how about a free bike?
Justin: Really, no fooling?
Store owner: No fooling. We have two types of bike the Aero and Mach bikes you can do tricks on the Aero bike and you can really move on the Mach bike. So witch do you want?
Justin: Give me the Mach bike I feel a need for speed.
Store owner: Here you go then.
Justin: Do you have this in blue?
Store owner: No.
Justin: Can you check?
Store owner: No and get out.
Justin (In an offended tone): Well then. Good day to you then.
Location: outside the gym
Wally: Pleeeaaase uncle!? I want to challenge the gym to see how strong I have become. Pleeeaaase!
Wally’s uncle: Hold on their Nemo.
Wally: It’s Wally.
Uncle: What makes you think you have what it takes to take on a gym?
Wally: Just trust me I can do this!
Uncle: Well I don’t think you can.
Wally: Oh hey Justin!
Justin: What’s up Jimmy!
Wally: Its Wally… and have a battle with me so I can show my uncle what I can do!
Justin: Sure whatever just don’t start crying when I win.
Battle begins
Justin: Ranger you have the honor.
Ranger: Thank you now I’ll make this quick.
Battle ends Justin is the winner
Wally: Wait its over already?
Justin: What can I say I’m good.
Uncle: I knew you would lose but you showed me you have guts. Maybe you are ready to become a real trainer like Justin.
(Wally and his uncle walk away)
Justin: Well let’s go see what Pokémon are in the next route.
Location: route 117
Battle begins
Justin: Oh joy another bug type well we can try to catch it but I’m not going to be upset if we don’t.
Ranger: Okay let’s do this.
Ten seconds later…
Justin: Wow! Ranger I think you went a little over board?
Ranger: Why do you say that?
Justin: Oh I don’t know the fact that you ripped out its till beating heart and eat it like it was an apple.
Battle ends Justin did not caught Illumise
Justin: Okay now let’s go train.
One training session and several trainer battles later…
Justin: Really how many more evolutions are we going to go through before we fight the next gym?
Goddess: Well be grateful I’m a girl or it would be kind of creepy traveling around with a cross dressing Pokémon.
Justin: Yeah you’re right that would be creepy.
Location: gym
Several gymtrainers later…
Justin: Really I have to beat up an old man to get this badge?
Leader Wattson: Want a badge do you? Beat me and it’s yours!
Justin: That was the plan!
Battle begins
Justin: Goddess your up!
Goddess: This is going to be fun!
Two minutes later…
Goddess (screaming): I can’t feel my legs help! Tag out, tag out!
Krystal: They don’t stand a chance against me!
Thirty seconds later…
Krystal: I was wrong… it was the other way around.
Ranger: I’ll take it from here!
Five seconds later…
Ranger: Did he just blow himself up?
Justin: Yeah… he did…
Ranger: Why? (With a smirk) Could he not handle me in my awesome black sunglasses? So does anyone won’t to have a turn or am I going to do all the work?
Kaitlynn: I want in on this!
Six minutes later…
Kaitlynn: Okay I’m tired someone else takeover.
D-Battery: I take over for you!
Ten minutes later…
(Wattson’s Manectric dashes across the field slamming D-battery into a wall and severing his spine [in case you didn’t catch this but D-Battery just got killed])
Justin: D-BATTERY!
Kaitlynn: Oh my Arceus…
Goddess: I don’t believe it…
Wildstar: He… He’s not moving…
Krystal: I think I’m going to be…
Ranger: Rrrrrr, Rrrrrr, Aaaa! I’LL KILL HIM! I’LL RIP OUT HIS STILL BEATING HEART AND EAT IT LIKE A GRAPE!
Battle ends Justin is the winner and got the dynamo badge plus another CD. Ranger avenged D-Battery’s death and ate Manectric’s still beating heart like a grape
Justin: Ranger you okay buddy?
Ranger: No! I just watched my friend get murdered!
Justin: Come on guys lets go put him to rest to rest.
One sad funeral later…
R.I.P. D-Battery…
Location: route 112
Wildstar: I’m just so mad right now I was useless in that fight if I had been stronger maybe we might not have lost D-Battery…
Justin: Wildstar it’s not your… fault? Wildstar you’re evolving!
Wildstar: With this new strength I will not let his memory be in vain!
Justin: Come on let’s go train…
Battle begins
Justin: Look a Numel.
Krystal: I know the drill.
Battle ends Numel was caught
Justin: We are going to call you Hotshot.
Hotshot (talks like he is in slow motion): Ooookay… I can… live with thaaaat.
Justin: By any chance could you talk faster?
Hotshot: Yeah I can talk faster.
Justin: I hate you and will not shed a tear if you die.
Everyone: Same!
One training session and several trainer battles
(But Hotshot didn’t get any training nobody like him later)
Location: Fiery path
Hotshot: Come on let me be in at least one battle.
Justin: Fine
Battle begins
Justin: Hey, Hotshot try not to kill this Torkoal.
Hotshot: I’m just happy to be in a battle for once!
Five minutes later…
Hotshot: Hey, can someone trade places with me I think I’m going to die if we you don’t.
(Everybody is playing poker in the corner)
Wildstar: King me!
Goddess: We are playing Poker!
Ranger: I win! I got Jin!
Justin: (sigh) Okay let’s go over the rules again and start over.
Hotshot: Guys? (Turns around)... Oh Arceus… No!
(Hotshot just got killed and nobody cared)
Justin: Huh? What? Oh Hotshot died… Oh well one of you want to help me replace him with that Torkoal?
Wildstar: Okay I’ll do it.
Battle ends Torkoal was caught
R.I.P. Hotshot (Thank Arceus he is gone. Let’s be honest nobody liked him)
Justin: I’m going to call you Mr. Splashy.
Kaitlynn: Justin!
Justin: Fine we will call him Dr. Cooper.
Dr. Cooper: I’m okay with that after all I do have a doctorate in Archeology.
Justin: Really?
Dr. Cooper: Yeah.
Justin: Cool.
One training session and several trainer battles later…
Location: route 113
Justin: Too bad Dr. Cooper didn’t make it through the training session.
Goddess: Yeah, Oh well.
Battle begins
Justin: Nice a Scarmory!
Krystal: Let’s do it!
Battle ends Scarmory was caught
Justin: How about we call you Scar.
Scar: Yo dog that name is tight.
Justin: Oh Arceus, Why?
One training session and several trainer battles later…
Justin: Stupid ninja blew up Scar.
Ranger: At least we don’t have to listen to him talk anymore.
Justin: True.
R.I.P. Scar
After more training…
Location: route 114
Justin: Okay let’s try getting a member who will actually make it through a training session.
Battle begins
Justin: It’s a… Lotad… well that’s… depressing.
Goddess: I hear you.
Battle ends Lotad was caught
Justin: I guess we will call you Gabriel.
Gabriel: Alright let’s go then.
One training session later…
Location: Meteor falls
R.I.P Gabriel
Justin: Okay the new guys all need to stop dying! And who are the guys in red?
Guy in red: Thanks for the meteorite now we can use it to…who are and how long have you been there?
Justin: If I say I got here just before you turned around will you let me go?
Magma grunt: No. besides we can’t have anyone interfering with Team Magma’s plans!
Archie: Hold it right there Team Magma!
Justin: Oh boy… I’m about to witness a gang fight I better hid behind some big rocks.
Magma grunts: Run!
(Magma grunts ran away)
Archie: Hey haven’t I seen you before?
Justin: Archie how could you forget me? I’m your best friend. Jug Head.
Archie: Oh I’m so sorry Jug Head how could I forget you! Look head down to the dinner and I’ll buy you a hamburger and… Hey, wait a minute!
Justin: Darn I almost got a free burger out of this.
Archie: Just stay away from Team Magma! They are evil.
Justin: And what are you guys the police?
Archie: Rrrrrr. (walks away)
Justin: I win. Okay now to see what Team Magma is up to.
Location: Top of MT. Chimney
Justin: I think we just stumbled in to an all-out gang war?
Ranger: What makes you think (Looks around and sees Pokémon and trainers killing and out right murdering each other) that… never mind.
Justin: How about we go make some grunts cry!
Team: Let’s do it!
Battle begins
Female Magma grunt: I won’t let you interfere with Team Magma’s plans!
Wildstar: That’s what you think girly!
Ten seconds later…
Female Magma grunt: Not my beautiful face!
Justin: Okay Fine just get out of here Miss. Thing.
Miss. Thing: Thank you! (Runs away)
Battle ends Justin is the winner
Goddess: That was nice of you to let her go like that.
Justin: Come on let’s go take out some more grunts.
A few more grunt battles later…
Man in red: The meteorite it has so much power within it… and who dares sneak up on Maxie! But seriously who are you?
Justin: Did your parents hate you or something?
Maxie: Oh… you’re the “kid” Archie was talking about.
Justin: Rrrrrr. Do not call me KID!
Battle begins
Justin: I am going to enjoy destroying you!
Goddess: Justin, chill out.
Justin: Can we just get this fight over with.
Goddess: Yeah, fine.
Battle ends Justin is the winner
Maxie: How did I lose?
Justin: I’m good at this that’s how.
Maxie: You may have beaten me this time, but once I have that orb nothing will stop me!
(Smoke covers the mountain top and team magma is gone when it clears)
Archie: Thank you helping us beat Team Magma.
Justin: Who said I was helping you?
Archie: Then whose side are you on?
Justin: I’m on the side of truth, justice and free bacon.
(Archie throws a smoke bomb and disappears)
Justin: I got to get some of those.
Location: Lavaridge town gym
After several gym trainers later…
Justin: You in the skin tight shirt and pants I challenge you to a… (While starring at her shit) umm is it cold in here or something.
Leader Flannery: What? (Looks down and sees what Justin was talking about [you guys know what I’m talking about eh-eh-eh] and blushes covering up her shirt) NO! It’s not like that! It’s just really hot in here and everyone in hear is sweating like crazy! So I’m not cold I’m hot …
Justin: And bothered. You know there are ways to fix that? And I am willing to help you with that.
Leader Flannery: Beat me and we will see about that!
Justin: Challenge accepted!
Battle begins
Justin: Let’s do it!
Goddess: Well you’re motivated.
Justin: Just make this quick.
Goddess: Okay!
Three minutes later…
Goddess: Umm anyone want to trade places? I don’t think I can keep going.
Ranger: Gladly!
Seven minutes later…
Ranger: Okay that hurt. Tag out!
Kaitlynn: Tag me in and I’ll finish this!
Six minutes later…
Wildstar: Kaitlynn take a break I got this.
Kaitlynn: About time!
Eight minutes later…
Wildstar: Someone take over! I am going to get killed!
Krystal: I’ll do it!
Justin:You will be killed if you fight!
Krystal:I’m still going to try!
Nine minute later…
Krystal: It seems we have been backed into a corner and we are not going to make it out of this alive!
Justin: You are right we got to think of something!
(Will Justin and his team make it out of this alive or die trying we will just have to wait and see in ”My Emerald Nuzlocke part two shit gets real… maybe…”)
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