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Passed Away

Shiny Motley

2016 Singles Football
Note: this is an extremely serious and touchy topic; if you're not comfortable posting your stories here, please don't feel pressured to do so.

With some events that's happened these past few weeks, I had an urge to start a topic like this. I've... never really had a chance to be really open about my feelings on this topic. I guess this is my own way to vent, even if my story took place a few years ago. A lot of this will probably be jumbled as even 2 years later, I'm still very emotional about it every time it's brought up. It's... a very long rambling. So spoiler tag.

Feb. 20, 2014. I remember that exact day so clearly in my head; I had my midterm of the semester that day, and woke up earlier than normal to study for it. I got breakfast at the nearby dining hall on campus, and met a friend there, Ian. Ian and I talked a bit about how our first semester of college life had been, what we were looking forward to this second semester, just regular small talk. I mentioned how my grandfather was in the hospital after a nasty fall over Thanksgiving break, but last I heard from him he sounded like he was recovering nicely. Ian said he'd pray for a speedy recovery for my grandfather, and I thanked him for it.

After breakfast, we parted ways and I did a bit of quick cramming before my exam. I walked in and had another chat with a friend, though it was brief as the professor and TAs started passing out the exams. I finished relatively quickly and turned it in. Feeling good about how I did, I decided I should phone my parents and tell them the good news.

I phoned my mother first. I told her how confident I felt, and how I almost definitely got an A. Her voice was strangely subdued. I knew she'd usually be quiet because she was in her office, but something felt... off. She told me she was busy, and I left it at that. I went to get a brekafast taco and sat in the lobby area outside of the dining hall, debating whether I should go to my next class or not. After a bit, I walked out and started on my way back to my dorm, deciding it was time I shared the good news with dad.

Like mother, his voice was quiet and just... I dunno. Nothing made sense to me. Dad was acting weird, the background noise didn't sound like his office building. I was so confused, though he expressed that he felt happy I did well on my exam. We hung up shortly after that and I decided that I didn't want to go to either of my next two classes. I went to my room and went on chat for a bit. I felt really melancholic for whatever reason and thought perhaps I was homesick. I found myself crying and so I climbed into bed, wanting my pillows and blankets to offer me some comfort. My roommate walked in sometime later, and I told her not to bother me.

At some point I probably fell asleep, still crying. Regardless, I woke up. My small group was celebrating my friend's birthday today, and though I really wasn't feeling up to it, nobody else seemed to have time to go. So I got cleaned myself up and got dressed before walking over to our meet-up area.

Our small group leader, Caroline, was already there waiting. I waved at her and we had some small talk about midterm season and the like. Grace, the birthday girl, showed up not long after, and so we walked over to a Thai restaurant close to campus. I don't remember what I got, but I do remember telling them the same thing I told Ian: my grandpa looked like he was getting better when I went back the past weekend, and we all prayed for a speedy recovery for him. We wished Grace a happy birthday and parted ways, and, having nothing better to do, I went back to my dorm.

My roommate was gone for a study session, so I went on chat for a bit. I got a call from my parents not long after. I talked to my dad a bit about Grace's little party where only Caroline and I showed up, and how I cried earlier that day because I felt really homesick. At this point, my dad paused, and seemed to have a small discussion with the people around him. I could make out my uncle and mom's voices telling him something, but I couldn't make out what. Impatient, I asked what was wrong. And that's when I finally got the news.

Around 9:11 am, right before I took my exam, my grandfather passed away.



It took me a while for that to sink in. All day, I've been telling people he looked better, that he seemed to be recovering. I asked them to pray for him to get better. If God has a sense of humor, it's a very twisted one. Everything suddenly made sense: why my parents sounded so strange that morning, why I broke down in the afternoon. It was all just too surreal. I don't remember much after that; I probably spent a lot more time crying in my bed, a bit more crying over my computer as I talked to people online, and some more after my roommate came back and I told her what happened. It was about 10:43 when they told me. I honestly don't know what happened after that, not the next few hours or even the next few days.

Sometime in early March, we held the funeral for him. My other uncle came over from China and stayed with us. My cousin arrived from Chicago not long after. One of my grandpa's students drove down from Ohio and gave his eulogy, talking about what a great mentor and friend he was, and how he was glad that they met one last time the year before to have dinner. My dad and older uncle also gave their spiels. Meanwhile, my cousin and I were barely functioning as we cried and piled up tissue after tissue between us, and my poor grandmother... my poor grandmother. I don't think I need to say much more than that. At the end of it all, the family all lined up, and everyone who attended gave us long hugs and cried with us. My best friend, who hates physical affection and shies away from even hand holding, who had never even talked to my grandfather, was there, and she hugged me tightly. My roommate did the same.

It's 2 years later, and I can't even hold myself together as I remember him and all he's done. He got his US Citizenship just a year before he passed away. He saw not just his children, but also his grandchildren, go on to college. He was able to see everyone at least one last time during the 3 months he was hospitalized. I'm sure he lived a very hapoy and fulfilling 88 years, but I'll miss him dearly.
 
This just happened yesterday. My mum, my beautiful, strong, brave mum is gone. She had been having heart problems recently. But she brushed it off until last night she had a heart attack. This morning at 12:30, she was pronounced dead. I remember her last words to me. "Realyn, you beautiful girl, I cannot go on any longer. You will do great things someday. I swear. You have a amazing gift, and I will be right next to you the whole time. Just know that. I love you, Rea." I gave my mum a card I made, a plushies from her childhood, a hug and a kiss, and I told her she was the best mum anyone could every have. Then I was waiting next to her, holding her hand until her breathing stopped. I'm all alone now. I'm moving in with my Aunt Cassie in America, where I was going to move anyways. I'm sorry if this is too deep.
 
Starfall, you don't have to apologize for telling this deep situation. It must be really hard for you, and I admire you to be able to talk about it in the way you do. But I want you to know that you're wrong; you're not all alone. There are probably lots of people here wanting to help you, and you can come to us (even though we haven't really talked too much) if you want a shoulder to cry on or a hand to help you standing up.

And please, just keep in mind the phoenix rises from the ashes, and you can rise from hard moments like this. Feel when you need to feel, cry when you need to cry, and, sometime, you will feel the need to smile.
 
I miss my great grandmother. She died a few years ago. I have been crying over it a lot. I miss her terribly. I have such a warm spot in my heart for the elderly. They're so great to talk to. Hope you have a nice day. :)
 
*deep breaths*
Ok. My grandfather died on August 2015. I kinda faded away after he died. I wasn't at jolly, I wasn't happy. Anyways, when I was about three, when everyone came around my house, my grandfather would gather me and my cousins and take us to an small nook where they sold toys. My father was sixty-ish when he died. The awesome thing about him is that he still drank mountain dew and seemed to understand children. He never took a bath. I feel so horrible about saying this, but when he was still able to walk and visit our house for a bit, I never let him watch the news. I always had something to watch. And then one day in August a few days after my mother's birthday, he was playing with my younger cousin, Liam, and then he just stopped. He stood up and said he couldn't breathe. My mother said he passed out. When this had happened, me, Liam's brother Gaby, and our caretakers were watching a movie. When we came home, my mother got the news her father was dead. Its been months, and I still can't let my mind think about him. I still can't resist tearing up when I see an picture of him. My mother always said my grandfather was very handsome and charming. I still think he is, actually.

In my grandmother's house, we put up an picture of him and surrounded it with candles. Nowadays, when anyone visits that house, you always have to say, 'Hello, lolo.'. I always pretend to be optimistic and happy. But my thoughts are jumbled up, too much regrets, too much memories, too much things I want to forget. I'll be fine, though. I know it.
(Oh, and lolo means grandfather. Filipino here and all. ^^)
 

Rinoa Heartilly

Mother of Meltans
When I was 17, I lost my best friend named Daric. He was funny, musical, kind and patient. Daric was one of the few friends that I had. The dude had a hereditary cancer; Leukemia. He was his families only means of support because his father was unwell and his sister was still too young to work and a student in high school. Daric was a student too, but old enough to work. So, he did. Worked his ass off every single day. He never told his friends right away that he was dying until it was... too hard to hide. I was never meant to find out. A mutual friend let it slip and that's how I found out. I was devastated. Daric always had a fear of dying and of passing on this illness if he had chosen a family life. Which he had wanted, but decided that it was too selfish to make come true. Until, towards the end, a past flame came forward with his daughter. And instead of feeling mad, having not known for a year that she even existed, he felt happiness in its place. He overcame his fear of cameras, took as many photos with her as he could so she would have some sort of memory of her father... And then he died at 18, just before his 19th birthday. I miss him every day. Every year on his birthday, I light a candle and let him know that I remember him. That I still care. I've learned to cope with my sadness over time. It never goes away, but it does become more manageable.
 
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